


The Warmth of Life

by sweetlemonjam



Series: Life & Undeath [2]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Anal Sex, Blood Drinking, Consensual Somnophilia, Consent, Cunnilingus, Domination, Double Penetration, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Femdom, Finger Sucking, Interchangeable Genitalia, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Love Bites, Multiple Orgasms, Nonbinary Character, Orgasm Delay, Other, Pegging, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Romance, Slow Burn, Submission, Vaginal Sex, Vampire Bites, Vampires, Vampiric Charm, WEIREN HAS THE ELF BLESSING OK, Wholesome, but like pretty mild, but wholesome, im nonbinary writing this nb character so dw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 127,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26900419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlemonjam/pseuds/sweetlemonjam
Summary: Time passes and Weiren returns to Mevaden with a heart full of affection and undying love for the vampiric Queen Vicouryn. She wonders how someone so good and kind could have fallen for someone like her.NSFW sexy scenes: second half of CH 1, CH 3, start and end of CH 5, second half of CH 6, middle and end of CH 7, start and end of CH 8each chapter will list relevant tags in the author notes
Relationships: Original D&D Character(s)/Original D&D Character(s), Paladin / Vampire
Series: Life & Undeath [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899130
Comments: 50
Kudos: 29





	1. Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> HEY EVERYONE IM BACK WITH THE SEQUEL.  
> for those who dont know im diceheist on tumblr, i have more crystal concord art and stuff on there if ur interested. i also have a twitter to post my weicouryn art including some saucier stuff..... if ur interested slap a follow to @lemonweiwen
> 
> THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER INCLUDE: vaginal sex and femdom (every chapter is femdom lets be real)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiren returns to Mevaden after a long time.

The next time Weiren returns to Mevaden, they come alone.

It is not as if there is any conflict with them and the Concord, no, but the war has ended, and each party member has their own goals to pursue. They are no longer tied together to fight the threat of Brauven, nor are they still spiritually linked with Arkova, and so for now, they have parted ways. Kainen is still in Doluum, but he is focusing on his people, as Ashana is now a vassal state of the alliance, and he is hoping to raise them to a higher status. Dormin has gone to rebuild his lost order alongside Keroth, back in Vangath. Lynne finally has time to reunite with her family, properly and without the threat of war looming over her. Though, the party did get them out of Vangath back earlier in the year, and now they are all in Gedal.

Weiren perhaps may have people from their past, but they do not have a people to lead, or an order to reconstruct, nor do they really have much of a family to return to. At most, they have the ability to find the druids again and perhaps train with them, but they are not that close with them. Their friends of the Crystal Concord all have their own lives and people that care for them. 

For a long time, especially after fleeing Vangath, Weiren did not have anyone.

Not until they met her. 

So even though they arrive alone, they arrive with the intent to see Queen Vicouryn again, because she is waiting for them, and they want to see her so,  _ so  _ much. They haven’t seen her since they gave her a glass flower, and it has been too long, and they wonder how much she still wants to see them. A part of them is worried her interest has waned, but a newer, stronger part of them wants to trust that everything she said was and still is true. She offered them a place in Mevaden, she offered them companionship, she offered them  _ happiness _ .

Weiren adjusts the scarf at their neck, though there is nothing they are trying to hide anymore, and finds comfort looking down at the familiar dark red of the fabric. Though there is still a small pit of anxiety deep within them, they find themself hopeful and anticipating seeing her even more. They’re stronger now, more confident, and wiser. They’re still a Waywatcher, a sworn knight of Doluum, and a member of the Crystal Concord.

And hopefully, they’re still hers.

“Excuse me,” a gruff voice calls, “Waywatcher Weiren. The queen has received your message and requested your presence.”

Weiren sits up from the bench in the foyer of the Hall of Integrity as the royal guard addresses them, emotions beginning to thrum in their chest. 

“Oh, I see. Thank you,” they answer, standing.

“Please, follow me,” the guard says, gesturing for them to come, and they do, returning their shield to their back and grabbing their bags. They traveled in armor, and didn’t have an opportunity to change into normal clothes. Sure, perhaps they could have used the Waywatcher’s Hall, but they’re hoping that the queen might give them another guest room in the manor castle again, like before.

The journey to the manor is not too long, but the sights of Mevaden are familiar in a strange way. Back then there was a beast prowling the city, an undead mist enveloping the streets, but now, everything seems to be back to normal. People go about their business, though it is late enough that most are inside, leaving the streets mostly empty. They pass by the Fireside Flower, and remember fondly the brief time they spent there, even if it was overwhelmingly fancy.

The guard leads them past, and it is only some more minutes before they’re climbing the steps to the manor castle. Every breath they take releases more butterflies into their chest, a nervous energy filling them at the prospect of seeing her again. They feel like they might just break into a run at the sight of her, like they might just fling their arms around her neck and kiss her hello, but certainly it won’t happen like that.

Nahlia greets them at the door, and it is a welcome surprise to see her, too. She looks healthy and good.

“Nahlia, hello!” Weiren says with a warm smile, and the woman gives them a nod and a small, reserved smile of her own.

“It is good to see you, Weiren,” she returns, and gestures at the guard, who nods and departs.

“How are you doing?” They ask, following as now the queen’s most trusted attendant leads them down a familiar path, most likely to the audience chamber? Probably.

“I am doing well, and so is her majesty. In some ways work has calmed down, what with the war being over, but as always there are other matters to attend to,” Nahlia answers, and she glances back at them when she refers to the queen, as if knowing that they’re dying to meet her again and want to know that she’s safe and well. A soft blush darkens their cheek at that. “And you?”

“I’ve been doing alright,” Weiren says, scratching the back of their head, “This was the first time in a few years I traveled alone, though.”

“I am sure your nights of solitude will be coming to an end,” Nahlia says slyly, “Her majesty will be pleased to see you.”

Weiren feels their heart come alight at that as their blush darkens, both a little embarrassed by her comment and glad to hear that Vicouryn still values them somewhat. If anyone is to know what she may be feeling, it is Nahlia, and it strengthens their hope that the queen will be happy upon reuniting once more. Talking with Nahlia is nice because both of them know that they both treasure Vicouryn so much, though they don’t know how much she knows about what went on in Gedal.

“I, as well,” they say back, expression softening.

“You look quite different, too,” Nahlia continues, “Even more well-traveled and stronger than before.”

“A  _ lot  _ has happened,” Weiren sighs, glancing down at themself, “I hope I’ve become stronger.”

“I’m sure you have,” Nahlia says, firmly, and Weiren can see that they’re approaching their destination. “Right this way.” She gestures with a hand towards the large doors flanked by two guards that lead into the audience chamber.

Oh, gods. Here goes. 

Weiren steps past Nahlia, steeling themself and schooling their face as best they can, and they pass through the doors.

The room is just as they remember, with the dark red carpet leading from the entrance directly to the throne on a slightly raised platform, directly to a pale elven woman who sits regally before them.

Every part of Weiren wants to take the moment to just  _ look  _ at her, but they shake that off and continue to walk, their breaths coming a little faster as they get a bit closer. She looks practically unchanged, still in her elegant black garb and still with her straight black hair, still with a stoic expression and a very queenly demeanor about her. She doesn’t look hurt in any way, and she is doing just fine. Relief flows through them; she is  _ alright _ .

The paladin comes to a stop and bows low, breathing to calm their nerves. Despite bending in such a way they try to keep their eyes on her, taking in her sight because they want to keep seeing her, it’s been so  _ long _ .

“Your majesty,” they say, unable to call her by her name while surrounded by the guards and attendants in the room, but they at least can follow proper etiquette.

When they rise from their bow, her eyes lock with theirs, as dark and mysterious as they always are, and they feel their knees get a little weak, but they stand strong. A soft smile plays on their lips at her gaze, and relief courses through their body. They almost feel the beginning of tears of joy welling, but they quickly force them away, wanting to act properly until they finally have time with her alone.

“Welcome back,” Queen Vicouryn says, in her low and steady voice, “Waywatcher Weiren.”

There’s a pause as she looks them up and down, and they wonder what she thinks of them now, after all the time that’s passed. Is she impressed? Is she disappointed? They think they might see the corner of her mouth rise.

“You have done well serving Doluum,” she continues, “Mevaden thanks you for your service, especially for the role you played in ending the war alongside the other members of the Crystal Concord. You have exceeded our expectations and accomplished many valuable goals, and thus you are an honored guest of my city.”

“Thank you, my queen,” Weiren answers with a half-second delay, gazing up at her, longing to come closer, but unable to just yet.

“You are well-deserving of a break, and thus I hope you enjoy your time in Mevaden. You may stay within the manor castle if you so desire; otherwise, you may find lodging wherever else you wish.” Vicouryn folds her hands in her laps as she says this, fixing them with a stare. Weiren feels another spark of excitement- they  _ can  _ stay in the manor again!

“You are very generous, your majesty, thank you,” they say.

“Speak with Nahlia if you need anything else. Otherwise, you are free to go,” Queen Vicouryn finishes, raising a hand to dismiss them. Weiren bows again, and turns to leave, wondering how exactly they’ll be seeing her again. They glance back once as they go, and there’s a second where they lock eyes with her again, and they can see the briefest hint of a smile on her lips.

Nahlia begins to escort them again as they step back through the doors.

“A room has already been prepared for you,” she informs, taking them up some stairs, which is a bit surprising since last time, their rooms were on the first floor. Even more surprising is that they actually climb yet  _ another  _ set of stairs, bringing them to the third floor. “Furthermore, the queen has invited you to a private dinner. Once you have placed your things, I will escort you there.”

Oh! A private dinner? Weiren hasn’t eaten yet; they were too nervous, so that sounds wonderful. 

Nahlia takes them down the halls of the third floor until they arrive at a fine wooden door, though Weiren notices that there’s barely any guards up here. The doors have been more widely spaced up here compared to the lower floors, mostly likely to accomodate for bigger rooms. She opens it, and Weiren’s mouth drops, because they’re faced with what  _ must  _ be a fancy suite or something, and the room is  _ massive _ , far larger than the guest rooms they’d stayed in before. Across the door in the central area is a fireplace and some armchairs, and of course there’s also a chaise lounge, because all high-class places have those, apparently. To the right there’s a large, four-poster bed, maybe queen-sized, and on the wall adjacent to it there’s a balcony, though the doors are closed and curtains partially drawn. There’s a single cushioned chair by the balcony door, and to their surprise there’s a very polished and fancy lyre resting on its seat. 

Across the bed sits a large wooden wardrobe, though Weiren is pretty certain they would only need a single drawer to store the number of clothes they own. There’s even an armor stand, a mirror,  _ and  _ a folding screen in that corner, too. They glance then to the left and find a small study, with a solid, carved wooden desk facing the central room and an unlit, fresh candle resting on its surface. Bookshelves line the wall behind it, nearly bursting with how many books fill the shelves. Lastly, there’s yet another door, and Weiren assumes it must be a private washroom.

Even more surprising is that the color palette is a little warmer than the dark and muted tones they’ve come to expect from Mevaden, and there’s some reds, greens, yellows and browns all across the room alongside the blacks and grays.

“It’s so big,” they finally say, eyes wide as they gawk at the room. It’s about on par with the Fireside Flower, except it’s literally just for  _ them _ .

“Only the most well-respected guests stay here,” Nahlia says from behind, “Now, please get ready; there are some clothes in the wardrobe if needed. I will be outside, and I’m sure we don’t want to make her majesty wait.”

The attendant sends them another knowing smile as she exits, and shuts the door.

Weiren lets out a breath, shaking their head in wonder. This is… crazy. She really gave them  _ this?  _ The room feels like it’s somehow been tailored to a few of their tastes, excepting just how high-class it is.

They don’t know how to feel. It all seems... so excessive. By now they’re more used to finery and whatnot but it’s  _ so  _ much! They do briefly recall her talking about how she could give them everything they ever wanted… And she remembered that they mentioned playing the lyre, even if they aren’t so good at it. 

The paladin gingerly but quickly begins to remove their armor, not wanting to walk across the carpeted floor with their armored boots, and carries the pieces over to the armor stand to hang them up. Opening the wardrobe reveals just a couple sets of clothes hanging up, both in the Mevaden style that they remember, though one has green accents, and the other has gold. Weiren blinks, not expecting them to come in the colors they normally wear, but it’s a nice surprise, and they pull on the black, gray and gold set. Unfortunately it’s a little tight in the shoulders and doesn’t fit perfectly, but it fits  _ enough  _ and that’s about what matters. They have gotten a bit broader at the top since before…

Weiren leaves their previous clothes and bags in the wardrobe for now, pulls on a pair of fine boots, and stands in front of the mirror. It’s been awhile since they wore clothes like this, though they retrieve the scarf and replace it around their neck. Then, remembering something else, they pull their hair free of the loose tie, letting it all down, because she liked it that way last time.

Finally, they’re ready.

They head for the door, and Nahlia is waiting outside as she said she would be, and she begins to lead them away again. They head through more dark halls, still staying on this floor which seems to be restricted entirely to the trusted attendants, while they make small talk, Nahlia informing them of some of the going-ons of Mevaden, and Weiren telling her about their journey, though they’re a bit distracted by the prospect of being just moments away from being with Vicouryn again.

After a minute, Nahlia stops at another door, pushing it open to reveal a small but fine private dining room, though no one is inside yet.

“Here we are,” she says, dipping her head, “Go on in.” 

Her eyes flick back up to them for a moment.

“Thank you for all you have done for my queen,” she adds in a serious tone.

Weiren blinks at that, not expecting the sentiment.

“Of-of course,” they answer after a second, “Though it’s really her who has done a lot for me.”

There’s a little twinkle in Nahlia’s eye.

“I am glad for you both,” she says, a small smile on her lips, and the way she phrases it throws Weiren off, like she’s implying the two are together and in love, which perhaps they may have an abundance of affection for her, and maybe they’ve done some intimate things, but to Vicouryn they are simply a personal companion, not a lover. Or perhaps they  _ can  _ be a lover, if they really do more things, but they wouldn’t be her love, per se.

“Thank you…” they finally end up saying, and she nods, gesturing for them to enter.

In the room, there’s a long table, to seat perhaps up to six or eight, with cutlery laid out for only two seats that sit across from each other over the shorter distance, not at the heads of the table. Weiren looks around nervously, having thought that the queen would already have been there, and sits down on the far side so that the door is in their view. Apparently it seems as if a dinner date is not so crazy of an idea after all, but does Vicouryn really want to eat normal food? They have seen her eat before, back at the Banquet of the Full Moon, but not much. 

That’s the thought on their mind when the door opens again, and they look up immediately, heart leaping in their chest. 

All of a sudden she is there, and Weiren’s practically frozen as they take in the sight of her.

She’s framed in the doorway for just a moment, lights from the torches in the hall giving her a warm glow around her silhouette. Weiren recognizes the dress she’s wearing as one of the simpler, more comfortable gowns she’s worn to their prior meetings. Their eyes move up just a little more, and they find her dark gaze on them in a comforting way that their previously fought-off tears might well up again. 

Their words are gone for a bit, but they find them as she closes the door behind her.

“Vicouryn,” they say, that’s all they can say right now, breaths of adrenaline and relief falling from them as they look at her, joy filling their heart to the brim.

“Weiren,” she returns, and  _ gods  _ it sounds so wonderful when she speaks their name like this, “You’ve returned.” 

They feel themself rising from their chair as she approaches the table, but she holds out her hand, halting them in their motion, and they look at her in confusion.

“Let us talk, first,” she says, a small crease forming at her brow, like perhaps she’s unhappy that she’s saying that, but Weiren swallows their questions and sits back down, instead nodding once.

Vicouryn then takes her seat across from them, but for some reason she’s averting her gaze more than normal, folding her hands as she looks down at the table. She’s one who said to talk, but a strange silence falls over them.

Weiren feels the pit of anxiety grow at this. All their imagined scenes of running into each other’s arms or kissing greetings to each other feel so foolish all of a sudden. Maybe this dinner isn’t to reconvene and spend time together. Maybe it’s for her to break bad news, to tell them that perhaps she’s found someone else while they were gone, or that she’s lost her interest in them, or that there’s no way a queen could ever have anything to do with a mere knight.

No, no, they  _ know  _ it’s just their feelings spiralling out of control.

They make up their mind to speak next and then both of them are saying something at the same time, and both immediately stop.

Weiren blinks in surprise, and Vicouryn presses her lips together, casting her narrowed eyes downward again.

Of all the things they expected they didn’t think it would be…  _ awkward _ .

They didn’t even know Vicouryn _could_ be awkward.

The moment is interrupted by the door opening again, and Nahlia enters with a tray. Elegantly and quietly she comes to Weiren’s side and sets a plate and a cup down in front of them. Despite the strangeness in the atmosphere, Nahlia works efficiently, and then she bows her head and leaves.

Now the only one with food, Weiren feels even  _ more  _ awkward.

“Go ahead,” Vicouryn says quietly, “eat.”

The paladin looks from her and then down at the plate to see a very high-class looking meal, with a large cut of meat, roasted and seasoned vegetables, a small bowl of sliced fruit, and a roll of bread. It looks very delicious, but they can’t pay it much mind at the moment.

“Um, alright,” they say back, reaching tentatively for the fork and knife, “What… what did you want to talk about?” 

The queen finally lifts her gaze again to match theirs.

“I see you kept it all this time,” she says, her eyes lowering to their scarf.

“Of course I did,” Weiren returns, as if it’s obvious, “always.”

There’s another brief pause and a strange, wistful expression forms on her face.

“Weiren,” she says, slowly, “tell me, have your feelings towards me changed?”

What?

“No,” they answer, shaking their head. They’ve thought about her for so long while apart. Even now they long to touch, wanting to reach and put their hand on hers. They bite their lip for a moment. “What about you?”

Another pause, and then, “No.”

“Do you… still want me?” Weiren asks, brows furrowing in concern, because her strange behavior is throwing them off so much, and they’re not sure if the words she’s saying are what she means.

“Weiren,” she says again, breathing out through her nose in frustration, “I  _ do _ . But I cannot help but wonder if  _ I  _ am what you really want.”

Comprehension dawns on Weiren in a weird way. Does she still think that they’re better suited to finding another person?

“You are,” they say back, their voice taking on a strange tone as they try to hold back negative emotion. What if she is saying this to more politely push them away? But that makes no sense, she has offered them a place to stay.

“I am a queen,” she says, still speaking so slowly, and Weiren for a moment is hit with the terrible thought that she’s finally realized how much farther below her they are, that however either of them feel, nothing will work out and nothing is possible because the gap between them is just that wide.

“Oh,” they simply say in response, utensils lowering back to the table, and this time the tears they held back are rushing back with a vengeance, but these aren’t ones of joy. Quickly they raise a hand to block part of their face from her. If they are to return to just paladin and queen, then they shouldn’t be baring any emotion or anything, to her.

How does this happen so frequently?

“Weiren, no- I-,” the queen’s voice says, “That is  _ not  _ what I meant, I-”

There’s another sharp breath, and beyond their newly roiling emotions they realize they’ve never heard her fall over her words before.

A cold touch presses on the back of the hand they’d left on the table, fingers curling gently around theirs.

“I don’t- I don’t understand,” Weiren manages to say through a lump in their throat, still concealing their face.

“Weiren, please listen,” Vicouryn repeats their name, “I mean that because of my status, anything between us will have to remain secret. Whatever relationship you find with me will be incredibly restricted. If… if you truly come to care for me as much as you have said you might, I fear that you are wasting it on someone who cannot properly reciprocate that sentiment.”

Weiren reaches for the napkin numbly, briefly exposing their face though they keep looking down, and presses it to their eyes as they listen. The cold thumb resting on the back of their hand begins to trace small circles in a soothing manner.

“I imagine in a proper relationship, the parties involved care for each other in the same way, and can cherish the other openly,” the queen continues, “They can go to places together, travel together, share new experiences together. They may even become bonded through ceremony, or have a family together. Are those not things you desire in a relationship?”

So their initial assessment is correct. She still feels that perhaps they can find someone else.

“I don’t mind,” they say, barely a whisper, “I don’t  _ need  _ those things.”

Really they just want her to hold them again.

“For as long as I reign as Queen of Mevaden, if you continue to choose me, you will be unable to have any of that,” Vicouryn says, a solemn tone to her voice, “Someone with a heart as big as yours deserves to truly experience…  _ love _ … properly.” It’s as if she can barely handle saying the word.

The shaking of their shoulders has slowed, and the tears seem to be coming to a stop.

“I want it to be you,” Weiren says, letting their hand fall from their face, breathing deeply and quickly as they calm themself, “I told you so many times before; you mean… a  _ lot  _ to me. I already knew that things would have to be secret. I already knew what I was getting into.”

“I merely wanted to make sure,” she returns, holding their emotional gaze, “You are… valuable to me as well, and I do not want to hold you back from experiencing happiness.”

“I’m happy when I’m with you,” Weiren responds, “Vicouryn. I’m already yours.”

The queen lets out a deep sigh, a tension falling from her shoulders.

“Except for when you keep making me cry,” they add with a sniff, wiping at their nose with the napkin, “it’s the fourth time.”

Vicouryn opens her mouth to reply, but no words come as she stares, and then she closes it, and then she opens it again, and then she closes it once more, and the sight of a speechless Vicouryn is so ridiculous that Weiren can’t help but start laughing through their remaining tears.

When their chuckles slow, the queen is wearing an indignant expression, her face turned away, and there’s a faint reddish tinge to the tips of her ears.

“I am sorry,” she says, “It was not my intent to bring you to tears.”

“It’s fine,” Weiren returns, “I jumped to conclusions before you finished talking.”

“It  _ was  _ an unfortunately-timed pause on my part,” Vicouryn admits, shaking her head, and when she looks back at them, they both laugh again. 

Despite all the fun emotional turmoil they just went through, they have to say they are delighted to hear Vicouryn laugh in such a way. They’re really only accustomed to her dark chuckles when she’s doing things to them, and hearing her express genuine mirth feels like they’ve just found a treasure.

There’s another unfortunately-timed occurrence as Weiren’s still-empty stomach grumbles, and they look down in embarrassment, and the queen laughs yet again, a smile on her face.

“Come now,” she says, letting go of their hand, “eat. It was specially made, after all.”

The paladin picks up the utensils again, and finally begins to cut into the meat.

“I missed you so much,” they say quietly, eyes trained on their plate, “I’ve wanted to return ever since I left Gedal.”

“Life was indeed duller without your company,” Vicouryn returns, “It is good to see you again. You’ve changed quite a bit.”

“Hopefully in a good way.” Weiren takes the first bite, and their hunger grows to ravenousness. It’s incredibly delicious.

“A  _ very _ good way,” Vicouryn says, watching, “Somehow you’ve grown even more appealing.”

She says this but Weiren doesn’t think them in an ill-fitting suit and a fork partly in their mouth is the most appealing picture.

“I try,” they banter playfully, and the queen looks at them like she isn’t expecting that response, but she smiles again, though it falls away a few seconds later, her eyes becoming more serious.

“Then,” she says, “even if I cannot give you everything you may desire, even if I cannot reciprocate your feelings, you still choose me?”

It’s strange how familiar this feels, but reversed, from their last night together, where Weiren was so worried that them even having feelings might destroy this thing they have with her. Now Vicouryn is the one asking, not for having feelings but for being unable to reciprocate theirs, if they still want her. Even if she does not love them, she does care for them.

“I do,” Weiren affirms, “You’ve already accepted me, even the parts I don’t like, and I accept all of you too. I want to be yours, if you’ll have me.”

Another controlled and slow sigh falls from her lips as her expression softens.

“I will, as long as you desire,” she returns firmly, “Though there are some things I cannot give you, there are many other things I  _ can _ , and you will be given much.”

“I’m all yours,” they say, satisfied with the proper agreement that they’ve come to.

“Good.”

Vicouryn leans back in her chair, pleased with this resolution. It seems as if even she did not like discussing the possibility of Weiren finding someone else, and though it briefly hurt, they think it was very thoughtful of her to consider what she did, that she considered their happiness regardless of her own desires. It’s interesting how much trouble she had properly broaching the subject. 

“Tell me how you feel about your quarters,” the queen says next, “Is it to your liking?”

“Well… it’s very big,” they say at first, sipping some water, “Really uh… nice? Normally I stay in rooms a quarter of that size.” Though, even a quarter is pretty generous for what they’re accustomed to.

“I wanted to make sure that you would be comfortable,” Vicouryn's returns, “It is only befitting for one who has accomplished what you have.” Her eyes lower from their face. “How are the clothes? Do they fit?”

Weiren glances down at the fine jacket, where the fabric strains just a bit across their shoulders.

“Mostly,” they say, “It fits alright.”

“You do not have to settle with mostly,” Vicouryn says with a small smile, “I will have my tailor visit you tomorrow and have them altered, and you will also be given a new wardrobe.”

Weiren's eyes widen.

“Are you sure? That seems… excessive…”

“I recall you being interested in me dressing you to my tastes,” she returns, matching their gaze with a small smirk, “If you still are, then  _ allow  _ me to do so.”

“O-oh,” Weiren says, remembering that comment from so long ago, a blush coming to warm their face, “It does still sound fun. I’m just not used to being… provided so much.”

“I have not had much of a chance to provide for anyone in particular this way, but in exchange for choosing me, it is the least I can do.” Vicouryn watches them as she says this, stoic and seriously. 

Weiren draws their brows together, thinking over this. How much luxury will they be showered with? At least in Mevaden it’s a bit more tolerable than the other two cities of Doluum, both with their incredibly high ceilings, infinite columns and tall towers. The manor castle here, though very nice, is more akin to a very large house, which is definitely more comfortable for Weiren.

“I know you have your misgivings with things of higher-class, but I would very much  _ love  _ to give you the things you deserve. You have done much for Doluum, Mevaden, and for me, personally, and so I would like to express my gratitude in this way,” she continues, still completely serious.

Weiren exhales.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt… for a bit,” they finally say, weighing the proposition in their head. It would be nice after all the life-risking and fighting they’ve had to do.

“Wonderful,” Vicouryn says, her smile returning, and they wonder how many other people have gotten to see her smile as much as they have. “If there is anything you desire, you need only ask.”

“I just want to spend time with you after this,” Weiren returns quickly, and that’s really their number one desire, “If you want, that is.”

There’s a certain glint that appears in her eyes.

“Of course,” she says, “I do. When we are finished here, let us return to your chambers. We have over a year to make up for, after all.”

Weiren’s shoulders sink in relief again, and a different spark of excitement alights inside them as they continue to eat.

After finishing the meal, they make sure to take a minute to rinse their mouth properly and clean their teeth, in anticipation of sharing a kiss with the queen.

***

There’s a knowing tension when the two of them exit the dining room to head back to Weiren’s new chambers, and the door has barely closed behind them when the queen is upon them, pressing them against it with her body and her mouth.

Gods, yes, this is what they were waiting for.

“It’s been a long time,” Vicouryn says after the first forceful kiss, “I intend to reclaim what is rightfully mine.”

“Go ahead,” Weiren returns, heart rate beginning to rise, “Take me.”

“I  _ will _ .” Vicouryn finds their hands and grabs their wrists, holding them to the door as she goes in for another kiss, opening her mouth almost immediately and Weiren does so as well. Oh gods, it’s been so  _ long _ . Neither of them appear to have any patience after having waited for so much, and Vicouryn forces their thighs apart with an insistent knee, bracing it against the door. 

Weiren gasps at the assertive motion, and Vicouryn takes the opportunity to grab the scarf and pull it loose to expose Weiren’s neck. 

Now on this task, her hands forsake pinning them down for the moment to start undoing some of the buttons on their new clothes, her knee still very firmly  _ there  _ and against them.

“How far are you comfortable with going?” Vicouryn asks, opening up the jacket and vest.

“All the way,” Weiren returns breathily, “As far as you want.”

“ _ Delightful _ ,” she says, pulling open the top of their undershirt, and she leans to kiss at their neck while forcing her knee higher still, until it’s pressing up into them and they let out a high sound. Weiren’s had more than enough time to think about this in their time apart, and they want more than anything to give Vicouryn all of them, in every intimate way.

Vicouryn smiles against their skin as they react, and she returns her hands to touching them; even though the clothes are obstructing her path, but how worth it is it to take the time to fully remove them when she could be using her hands for better things?

“It’s faded, but it’s still there,” she says, pausing in her motions, and Weiren realizes she’s talking about the bite scar. It’s one of their favorite ones.

“All the other marks are gone, though,” Weiren returns, “You’ll need to—ah!—replace them.”

Vicouryn nips at the skin as they talk.

“With pleasure,” she says darkly, “But now that we are no longer in a rush, I can take my time with them. I’ll give you one for now, a welcome gift.”

“Yes, please,” Weiren returns.

And she does, finding a soft patch of skin and sealing her mouth around it, marking them efficiently as they hang on to her, happy to receive it. It feels wonderful and familiar and they wish she would give them more.

Now properly marked, Weiren’s own hands find purchase on her back, fingers dragging through fabric as Vicouryn shifts her knee to press more firmly against them, sending flares of heat through their body, and then there’s another cold touch at the front of their pelvis, and Weiren lets out another sound as she palms them, provoking a very visible reaction as they harden beneath her touch.

“Oh,” she says, briefly surprised, “You have the blessing.”

Oh  _ gods _ , right, they completely forgot they’d been different the last time she touched them there. They’re so used to switching every so often that they forgot so many other people can’t. They guess, like their hair coloration, it’s one of the only beneficial things their absent father passed on to them: the power to shape parts of their body in order to shift their gender expression and appearance. Considering that Weiren doesn’t identify with any particular gender, like many other elves, it is quite the blessing indeed.

“Is that… okay?” they ask between breaths, a little nervous.

“Of course,” she returns, “It only means I have  _ more  _ ways to touch you.”

Somehow she knows exactly the right thing to say, and they laugh as she presses another cold kiss to their hot skin before whispering in their ear.

“I will warn you that I  _ am  _ feeling a little impatient. Normally I’d take the time to prepare to claim  _ you  _ from within, but it seems tonight it may be easier if I take you in another way.” Her breath gusts across their sensitive ear as she says that, and the hand on their core gives them a deliberate squeeze, prompting Weiren to curl against her and press their head into her shoulder.

“Sure,” they say, gasping as her other hand slides under their hair to rest on the back of their neck, holding them against her for the moment and chilling their rising warmth. Her words send even more heat to them, and their brain conjures images of any and all scenarios, Vicouryn reaching inside of them, Vicouryn taking them inside her, Vicouryn doing anything and everything she ever wanted to them.

“Prepare yourself,” she whispers next, and then she reaches and grips their thighs, hoisting their bulk up with her supernatural vampiric strength. 

“Ah!” Weiren exclaims, unexpecting of that movement as their sense of balance is thrown off. Not sure what else to do with them and in an effort to remain upright, Weiren’s legs wrap around her hips, all while the blood flows up to their face and down to their center. Now they are braced entirely by her hold and the door behind them, relying on her arms to keep them from falling. Their face flushes harder, hanging onto her shoulders like this, and she looks up to smirk at them. It must look so silly from an outside perspective, considering how much more slender Vicouryn is compared to them, but she is a vampire, and their weight seems to pose no struggle to her.

“Hang on,” she says playfully, and her hands slide from the underside of their thighs to grip their ass, and Weiren gasps again, reaffirming their own hold on her and clamping their legs tightly. Vicouryn then leans her weight back just a bit, taking steps until they can no longer feel the wooden door against them, and she quite literally carries them over to the bed, pitching forward to gently toss Weiren down onto their back, still with their legs around her as she climbs onto the bed and over them.

“That was fun,” Weiren breathes, looking up at her, “You’re so strong.”

“I am,” she says, pleased, “Perhaps I should do that more often.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” the paladin returns, smiling playfully.

“I know.” With that, Vicouryn leans down to kiss them again, and her cool lips are so soft, pressed against their hot ones, and she easily takes charge to slide her tongue into their mouth aggressively. Weiren reciprocates, though they’re a bit out of practice, but they fall into the familiar rhythm after only a little bit, Vicouryn coaxing them back into their dance, and they love her for it. Their hands find her waist and climb up to her back, holding her close, and Vicouryn pulls away from their mouth, wet lips briefly connected by a thin line that breaks with distance.

Now with both of them breathing hard, she shifts backward. Weiren takes this opportunity to sit up and hastily pull off their outer layers, at the very least, because they’re so damn constricting. The jacket and vest are both flung to the side, and Vicouryn’s suddenly got her hands at their waist, at the fastenings of their pants, when she pauses, her hands halting in the motion.

“Weiren, are you certain you wish to proceed?” She asks, fingertips resting on their leg. They can see the concern in her face, and let out a breath they hadn't realized they were holding.

“I do. It’s just… like everything else, it’ll be the first time,” they admit, though she must already know, as she’s the only one who’s ever touched them, period. They did not do anything with anyone else in their time apart. As always, they hadn’t had time, nor had anyone really shown that kind of interest in them.

“I will take good care of you,” Vicouryn reassures, “But if you are ever uncomfortable or wish to stop, tell me, and we will not go any farther.”

“I will,” they breathe, “I trust you.”

A cold hand brushes the side of their face, and she kisses them again, this time more softly, a response to their claim.

“And I, you. Then, I shall undress you further.”

With that, she sends them one more look and they nod in return, and at a slower pace she undoes the fastenings of their trousers. They straighten their legs to help, and she hooks her fingers around the hem and tugs, dragging the cloth off of them, leaving them in their last layer. She sets them on the side, and then again her hands return to carefully remove the thin shorts, baring their length to the air. They suck in a breath and stare down at the sheets, unsure of what she thinks of this. Her hand shifts up to lift their chin, making them meet her stoic gaze.

“As appealing as always, Weiren. Now, I will disrobe as well.”

Vicouryn reaches for the bottom hem of her dress and raises it up over her head in a fell, elegant swoop, and Weiren’s breath catches in their throat because she’s never exposed herself before, and suddenly they’re seeing so much more pale skin. The silky black fabric falls into a pile beside her, and Weiren stares at this intimate display of trust she’s just given them. Underneath the dress she wears black undergarments: a chemise with a lacy trim around the top that falls past her hips and tighter-fitting shorts that reach her mid-thighs. The neckline of the chemise is low enough that Weiren can see where she would have been scarred by a vampire-slaying arrow, but the skin is smooth and undamaged, and it’s as if she was never hurt in the first place.

Thank the gods.

“You’re…” they say, trying to find the words, “so ethereal.”

“Ethereal,” she repeats, looking down at herself, “An interesting descriptor.”

Weiren wonders if she’s thinking about how she’s a vampire, or what she has frequently called an ‘undead monster.’ They wonder how much criticism she holds for her nature, something she can’t even control despite needing to maintain such a thing over so much else.

“I feel like I could never get tired of looking at you,” they append, sighing softly as she meets their gaze, and for a moment they think they see a flicker of what could be embarrassment, but it’s gone so quickly that they’re not even sure if they even really saw it.

“You’ll be seeing me quite a lot,” she returns, “so that is good.”

Then she’s pulling her own undergarments off, somehow still in an elegant fashion, cloth coming down her long legs until they’re fully off, though her top remains. While she does this Weiren hurries to finish disrobing as well, exposing their body entirely by unbuttoning their shirt completely. Knowing from past experiences, they feel as if they should try to be more exposed than she is in general, for her own comfort, as she has been so considerate about theirs. 

Now entirely nude, Weiren feels their heart beat faster, and knowing Vicouryn will be doing things to them only serves to increase their anticipation. The queen stands from the bed, just for a moment, and pulling open a drawer on the nightstand she retrieves a small jar, and Weiren realizes what it must be, their cheeks burning harder.

“Come, sit,” she says, taking her place back on the bed, gesturing for them to come closer. “As you are new to intimacy of this level, we will go very slow. I want to focus on your experience, your comfort, and your pleasure. Do not worry about me, we will work up to that over time.”

“Are you sure?” Weiren asks as they shuffle towards her, “You deserve to feel good just as much as I do. We can start slow on that, but I’d like to do this for you, too.”

“I want to make sure you are not feeling pressured, obligated, or overwhelmed in any way,” Vicouryn returns, and Weiren’s heart feels like it grows. Still as considerate as she was before.

“I appreciate that,” Weiren says, now close enough, “and I’m not. I want to be here with you, and I want you to be happy, too.”

She considers them, and then nods. One hand she places on their shoulder, and the other takes one of their hand in hers.

“Then the first step is preparation,” she says, locking eyes for a moment, “If I am to take you, that is.” 

Weiren nods back, understanding, and the queen turns their hand and guides it closer to her, until she’s pressed their palm against her own core, and a breath of anticipation slips out of them at the contact. The anatomy is familiar, as they have had it before, too, but like the rest of her, it is cool against them. The paladin wraps their other arm around her shoulders and they lean in to kiss at her neck as they begin to explore her, fingers running from back to front. Vicouryn lets her hand fall from theirs, and she simply puts her arms around them, dips her head onto their shoulder and falls quiet. Though not as adept at multitasking, Weiren tries to give her attention in two different spots, kissing across her collarbone and up her jaw as they press the slightest bit against her, finger slipping through wetness and they realize she is actually already quite aroused, though obviously that doesn’t mean they don’t still need to prepare. 

Gods. How will it feel when she is preparing them? Not to mention the fact that depending on what parts they have it’ll be different either time. Really they didn’t expect this current scenario, her allowing them to enter her, but here it is and they have the chance to give her pleasure, and certainly she deserves it. Surely when the actual intercourse happens it will be entirely under her control, anyway. Slowly, they continue to trace paths around her, only dipping inside briefly, and they end up having to stop tending to her neck in order to focus on her reactions and their hand on her properly. They try to work up from something slow and shallow, as she’s almost always done to them, stimulating her on the outside until they can feel her arms tighten around them, and then finally they’re feeling like it is time to press further. A single finger they push past her labia, sinking smoothly into cool wetness. Originally they were going to stop at just the knuckle and work up to more, but it slips so easily inside that they’ve pressed their whole finger in, and a quiet gasp escapes the queen, her breath coming against their neck.

Weiren stays with a single finger for a bit, not wanting to hurt her in any way, but the queen reacts.

“Another,” she says, voice somehow still stoic, “I am prepared for another.”

“Okay,” they return, and obediently they slip out the one, and re-enter with two. Even just touching her like this is making them react, too, blood pooling more actively down to their own sex, but they try to ignore it for now. For some time they just tentatively move the pair of fingers in and out, slowly twisting them, trying to stretch the space inside, but only a bit, still a little scared of going too far.

Vicouryn is mostly unmoving, though her breaths are no longer even. The fact she hasn’t said much hopefully means that Weiren is doing okay.

“Another?” They ask tentatively after another minute, wanting her direction before they press any further.

“ _ Yes _ ,” she says, and her voice sounds strained now, which is… good? 

Weiren adds a third, and it is also a smooth transition, their fingers only meeting the slightest resistance, meaning that Vicouryn is adequately wet and almost ready to move on, but they take the time to carefully finger her still, because they want to do well, and they want to make her happy. The resistance is gone soon, and they now work on curling their fingers as they reach deep, trying to find points that spark pleasure.

“This is enough,” Vicouryn says, pulling away and putting a cold touch on their wrist, gently pushing their hand away from her. There’s a slight red dusted across her cheeks when they see her face, though she’s still wearing an impassive expression. They wonder if perhaps they could have brought  _ her  _ to release with their hand alone, like she was able to for them, but it is not something for them to discover now. Next she pushes against their chest. “Lie down, Weiren.”

They swallow slowly and adjust themself, pulling their legs out from under them and leaning back on their elbows as Vicouryn moves to straddle them, braced on her knees and now hovering over them, back in complete control. How they’ve missed seeing her above them, seeing her look down at them when they’re beneath her.

“You did well,” she says, taking them back into her hand, and they stiffen at her cool touch, their member reacting by standing taller, and Weiren closes their eyes as the sparks of sensation flit through them. 

“I don’t- I don’t think I will last too long,” they say softly, “just so you know.”

“It is of no consequence,” she returns, stroking them leisurely and making them gasp, “the important thing is that we find our pleasure, not how long we can hold it off, and I will make sure we find yours. Are you ready?”

Weiren nods, gods it’s really happening, isn’t it?

She opens the glass container and pours a clear, viscous liquid into her hand, and then sets the jar back on the side. That same hand returns to them, and she lets the cool fluid drip onto them, prompting more gasps. After a second she takes them in hand, smearing more of the lubricant from her palm onto them, and there’s a few more strokes to adequately cover all of them, Weiren trying to hold still as best they can despite more sensation flowing through them.

Now they are both fully prepared.

Vicouryn repositions herself above them, and guides their length properly. With a terrifying amount of control, she lowers her body down, so incredibly slowly that Weiren feels like the anticipation might kill them, and when she makes contact, they bite their lip. 

They look up at her face, watching her expression as she does this, her brows drawn together in severe concentration and her mouth pressed in a straight line. They slip inside with practically no resistance at all, and the pressure around them makes them moan. There’s not that much friction thanks to all the preparation, but there certainly is the sensation of her squeezing around them, and it’s driving them crazy. Still slowly, she sinks down at a steady pace, only the slightest twitches of her expression showing any reaction, somehow still hanging onto some amount of control when accepting penetration, though Weiren is sure they’d fall apart immediately if it were them, and it  _ will  _ be them sometime in the future. Even just that thought alone intensifies the growing fire inside them.

Finally she is flush against them and they’re sheathed inside her entirely, her body pressing against all of them and the slow drag of flesh on flesh sending more flares of pleasure. Now here, there is a moment of peace.

“Oh, gods,” Weiren whispers, looking down at where their bodies meet.

“How are you doing?” She asks, concern in her eyes as she surrounds them with a cool, wet pressure, and they take a few deep breaths. 

“I’m okay,” they gasp, “It’s a lot, but it's good, it’s good.”

Vicouryn leans forward and they twitch as it pushes on their length, her hands no longer needing to brace herself and instead coming to rest on their chest. One hand is still a little wet from the lubricant, and they can feel the cool oil on them.

“Perfect,” she murmurs, letting her fingers brush across dark nipples, and they let out a sharp breath again. “You have no idea how wonderful you look like this, underneath me. I’m eager to see your face when you come undone yet again.”

“Wait,” Weiren says, suddenly worried, “But that might- inside you- I don’t know…”

She cups their face softly, tilting her head, “That is the intent, Weiren. I will take what you offer, and it will not affect me as you may be fearing. Do not worry.”

Oh, thank gods.

“Oh,” they reply, sighing in relief. 

“It is a shame that when I take you in this way, I won’t be able to give you the same thing,” she muses, “but I will make certain you enjoy it. Perhaps I’ll tie you down again—you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Weiren’s face burns as they nod. She leans lower, further adjusting them in her, to whisper in their ear.

“I can take you in so many ways,” she continues, “against a wall or on a table. I could take you from behind and bind your hands, and you’d be unable to resist as I enter you over and over.” Right, there’s the devious Vicouryn; they’ve been wondering where she went while the concerned one was being gentle with them. “Wouldn’t you want me to  _ fuck  _ you like that?”

Their eyes fly open when she drops the vulgar word, completely not expecting it in any capacity, they feel themself stiffen further inside, their need burning and building so hot inside them. How does her voice do this to them every time?”

“I imagine I would,” they say breathily, trembling, and they let their head fall back to the bed completely, becoming fully prone as they try to get used to the sensation. It seems she’s pleased with their reaction to her words. She knows how much they like to hear her describe what she plans on doing to them. Weiren wonders what she could do to them with her voice alone.

“But I’m sure  _ this _ will be good as well,” Vicouryn says, and she rolls her hips while still bent over them, and Weiren jolts, a loud moan fallling from their lips, “Even like this, I am the one taking from you, taking  _ you _ all for myself,  _ fucking  _ you because you gave yourself to me, all of you and your body.”

Gods, and it’s true, though, everything she’s saying, because they did give themself to her, because they want her and they want her to do what she wants to them, because they’re quite certain they already share whatever desires she has. They gave themself to her and they submitted to her and they want to be at the mercy of her whims forever.

With those words she continues to move, her hands braced on their body as she does so, hips rocking slowly at first while Weiren writhes underneath her, her motions sending intense wave after wave of pleasure through them. The friction is delicious and the inside of her is rubbing against every part of their sensitive length, and they want so much more. 

“Vi-Vicouryn-!” Her name comes from their mouth in a moan as she increases her speed, her chilled interior somehow cooling them in one way but heating them up in another, feeding the fire in their core.

Somehow, the queen does not make a single sound, her main reactions coming in the form of breaths, but even her calm mask is cracking in this situation. There’s no more words that come from her, only the increasing speed as she rises and falls, still rolling her hips and Weiren’s body keeps wanting to react, their own hips wanting to rock with hers, but their movements come more in jolts as the pleasure builds further, their back arching as they fist the sheets. They don’t know how much more of this they can take; they’re right on the edge.

“Vicouryn, I’m- I’m close,” they gasp weakly, warning her.

“Good,” she returns, voice slightly strained as she doesn’t stop moving, “You  _ will _ come.”

Weiren's eyes squeeze shut as they tense even further, the sparks coming stronger as their need mounts ever higher, trusting in her words and almost fearing the moment as they approach, their emotions building up in their mind. 

How is she so kind to them?

Adrenaline races through their veins and then suddenly they’re crying out brokenly as their body is racked with spasms, sensations curling through their limbs and shaking their core, something from them spilling inside Vicouryn, and just like the last two times, she does not stop, carrying them through their climax until they’ve ceased motion, tired and breathless.

They’re aware of Vicouryn leaning over them again, her hands coming to their cheeks as they breathe raggedly.

“You did wonderfully,” she says between her own breaths, and as Weiren’s thoughts return to their mind they look up at her, still straddling them and holding them inside her still, despite them rapidly softening.

“But you,” they stay, squinting, “What about you?” Gods, don’t they know how much more difficult it is to find release with a different set of parts, though Vicouryn still seemed to find no trouble in dragging climaxes from them back in Gedal.

She presses a soft kiss to their cheek.

“I can take care of it myself, Weiren,” she says, and she sounds like she’s barely concealing just how wound up she is.

“Can I help?” Weiren asks, sitting up on their elbows as they push aside fatigue. She looks down at them, considering them, as she raises herself off of them, though still maintaining her general position.

“You may touch, otherwise, then, while I do so. Sit up,” she finally says, and Weiren scoots back and obeys, giving her plenty of room still. They sit on their knees to match her height, and as she reaches down to touch herself, they come to her side and kiss at her shoulder, their hands settling on her waist. Weiren trails their mouth up the slope to her neck as lovingly as they can, and they drag one hand up her back, letting their fingernails graze her skin. Now Vicouryn is starting to flinch, no doubt she is stimulating her clitoris to finish herself off and she’s getting close, and Weiren kisses her earlobe as their hand rises to brush against her other ear, where they know she is sensitive and maybe it will help. A gasp escapes her, and Weiren lets their tongue touch the rim of her ear, licking up the bottom, and she gasps again, this time louder.

It’s when their fingers are stroking the length of her other ear and they’re humming against her neck that she tenses, her head tilting back as her body vibrates, shaking against them, though she doesn’t let out any other sound. Weiren continues to touch as she rides out her release, mimicking what she’s done.

Finally, her shoulders sink, and she leans against them, tension rolling out of her body, and Weiren supports her for the moment.

“Thank you,” she says, breaths coming deeply as she recovers.

“Of course,” the paladin returns, happy to keep holding her for however long she needs, but it is not too long before she pulls away to the edge of the bed.

From the same nightstand drawer she pulled the jar of lubricant, she grabs a cloth and tosses it to them, and then grabs another. Oh, it makes sense to have something like that ready, though Weiren’s pretty sure none of the books they’ve ever read discussed cleanup of any kind. Hold on, how much did she prepare for them to have sex? “Give me a moment to clean up, and I will be right back.”

The paladin watches her go, heading towards the other door in the room, the one they guessed must be a washroom.

Oh, Celaste Moren, what just happened?

They take the cloth she gave them and wipe themself down, sighing deeply as a smile forms on their face. She’s so wonderful…

Their eyes fall on their clothes left in a rumpled pile on the bed, and they sift through them to find their undergarments. Even if they literally just had sex they aren’t sure if they want to sleep totally naked, so they pull them back on, after making sure they’ve been cleaned up. They gaze around the room as they wait, taking in their surroundings again. She really did prepare all this for them, and she really wanted to have them.

It makes them so happy, not to mention that they’re still basking in the afterglow, feeling sleepy and satisfied. They want nothing more for Vicouryn to come back so that they can lie down with her and feel her hands running through their hair. 

The door to the washroom opens, and Vicouryn’s striding back towards them, also with the shorts of her undergarments back on. They smile again at her; just the sight of the vampire is enough to lift their spirits. She drops the used cloth into a basket at the foot of the bed, and Weiren follows suit. Finally, with all the cleanup done (excepting their discarded clothes, but who really cares?), she settles back onto the bed, and Weiren extends their arms to her affectionately as she does. The corner of her mouth quirks up at that, and she draws the comforter back and gestures for them to get under. Weiren shuffles underneath obediently as she slides in beside them, and now, finally for real, they’re able to fall into her arms. Their head rests familiarly on her shoulder as she surrounds them, wrapping them up in her cool embrace.

“Thank you,” Weiren whispers, their eyes closing.

“Of course,” she says, chest vibrating as she speaks, “How are you feeling?”

“Amazing,” Weiren answers, heart full and content, “It was wonderful. You’re wonderful.”

“Hm,” she hums, “I am glad. Nothing went beyond your comfort?”

“Nope.” Weiren snuggles in a little closer, tangling a leg with hers. “Excited for next time, though. You should take a bite when the time comes.”

The queen tosses her head back and laughs, and Weiren smiles more as her throat thrums with it.

“I will,” she says, and her arms squeeze them a bit tighter, “for you.”

“I missed you so much… I love you,” they say, and then freeze as Vicouryn stiffens. It just kind of fell out without thinking, shit. “Oh, gods, sorry, I won’t say it if you don’t want to hear-”

“No, you may say it,” she cuts in, breathing through her nose, “I have accepted those feelings of yours, after all.”

A gentle hand begins to card gently down their hair as they fall silent.

Weiren knows it’s not something she can say back, but they’ve accepted that, too.

So instead the two of them stay entwined in the dark, and there’s a quickening heartbeat thrumming through their bodies, and Weiren’s sure it must be them, because it can’t be her.


	2. Sentimental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicouryn wonders what to do with this paladin of hers, and Weiren finds a few interesting surprises in their new bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooga fucking booga  
> ive written more and now im more ahead so i may swap to dual uploads per week again! very exciting  
> anyway this chapters includes: some emotions, kissing, making out, some nonsexual intimacy and hints at future sexual intimacy
> 
> the next chapter will be. 15k words of copious sex. hopefully posted on monday :)

Vicouryn is quiet as the minutes tick on; she’s restless.

Despite what occurred she is quite easily awake, as the night is  _ her  _ time. And yet she is sitting here instead, in the bed of the guest room she prepared for Weiren, holding the love stricken paladin in her arms. They’ve entered their trance for now, like they have so many times in her presence, and she merely continues to hold them as her thoughts race in an unseemly manner.

Vicouryn, despite her time, is a stranger to this kind of love. Certainly she is no stranger to physical intimacy; she has enough experience in that manner. 

But the fairytale stories of beating hearts and tender confessions are so unfamiliar. Unrealistic. The love she expects is the love of her people as she reigns as Queen, not the genuine romantic affection of a paladin that seems to have fallen so head over heels for her that they are content to love without reciprocation. How do they continue to give so much without ever asking for things in return? She feels like she’s taken so damn much from them, and still they want her to take more. After ending a war, the one they chose to return to was not any friend or family or someone from their history, but  _ her _ . She gave them one more chance to find a more balanced love with someone, anyone else, but they rejected it.

Do they even have anyone else that they could have returned to?

She recalls the information they’ve shared with her before. Coming from poverty with no family, and finding purpose in a temple of a deity, they didn’t really tell her about any individual person other than the priest who wronged them.

The queen looks down at the peaceful face of a generous and affectionate Weiren.

How possible is it, she wonders, that they actually truly do not have anyone else they can really return to? How possible is it that she is the only one who has gotten close enough to give them someplace where they can feel at home? Certainly they have the rest of the Crystal Concord, but she knows that all of them have their own obligations. The scion is a ruler of Ashana, no doubt he is busy with his people. The other paladin is from an order, and not just the Order of Integrity but a holy order, and he has duties there. The bard, Lynne, well, Vicouryn doesn’t know that much. She’s not a leader or a part of any organization, but certainly a performer must have friends, family, admirers.

So it seems quite likely, actually, that the paladin in her arms was left adrift after the war, chased from their temple and home with no family or friends, their purpose being based in battle and politics for the last few years until it was over, and the Crystal Concord could take a break.

And a break meant that they would part ways for a time as they each focused on themselves and their own relationships, leaving Weiren with… nothing.

Vicouryn’s suddenly overcome with a fierce desire to protect the vulnerable elf she’s holding. How cruel is the world to create someone so kind and open and give them nothing until they had to scramble and reach to find something on their own? Of course the world does not treat everyone fairly, but if what she thinks is true, then Weiren was certainly an unfortunate soul,  _ is  _ an unfortunate soul, and they haven’t really experienced the care of another person.

Even if she feels that them choosing her is still a bad decision, perhaps it is for the better. Because although she cannot love them back in the way they truly deserve, she  _ can  _ take proper care of them, in some ways. She can give them a home, at least for a time. She can give them attention and take care of their needs. She can bestow gifts upon them until they’d never want for anything ever again, though the only thing she’s seen them want is her…

What must it be like to be so in love? To want nothing but to be in her presence, to be by her side and to tell her they love her? It’s unfathomable that this warm and noble paladin of light feels such a thing for her: a cold, undead vampire with a penchant for seizing control, but it has happened, and they have said so over and over again. Against her better judgement, she does like to know that they’re so attached to her; she selfishly knows it means it’s unlikely they’ll leave her, and that she can keep them all to herself forever, or really as long as their attachment lasts. She can keep them in her manor and see them every day and every night, bringing them the touch that they so desire and pleasuring them until they never want to leave her as long as they live. She can dress them in finery suited to her tastes and give them the resources to pursue their passions, and they can know what it means to be properly cared for.

And she can keep them so that they can only ever express their love to her, so that they can never find anyone else that might sway their affection, so that no one else can hear how they sound when she’s pressing kisses to their skin, marking their body because they’re hers, so that she can be the only one to hear them whisper how they love her, how they like her so much and how important she is to them. She does like to hear that, after all, those reaffirmations of how much they want to be hers. It was as if her heart jumped, strangely, when Weiren let the sentiment fall from their lips within the last hour.

_ Love you _ , they said, pressed against her, surprising her, because it had only been a few hours since they reunited after over a year of separation, because it means they’d been yearning for her that  _ entire  _ time and their love never faded.

She wants all of that, all of  _ them _ , for herself and  _ only  _ herself. 

She wonders what it must be like for them, to be so madly in love. She guesses she won’t really know. After all, it isn’t fit for a queen to harbor such feelings. All she can do is simply accept their sentiment and take very, very good care of them.

***

When Vicouryn comes to consciousness, she is very warm. There’s a consistent heat all along her front and side, making her drowsy, and she realizes that she’s done the unthinkable and actually drifted off into sleep. The last time that happened was back in Gedal, and it was also with Weiren, though when it had occurred, she’d ended up in their arms instead of the other way around. 

Part of her disapproves; it means she felt comfortable enough to become dangerously vulnerable, but  _ gods  _ she feels so… content. That’s another thing she finds appealing about Weiren: their warmth. Not just the warmth of their kind and gentle personality, but the sheer  _ heat  _ of their body temperature, the heat of an actual living being, opposed to her and her undead chill. Before Weiren, the only warmth she could find was from the flames in a fireplace, but it’s nothing compared to the sensation of their body draped over hers.

And it’s been nice to not be so consistently on her guard. There’s something about them that makes her feel so comfortable, like she can relax for once in her life and just be at peace, knowing they’re there and that they want to be around her. Not to mention she’s properly back in Mevaden, surrounded by her trusted attendants and the royal guard, so there is not much harm in taking it easy for a bit.

She holds them tighter, sighing softly, wanting to stay here and freeze this moment in time, letting her forever hang onto them, even though she knows it’ll have to end sooner or later. She does have work to do, after all. 

Vicouryn runs a hand down the soft, wavy hair of the paladin fondly as she painfully makes up her mind to get up. They were impatient, so their hasty intimacy occurred earlier than usual, and there is still a good chunk of night left. Honestly, Vicouryn was ready to go for much longer, but she knows Weiren is inexperienced and was traveling all day and must have been tired. Maybe next time she’ll be able to time it so that it’s early morning, before dawn, and then she herself can rest during her usual hours, from sunrise to late morning, after engaging in their activities.

The paladin shifts in her arms, their breath deepening as they yawn against her, eyes fluttering open in what must be the most adorable version of them she’s ever seen. Sleepy but content, they tilt their head up, still braced on her chest, and look up at her, eyes only partially open.

When they see her looking down at them, a slow smile spreads on their face, blissful and happy, and something jumps in her chest. They’re so beautiful like this, somehow radiating goodness around them. Vicouryn’s expression softens further at their smile.

Weiren adjusts themself, rising just a bit and brushing a hand on the side of her face, and they kiss her softly on the cheek.

Somehow it’s… different from sharing a kiss with their lips. This one feels even more affectionate, and the warmth surrounding her grows, but it’s not a warmth of passion, exactly. She doesn’t know what to call it.

The paladin sinks back, letting their head rest on her shoulder as they relax again, so unbelievably warm against her.

“Love you,” they murmur drowsily, arms wrapping around her neck as she sets her own hands on the small of their back.

There it is again, those words that they want to give her, and something inside twists.

“Thank you,” she returns, because that love is a gift she cannot give back, but at least she can express her gratitude. Weiren sighs happily in her arms, content to stay in this position, tied together with her.

“Thank  _ you _ ,” they say back, and she wonders again how they can be so grateful to her when really they are the one giving so much of themself to her. They are the one who has somehow given her a warmth to hold in her world of cold, and they are the one who has given her love.

Perhaps her work can wait a little longer...

***

True to her word, a woman escorted by Nahlia comes by their room in the morning after Vicouryn leaves to handle some work. It’s a very tall half-orc woman, taller than even Vicouryn and with a wider frame, gray-green skin and dark hair pulled into a low bun.

“Good morning, Weiren,” Nahlia greets, and then gestures to the other woman, who dips her head, “This is Freya, the queen’s tailor.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” Weiren returns with a friendly smile, “I’m Weiren.”

“It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Freya says respectfully, bowing, and Weiren blinks at the stiff and diplomatic behavior.

“You don’t need to be so formal,” they say, a little thrown by the deep bow that they’ve really only ever seen reserved for the queen.

“You’re an honored guest of her majesty,” the tailor returns, rising, slightly confused by their reaction. Weiren looks from her to Nahlia and then back at her, not sure what to say.

“I’m from a very simple background,” they finally reply, humbly, “I’d rather we be a bit more casual.”

Now it’s Freya’s turn to blink in surprise, and she glances down at Nahlia, who nods assuredly.

“Alright, then, Weiren,” Freya says hesitantly. The tailor steps into the room at Nahlia’s gesture.

“I’ll be here to escort you back when you’re done,” the attendant says, and Freya nods. With that Nahlia closes the door, and it’s just them and Freya.

Professionally, Freya directs them to take out the clothes the queen already gave them and to put them on so that she can see where to make adjustments. Weiren attempts to make small talk, but Freya is not very talkative, so it doesn’t go very far. 

Next, Weiren dresses down to their inner layers so that the tailor can take measurements, unspooling a long, thin, marked fabric that she holds along the lengths of their arms and legs, and gently wraps around their chest, waist, and hips, one by one as she notes down the numbers.

When she measures across their shoulders, they realize she must have seen the love mark Vicouryn left on the previous night, and their cheeks warm, but she doesn’t say anything. Freya is very quiet and efficient in her work, focusing on her job quite well and not getting distracted at all.

The closest they’ve ever had to this kind of an experience was when they got their plate armor and a smith had to adjust a pre-existing set to fit them, but they’ve never had clothes tailored to their measurements before. Almost always they’d just get whatever fit the best and wear it frequently until it was too worn to be used anymore, mending it every so often until it was just too far gone. They wonder what other clothes they’ll be getting, if Vicouryn is serious about dressing them to her tastes. Would they have feathery mantles, too? That’d be quite a sight.

“How long have you been the queen’s tailor?” Weiren tries again to spark a little bit of talk, wanting to be friendly.

There’s a brief pause as she measures the circumference of their wrist.

“I was her tailor before she was queen. About six years,” she answers.

“Oh,” Weiren says, “That’s nice. It seems like an interesting job.”

Freya glances up as she stands.

“It is an honorable position,” she returns, and her gray eyes narrow a bit, “and in all those years she has never asked me to tailor for another person.”

Weiren stares at her.

“Never?” they repeat, a little taken aback, “I didn’t know…”

Her face softens a bit at their reaction.

“I was very curious to know what kind of person she would ask me to do this for,” Freya says, pulling the measuring cloth away and beginning to re-spool it, “I had certain expectations.”

Weiren wonders about the implications of the queen doing this for them. This woman, upon hearing of their humble background, maybe she thinks they’re too low in the class hierarchy to deserve the queen’s favor?

“Well, uh, sorry if it was uncomfortable for you,” they say, letting their arms fall back to their sides, “And thank you.”

The tailor eyes them at that, considering them.

“No, it is fine. You are her majesty’s honored guest, after all, and I am glad to be of service.” 

“Well, still, let me give you something for your trouble,” Weiren says, retrieving some coins from their belongings and placing them into her hand. She stares down at the gold in her palm, as if uncertain whether she should take it.

“I am already paid for my services,” she says, looking back to them, and Weiren shrugs.

“Then you can take it as gratitude,” they say, giving her a small smile, “I’d appreciate it.”

Freya slowly pockets the gold, brows furrowed just a bit as she does so. Having been an adventurer has filled their coinpurse over and over again, and though it’s nice not to have to struggle to eat, they don’t want to hang onto so much of it. Now that they don’t need to save up for any more expensive equipment or to help their friends pay for enchanted items, they take the opportunity to give. Back in Vangath, after they left Gedal, they’d given so much to those who knew them. Everyone they really knew struggled in the same way as they did.

“Your gratitude is appreciated,” she says, “thank you.”

They wonder if they’ll be seeing her again later, if the queen will want to give them even more clothes in the future.

“No problem,” Weiren says, before realizing that’s the more casual phrase and not the nicer one, “I mean, you’re welcome, that is.”

Freya lets out a quiet laugh as she puts all of her things away.

“So, you have other clothes in the meantime while I alter these?” She hefts the two fine sets of Mevaden garments on her arms, and Weiren nods. “Good, then I’ll get these to you in a few days, and the rest should come by the end of the week.”

“Sounds good,” Weiren says, “thanks again. Maybe, uh, sometime in the future, after you’re done, we could have lunch or something? I’d love to hear more about what you’ve worked on.”

She’s surprised again, they can tell, but her expression warms just a bit.

“That sounds nice,” she finally says, “Perhaps I will take you up on that offer.”

Weiren lets out an exhale of relief; they want so badly to make more friends here in Mevaden, and Freya seems nice.

“Great. I’ll see you later, then. I hope you have a good day!” They give her another bright smile, and she returns a much smaller, though genuine one.

“You as well.” Freya bids her farewell and takes her leave, and Weiren’s left to wonder what will be coming in the future.

***

Weiren finds that they aren’t sure what to do with all their time.

Vicouryn, as a queen, is quite busy, and she’s unavailable for most of the day and night, leaving Weiren with many hours free. It’s weird, because they came back to Mevaden to be with her, but it makes sense that she doesn’t have that much disposable time. At most it’ll be like Gedal, where they can steal a few hours with her in the dark of the night, but what are they supposed to do for the rest of the day? That’s not to mention that they don’t even know exactly when she rests, if she meditates during some of the daylight. They’ll need to find out how best to sync up their schedule with her.

After Freya’s departure, an attendant came by to deliver a tray of food and Weiren had a solitary breakfast. They wonder if the queen expects them to just… stay in this room. It feels awkward to walk around the manor without an escort, especially since they’re up on the third floor which seems to have restricted access. But she never said anything of the sort, just that she wanted them to be comfortable in their chambers. Most likely they can leave whenever they want, but they would want to return to her every night.

Perhaps now they can take the time to fully explore their room. 

They’ve been quite curious about the array of books on the shelves, and they make their way over to the two large bookshelves placed behind the writing desk. Weiren starts standing and then bends down as they skim over titles, pulling out a few interesting-looking books to see their covers before returning them. They find that the left one seems to be full of informative type books, like ones on history and skills and languages. The one on the right contains fictional stories, legends, tales, and a surprising amount of what appear to be… romance novels.

Weiren feels their cheeks warm as they look over a few, now crouching to see the bottommost shelf. 

Books are expensive, and yet there’s two full bookshelves just for them. They’ll be doing a lot more reading from now on, and not just when they catch a brief break from fighting. While traveling they never really had the time to read as much as they wanted; leisure was rare.

The paladin moves away from the books to look at the desk. As it was last night, a fresh candle sits on a dish, and there’s an inkwell and a quill on the side. Pulling open drawers, Weiren finds blank parchments, spare quills, and even empty notebooks. Tucked deeper in there’s a box of different colored inks, too! They can’t even fathom how much all this costs, but this means they have an endless supply for whenever they feel like writing. 

They’ll only be using one quill, though. Weiren finds the thin, long box in their bag and retrieves the black quill the queen gave to them almost two years ago, and sets it carefully on the table. There.

When Weiren looks up from the desk, their eyes fall on the curtained balcony windows far on the other side of the room. Right, they never got to check out the balcony. 

Weiren makes their way over and pulls the drapes back fully, and then opens the balcony door. There’s a small area out here, with wrought-iron fencing and a chair set up, but what draws their attention most is the existence of  _ planters _ , stacked in a pile on the side, a sack of what must be soil, and a small, silver watering can.

They gasp in delight, kneeling down immediately to take a closer look. Placed in the empty planters there’s also a pair of new gardening gloves. This brings such a wave of joy over them; how long has it been since they were a simple gardener? They’ve missed that humble time. Life was a lot simpler, but it was nice to cultivate flowers and crops like that.

They should go get some seeds and set this up right away. Weiren already has some moonflower seeds stashed away in their bag for when they might be able to grow those for Vicouryn, but they’re vines and perhaps not suited for living in a small planter. They wonder if she will give them actual land from her gardens like she once mentioned, but that also seems like a lot. Even just having planters on a balcony fills them with excitement.

She remembered what they told her… and she prepared  _ all  _ of it for them.

Weiren’s heart jumps over and over, affection and gratitude filling them. She remembered how they liked to read and write and she  _ remembered  _ that they talked about how they liked to grow things. Vicouryn is so thoughtful to them and it just makes them fall a little harder in love for how much she considers them and their likes.

They’ve never felt this before. Never felt as if someone was taking care of them well and making sure to think of their preferences. It feels  _ wonderful _ .

It does also feel strange, and unfamiliar, but Vicouryn said she wanted to take good care of them, and they want to accept that from her, at least for a short time. They’re not sure they can handle living this well for any extended period of time.

For now, Weiren leaves the planters, but they bring the gloves inside and leave them on the small table beside the balcony door. Oh, yes, and she got them a brand new lyre! Weiren picks up the instrument from where it was sitting on the cushion of the chair that matches that table and gives it a few test twangs. The strings vibrate and hum, rich notes filling the air.

Gods, how long has it been since they practiced this? It feels so nostalgic, and in more ways than one. They can remember when they got their first lyre; a gift, from a friend, and they can remember Lynne sitting down and teaching them how to play.

Right, Lynne!

Weiren sets the lyre back down for a second as they find their bags, rummaging around in them until they pull out a few folded and crumpled sheets. They’ve had a rough time in that bag.

Lynne wrote them some lyre exercises a long time ago, and now they can finally use them again. Weiren unfolds one of the sheets to review its contents, but honestly they should try to just copy them onto a fresh paper, because this one is dirtied and worn and might just rip if they fold it again. For now, they leave the sheets in a drawer of the desk.

Weiren glances around the room, wondering what else they should look at, and then they remember that Vicouryn had gotten cloths and oil from a nightstand. What else has she hidden in the drawers? Checking both nightstands reveals that both have an adequate supply of clean towels and jars of lubricant, which immediately makes them blush, but in the drawers of the nearby dresser they discover a few more things…

Oh,  _ gods _ .

Coiled up, there’s lengths of soft black rope sitting beside folded black cloth. Weiren’s a little scared to touch but they can guess that the cloth is a blindfold, and wow that doesn’t help them concentrate on the present. In the drawer beneath that one Weiren’s immediately at a loss for words because they find an assortment of black leather straps connected to form some sort of harness, and they can see a leather…  _ length _ protruding from part of it. Not to mention there’s several other leather shapes like that in the drawer, though not attached to a harness in the same way. It’s a strange kind of material they've never seen before, they actually aren’t even sure if it  _ is  _ leather, but it looks kind of like it. There’s a slight shine to the lengths, as if the material has been treated with something, though they also still look like they have some give. Weiren’s flushed cheeks burn harder, because they can only assume that they’re all for them, otherwise why else would the queen put them in the guest room she had prepared for them?

Weiren almost wants to touch them but they simply close the drawer, breathing nervously now that they know a bit more of what she has in plan for them. Guess they’ll just have to wait and see what happens tonight.

Maybe instead, for now, they can head out to town and pick up a few seeds, see the sights, acquaint themself with the streets, and maybe even have lunch somewhere more casual. Somewhere with people more like them. Then perhaps they can prepare the planters when they return.

With that thought in mind, they put on their less-fancy clothes, though with a nice Mevaden coat on top, as it is still just at the end of winter, and they head out.

***

Vicouryn is bored.

By now it’s about early afternoon, and all the curtains are drawn as she handles her work. Currently, she’s at what’s hopefully the tail-end of a very dry meeting that really didn’t even require her presence in the first place. Whatever squabble the Fairlights have with Lord Dolan is insignificant and uninteresting, and all she can think about is how she has a free hour after this meeting and how she is definitely going to send Nahlia to retrieve Weiren and bring them to the study. She has to take every chance she can get to spend time with them because she’s so damn busy otherwise. Somehow already half a day has passed since she had them in her arms early this morning and quite frankly she needs to put them back there so she can feel some semblance of content again.

“I trust that this issue has been resolved, then,” Vicouryn says, sweeping her gaze around the table, at which the participants nod reluctantly. “Good, then you are all free to go, Lord and Lady Fairlight, Lord Dolan. Have a good rest of your evening.”

The nobles depart first, thankfully, leaving the queen with Nahlia.

“I will be returning to my study for the next hour,” she informs, “Please bring Weiren there, as well.”

“Of course, my queen,” Nahlia returns professionally, and the two women part ways. Already Vicouryn feels anticipation at the prospect of seeing them again. Certainly being able to look forward to spending time with them makes the boring work of queendom more bearable. Beyond just managing her kingdom she can find a few stolen moments with them, where she can bask in their warmth and the softness of their love and touch.

Vicouryn makes her way to the study and seats herself on the chaise lounge, the one she’d had brought specifically to give her and Weiren more comfort for their activities. She remembers those times fondly. Coaxing the nervous paladin to join her on it, them baring their shoulders so she could see the scars left across their back. Them lowering the neckline of her gown to show her own fleeting scars. They’d only had those brief hours in the night back then, but  _ now… _

Imagine if she could have them for full days _... _ full  _ days  _ in which she could rouse them from their slumber with gentle caresses and soft kisses until they were panting needily in her arms. Perhaps she could bring them to release right then, to start their day together off well. Days where she could select their clothes and dress them herself, running her hands all over them as she does so. Days where she could sit with them in their room, talking or reading or doing whatever. Perhaps she could get them a full spa treatment somewhere, and they could know what it feels like to be properly pampered. Afterwards, she could have a high-class lunch prepared for them and they could spend the rest of daylight back in their room, draped across each other as she ran her fingers through their hair and they showed her whatever it is they were putting their time to, perhaps a book they were reading or a song they’d learned on the lyre. Night could then fall, and she’d be able to go outside properly, and they could walk alongside each other in the gardens, like they requested in their letter. Then, privately, in a gazebo or a quiet corner of the garden, she could touch them and work them up until they’re melting in her arms, eyes half-lidded under her ministrations. She loves how they fall apart at her touch.

She’d lift them up, bridal style, and carry them back to her manor, their face flushed and body warm all the way back to their chambers. All the attendants and guards would not react but they’d know of who she has in her personal possession, and back in the room she’d tear off the clothes she dressed them in, tie them down to the bed and take and take and  _ take  _ until they were exhausted and limp and satisfied. She’d make sure they felt so good they’d never want to leave her, and she would keep them, forever, all to herself. 

Just the way that it should be.

Vicouryn is shaken from these thoughts by the sound of the door opening.

What… she lost herself in thought?

She doesn’t have time to scold herself because when she looks up, Nahlia is gesturing for Weiren to enter the study, and almost immediately she feels her shoulders lower. Whatever she needs to tell herself can wait; now she must be careful with her time and make sure to use her minutes well. After her break, she likely won’t see Weiren again until late tonight. 

Well… she supposes it’s not like they’re going anywhere for the time being. But any time with them is a damn treasure, and she will make sure not to waste it.

The paladin enters the study as Nahlia closes the door behind them.

“Weiren,” she addresses, spirits lifting at the mere sight of the wood elf, and she gives them one of her dark, pleased smiles.

“Hello, Vicouryn,” they say back, returning with their own smile as they walk towards her.

“Unfortunately, I only have around an hour of time before I have other duties to attend to,” she informs, and then thinking, she pats her lap. Will they just climb right on? “But let us spend that time together.”

“Oh, I see,” Weiren replies, a little put out by that, and that makes her even more pleased. A few more steps and they’re just about in front of her. “But, um, you want me to sit… on your lap?”

The queen reaches for Weiren’s hands as she gives them a single nod, and she guides them as they slowly, one knee after the other, begin to straddle her thighs obediently, their face already darkening at the cheeks as they grip her hands tightly for balance. How good they are at following instructions…

This way they’re higher up then her, their head positioned above as they look down, their warm legs pressed against hers, and she pushes down on their thighs so that they bend their knees as much as they can, making them press even more against her.

“This is a good look for you,” she comments slyly, looking up at their blushing face.

“Most things are nowadays,” they answer playfully, at which the queen chuckles. So much more confident than they used to be. She wraps her arms around their waist, pressing her face against their chest as they in turn put their arms around her neck.

“Wonderful,” she murmurs against them, sighing. Just holding them is relaxing. Like a perfect fit, Weiren lets their muscles loosen and their chin settles comfortably atop Vicouryn’s head, their bodies fitting together as if they were made for each other. “Stay like this, for a bit.”

“Sure,” Weiren says, “Could I, uh, touch your hair while I’m up here?”

Vicouryn already knows that Weiren will willingly fall directly under her control whenever she pleases, and so she does not fear losing her own, and thus she does not fear allowing Weiren a bit more agency in these situations anymore. They’re hers, and she can allow this.

Obviously not because she’s full of feelings or something like wanting their touch, but because she is simply allowing them to indulge in their desires out of generosity. 

“Certainly,” she affirms.

“Thank you,” Weiren says happily, and leaning against her, they move their arms. It’s not too long before she can feel those warm hands stroking down from head to back, and she lets out a deep exhale. “I like doing this for you, like you do for me,” they say softly, their fingers combing through her hair, separating out locks, and it sends tingles down her back.

“I have said it is one of the most pleasant sensations,” she returns quietly, her eyes closing as she rests against their chest. Oh, it really does feel so nice. Besides her attendants Weiren’s really the only one she can trust to be so close without caution. They want so badly to please her that they’d never do anything against her. 

They’re in love with her, after all. They’re  _ hers. _

“It really is,” Weiren says. The pads of their fingertips graze her scalp deliciously as they card down, parting her hair in two until they reach the bottom, letting her hair sway and then rejoin as one, and then they trail those hands back up the sides of her head to repeat the motion. Tenderly and lovingly, they continue to do this, and Vicouryn relaxes into it, stress slipping out of her body and being replaced with warmth and care. 

She’s so damn glad that they came back to Mevaden.

Of course, it’s not like she  _ needs  _ them like the way they seem to need her; she’s just aware of all the benefits that come with having them.

“How has your day been?” They ask after a few minutes of blissful silence.

“Tolerable,” she answers, “barely. And how have you been?” Normally she would not answer in such a way, but it feels fine to express her honest opinions to them.

“Oh, umm… the tailor, Freya came by. She was nice. After that I looked around the room. Thanks again, by the way. I, uh, found the planters on the balcony,” they say, “It was a nice surprise. I wasn’t sure if you’d remember.”

“Of course I didn’t forget,” Vicouryn says, a little indignant, “Not after you wrote about growing flowers in that letter of yours.”

Weiren takes in a breath.

“Oh, gods. I… it’s been so long since I wrote that,” they say, embarrassment creeping into their voice, “I didn’t think you’d remember that, either.”

The queen pulls away to look up at them, and they’re totally flustered in that way she likes to see. 

Silently she points to the side, and Weiren turns their gaze to see the glass moonflower sitting in a small vase on her desk.

“Oh!” They gasp, “You kept it!”

“Obviously,” she says, “like you keeping this.” With a hand she tugs lightly at the worn red scarf on their neck. Who do they think she is? Weiren gave themself to her, of course she would keep the moonflower. And the damn letter, safely tucked away in her desk.

Weiren turns back to look at her, and for a second she thinks there might be  _ more  _ tears brimming in their eyes, but they’re wearing an expression of happiness.

“I’m glad,” they say quietly, a warm smile on their face as they look down, and she’s almost taken aback by the sheer genuine affection in their face, because  _ gods  _ they're so earnest it almost makes her embarrassed. There’s a thumping, somewhere, but she ignores it. “Can I kiss you?” 

And the way they always ask before they act… it’s endearing…

Vicouryn takes their face in her hand and brings it down to kiss them. This one is mostly closed-mouth, but it is a sweet one, their heads turning to deepen it as she holds their jaw. Weiren hugs her closer, sinking into the contact.

When it ends, Weiren has that happy, freshly-kissed expression they always wear after she’s kissed them, and really she can’t get enough of that.

Her eyes sharpen for a second. They’ve got that other expression on, the one when they’re about to say something even more earnest. Something that might make her heart jump, and she’s had enough of whatever the hell her own body is doing.

Before they can open their mouth, Vicouryn pulls them down for a second kiss, a little more aggressively, and she prods their lips with her tongue so she can enter and claim them properly. So she can kiss them in the way that makes them weak and breathless, and then they won’t have  _ any  _ business saying anything that might make her react. Of course, at her first touch Weiren gives her entrance almost automatically, as if their mouth was made for her to enter and take, which it most certainly is by this point. The vampire reaches in assertively, licking her way inside and they let her, completely submitting as she likes them to. She pulls each of their lips between her own, dragging her tongue across them and tasting them until she wants to re-enter their mouth properly, and she slides back inside, along their tongue which reciprocates eagerly. Their heads are now moving back and forth as the kissing continues, breaking briefly so that Weiren can squeeze in a breath, and then they’re back at the mercy of Vicouryn who slows down her pace just a bit so she can go at this more leisurely. She has her time, and she knows it will drive Weiren crazy and wanting, and perhaps it’s not a bad idea to work them up in advance so that they’re left to just crave her touch until she can take them properly tonight. 

That seems like a very good idea, actually.

Vicouryn lets her hands slide down their back to rest on their ass, one on either side and they stiffen at her touch, but they can’t say anything because she’s got that mouth occupied, and now she's sucking on their tongue just to make sure they’re getting a little overwhelmed. A few sounds start leaking from their mouth, wet ones from the motions of their tongue and vocal gasps as she touches them. She transitions back to reaching into their mouth, letting their tongue rest as she squeezes them with a firm hand, and Weiren lets a soft moan spill around her touch. She’s moving inside them, taking control as she is wont to do, and she knows that they love it.

Finally the kissing comes to a bit of a longer pause, at the point where even Vicouryn takes a few breaths, and she instead focuses on her hands, grasping at the shirt that’s been tucked into their pants and dragging it free.

Weiren’s practically completely breathless, and is taking a few moments to recover but they gasp again as she reaches a hand up along their back and underneath all of the layers they're wearing, Vicouryn still managing to touch them so deeply even with their clothes on.

It might be nice to fuck them like that, too, where they’re still mostly clothed, and need to redress and go back out into the world and pretend as if the Queen of Mevaden hadn’t just pushed them against the wall and fucked the breath of out them in the middle of their day-to-day duties.

She chuckles at that thought, the vulgar words drifting in. At times she wants to simply take, but there are other times where Weiren simply  _ must  _ be fucked; they’re so damn desirable and attractive. 

“Y-you know,” Weiren manages to say between breaths, “I saw what was in the dresser.”

Oh, did they? The corner of her lip curls up in a devious smirk as she retreats from under their shirt to pull their outermost layer off. They allow her, as expected, and adjust their limbs accordingly to make the process easier.

“Really? What did you find?” she asks innocently, returning a hand to slip under their shirt and pull them down closer to her. The other hand plays teasingly at the hem of their pants, right above their ass, and they look down at her with a flustered expression.

“You put those things there,” Weiren says, face turning even redder. Vicouryn pulls them closer so that their bodies are flush.

“Hmm?” She smirks up at them as she reaches higher up their back, fingers splaying across hot skin. Weiren rolls their eyes at this.

“Okay,” they say, “I guess that’s fine.” Vicouryn kisses them again, dragging them back down to her face for a quick one.

“Really?” Weiren asks, “That’s all you're going to say about it?”

“About what?”

“The-the…” Weiren presses their lips together for a moment as they look down at her, brows furrowed, “toys?”

Vicouryn laughs again. How she loves to see them react.

“I did put them there. I’m hoping to use some tonight,” she says, still with a smirk.

“Which ones?” Weiren asks. 

“We’ll see,” Vicouryn says, “Since it seems you’re so interested perhaps you can pick. All I’m planning is to  _ fill  _ you up.”

Weiren flushes harder and she likes to see it, but instead of just falling quiet they challenge her back. “Maybe we should just go back to my room so you can do that now?”

A very appealing suggestion, she won’t lie, but there’s something about making them have to wait a bit to make the experience even sweeter.

“Now, let’s not be impatient,” Vicouryn says, stroking a hand down the side of their head as her other drags fingernails lightly down their back, and they arch as she does so, another vocal exhale falling from their mouth. She can feel their legs tense around her. Just as delicious as all of their reactions. “I’m sure you can wait until later tonight.”

Weiren makes an adorable pouty expression at her that she isn’t expecting and she feels a warmth of her own come to her face, but she regards them with an unchanging look.  _ She  _ is also quite ready to absolutely fuck them right now but she has enough self-control, somehow, if only to torment them.

“Fine,” they finally say, sinking down to rest their head on her shoulder.

“It won’t be too long,” Vicouryn adds quietly after a second, torn between wanting to tease them and mollify their slight disappointment. 

“Mhm.”

There’s a bit of another silence for a few moments, just them holding onto each other. Vicouryn ceases her teasing for now, excepting the hand she’s got up their shirt that she rubs in circles across their upper back.

“Hey,” Weiren says again, “When do you normally sleep?”

“Hm,” Vicouryn returns, shifting her weight, “why do you ask?”

“Oh, um, I thought it might be good if I just… tried to sync up my sleep schedule with yours,” they answer, and she blinks as she holds them. What a considerate thought.

“From dawn to late morning,” Vicouryn says, “though sometimes it can change.”

“I see,” Weiren says, “you do a lot of work at night, huh?”

“I do.” Vicouryn does most of her work at night, unless it’s meetings, and those happen in the afternoon to evening. 

“So when do you finish up?” Weiren continues.

“Normally, I am done working by midnight. Then I have some hours before I rest.”

“Oh, wow, that’s not a lot of free time,” the paladin comments, frowning a bit, “it must be hard.”

“It is fine,” Vicouryn says, “I am perfectly capable of handling the work, and I have my breaks, like now. I would hope that in the future you continue to be available during them.”

Weiren makes a small smile as they pull back to look properly at her.

“Of course,” they say, “whenever you want. Just let me know in advance, so I can make sure to be here.” Yes, she is happy to hear this. They  _ want  _ to be available to her.  _ Good _ .

“I will,” she says, “and I’ll make sure you feel good everytime.”

Weiren makes an embarrassed frown, but still in a good natured fashion, and they bury their face into her shoulder.

“Come now,” Vicouryn says, patting them, “perhaps we’ll be waiting for the best part tonight, but in the meantime I can still do  _ other  _ things to you.” With that she takes a firm hold of their waist as she shifts to recline a bit more horizontally against the sloped back of the chaise lounge, and she pulls them to lean more against her front. Here with them draped on top of her, she holds them closer by sliding both arms up the back of their shirt to rest on the skin of their shoulder blades, still touching them intimately and taking in their warmth. They brace their hands on her shoulders, too, and meet her in another kiss.

Vicouryn does not waste a single minute, and the hour passes with the two of them wrapped up in each other.

***

Weiren finds it hard to relax now that they’re just waiting. After Vicouryn’s break they’re left to hang out in their chambers, knowing that she intends to take them again tonight, and all they can do is wait and try not to think too hard about it, because there will be several more hours before it happens. The queen seemed to have some fun touching them to the point where they were on the precipice of reacting a little more strongly, but she held back so as not to arouse them too much, which is both a blessing and a curse.

After their time with Vicouryn, Nahlia offered to bring them dinner, but they instead went down with her to eat together, not really wanting to eat alone. They got to talk to a few other attendants and get some names, which was nice. They’re interested in getting to know the other people of the manor more in the future.

And now they’re here… 

Maybe they should ask Nahlia about a place they might be able to train later. When they’re feeling restless it normally helps to work out for a bit. At least they have enough space to do bodyweight stuff if they really want, but they aren’t sure if they want to get sweaty now.

For now, they suppose, they have the seeds they want, and perhaps they can prepare some of the planters. It’s pretty cold in Mevaden in general, so they got some hardier plants that can stay up year-long.

Sometimes they think back to the times when they’d grow fruits and vegetables, too, and pass the surplus around to their friends in their neighborhood. There were tons of people in poverty back in Vangath, but here in Mevaden everyone seems to enjoy a decent standard of living. There’s practically no homelessness and everyone wears nice clothes and eats quite well. Obviously not everyone is as well off as the nobles, but Queen Vicouryn runs a city in which no one is left to starve. She takes incredibly good care of her kingdom and her people.

What a wonderful person.

Weiren rubs the fabric of their scarf between their fingers. It is a little worn over the year, but it’s in mostly good shape, and it makes them happy to touch it. They’re so glad she’s accepted them into her life; even if they have unrequited feelings of love, she still wants to have them. They feel so fortunate to be able to stay with her. Compared to the person they first ever had a crush on, Vicouryn is like a beacon of wonder, beauty, power, and kindness. They still don’t know the extent of her power but she treats them so gently and with so much care. 

Gods, they really do love her.

Weiren falls back onto their bed, gazing up at the ceiling. They wish they could go see her again  _ now _ , but they must have patience…


	3. Intimate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night falls, and Vicouryn finally claims Weiren with slow, endless pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LITERALLY this ENTIRE chapter is just sex for a solid 14-15k words. longest sex scene i have ever written. enjoy?  
> posting this one early since i want the world to bear witness to the sexy times i guess :S 
> 
> RELATED TAGS: handjob, anal sex (with AMPLE PREPARATION) pegging, mild begging & mild praise, oral sex (cunnilingus), more pegging, multiple orgasms, & a gentle sprinkling of emotions  
> also femdom and domination/submission but those are like in every single chapter

It takes too damn long.

Normally Weiren is very patient, but this time their brain is completely full of Queen Vicouryn, and though they find ways to pass the time, it doesn’t stop their thoughts. They’re still so new to this level of intimacy and knowing that the vampire is planning on claiming them from the inside-out, as she said, is driving them crazy. It’ll be completely different from the intimacy of the prior night, and they won’t be in as much of a hurry, so the queen will certainly want to take her time with them. She might even want to tie them down again.

Weiren sneaks a few more peaks in the dresser, but they can’t bring themself to touch the things inside. Surely they’ll be becoming well-acquainted with them all through use, anyway. 

_Gods!_

They just can’t stop thinking about it. Weiren shuts the drawer and sighs.

There’s the sound of the door opening behind them. Weiren turns around to see Vicouryn standing in the doorframe, and they feel a smile automatically form on their face.

“Vicouryn!” Weiren heads over as she shuts the door behind her. Even if their mind is a little scrambled from knowing what’s coming they just feel more at ease when they see her. Her stoic expression gives way to a subtle smile as well, and it’s only a few moments before Weiren’s crossed the distance between them and just pulled her into a hug, their arms around her neck.

“It’s only been some hours, Weiren,” she says, a little amused as she curls her arms around their waist. From their time together they’ve found she doesn’t seem to mind their more affectionate behavior, and so they just happily press their head into her shoulder.

“Too many,” Weiren returns, and she laughs. It’s such a wonderful sound. 

“It is unfortunate we had to wait, but it means tonight will be all the more wonderful. How are you feeling about that?” She asks as they both pull back in order to look at each other. For the moment her dark and playful looks are put on hold, instead briefly replaced with one of concern.

“Like I don’t want to wait anymore,” Weiren says, blushing, and Vicouryn blinks as if not expecting that eager response, and a look crosses her face. Like Weiren’s something she just _needs_ to get her hands all over.

“Well,” she says, darkly, gazing down at them, “I’ll be taking my time tonight. I’ll make certain that you’ll feel so good you won’t want this night to ever end.”

She takes a few steps forward, forcing them to back up and they actually stumble for a moment but she’s holding onto them so they don’t fall, and then all at once she adjusts her hands and scoops them up into a bridal carry, still somehow effortlessly despite how thin her arms look and how broad Weiren is, and they let out a gasp of surprise.

“You’re mine,” she says as she walks towards the bed, steps measured and even, “And tonight I’ll be claiming you from within.”

More blood rushes to their face at those words, and at the position they’ve been put in.

“Sounds fun,” Weiren says, wanting to banter against her predatory words.

“ _Very_ fun,” she answers, and then she’s bracing a knee on the bed as she lowers them down to it. “I’d like to be the one to undress you _entirely,_ this time.”

Weiren flushes harder as they’re laid down, but they nod.

“Of course,” they answer, “anytime.”

“Anytime?” she repeats, climbing over them to straddle their legs.

Oh, that is a dangerous thing to say.

“Yes,” Weiren says, because fuck it, she can do what she wants and they love her for it. “Whenever you want.”

“I’ll keep this in mind,” she says, a dark glee in her voice as she sits atop them and slowly pulls the scarf free from their neck. The fabric drags so deliberately against their skin and their breath quickens in anticipation, though they’re pretty sure she’s still going to be taking her time. Gods, she might even drain them again tonight, too.

Vicouryn lets the scarf rest on the side, the beginning of what will probably become a pile of all of their clothes.

“If you saw what was in the dresser, then I’m sure you must have seen the rope,” she says, running a hand down the side of Weiren’s face, “But that will be for later. Since tonight will be your first time being taken in this way, I’d rather you have a bit of control over your own body.”

“H-how considerate of you,” Weiren comments, except they’re already imagining what it might be like once they actually use them.

“But even without it, I’m sure you’ll be entirely at my mercy, anyway,” she says, almost offhandedly, “Since you love to please me so much.”

Now she’s teasing them, but in response they want to tease her back. Weiren turns their head just a little bit and makes a sly smirk.

“Only because you love to touch me so much,” they say, challenging.

Vicouryn tilts her head at them. The hand on their cheek drifts up and she lets her forefinger and middle finger trail from their forehead down their nose to their lips. Of course, Weiren lets their mouth open and the corner of Vicouryn’s lips goes up as she presses her cold fingers into their tongue. Even if they tease and banter back, they both know they want her to just enact her control over them in this situation.

“Of course I do,” she says, “If you were me, you’d feel the same way.”

Weiren makes a sound around her hand as she gazes down in a pleased and assessing manner. Then the wet fingers withdraw and trail down their chin, down their chest, where they’re still wearing a thin tunic and a vest.

“Who else would desire my touch as much as you?” She adds, smirking, as she begins to slowly undo the fastenings of the first layer.

“Anyone with a brain,” Weiren replies, “You’re so wonderful.”

Her hands pause in their motions at that and her eyes flick up from the buttons to their face, and she exhales in amusement, shaking her head.

“Flatterer,” she says, “Though my attention is reserved specifically for you.”

“It’s not flattery,” Weiren protests, “It’s the truth!”

“And you’re hopelessly in love, Weiren,” Vicouryn returns, “You’re biased.”

Maybe she has a point.

“At least I’m lucky to be with you now,” they say, a bit quieter. They wonder how many other people would simply accept but not reciprocate feelings of love from another person. She doesn’t even love them back but she still wants to engage in intimacy with them.

“Sit up,” Vicouryn directs, not replying to that comment, and Weiren obeys, raising their arms so she can pull the layer off of them with ease. It joins the scarf on the side, and now Weiren’s down to their tunic and pants. “As always, you are quite good at following directions.”

“I try,” Weiren says as her fingers move to the buttons of their last shirt, and she only undoes the top few, pulling the collar away so she can get a good look at their neck. 

“Hm,” she hums softly, running her hand across their skin, “only one mark, for now. That’s just not enough, is it?”

Right, she did give them one yesterday. 

“Probably not,” Weiren replies, “Remember, you need to make sure my, um, body, is properly under your name?” They get a little flustered partway through the sentence but the sentiment is there. 

Vicouryn laughs again, this time even louder, and Weiren feels their spirits rise more. 

“I will,” she says, “But I have _plenty_ of time to spread them out. And I also have the opportunity to take some of your blood, if you so desire.”

Weiren hooks a finger into the neck of their shirt and holds it away from them, inviting her to come. It’s been too damn long and they’ve been thinking about this so much over the past year. It’s how they really came to be together, after all. Them giving blood to her when she was weak and injured is what got them here, now.

“I’d like that,” they say, tilting their head to create some more space, and the predatory glint in Vicouryn’s eyes seems to shine brighter.

“It’s been a long while since I had some,” she muses as she leans closer, brushing aside their hand so she can more firmly grip them. Vicouryn sweeps their hair to one side and wraps her arms around them as she begins to trail her lips across their flesh. It’s a welcome feeling and they relax into it, her delicate, cool touch drifting languidly on them. Weiren reciprocates and hugs back, though loosely, as the queen searches for the best area to draw blood. She leaves soft kisses behind as she traces paths across them, sparking a sensation that pulls a few soft moans from Weiren’s lips. Her head rises as she touches their ear, breathing cool air against them and biting gently on their earlobe. Then she descends again to the side of their neck and her grasp becomes more firm, one hand around their waist and the other gripping the back of their head to hold its angle. Their chests come into contact with this intimate hold and the queen begins to center her motions on a more specific area, almost as if she was planning on leaving behind a love mark. Another kiss, and then carefully, the sharp pain of her fangs as they sink into their flesh. Weiren barely reacts, exhaling calmly as Vicouryn begins to drink. 

Gods, it’s been so long since the last time. Their eyes flutter closed as the pain fades and they focus on the draining sensation. The _giving_ sensation, as they choose to share vitality with the vampire they love, the vampire that restricts herself to drinking blood only once a year so as not to hurt anyone. Weiren finds their hands have made their way to Vicouryn’s back, where they idly play with a few locks of black hair, and they hum gently and contentedly while she drinks. They wonder if their blood is any different now than it was before. They’ve grown in the time apart and they’re stronger than before.

Finally, after a short while, the bite is over, but Vicouryn’s actions are not, because as always she must tend to the wound, and Weiren smiles as she does so, carefully licking up any blood that might have spilled and kissing the reddened skin. They lean their head affectionately against hers, and it’s only another moment before she pulls away with a satisfied expression.

“Thank you,” she says, her arms loosening and her fingertips barely grazing where she’d just bit, “you taste as wonderful as ever.”

“Of course,” Weiren says, happy to give, and then she’s returning to slowly unbutton the rest of their shirt. They watch, gazing down at her pale hands until she opens up the shirt entirely, revealing their soft and muscled torso. Both strong and comfortably cushioned, Weiren’s a little bit bigger than before. She drags the fabric down their shoulders until it’s come off their body, and then smiles appreciatively at the sight. How many new scars have they gotten since she’s seen them last?

Vicouryn runs her hands up their arms back to their neck and leans in, pulling their face towards her. Then, abruptly, she stops.

“Vicouryn?”

“Wait. One moment,” she says quickly, glancing to the side, and Weiren sees she’s looking at a pitcher of water on the nightstand. There’s a moment where she slides off Weiren and retrieves a cup of water, from which she takes a large sip and appears to swish it around her mouth.

_Oh._

“I doubt you want to taste your own blood,” Vicouryn says as she returns, a faint red to her face as she briefly looks away. How considerate of her! They didn’t even think of that.

“It’d be… interesting, to say the least,” Weiren says, extending a hand to help her climb back onto the bed. She takes it, and then she’s sitting astride their legs again, “Thank you, though.”

“I intend to make this night perfect,” Vicouryn returns, shifting closer, and she takes hold of them again and pulls them into a kiss. Shallow at first, but only for a second or two before it becomes deep. Weiren does notice the slightest hint of iron, but it goes away after a bit and they’re too caught up in the act of kissing to really care. Vicouryn bites gently at their lips and then reaches in with her tongue. It’s here that Weiren feels one of her hands slide down, maddeningly slowly, to their hips. The vampire is too good at dividing her attention and she’s filling all their senses with such an intense kiss as her fingers brush the cloth of their pants, and they moan against her. Just to reciprocate a bit more Weiren places their own hands tentatively on her back, their arms wrapping around her neck so they don’t get in the way of hers down below.

“Gods,” Weiren says as they break apart for a moment, “ _any_ night with you is perfect.” Then Vicouryn’s pressing a palm against their pelvis, prompting them to inhale sharply and bite their lip.

“Hm,” she says, watching their face intently, “I wonder if I could make them even better.” Her pressure lets up and she just grazes them through the fabric as they react to stimulation, the cloth beginning to tent.

“I don’t know how-” Weiren gasps, “-you could even do that!”

Vicouryn’s free hand cups their face as she strokes them leisurely, her mouth curving into a smile.

“I wonder how you might feel about being roused from your trance _with_ pleasure,” she says, tilting her head. Oh, gods. Weiren has to take a second to imagine that. Blinking to consciousness tiredly only to realize they’re on the precipice of release and at the whims of the vampire beside them. She wants to make them feel good that much? They’d never want to even get out of the bed if they started the day feeling that kind of glow. 

When they come back to the present they’re aware that their face is even redder.

“You’d… want to do that for _me_?” Weiren says, stunned by the proposition. 

“ _Only_ if you were interested in such a thing,” Vicouryn returns firmly, “It is quite enjoyable for me to bring you so much pleasure.”

“I’d want to be able to make you feel good, too, though,” Weiren responds, “I’d feel… a little bad if it was just me.”

“I’m sure we could arrange such a thing, though I must reiterate that I take great pleasure in making _you_ fall apart; it would not be necessary.” The hand down at their core shifts, fingers dipping behind the hem. “And I’d very much like to take these off you, too.”

“Oh, right!” Weiren has to shift themself to help Vicouryn drag the last layers off of their body, and there’s just a solid moment where they’re completely exposed and the queen is still fully clothed, but they’re more used to her gaze and it doesn’t feel as intimidating as it might have before. She stares at them, as if beholding something wonderful, eyes running up and down their form with a pleased expression. They’re both embarrassed and a little honored that she likes to look at them so much. “Uh, how do I look?” 

“Delightful,” she answers, voice lower than before, “ _wonderful_ . You are _ravishing_ , Weiren.”

O-oh… Weiren glances away shyly under the praise.

“I will also get more comfortable,” she muses, and it’s almost as if she has to drag her eyes off of them to focus on undressing herself. Vicouryn pulls the plain black dress off, revealing a different set of undergarments than before. Her top conceals the lower part of her chest and there’s a sheer, satiny material that falls from it down to her hips, but it’s layered in a way that the lower center of her midriff is left uncovered. Of course, it’s all black material. The bottom piece is modest and solid black, covering what is necessary and reaching down to her upper thighs, though there’s a slight lacy trim across the hems. Somehow she manages to look elegant and poised even when dressed down to this level. Weiren wonders if maybe they need to invest in some nicer undergarments than the plain, simple shorts they normally end up wearing… but also what if she includes new ones in the new wardrobe? Gods, what is Freya even being told to make?

Weiren sighs softly as they watch, taking in this rare sight of the ethereal and bewitching Vicouryn, again knowing they are only privy to this because she trusts them so much.

Then she’s coming towards them again, another glint in her eye.

“It will be helpful for you if you experience release first,” she says, coming to their side and running her fingers up their leg, “for the kind of… intercourse we will be engaging in.”

“Okay,” Weiren answers, because she probably knows better than them, and oh gods that means she’ll be touching them so very soo- “Ah!” There’s a sharp gasp as the cool touch grazes their length and Weiren shivers, despite the heat inside of them growing hotter. 

“Oh,” she says, glancing down, “you already seem to be pretty close.” Vicouryn trails her touch up to the tip as she looks back at their flushed face.

“Yea,” they say, “it’s… faster… with, um, these parts.” Especially after she worked them up earlier. Besides, it’s way easier to find release than with the other set, that’s for sure. Maybe they’ll change, soon.

“Makes sense,” Vicouryn says, and she leans closer to kiss them again, as if to distract them from the fact she’s literally about to get them off with her hand. Weiren just goes along with it, turning their head to meet her lips and focus on that and not the cold fingers tracing paths up and down their sensitive length. Soon she’s deepening the kiss, occupying their mouth with a playful and controlling tongue, and Weiren’s trying to reciprocate when they feel her hand close around them fully, sending sparks of anticipation running up their body. They gasp into her mouth; they’re feeling so hot that the temperature difference is just that more stark.

She leans over more, making Weiren recline a bit as she kisses them more assertively, not moving her hand, not yet, and just letting them feel her stationary touch for the moment. Her arm wraps around their back to support them as she pushes them further down, and they reach to hang onto her shoulders, fingers gripping tightly as the sensations continue to mount.

Then she pulls away, breaking the kiss to stare down at them, focused and intense, and Weiren knows they’re already red and panting. With that she strokes down and then up, only once, and very, very slowly. Weiren’s breath hitches as they tense, and there’s another second where she doesn’t move at all, and it’s destroying them.

“Ng, ha-, Vi- _Vicouryn_ ,” Weiren breathes, biting their lip as they look up at her unchanging expression.

“Hm?” She returns, the corner of her mouth curling up as she drags another maddeningly slow stroke back to their base, and even if they’re so sensitive it doesn’t matter; she’s moving so slowly that she’ll never bring them over the edge. Weiren squeezes their eyes shut as they let out a shuddering exhale, and the cold touch goes back up.

“P-please,” Weiren says, squirming underneath her, feeling their need grow.

“I said I would take my time, Weiren,” she returns, “Didn’t I?”

Damn, she did. 

“You are quite the sight when so worked up,” she muses, pressing a chilled kiss to their forehead, “I could keep you here forever.”

Weiren doesn't think they’d survive that, and they look up at her with wide eyes. Forever is a _long_ time.

She laughs at that and pulls them closer.

“Do not worry, Weiren,” she hums, and then her hand begins to move again, “I have promised you pleasure, and you will have it. _So_ much of it.”

“Okay,” Weiren says unevenly. They trust her on that and they try to relax, trying to just enjoy the sensation, but they’re feeling so on the edge that they’re a bit jumpy. When her hand glides gently back up to the top, Weiren realizes her fingers have gathered some of their arousal, and her languid strokes spread it along them, reducing friction.

_Gods!_

“You’re so warm,” Vicouryn comments, still gazing down at them with a controlled expression. It always amazes them how she can look so stoic while she’s practically reducing them to _nothing_ under her touch.

“Hng-, I-I bet,” Weiren gasps in reply, but it’s hard to focus on the words.

Her grip becomes firmer, now, on the upstroke, and she presses her thumb to the tip when she does, and gods they come apart even more. Soft moans and gasps fall from their lips under Vicouryn's gaze, and she’s not even doing that much. Just a controlled motion that wreaks absolute havoc on Weiren’s body, a steady up and down that slowly gains speed.

“Ah!” They’re so close now, and something’s coming, building up inside as her hand goes faster still, smearing through even more of their arousal and slicking their skin.

“Come, Weiren,” she says, her voice measured and low.

A few more strokes as she hugs them closer to her body, and Weiren shakes as she pulls the climax from them, her expert fingers drawing the pleasure out. Pulses of sensation flood out from their core, radiating out to the tips of their fingers as they hang onto Vicouryn, moaning softly against her, and the whole while she’s watching, smiling, assessing them and their reactions, drinking in their desire-filled expressions until they’re panting and calming down.

When they come down from the high they realize she’s caught most of their come in her hand, but she has a cloth at the ready and simply wipes it and whatever spilled onto their stomach away. 

“And that’s just the beginning,” Vicouryn hums, a delighted tone in her voice as she sets Weiren down properly. They lie there for a moment, breathing, as she climbs off the bed. “I’ll retrieve the other things.”

Weiren’s already a bit tired from what just happened but they’re excited and nervous for what’s to come next. They wonder how different penetration might feel on another day, when they’ve changed themself. They wonder how it might feel if they’re barely waking up and Vicouryn’s already worked them up to extreme arousal. She’s implied so many different things and they want to experience it all with her.

Finally they sit back up on their elbows and are welcomed with the sight of Vicouryn casually walking back to the bed, except this time she’s strapped a familiar-looking harness of some sort around her hips… and… well…

She heads for the nightstand to draw out that same jar from before, and then she’s climbing back on, the weight shifting the mattress as Weiren swallows nervously. Well, this certainly is happening, they suppose.

“I’ll want to see your face for this first time,” she muses, reaching past them to grab a pillow, “Lift your hips.”

Weiren obeys, and she pushes the cushion underneath them to better elevate their pelvis. An assessing look, and then she adds another, further lifting their ass higher up. Supposedly it’ll give her a better angle? Who knows at this point...

Weiren has to cover their face for a moment, cheeks burning at this position. Vicouryn comes to their side, an arm coming around their upper back to support them as she sits next to them.

“Weiren,” she says gently, and they let their hands fall, “Are you doing alright?” 

She’s checking in on them, making sure they’re still okay. They try to not look at the leather toy protruding from her pelvis and brushing against their leg.

“Yea,” they answer, “Good, and excited, just a little nervous.”

“We can go very slow,” she says reassuringly, touching their cheek gently. They share another kiss, but this one’s short. “Shall I begin preparing you?”

Weiren exhales and nods. They’re already a little more sensitive from just having come, so maybe it’ll be easier? 

To their surprise she begins to touch their chest, brushing against sensitive spots.

“I’ll touch you for a good while,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to their pectoral, “to make sure you’ll be ready.” And she does exactly that, for a longer time than they would have expected. They’re not sure how much time passes, but for several minutes the vampire focuses herself on touching them, _all_ of them, stroking their skin, like she’s taking care of them. She leaves behind kisses all down their arm and watches them as she presses her lips to their knuckles, and then she returns to their chest, stimulating them further as she trails her mouth across them. This part is more relaxing, as Weiren takes in how slow the queen is meaning to go, for her pleasure and for their comfort. She leaves behind a few marks, sucking at the skin of their neck, which is familiar to them. Then she rises back, giving them a kiss that they can focus on as she cups their face. 

She pulls away after a moment, gazing at them with certainty in her eyes.

The hand on their face slips down, and Weiren watches as she reaches to the side where she’s placed the now-open jar of lubricant. Her fingers dip into the viscous oil, and that’s all they see before she pulls their face against hers, pressing her lips to theirs. Right, kissing helps. The paladin tries to focus on these sensations, tracing their tongue along Vicouryn’s teeth and pulling her upper lip between theirs.

There’s a cool touch on their stomach, and the queen drifts her hand down their body, leaving a trail of fluid behind. They have to pause in reciprocating the kiss as they’re intimately aware of that hand, dragging down their pelvis, passing by their core and going beyond it to find Weiren’s entrance. That’s where the touch stays, circling on their skin until they return to kissing. Even just this is a lot, and Weiren feels the butterflies of excitement coming. Vicouryn takes her time there, making them melt with her deep kissing and just moving her fingers across them, not entering or anything, just touching, making their anticipation spark higher and higher. Already their arousal is returning, and she hasn’t even reached inside yet.

Vicouryn pulls back from their mouth to kiss down their jaw to their neck, and that’s where she stays for some time. Weiren closes their eyes, breath coming faster, and then she’s pressing a single finger against them, so gently. Their legs spread wider on reflex, trying to give her more room, and as slowly as she’s been doing everything else, the finger enters, only partway, and they gasp. Then Vicouryn’s licking up their neck to kiss underneath their ear, and the finger withdraws. A moment later, and the movement continues.

It’s shallow at first, Vicouryn reaching just a little bit and moving in and out, maintaining that depth, spreading the lubricant inside, and Weiren feels their breaths come even quicker. It’s a strange feeling, since they’ve never been penetrated like this before, but it’s weirdly nice. She spent so much time accommodating their body to her touch there that they can only want _more_. Their body certainly wants more; their hips keep wanting to move against her, to let her press deeper, but they try to stay mostly still.

It’s when she bites gently on their earlobe that the finger pushes in up to the base, and Weiren lets out another trembling gasp.

“Good?” she says against them, cold breath sending a shiver down their back.

“Yes,” Weiren manages to say, somehow.

“Does it hurt at all?” she asks next, lifting her head to look at their face properly.

Weiren shakes their head; it’s easier than making words right now. With that answer she continues to move in and out of them, smiling down at their half-lidded expression. 

“I will take my time to _ensure_ your pleasure,” Vicouryn says, curling the digit, “You’ve never been taken in this way, and as always, there will be much preparation.”

Weiren bites their lip, their body still trying to get used to this sensation of that finger inside. It isn’t that big, so it doesn’t quite hurt, but the toy is several times thicker than that, and they aren’t sure they’ll be able to take it even with preparation. It isn't overly large or anything, honestly it’s about their size but again they haven’t ever had anyone reach into them like this before.

“Good to know,” they say, glancing down to follow that pale arm as it reaches past their stomach to disappear between their legs, and then she’s thrusting that single finger in just a bit faster and they gasp again, their body tensing.

“Relax,” she says, voice both controlling and soothing, “and breathe. It will feel better if you do.”

They try, exhaling shakily, trying to loosen their muscles, and she continues to touch them like this, calming their body with her words but stimulating it with her touch. She stays with just that one finger for a long time, longer than they thought she would, just like when she was touching their body before ever getting to their interior. Many minutes pass, too many, as she draws inside them, pushing in at many different angles and pressing against all of their sides, stretching them further and accommodating them to this. Vague discomfort laced with unfamiliar pleasure turns to a good comfort over time, Weiren’s body becoming warmer and warmer with every second. Somehow Vicouryn is just content to take all this time for them even if she isn’t receiving any pleasure from this, somehow she is so patient for them, preparing them over so many minutes.

Then there’s the pressure of another slim finger, and Weiren can feel the slight stretch with that, but it doesn't quite hurt, though the discomfort returns, their muscles freezing in the moment.

“You’re tense,” the queen comments, the two digits buried up to the base inside them as she pauses her motions, “Relax. We will take all the time we need to prepare.”

Weiren forces another slow exhale as their body tries to relax around her touch, their muscles trying to just get used to this and be alright with it.

“There we go,” Vicouryn says in a low tone, pulling the fingers back until just the tips are still in them, and they take another breath.

Then she reaches inside, all the way, and her fingers curl just a bit, and there’s a spark of pleasure as she finds what must be their prostate. Weiren arches their back as a moan falls from their lips, and she chuckles, letting her fingers retreat. She doesn’t hit it everytime, deliberately making them _want_ it, but she does every so often, dragging more sounds out of Weiren and stoking the fire in their spine. The fingers then thrust a bit faster, getting them used to this size, and she goes at different angles, hitting different parts as she leisurely stretches them out.

Like with the first finger she takes her time with the pair. So much longer than they thought but as a vampiric elf Vicouryn must be so incredibly patient. Long enough that she needs to reapply more lubricant, slicking their entrance and interior further to reduce the friction. Then more minutes pass, Weiren feeling so on the edge they’re just a trembling mess of drawn-out pleasure. At times she just sheaths the fingers and then waits, letting their body calm down around her for a few minutes as she returns to focusing on kissing them, spreading her attention back to their lips and neck. Then after she deems enough time has passed, she resumes the preparation, thrusting quickly and then slowly, but never enough to actually make them come even if it surely has been long enough that they’re ready to do so again. 

“I-I’m really… close, again,” Weiren whispers, now on their own last threads of patience because they _want_ to come again so bad, _gods_ their body wasn’t made to be pleasured this long so constantly. Vicouryn ceases her motions, but leaves her two fingers inside.

“You will not come again until I am properly inside you,” she says, tone both gentle and commanding, “I will finish preparing you, first.” Weiren’s looks at her, eyes wide as blood rushes through their body, somehow her commanding tone increasing their arousal even more.

“I don’t- I don’t know if I can last-” 

“You _will_ ,” she says, firmly, “I will make sure of it, and once I am done we _will_ find your pleasure again.”

Weiren swallows nervously, staring into her dark eyes, and she looks so sure of her words, and they wonder what she must be thinking of them like this.

They don’t know how to reply but somehow they believe her, and then she keeps those fingers halfway inside, unmoving, as she just claims their lips once more. They can tell, painfully, that she’s making their body calm down, dimming the flames of pleasure so that she can stoke them once again.

Finally she pulls away, dragging her lips across their cheek.

“Now,” she says, “one more,” she whispers in their ear, and Weiren’s just hanging onto her at this point, so sensitive and trembling that they can’t do much else. They nod in response, gasping.

She pulls back from their entrance and dips her fingers back into the jar, and then there’s three digits pressing against them together. Weiren inhales sharply, wanting it so bad and then she’s slowly entering, knowing it must be driving them crazy and all at once they realize they’ve shifted their hips to get her to reach farther.

“Eager, are we?” she says, amusement in her tone and Weiren’s actually been trying to hold themself back this whole time, wanting Vicouryn to be in control of everything, and their blush darkens as she presses those three fingers all the way in, splaying them as best she can to widen the space, and it makes Weiren let out a louder moan, though for them it’s still pretty quiet. There’s more of a stretch, and now a much more noticeable burn, but it isn’t too bad. Somehow it is a good burn. She presses against their prostate again, dragging against it, sending flares of pleasure through their body and they jolt, crying out again as she works them. Then she’s thrusting those three altogether, reaching so deep and touching them in ways they’ve never been touched before. Weiren’s already hard again by this point, and they feel like they might come undone with just her fingers, but she seems to be aware of that, moving slowly enough to not push them over the edge. Weiren’s breathing so hard now, so close again to the same peak they just hit within the hour. Or has it been even longer? How long has Vicouryn been fingering them, keeping them so full of this pent up pleasure? Half an hour? An hour? Two hours? It can’t have been that long but Weiren doesn’t know, their time blurred in Vicouryn’s expert touch. Again, like with every step of this buildup, she keeps to these three fingers for a very long time, preparing them so well.

“Gods, I-I think I’m ready,” they say breathily. Though they know Vicouryn wants to take her time with them they’re so wound up they feel like they need her to go farther _now_.

“Really?” she says, in that feigning ignorance way, as she strokes them on the inside again.

“Yes!” Weiren gasps, gripping her tighter.

“For what?” she asks, and _gods_ is she really doing this now? “What do you want, Weiren?”

“I…” They begin, breathing heavily, “I want _you_ t-to take me.”

She comes closer to their face, fingers slipping out of them, and she whispers in their ear again. “You want me inside you?”

Lips pressed together, Weiren nods.

“I am _happy_ to oblige,” she says, voice husky as she withdraws. Her position shifts, her arm retracting from behind them as she settles between their thighs, kneeling so that they can see each other, and the sight is almost too much for them. She lifts their legs so they’re braced against hers. Weiren looks up at her, warm and aroused, and she meets their gaze for a moment. Then she’s reaching down, slicking and guiding herself to them, finding them, and then there's a gentle touch against their entrance. Weiren forces out another exhale, trying to relax their tense muscles, and then she’s pushing inside.

It’s like the air just leaves their lungs as they stop breathing, afraid to move or react as Queen Vicouryn enters their _body_. Their muscles can’t help but tense again, and there’s more of a stretch now. Maybe she’s about an inch in, but she stops moving for the moment, focused on their face. Weiren remembers to breathe as their body tries to get used to this intrusion that won’t go away. Then she resumes, pushing deeper, and Weiren’s gasping the whole way as she sinks inside, inch by inch, relentless and slow until her hips are flush against them. Oh gods.

They feel so incredibly _full._

Three fingers was a lot but it’s still less than _this,_ and their body is tensing and then relaxing and then tensing again, their interior somehow flickering with embers, a strange burn that aches but so deliciously, the stretch of this inside them laced with the pleasure of their nerves being touched. Weiren has never felt like this before, and the moment lasts for so long, Vicouryn giving them plenty of time to adjust, and somehow beyond their delirium of pleasure and fire she’s stroking her hands up and down their legs, giving them other sensations to relax them. They’re breathing so hard but with her gentle touch their body slowly relaxes, still not fully comfortable with what’s inside them but at the very least they’re stimulated by it, a bittersweet ache that pervades their senses. Surely with time if this happens more frequently the bitterness will fade away, leaving nothing but pure pleasure, and that is quite indeed something to look forward to.

It’s _wonderful_.

Vicouryn leans over them, her hands coming to either side of their head and her hair falling around her face. This forces Weiren’s legs up more, and they just hang onto her with them, wrapping their legs around her waist as they breathe, in that moment of stillness as she’s entered them entirely. They reach to her, touching back.

“Weiren,” she says, dipping her head to kiss their neck, “I’m taking you now.”

“Go ahead,” Weiren says, exhaling, “I’m all yours.”

And they are. Vicouryn’s touched all of them, now even deeper inside than ever before, because they’ve given all of themself to her.

“With pleasure,” she hums darkly, and she starts a smooth, slow pace, still being very careful of them and their comfort. They like how she’s leaned over them, so that they can see each other’s face while she reaches inside them, hips rocking in a controlled measure. The leather brushes against their prostate as she adjusts her angle and Weiren gasps sharply. Vicouryn takes note of this, and maintains that angle, speeding up just a little bit and sending hot jolts of pleasure through their body. They can’t even think anymore, lost in the sensations as the vampire takes them from within. All they can do is hang on and look up at her pale face through half-lidded eyes as she thrusts inside them, hitting delicious spots that make them tense and moan. If they were in any other position they might have been able to join her in the motions but in this one they’re just left to take whatever she’s giving them. Perhaps in the future they’ll try out other positions…

A particularly deep thrust hits and they moan again, barely aware that they’re leaking more arousal, and then the queen picks up speed. The slow, rolling thrusts give way to faster, sharper motions, and she hits that sweet spot every time. One by one her hands find theirs and pull them off her waist so she can hold them down to the bed, entwining their fingers intimately as she continues to move, drawing forth more and more pleasure. They have enough sense to think about how they like holding hands, and then that thought is shaken away as the queen maintains her pace and finds their parted lips, kissing them hungrily even while fucking them. Weiren’s having a hard time reciprocating properly but they try, even though they’re just full of this growing pressure that builds larger with every second. The tension and arousal in their core is so much, _too_ much, it’s more than they’ve ever felt before. They don't even know if they can handle coming again this soon.

Vicouryn shifts again, a slightly different angle, and then there’s sparks flicking through their body, joining the growing fire that feels like it might just burn them up. They’re so hot and flushed and ready to just come apart at the seams under her touch, ready to just be entirely hers. The queen licks her way into their mouth aggressively, tasting them as they taste her, and it’s wonderful, so wonderful, and she’s somehow even faster, and it’s when she’s reaching so deeply into them that their mind just goes completely blank, overwhelmed with a sensation that rocks their entire body, a cry falling from lips but the queen just swallows it, continuing to kiss and thrust as they shake underneath her. Their body tenses and releases in waves as the sensation passes, Vicouryn slowing her motions down to a stop as Weiren just becomes limp on the bed, breathing hard and unable to do anything but lie there for the moment.

They’re aware of her pulling out and shifting out from between their legs to come to their side, sitting beside them. Weiren’s senses return enough to look over and see she’s cleaning off some come- _theirs -_ from herself, and they glance down to realize there’s some on their stomach, too. With their positions it’s no wonder it hit them both.

They don’t have time to apologize for getting it on her before she’s wiping their chest clean, and they just watch, a little worn from the events, until she drops the cloth on the side and turns to focus on them again. 

“You did wonderfully, Weiren. How are you feeling?” she asks, touching their face. Weiren just extends their arms around her waist and leans into her, warm and satisfied though now feeling empty, their body now confused with this sudden lack of _her_ inside them.

“Amazing,” they say softly, and then glance up, “But I want you to come, too.”

“And I want to keep fucking you,” she returns, “if you are feeling up to it.” Weiren swallows as they sit up a bit more, meeting her eyes.

“Maybe after I can give you some pleasure?” They suggest. If she took them anymore they might be too tired to properly give her attention, and frankly they thought that was going to be the end of the penetration, though they aren’t averse to more. It's just… a lot.

It’s a lot, but gods it felt so good.

“A fair trade,” she says, undoing some of the buckles on the harness, and Weiren realizes she isn’t wearing anything underneath it. Sometime earlier she must have removed her undergarments. The two of them change positions, Vicouryn guiding them as she sits back, legs splayed and a knee up in a very confident, languishing pose. Weiren sits between her legs, gazing at the fabric still covering part of her body, her chest.

“Would you… want me to touch here at all?” They ask, gesturing to her. It’s commonly used as a source of pleasure, from what they’ve read. The vampire glances down, and then with a simple motion she undoes a single fastening at the front and it just falls open, surprising Weiren because she’s never shown that part of her before. Her chest is smooth and pale, no hints of any scarring from the time ago.

“Touch away,” she says, taking one of Weiren’s hands and pressing it against her heart, and they let out a breath at the chilled sensation. But they aren’t going to focus here yet. They’ve got a plan, to work from her face down to her core, because she deserves the buildup and care she gave them. 

“I will, thank you,” Weiren says, smiling, “Please feel free to guide me; I’m still new.” They lean in to kiss her cheek, just an inch away from her mouth, as they begin to move their hands. Sliding from her breast they run their touch down her arms and back up to her neck, brushing the backs of their knuckles down the sides of her face as they kiss her ear.

“You’re doing just fine,” she murmurs, unmoving and relaxing in her position. They lick the shell of her ear at that as their hands now move back south, to trace a path down to the sensitive spots on her chest, where they circle their fingertips around her. Vicouryn lets out a cool exhale and threads her hands in their hair, not pulling or pushing but just touching. Then their mouth joins their hands, Weiren letting their lips drift down her skin to her chest, where they’re lightly pinching nipples that harden underneath their touch. They run a hand down her side as they lick and kiss at her breast, taking their time to just touch and bestow sensations as they’ve learned Vicouryn likes to do. A moment later, and they feel brave enough to pull a nub between their lips, as gently as they can for fear of going too hard, and swirl their tongue around it, all while they continue to tease at the other one.

Vicouryn strokes their head, patting them as they touch her, and they smile against her skin before moving to stimulate her other nipple. They have to savor this touch as much as possible. Still grazing her with their fingers, they rise back to kiss the other side of her neck, and then lick her ear again, at which she shivers just a little bit. While they’re up here they press another kiss to her mouth, and she seeks and reaches into them again, exhibiting control even if for the moment she is giving them the opportunity to have more agency as they explore her body. Her hands in their hair pull them towards her, their own hands falling to her waist as they kiss. Then she releases the hold, breaking away wetly, Weiren breathing and flushing.

They shift back on their knees, trailing fingers down from waist to hips, tentatively still, and then finds purchase on her cold thighs. Weiren exhales, she’s very low to the ground and they don’t have a great angle.

“Could we, um, add a pillow?” Weiren asks, thinking it might help, and the queen chuckles.

“Of course,” she says, changing her pose and cushioning her bottom appropriately, Weiren passing her the pillow they’d used. This definitely helps, and the two settle back to their positions, Weiren now with a very, very direct view of Vicouryn. She looks like she may already be aroused, and when they slowly slide a hand from thigh to core, their finger drags through wetness, confirming that. 

Weiren looks up and down, never really having had this kind of a view of a vulva, but they know the main parts from their own experience of having one from time to time. Vicouryn doesn’t have much body hair in general, but there is some that trails from the bottom of her stomach to her pelvis.

Their gaze shifts up and they can see Vicouryn watching them, languid and relaxed, but curious to see what they’ll do. Starting slow, Weiren simply runs light, grazing touches across her, first on her thighs and then coming closer to her core. Two fingers they run along her, sliding along the outside of her labia and then tracing circles around her, spiraling down in smaller shapes until they dip shallowly into her where she’s incredibly wet, and then they retreat, spreading her arousal to allow for smoother movement.

Weiren presses their lips together as they work slowly, gazing down at her. They know what some people do in order to give pleasure.

“Would… you mind if I had a taste?” They ask, making brief eye contact as their cheeks burn. Fingers are one thing but perhaps they could give her even more pleasure with their mouth. Vicouryn’s eyes widen slightly at the assertive request, probably unexpecting.

“I would not,” she says, tilting her head, “But only if you are comfortable with that.”

“I’d like to try it,” Weiren returns, licking their lips briefly as they caress her sex. For her, after all the endless pleasure she’s bestowed upon them, absolutely.

She nods at them, a slight smile on her face as they dip their head to kiss at the tops of her thighs. Soft and light, they touch her with their lips until they trail closer where their index finger still rests, running up and down.

Eyes flicking up to see her face, Weiren extends their tongue and lets the tip touch her at her core, and licks up. They can see her exhale when they do, and they repeat the motion, this time with a little more pressure, and her shoulders rise for a second as she tenses and then relaxes. 

Weiren presses the flat of their tongue more firmly against her and drags up, bypassing her clitoris to circle around it, and with their finger they begin to reach inside, pressing forward. Though they are eager to see her expressions as they tend to her in this way, they let their gaze fall so they can better focus on this. It’s a little experimental as they try different patterns, going slow to see how she reacts, finding what seems to be most pleasurable and working with those. Feeling brave they purse their lips around her clit to suck as lightly as they can, and her hips shift forward.

“Is this okay?” they ask, backing away for a moment, wiping briefly at their mouth. Their tongue is a little tired but they want to keep going.

“Yes,” she says, slightly strained as they look at her, “You are doing very well.”

They get back to it, now with a smile as they can see the slight blush across Vicouryn’s cheeks. So often she is the one who makes them flush but they like to see that they can do it to her as well. It continues for a time, Weiren trying different motions and then asking if she likes it. With her active guidance they find what she enjoys most, though as it goes on it turns more into Weiren noticing the way she pushes against them and the way her breathing becomes uneven. They can feel and taste more of her arousal as they continue, dragging their tongue through her labia as they slide two fingers in and out, multi-tasking because it seems to be more effective and she’s said she liked it. It’s been interesting, too, considering how cold she is against their mouth, and they wonder if their warmth makes a difference. 

Vicouryn doesn’t actually produce verbal moans, but she does gasp and exhale sharply, and that’s what they’re paying attention to as they increase their speed. Weiren hooks an arm around her thigh to get a bit more leverage, and continues for several minutes. They’re intending to go as long as it takes to get her to climax, though because there’s been plenty of stuff that happened beforehand it shouldn’t be much longer. They’ve added a third finger and are now focusing back on her clit, circling around it with their tongue before sealing their mouth around it and laving it directly, coaxing it from its hood but with a gentle touch, Weiren not wanting to be too aggressive. The queen’s breaths come faster, and when they glance back up her eyes have closed and her lips slightly parted, the red on her face even more prominent than before. 

“I am close,” she says breathily, and she reaches to place a hand in their hair again. Her eyes open briefly to make eye contact and they nod against her to show they don’t mind, and then she’s fisting their hair and pushing their face more against her. Her hips are reacting more than before, too, sometimes jolting after a particularly firm lick coupled with their fingers curling up inside her. Now very accustomed to this position they keep their eyes trained up on her, very curious to see her face when she finally comes, and every so often she opens her eyes to look down at them too, but then she averts her gaze, as if she doesn’t want to see how they’re watching her.

Weiren gently bobs their head as they continue to pleasure her, and her hips are reacting in turn, rolling against them and her grip keeping them firmly against her. It’s a little harder to keep up the motions of their hand like this but they know that clitoral stimulation is more effective so they don’t worry too much and instead redouble the actions of their tongue, trying to touch all of her. Then, with another lick, her body tenses, back arching as her force on their head increases. Her eyes are shut as her mouth parts just a little bit more, but it is still subtle. There’s a crease at her brow as she trembles, and there’s _more_ arousal coming against their tongue. Weiren doesn’t stop, still moving but slowing down as she finds her climax, until her body relaxes and she’s just breathing deeply. Her grasp loosens, letting them pull away to get a fuller picture of her, mostly nude and basking in the aftermath of an orgasm, and thinking about how she trusts them so much to allow them to do this for her. Their tongue appreciates the respite from the constant motion, though, and they simply gaze up at her, smiling fondly as they wipe at their mouth.

After a moment she sits up and looks at them, still faintly red.

“Weiren,” she says with an exhale, her head gently shaking as if in disbelief, “Come here.”

They go shyly, coming to her side as she extends her arms, and she pulls them into an embrace, skin against skin and they press their face into her shoulder.

“You did _very_ good,” she murmurs, “so eager to please, aren’t you?”

“Thanks,” Weiren says, turning to fit more closely against her, “and of course; I love you.”

There’s a pause as they say this. The arms encircling their waist tighten just the barest amount.

“True,” she returns, “You do. Thank you again, for that.”

Weiren pulls back to look up at her.

“Anytime,” they say, and press a kiss to her flushed cheek. Words can’t really describe the gratitude they feel for her, allowing them to express these feelings of theirs and continuing to spend this kind of time with them. It feels so free to be openly affectionate.

“ _Anytime_ ,” she intones, “You say this so frequently to me. What are all the things that fall under this _anytime_?”

“Anything,” they reply, sinking back into the hug, their forehead against her neck, and she exhales.

“You want me to do anything to you at any time?” She repeats. They think, and nod.

“Yea,” Weiren says, languishing in her hold, “But I’d tell you if I was uncomfortable or didn’t want whatever.”

“I see,” Vicouryn returns, “Yes, tell me if that ever occurs. I may still ask before doing some things, however.”

“That sounds good.” It really does. They’ve really liked everything she’s ever done to them.

One of Vicouryn’s hands moves.

“So you would not be averse to more, now?” She asks, fingers sliding down their back, “I still _want_ you.”

Gods. What words she says!

“I’d love to keep going. Take me,” Weiren says, “But I am a little tired. I don’t know if I can do too much, myself.”

“It is of no consequence,” Vicouryn says as her voice gets lower, “I will take care of everything.”

The vampire shifts Weiren so that they’re straddling her legs, their knees pressed into the mattress, but they’re more slumped forward across her front, head still tucked in the crook of her neck and with their arms draped over her shoulders. It maintains the embrace, though Vicouryn’s arms curl past their waist and reach down to grip their butt. With this, Weiren's length is a little trapped between their bodies but Vicouryn doesn’t seem like she’s going to be focusing on that part.

Rather, they think, as a cold hand leaves and comes back to their skin, wet with more oil, she’d prefer to reach _into_ them, after all. They remain relaxed, body warm and well, freshly-fucked, to be honest, as she presses her palms into their body. Weiren lets their eyes close as they hug her, breathing deeply and letting their limbs rest. The pressure is nice as she strokes their body, letting her hands rise to their back and then back down to their ass, and each time she descends, her fingers come closer to their entrance. They’ve had about fifteen or twenty minutes, they guess, since she took them in that way, so they’re probably still well-prepared, though the queen seems intent to work them back up slowly. Weiren’s fine with that; slow seems very nice. 

Despite already having come twice, her touching them still provokes a reaction, and surely she must be able to feel how they begin to stiffen against her, what with them pressed between their stomachs.

“I haven’t even done much,” she muses as a hand dips down, her finger brushing across their entrance teasingly, “And yet you’re already getting worked up.”

“That’s just how much you _ah_ , affect me,” Weiren says, breath gusting against her shoulder. A cold, slim fingers breaches them, and yep, they’re still prepared, and it slips inside so easily.

“Oh? I suppose that makes sense,” she says, slowly moving that finger around. Though the position they’re in is intimate, it seems to make it a little harder to fully reach into them. It doesn’t stop her, though, and she’s content to just curl it inside and press around. “I _am_ the one you like you so much, after all.”

Another finger reaches alongside the first as Vicouryn’s other hand settles more firmly on a cheek, and Weiren realizes she’s going to be using _both_ sets of fingers. It reaches all the way in, and they press in opposite directions. _Oh._

Weiren buries their head into her, now, breaths becoming uneven. She chuckles, and they harden further, and they gasp.

“Perhaps next time I’ll bind you again,” she says as she moves both index fingers around, deliberately widening them and spreading them out, “And I can just keep touching you all throughout the night. You’d be unable to move, and I’d be in complete control.”

“Sounds- hng, sounds fun,” Weiren says breathily. 

“You would like it, wouldn’t you?” She says next, her voice taking on that dark, controlling tone, “Helpless to resist, only able to _endure_ as I did whatever I wanted. _Anything_ I wanted, as you’ve said.”

Weiren shudders as her touch retreats only to come back more slicked, a single middle finger joining the other two initial digits.

“Anything,” Weiren affirms as they adjust a knee, feeling a bit restless. She doesn’t speed up, but she takes her time as per usual, fingering them leisurely and in no rush. 

“How wonderful it will be,” she says, “to find out every sound you can make. To see you come undone over and over again, by my touch alone.” 

Weiren lets out a ragged gasp as her other middle finger is added, and now there’s _four_ , and the pairs are moving against and opposite each other. Their arms tighten around her and they’re having some trouble finding proper words.

“You _are_ mine, after all. It is only right.”

Her words send flashes of heat down to their core, and by now they’re fully hard against their and her stomach.

“Y-yes,” Weiren manages to say. A few more minutes pass, Vicouryn moving in a relaxed manner as she winds Weiren up even further and whispers dark words that make them flush.

“Let us move, Weiren, to make this easier,” she suggests and Weiren lets themself be guided again. They’re rotated so that they lie across her lap, their hips right over hers and their length hanging down between her thighs. Gods, like this, their ass is just propped up by Vicouryn’s legs and she must have a great view of them right now. They press their face into the comforter beneath them and watch as she pulls one of the cloths underneath her thighs, probably to catch whatever come Weiren will be producing soon. She presses her legs together, putting pressure on their length, and they let out a moan as they grip the sheets. Now like this her touch returns, and she slowly, one by one pushes her four fingers back inside, this angle allowing for deeper penetration and they let out a whine as she finds their prostate.

“I wonder how long you can endure,” she says as Weiren pushes their forehead into the bed, so on edge, “You seem to be so close again.”

“Probably not for much longer,” they whisper, breathing hotly. Not with the added stimulation to their core, definitely not.

“I see,” she says, and her motions cease, her legs relaxing, “Perhaps we should wait, then.”

Weiren almost wants to scream into the bed because as always she’s pushed them so far and they _want_ to come again, now, but she’s playing her games. Instead, she hums softly and busies herself with soft caresses on their back.

“How long… are you planning to go?” They ask, a little terrified. They feel so needy.

“A good question,” she says, a teasing tone to her voice, “I love to see you like this, so perhaps a nice while. Half an hour? An hour?”

Weiren inhales as they squeeze their eyes shut. How torturous that will be.

“Really?” They ask, lifting their head to look back at her.

“Maybe.” She smiles at them and pats their head. They have to wonder if they’ll survive such an experience. Vicouryn reaches to her other side and fiddles around with the harness she’s taken off, though it’s out of view, but eventually she’s holding the length in her hands, now detached from the harness. Oh, gods. Weiren lets their head fall back to the bed. “Spread your legs a bit more, Weiren.”

With her hands moving them, their legs come apart even more, offering Vicouryn more space. They wonder how enjoyable it is for her to just do this to them. They’ve come more times than her but she seems content with that. 

She hums again, and then Weiren feels the tip of that familiar leather pushing against them. Another shuddering exhale, and she presses it into them, reaching deeper than her fingers and touching that sweet spot inside, and they let out a strained moan. The motion is constant and unyielding as it fully enters them again, all the way up to where she’s holding onto it.

“There we go,” she says, and simply stops again, leaving them deliciously full but not doing anything further. Gods! Her hands run down the backs of their thighs as she waits a bit. The burning in Weiren is strong but it fades with the minutes as Vicouryn lets them have respite, but _gods_ at what cost? They want to protest but also they don’t want to. Letting her do what she wants is something they quite enjoy.

This continues for a time, Vicouryn stimulating them until they’re gasping and then just stopping, stringing them along this line of pleasure. They don’t even know for how long; it’s too hard to tell.

“You’re doing so wonderfully,” she murmurs as she works them yet again, sliding the leather in and out, impossibly slowly.

“Ng,” Weiren gasps, their patience fraying on their last threads, “I’m going to _die_ if you keep this up.” They tense as they breathe, trying to remain still.

“Hm?” Vicouryn pauses her motions again, “Are you not enjoying this?” She asks innocently, and then she pushes it in all the way, nudging their prostate deliberately.

“Ah!” They let out another moan, gripping the sheets so hard their nails are pressing into their palms. “Vicouryn, _please._ ”

“Please? Please what?” She asks, now moving the toy in a circular motion, making it press against different parts, and they’re writhing because it feels so torturously good but it’s too slow to bring them release. She twists it inside of them, and they cry out, and then she stops _again_. “Tell me what you want, what you need.”

“I-I want…” Weiren tries, trembling and bright red, “I want to come.” Saying it is a little embarrassing but they know she wants to hear it, as evidenced when she was stroking their length personally not that long ago.

“Do you now?” She asks, as if thinking it over, and drags the length out only to thrust once back in, harder this time and they jolt, pleasure sparking through them. “How?” 

How? Weiren doesn’t know how to answer as she taps her fingers rhythmically on their back.

“Like this?” She says, and she gives them another but slower thrust, “Or would you perhaps want me _personally_ to take you again?”

Oh, so there’s _options_ they can pick, but they don’t normally like to be the one making decisions.

“Either, whichever,” Weirens says, uncaring because they’re so full of need that it doesn’t matter how it comes at this point.

“So indecisive,” she muses, “I suppose I’ll just have to do both.” 

With that her free hand takes a firm grip on their hips, and she begins to fall into a more consistent rhythm, forcing more cries from Weiren’s lips as she finally begins to properly stoke the fire that’s been forced to keep alight for so long. But gods, _both?_ Is she planning to make them come two more times? Can they even survive such a thing? Certainly the idea of her taking them again is appealing but their stamina is drained and they don’t even think they _could_ come again. 

Their hips begin to jump against their will as she picks up speed, deliberately aiming to hit their very-stimulated prostate every time. She presses her legs more firmly together around their own length and they moan, now finding more touch on both front and back, and they’re so damn close it’s barely a few minutes before she drags yet another intense climax out of them, Weiren shaking under her ministrations and crying out again. Their mind is so vague and just wrapped up in chasing pleasure, and they become limp, needing to breathe and recover for yet the third time. No doubt if they had any come left at all it’s now on her legs. Gods.

“This is so much,” Weiren breathes, so worn out but their body warm and tingling from the post-orgasmic bliss. Is this what it’s going to be like from now on? Terrifying but wonderful, full of so much touch and pleasure?

“We were separated for quite some time, and last night was far too… _hasty_ for my preferences,” Vicouryn says, running soothing fingers through their hair, “I intend to make up for the lost time.”

With her help Weiren moves so that they’re just lying on the bed, and they put a hand to their forehead as they stare up at the ceiling. Gods. How is Vicouryn like this? Certainly they were interested in being intimate with each other, but she really wants to do a _lot_ . Turning their head she’s cleaning off her thighs with a cloth, and their blush intensifies remembering that yeah, they actually did come between her legs, somehow, and oh gods. They went from having so little sexual experience to… _this_ in the span of two days. Somehow she still doesn’t even seem that tired, but they suppose she isn’t the one who had, what, three different releases in one night? They wonder how she just wants to keep doing all these things to them; does it really make her that happy? To be fair, though, she did also express being deprived of touch for quite some time, but clearly she’s had enough experience to know this much. Perhaps she just hasn’t been able to indulge herself, sexually that is, for a very long time until they came along, willing and wanting.

When they come back to the present from their tired thoughts, Vicouryn's walking back from the washroom and has re-equipped the harness and re-attached the length and shit, Weiren already forgot she wanted to fuck them one last time, properly though and not with her hand. It does feel pretty damn good, though, and even if they're spent they think it’d be nice to go for one last round, though they severely doubt they’ll be able to come anymore.

“Tell me how you are feeling, Weiren,” she says as she comes closer, reaching to touch their arm.

“Good, but pretty tired,” they answer, looking up at her, “It’s been fun, though. We can keep going but… I still don’t think I’ll be able to do much.” 

Powerful paladin or not their body is just not equipped to handle the exhaustion of multiple climaxes considering how infrequently they had them prior to Vicouryn. They can work through the fatigue of battle and travel but this is a whole other thing. 

“You will not need to,” Vicouryn says, and brushes the side of their face, “I am content to do anything and everything, as long as you are enjoying it.”

“I am,” Weiren affirms, “I always like everything you do.” Yea, even when she does force them to dance on the precipice of release for too damn long. Their body has never felt this good before in their entire life, honestly. She’s figured out so many ways to bring them pleasure and she just wants to keep giving it to them, so much. They’re unaccustomed to it but perhaps they think they could get used to it. 

“So very good to hear you say that,” she says, implications in her tone, “There is more in store for you, in the future.”

Gods. 

“Can’t wait,” Weiren says tiredly but with a small smile. Vicouryn smirks darkly at that and climbs back onto the bed, directing them to adjust their position again. They roll onto their front, letting their hands relax near their head, legs coming straight out and together though a pillow covered with a cloth has been placed underneath their hips to elevate their pelvis a bit more. Thankfully it’s similar to the very low-effort relaxed position they were just in, but instead of them being draped across her lap, she comes to straddle their thighs, her knees on either side of them. 

“Just relax, Weiren,” she says in a low voice. There’s a second when they can feel the dribble of liquid, and they realize she’s adding more lubrication, which is probably for the better. Then she’s leaning over them, her chest pressing against their back for a moment as she embraces them tenderly. They can feel the toy against them, trapped between their bodies for the moment. Long locks of hair tickle them as she whispers close to their ear, “And enjoy. You deserve to _languish_ in pleasure for a long, long time.” 

Weiren feels their cheeks heat at the comment, but she can’t really see their face. With that, she pulls back, probably sitting upright again and now guiding the tip back to them, for the third time. Three times in different ways she’s reaching inside them, because they belong to her. How fortunate for them...

Just as she has been, she enters them slowly but surely with a steady pace that makes them exhale up until her hips become flush against them. Though she’s been assertive before, she has never actually been rough with them. Even when teasing and fucking them, she’s been very careful and deliberate in her motions. That doesn’t change, and she simply falls into a leisurely rhythm that is less about driving them crazy and more about just a nice, consistent, sensual motion that they relax into. Having come so damn frequently their body is loose and limp and needs a break from constant climaxing but there’s still pleasure to be found as she touches them. Weiren’s sure if it goes on for long enough they might start climbing the peak of another release but for now it’s a little more simply enjoyable. They wonder if they’ll last longer when they have another set of parts, but surely they’ll find that out in the future.

“How is this?” She asks, her voice measured as she rocks slowly, not currently focused on finding that spot of pleasure in them.

“It’s nice,” Weiren answers, letting their shoulders sink as their eyes close. They’ll probably fall asleep soon after this, too tired to even focus on meditation. “You’re nice.”

“Good,” she says, pleased, “Then I will continue.” Her pace slows but only a bit, still in a languid manner and they sigh into the mattress, feeling content. There’s no more suggestive words now, just the sound of Weiren’s soft breaths as the queen moves in and out of them. 

At some point she sheaths herself inside entirely and spends some minutes pulling their hair to the side and pressing her lips to their back, tracing the paths of a lightning scar. Weiren feels even sleepier, the gentle touches and the darkened room all serving to tell their body to rest. Hands plant on their shoulder blades as hair brushes their skin, and then she’s kissing the rim of their ear.

“You have so much energy,” Weiren comments, folding their arms to rest their cheek on them, and she laughs against them, her cold breath coming on their skin.

“I do,” she says, “Plenty of it. I am content to use it to make you fall apart.”

Weiren laughs, too. Go figure.

“But I will be done soon, and we may retire together. I would very much like to hold you when we do,” she adds, and then she’s leaning back again to resume her slow thrusting. It’s been long enough that Weiren thinks their refractory period might be over, maybe. Vicouryn really does enjoy taking her time, after all, and there’s been so many stretches of minutes where she simply takes as long as she can to touch them.

“That sounds-” Weiren gasps, their words cut short as the queen adjusts her angle to now instead find their prostate, “Ah, that sounds- _nice._ ” 

They wonder if they’ll be sore tomorrow from all the fucking that’s occurred. Certainly it’s the first time for them to be penetrated, that’s for sure.

“Would you like to come once more?” She asks, maintaining this angle though still at the sensual pace. Weiren’s feeling good and though they aren’t dancing on the fringes of ecstasy they do feel the start of that pressure inside again. It feels like a small fire that perhaps Vicouryn could feed, just once more for tonight.

“Yea,” Weiren says, nodding into the comforter.

“Wonderful,” Vicourtn returns, and they can hear how pleased she sounds, “If you ever desire such a thing, at any time, you need only _ask_.”

Gods, Weiren thinks. Allowing her to do what she wants is one thing but proactively seeking and asking for her to make them climax is a whole other one. Besides, they’re already coming _plenty_ with just her own actions.

Vicouryn more firmly places her hands on their hips as she rolls into her thrusts, pressing more against different spots inside. She is properly stoking the fire now, aiming to arouse them again to another orgasm.

“Though I am certain you will already find many _without_ needing to ask,” she says, and yep, that’s about what they were thinking, too, “I will give you _many,_ for as long as you are here.”

Imagine if they stayed with her _forever,_ being able to tell her they love her every day, and then falling into her arms every night, for as long as they lived. Weiren’s dreamed about meeting the love of their life and finding a home to share together for the rest of their time, and this is the closest thing they have to it even if their relationship with the queen isn’t quite what they imagined. To be honest even if they fantasized about finding love, deep down they always felt as if it was something out of their reach, that it wasn’t something they deserved.

But gods, after everything they went through, after all the things they’ve done, don’t they deserve to have this? To have someone accept all of them, including their love, and to take care of them and give them the intimacy they've dreamed about for so long? Even if she doesn’t love them in the way anyone would expect for two people so close together, this is still something that makes them so blissfully happy, and don’t they deserve to stay with her for a time, giving each other touch?

“I’ll be here… for a time,” Weiren says, words interspersed with a few deep breaths, “Even if I go, I’ll always want to come back and see you again. I’ll always return for you.”

“You will _always_ be welcome here,” Vicouryn says as she reaches deep yet again, and the pressure begins to build, “this room is yours for however long you need it, even if you… depart, for some time.”

Weiren bites their lip at that thrust as it stimulates their sensitive prostate, and then her words make their way through their head.

The room is just theirs now? Forever?

“That’s- that's so nice of you- ah!” Weiren grips the sheet underneath their fingers as she thrusts again, and not only are they full of this physical pleasure but their heart is full of love, too. 

“You may stay as long as you need,” she continues, “for as long as I reign, you need not leave if you do not wish to.”

Her motions slow for a bit as they talk, which is interesting to say the least. Weiren’s brain is clouded with pleasure and desire but somehow they sense another meaning behind her words, maybe, but it’s hard to concentrate.

“Thank you,” Weiren says, panting in the brief pause.

“As we’ve said, I’ll have you for as long as you desire, and Mevaden will, as well.”

It’s strange how insistent she is with this point, they realize, and they become more aware of the cold hands holding onto them so firmly, holding them as if she doesn't want to let go. At the moment they’re having trouble replying properly with words.

She is offering so much but there’s another intent. She is not saying this just to be generous, they slowly realize as she resumes her motion, but it seems as if she might be saying this because of what Weiren said earlier, about leaving and returning.

 _She doesn’t want me to leave_.

Weiren’s eyes flutter closed as that thought bounces around in their head, the only coherent one amongst the desire and building climax that is occupying so much of their mind. Vicouryn picks up her speed, continuing to aim and hit their most sensitive spots, quickly and easily growing the burning inside.

_She doesn't…_

Their ability to string together words falls away as the queen now thrusts faster, her hips snapping forward to hit that spot inside of them over and over, as she’s already done so many times tonight, and they cry out as the sensations overwhelm them. They will be climaxing again, surely, but perhaps not with anything coming out of them. They grip the sheets as she keeps it up, still without her making any sounds beyond strained breaths, her hips colliding with them as she takes and takes. Then they’re barely aware of arms wrapping around them, sliding underneath their body and a chill touch all across their back, but still without her motions stopping. It’s here, with the queen pressed against them and holding them close that Weiren feels the release coming. 

There’s a sharp pain in the back of their right shoulder that comes exactly when their core pulses, sending waves of pleasure cresting through their body, and somehow they’re able to realize that she’s biting them, and that only intensifies the climax as they moan. Their body shakes but is held perfectly in place by the queen’s iron grip, her hips flush against them as she remains inside while they tremble in her grasp. _I’m hers, I’m hers…_

She hangs onto them for the duration of their climax, almost possessively, still with her fangs in their flesh, though it doesn’t feel like she’s draining them, and they weren’t expecting another bite but _oh_ it's another mark from her to them, another gift of her touch, and they love it.

Finally, Weiren’s body relaxes after their fourth and final release of the night, and Vicouryn continues to hold them, though she pulls her fangs out and focuses on tending to the wound while Weiren recovers. Now they’re basically exhausted, though in a good way, but they don’t want to move. Vicouryn could just enter her trance right now and stay inside them and they’d probably still fall asleep.

Now in the aftermath of sex, Weiren’s able to think a bit more and they focus on the sensation of Vicouryn licking up their blood and pressing soft kisses to the wounded area. It’s a strange but pleasant feeling as always. 

“Thank you,” Weiren mumbles tiredly, “felt really… good.”

There’s a pause in her ministrations.

“Of course, though…” she trails off for a second, and Weiren wonders if they hear any fluster, “I had not meant to… bite you again. My apologies.”

Oh wow. Vicouryn got so caught up in fucking them that she bit them without realizing it at first.

“No worries,” Weiren says, laughing faintly, “You didn’t even drain me, and I liked it.”

There’s another pause.

“You really do enjoy it that much? Hm,” she returns, “Still, though, you will need to take time to recover before you offer any more blood.”

Vicouryn returns to gently stroking their skin with her lips, taking care of them after all that’s happened, and they relax further. A hand slides out from under them to run through their hair.

“Your bite is what got us so far,” Weiren muses, “I like how it feels and… I don’t know, I guess I like that it’s another one of _your_ marks.”

“My bite? Weiren, it is due to _your_ offering of your blood that we ended up here,” Vicouryn says, moving up their back to their neck, “It is thanks to _your_ action of… kindness.”

There’s another brief pause as she kisses their shoulder. Weiren takes that in; she views the start of their relationship, however strange it is, to be from _their_ doing?

“But I am glad to know you like it. I will mark you as many times as you want; you are mine, after all.”

Yes, gods, everytime she says it…

“Yours,” Weiren echoes, happy.

“Indeed.”

With that, Vicouryn pulls out, leaving them feeling strangely empty, and there’s some shuffling noises.

“I’ll clean up; you may rest,” she says, and already they wish she was still holding them.

“Mkay,” Weiren says, and they turn their head to watch her. She’s shrugged off the remainder of her chemise and is taking off the harness, and so she’s just as exposed as Weiren is, they realize. She grabs a few cloths from the nightstand and heads towards the washroom, perhaps to dampen them, and Weiren sits up and searches for all the used ones to toss into the basket. Even if they’re very tired they want to help a little bit, and they put away the container of lubricant. By then Vicouryn’s returning, still fully nude, and Weiren looks at her wistfully. Such a wonderful person and they’re so close to her.

“You did not have to tidy up, but I appreciate it,” she says, glancing down at the basket, and then she’s climbing back onto the bed.

“I like to help,” Weiren says shyly as the queen reaches towards them with a soft, warm cloth. She sends them a small look and then focuses on wiping off any lubricant or come that might have gotten on them; she seems to have already cleaned herself off. As always her touch is gentle and considerate, and then she’s dropping the cloths into the basket as well.

Weiren finds all the discarded clothes and puts them together, a bit more out of the way, though like last night they fish out their undergarments. Vicouryn, too follows suit, but she leaves the chemise off, and then she’s pulling back the comforter for them both. She gathers Weiren into her arms as they both lie on their sides, her body spooning theirs and a cold leg coming to tangle with theirs. Her arm is draped across their torso, and Weiren finds her hand, resting their own on top. 

They feel so content, body warm and loose and tired. but overall pleasant after all the pleasure they experienced. And especially pleasant being able to feel Vicouryn holding them.

“Love you,” Weiren murmurs, pressing a kiss to her hand. They’re just a few blinks away from passing out entirely, honestly.

“Thank you,” Vicouryn whispers back, and her arms pull them closer, her knee pressing into the back of their bent leg, their bodies fitting together so perfectly. 

They drift off quickly, comforted by her touch, and she continues to hold them through the hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty art made by urs truly bc these 2 are all i can think of. sexy time art can be found on my nsfw twitter @lemonweiwen


	4. Sweet Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicouryn learns that Weiren has a few more troubles hidden away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains at least 1 (One) emotion  
> i cried while writing it Lol but i cried more writing the next chapter SWEAT
> 
> TAGS: none i think lol just some uhh kissin n makin out and emotional hurt/comfort

Vicouryn is brought from her trance by the sound of what must be a stifled sob.

She opens her eyes in concern, and she realizes the paladin in her arms in trembling. Their back is to her, so she can’t see their face, but she can feel their motions. She’s been holding them flush against her, after all.

Bracing herself up on an elbow, the hand she’s draped across their waist slides up to plant firmly on their shoulder, hopefully in a reassuring manner, but the paladin turns their head away to press into the pillow more.

“Weiren,” she says, quietly and with concern in her voice, “Are you alright?”

There’s another soft sob.

“It’s fine,” they answer in an uneven voice, still hiding their face, “J-just a nightmare. Don’t worry about it.”

The queen narrows her eyes, and she reaches farther, bringing her hand from their shoulder to their hair. Part of her wonders of the implications of their nightmare coming just after what the two of them did.

“What about?” She inquires.

Weiren turns a bit to look up at her with a single teary eye, and immediately she feels another surge of that need to protect them.

“You want to know?” They ask, as if mystified by that question.

“Tell me,” Vicouryn returns, and then after a moment, “if you are comfortable with that, that is.”

She’s had her fair share of nightmares over her centuries, anyway. Especially after she nearly died.

The paladin rolls over in their spot and presses their face into her chest, their arms looping under hers to grip her shoulders, and they let out another shuddering breath. Vicouryn blinks in surprise. She’s taken them into her arms when they were in distress previously but this is the first time they’ve initiated it. How comforting is it even to run into the cold embrace of a vampire? Vicouryn rubs slow circles on their back, hoping it helps.

“I thought they might go away when I got back to Mevaden,” Weiren whispers, “I’ve had them on and off during the war, but ever since it ended I’ve been having them more frequently.”

No doubt Weiren has gone through traumatic experiences during the war. Intuitively she thinks that perhaps now that they no longer have the war and other overarching goals to focus on, their body must finally be dealing with all the things that actually happened. 

“I don’t normally talk about them,” Weiren says, hugging her close, “I just try to forget.”

“You may talk about them with  _ me _ ,” Vicouryn says, “I imagine bottling them up does you no good.”

There’s a slow, trembling exhale against her.

How many nightmares have they had? How many times have they woken, shaking and sweating, unable to talk to anyone about them? Not to mention so many of their dreams must have been stolen away, replaced by those strange visions of Ana Arkova.

“I have said I will care for you,” the vampire continues in their silence, “And I will think nothing less of you if you tell me.”

“I just... I’ve been pushing so many of my feelings onto you,” Weiren whispers, “I don’t want to… overstep. I don’t want to burden you.”

Vicouryn then holds them tighter. Even now they’re still thinking of her, when they’re the one who just had a nightmare. She wonders how someone can be so kind.

“I’ve accepted all of you, Weiren, including your troubles. You are no burden; you are a gift.”

The body in her arms begins to shake again, even more, and she realizes that their tears have started again. She doesn’t know what else to do other than continue to hold them. Their fingers dig into her shoulders as their distress continues. Did she… say the wrong thing?

She does not have much experience in comforting someone in tears other than Weiren, and normally she just holds them while they calm down.

“I’m sorry,” Weiren sniffs, “I’ve just never had… someone like you. I always just… try not to think about the bad things. Didn’t have anyone I wanted to talk to about them. You're so  _ nice. _ ”

Gods. They’re in tears because they’ve never had someone treat them with the care and attention they deserve? 

Not only is Vicouryn the only one privy to their issues with touch and intimacy, but now she realizes she seems to be the only one privy to  _ this  _ side. The side where they try to hide away their hurt, but there’s so much of it already that it overflows in the form of tears. Have they never confided to their friends in the Crystal Concord?

“I dreamed that I lost you,” Weiren says quietly, “Over and over again. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we hadn’t been able to help you back then; if you didn’t wake up. It  _ hurts _ .”

Vicouryn is stunned.

“I don’t know where’d I’d be anymore,” the paladin says, “without you. I kept dreaming you were in danger, and I couldn’t help. It’s stupid; I  _ know  _ you’re strong and you’re not in danger but…” They trail off, voice fading.

She’s still stunned. She knows that Weiren likes her an incredible amount but to the point that nightmares in which they lose her bring them this much pain? How much does she mean to them, really? How much  _ love  _ do they harbor?

Vicouryn pulls back so she can see them properly, and they have such a broken expression on their face, and it pains  _ her  _ to see it.

“I’m right here,” Vicouryn says, “with you.”

She gently brushes a tear from their face as they cast their eyes down.

“Look at me,” she says, lifting their chin, “See me? I am here, and you are here, and I am fine. You are fine.”

Weiren tentatively lets their gaze rise back up to her face.

“That helps,” they say quietly, and one of their hands moves from her back to her face, touching her cheek gently as if making sure she isn’t an illusion. A soft sigh falls from their lips. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Vicouryn returns, but as always it surprises her just how much comfort they derive from being able to touch her. She would not consider herself a comforting person. Weiren brushes their hand along the frame of her face, and it’s such a soft, warm touch that she wants to relax into. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” they say, gently trailing fingers down her jaw before letting their hand fall back to the bed. Weiren exhales again, breath a little steadier than before. “And I’m glad that I was able to come back. There have been… many times I thought everything was over.”

Vicouryn presses her lips into a line as she listens. She knows they lead a dangerous life, not just as a paladin but as an adventurer, a  _ knight _ . 

“You need not fear that anymore,” she says, “for you are safe within these walls.”

“It feels so weird now that the war is over,” Weiren admits, “Back then I didn’t have time to think about other things, but now that it’s over, sometimes all I can think about is what happened. What almost happened, I guess.”

They’re opening up more, Vicouryn realizes.

“I will listen,” she offers, “if you want to share.”

Weiren gives her a timid smile.

“Maybe later,” they say, “but thank you. Just being here with you is enough.” There it is again. A jump in her chest. Something racing. She pushes the thoughts away so she can focus on the present. 

“I may be busy much of the time, but should you ever wish to talk about anything, I will listen,” Vicouryn says firmly, “ _ Anything _ . I want you to be comfortable while you are in Mevaden, and I will do my utmost to make sure you are… happy.” If they need to confide in someone it  _ must  _ be her. She will be the one to take good care of them.

Weiren stares up at her, lips parted in slight surprise, and a redness darkens their cheeks. Oh, she’s flustered them again. A beat passes.

“Well, then, um,” they say, “If-if you ever want to talk, too, I’m all ears.” How considerate, though she’s pretty sure she probably won’t put such a thing on them. Perhaps their touch is something she can allow, but confessing her troubles is another level of vulnerability that she cannot, not that she has troubles. The paladin has been through enough. Besides, she’d rather just shower them with attention and luxury. She nods in response.

“How kind of you to offer,” she says. They offer such a thing when they are already so fragile. The world doesn’t even deserve them; they are so overwhelmingly kind. She can hardly even say  _ she  _ deserves them but they want to be hers, and so they are.

“Not as kind as you,” Weiren returns, “You’ve done so much for me. I don’t know if I can ever repay you.”

“There is no debt, Weiren. You have done much for me as well, and you are already  _ mine _ , and you are staying here in the manor with me. There is no need for any repayment.” Vicouryn shakes her head subtly. It’s always intriguing when they call her nice. It’s not how she would describe herself. All her life she has been powerful, intimidating, strong, cold, controlling, but they’ve so frequently called her nice and wonderful, despite seeing otherwise. What a rose-tinted view they have of her.

“Yours,” Weiren repeats, snuggling a little closer, “For as long as we want.”

They always seem so happy when she says that. She tightens the arm around their waist and pulls them closer, swinging a leg on top of theirs as she rolls onto her back, so that they follow and end up partially overlaid on top. This way they can rest on her chest, with her arm around them. They seem to quite like that position.

“Mhm,” she hums, “all mine.” There’s a moment as Weiren’s hand quests out searchingly, until it finds her free hand, and they thread their fingers through hers. Another beat, another jump. Vicouryn exhales slowly, forcing herself to calm. Their hand is so  _ warm _ . She’s taken their hand when they were engaging in their touch, but even when she isn’t planning on giving them pleasure they seem to like holding hers. 

“Can I… have a kiss?” Weiren asks, bracing themself on their other hand and rising just enough to look properly at her face. “Before we rest again.”

Vicouryn holds their gaze, and the hand she has resting gently on their waist slides up to cup their face as she nods once. There’s another soft smile on their lips at that, and another jump in her chest. Slowly they lower their head towards her, tilting it properly, all the while her hand holds their cheek. This is a less familiar kiss, where they come to her as opposed to her kissing them, but it’s what their positions allow for best. Their lips come against hers, warm and soft, and the jumping in her chest comes faster for some reason. The paladin grips her fingers a little tighter, and she finds herself hoping they don’t let go. Certainly that’s just her body enjoying the contact of another person, and nothing else. 

Vicouryn has taken the lips of this paladin so many times, and in more aggressive ways than this one, and it hasn’t ever made her heart jump, so obviously that is not what is occurring now. She’s taken and claimed their mouth with her own, and she’s reached inside to do so quite frequently. She has done so many more deep and intimate things with them; just in the last several hours she  _ fucked  _ them over and over and marked their body, so it wouldn’t make sense that a simple, chaste kiss like this could make her feel anything strange. 

And then it’s over, Weiren withdrawing to return to their previous position, resting partly on her as they hold her hand. The thumping is stronger now, more than before. It must be Weiren's heart; they always seem to get jumpy after a kiss. Now that they’re lying on top of her it must be easier for her to feel it.

“Good night,” she says, though the sun must already be up. The curtains are thick enough, though, and it does not disturb them.

“Night,” Weiren whispers, “I love you.”

For some reason, Vicouryn has trouble falling back into her trance.

***

Unfortunately, as always, Vicouryn is busy and so she must depart Weiren for her work, and she spends the day and night doing her duties with thoughts of a certain paladin dancing in the back of her mind. Nightmares aren’t so unfamiliar to her; in her brief rests she’s been struck with images of her vampirism being exposed, her people turning against her, her enemies making their way into her manor. But she has learned much control, and she has confidence in her personal guard and in herself, so they are not so frequent. Furthermore, she almost always puts herself into a trance, not to sleep, and in that state she can choose to meditate on other things. She does not like being at the whim of whatever her subconscious creates. Surely the paladin can just meditate, too? They have entered trances before, but there have also been several times in which they just fell asleep. 

Weiren is an interesting sort of elf. Perhaps if they really had no proper family, then they may not have learned how to best control their thoughts in the way most elves can.

Exactly how much did they miss out on, coming from poverty in a corrupt nation with no family? Though Vicouryn did not have a typical upbringing she did have a family, and with it she had support and knowledge. She trained, learning the ways of rule and how to control her hunger, how to use her powers and also how to keep them secret. Weiren did tell her a bit about their past but they were vague and unclear. No family, so were they entirely alone? Did they have any friends? Did they have a place to call home, a roof under which to sleep? Or were they left in the streets, sleeping in alleyways and vulnerable to danger? Did they have to beg to find food, or did they have anyone take pity on them? Certainly things must have improved for them when they found their temple, but for how long did they struggle, alone and hungry, at the whims of the despicable, corrupt Vangath?

What did they do, back then, if they were overtaken by a nightmare? Were they left to weep, alone, in the darkness of an alleyway? What did they do in the last few years? Did they talk about it to their Crystal Concord at all? Or did they swallow back the lump in their throat and force away their tears, pretending everything was fine because there was a war they had to focus on?

Every thought she has only intensifies her desire to somehow protect them. They’ve been so damn vulnerable before her that she  _ has  _ to take good care of them. The world has been too cruel to them and so they  _ must  _ be showered with attention and care.

So it is during one of her breaks today that she has Nahlia fetch the paladin; she has the intent of finding out more about their troubles so she can figure out the best way to deal with them. If Weiren is to spend time in her manor and be happy, then she will not let them bottle up their negative emotions to the point of tears. Hopefully she is close enough to them that they will want to open up; though, another part of her says that if she manages to get that close, it only means they will be  _ more  _ attached and less likely to leave. If she can provide everything they need - touch, intimacy, care, nourishment, lodging, comfort, a shoulder to lean on - then they will want to stay with her, right? They can stay in the manor, just down the hall from her own chambers, within reach for whenever she wants to indulge her desires, for however long she reigns. 

Vicouryn scoffs at herself. The paladin is a person of their own right. She does not  _ need  _ them to stay with her, and if they want to leave for whatever reason then she has no right to stop them. And she does not  _ need  _ to engage in intimacy; she has abstained for many decades at a time and she can abstain for more if necessary. Really, they’re the only one she wants to touch, because they are so obviously hers, and she knows that they like whatever she wants to do. She already knows they are no danger to her and she knows that they’re… in  _ love  _ with her. Finding another person so adequately compatible with her desires seems unlikely. So, if they did go, she would simply have to cease until they returned.

_ If _ they returned...

That thought throws her off. Of course they would return; they  _ said  _ they would, and they’re head over heels in love with her. There is no need to worry about them not returning, because that’s impossible. And it’s not like they’re a human, where their life is just gone in the blink of an eye. They’re an elf, too, and so they will live quite long and have much time to spend with her.

_ If  _ they didn’t perish from something else…

Vicouryn presses her lips into a thin line. Surely that will not happen. Despite their reserved nature they are a powerful paladin that was able to take care of Lord Varis, defeat Empress Arkova, and end the war. Not to mention that they have the protection of a deity with them; enough that she cannot even confidently use her vampiric charm on them.

She wonders exactly how strong they are. She’s seen them in their armor, and at most she’s seen them chase Varis, but she has never actually seen them fight. It just means she still feels like she needs to protect them. Normally when she sees them, they’re merely in common or fine clothes, not armed. Even if they appear strong and muscled, they seem to fall apart so easily before her.

Vicouryn glances up as the door opens, and a tired-looking Weiren shuffles in. Despite their fatigue, a smile brightens their expression when they see her, and she does like to see them happy. She offers them a nod as they approach.

“Weiren, come,” she says, gesturing for them to sit beside her on the chaise lounge, and they do, very obediently.

“Hey,” they greet warmly as they sit down, but there is only a second before she puts an insistent arm around them.

“Lie down,” she says, patting her legs with her other hand.

“Oh, sure,” Weiren returns, scooting farther away so they can recline properly. She guides them down, setting their head on her lap, where she can feel their warmth. They look up at her, their hair spilling out around them and over her knees. What a wonderful sight; her spirits lift just by having them here. “How has your day been going?”

“Fine,” she answers, twining a lock of brown hair around her finger as she gazes down, “better, now, that I have this respite. You, on the other hand, seem a little fatigued.”

Weiren leans their head away at that last part, sighing as their expression briefly falters. She strokes a hand down the side of their face while her other tangles gently in their hair.

“It was hard to rest,” they say, “Too tired to meditate, but…”

“The nightmare,” Vicouryn finishes for them, “it is unfortunate you had that.”

Weiren nods, still looking away with a slight frown before turning back to face her.

“But I had a really nice time before that! With you, I mean,” they append, “really.”

Vicouryn wants to smirk but she settles with a subtle smile. Of course they enjoyed her showing them all that pleasure. They enjoy everything she does, after all.

“I, as well,” she says, “but back to the nightmare. You mentioned you might want to talk about some of the events that occurred while you were away. I believe it may help with reducing those nightmares.”

Weiren draws their brows together as Vicouryn runs a gentle touch along their hairline, brushing away a lock. They reach up and touch her wrist; Vicouryn allows them to take it, and they simply press her full palm to their cheek as they exhale. Oh… that’s one of her favorite things that they do. Not only allowing her to touch them but holding that touch so close, as if they were afraid she’d let go.

“I just… I just wish I could forget them instead,” they whisper, eyes closing, “I don’t want to think about them.” They turn their face more into her hand as her free one continues to trace paths along the other side of their face. 

“You do not have to discuss them if you truly do not want to; however,” she says, “we all have experiences that shape and affect us, and it does not do to ignore them. It is important to acknowledge them; otherwise, they may haunt you for years to come.” Some things you cannot ignore, she knows. 

Something hot touches her hand, and she blinks as she realizes a tear has spilled out from one of their eyes. Oh, shit, fuck, no, not  _ again _ , she’s somehow made them cry  _ again  _ and it’s only been two  _ days-  _

“If-if I ignore them, there are no tears,” Weiren says, opening their eyes but not looking at her, “but just thinking about what could have happened… I can’t stop them.”

Their grip on her wrist tightens as the tear rolls down, and then there’s another. Vicouryn stares, a pounding in her ears as she understands. It’s not her, but it’s the things that’s happened to them.  _ What  _ has happened to them? What have they hidden away so deeply that the mere mention of it breaks the dam holding back all of their tears?

“I don’t normally talk about these things… these troubles… with anyone,” they confess, “because I know this will happen, and I don’t… I don’t like to cry in front of people.”

“Have you ever shared any of these things with anyone?” She asks, concerned, not that she shares her troubles with anyone else, because obviously she can  _ handle  _ it, unlike this fragile, goodhearted paladin before her. Somewhere in the back of her mind there’s a voice that says even if they don’t like crying in front of people they’ve cried in front of her multiple times, which doesn’t that mean she is very close to them?

“You,” Weiren whispers, “I’m talking about it with you, now.”

_ Just  _ her? 

“Everyone else in the Concord went through similar or worse,” they say, “they all had their own troubles to deal with.”

Gods be damned. Her eyes narrow as Weiren presses a palm to their exposed eye, the other safely hidden by Vicouryn’s hand. Just as they said, the tears do not stop, but it is not due to any issue they have with her, thankfully.

“Tell me,” she says, more forcefully than intended, “Tell me all the things that are haunting you. If you have not spoken about it with anyone all this time then  _ I  _ will hear it. You gave yourself to me and I want to know everything that has happened to you.”

Weiren stares up at her in surprise, mouth slightly parted as they let out a trembling breath. Vicouryn blinks and realizes what she’s said.

“ _ If  _ you are feeling up to it,” she adds, glancing away. Even if she wants them to talk she doesn’t want to hurt them or intimidate them.

There’s a pause as she looks away, berating herself for being too aggressive when they are in such a delicate state. Perhaps she wants to know and she wants to say that they belong to her and thus they’re  _ required  _ to talk, but that is too much, too controlling. If they are to open up she wants it to be of their own volition.

“I thought I wasn’t afraid of dying,” Weiren whispers, prompting Vicouryn to look back, eyes widening, “But I realized I’m really afraid of dying  _ alone _ .”

Their eyes are shut as they continue to cry, trying to be quiet. She holds her breath, waiting to hear what else.

“It’s so stupid; I’ve been so alone for most of my life that it shouldn’t matter,” they continue, and then they’re wincing. Vicouryn holds their other cheek, trying to give them comfort. “There was a time… it was a while ago, last year. Before we were in Gedal.”

Understanding dawns on Vicouryn. Could this be what happened with the Blood Knight?

“When we were escaping Brauven,” Weiren says, and then they have to take a minute to swallow, wiping at their eyes, “We had to run to safety. I was holding the back of the group, but someone was chasing us.”

Her eyes narrow; it must be.

“The- the Blood Knight,” they whisper, as if saying the words hurts their throat, “I was at the back, and I couldn’t get away, and everyone else was so far ahead. I should have been glad that everyone else was okay, but…”

Weiren trails off as the tears continue. Vicouryn stares, taken aback. Should have been glad? That they were dying? Dying to the brutal hands of the Blood Knight, famed for his strength and prowess on the battlefield?

“But?” she prods gently, running fingers down their hair, wondering what they’ll say.

“I found myself wishing someone was with me,” they say, barely audible. “I should have been glad I had a worthy death but instead all I could think about was how I was alone, and that I’d never see anyone I cared about ever again. That maybe if someone else fell behind with me I wouldn’t be so alone, but isn’t that a horrible thought?”

They’re hit with another set of sobs, trembling under her delicate touch on their face, and she continues to stare, wordless and shocked.

“I-I thought about you, too,” Weiren says, pressing a palm to their eye, “I thought I was really dead. I don’t know if I should have survived.”

She’s… she doesn’t even know how to describe this feeling. Anger? Indignation? Her emotions roil but she tamps them down; Weiren is too vulnerable right now and they must  _ need  _ a gentle hand.

“Sit up, Weiren,” she says, softly, guiding them to a more upright position, and then she simply wraps her arms more fully around them, a hand pressed to the back of their head and another around their waist, holding them tightly. What does she even say to all of these feelings they’ve let loose? Weiren returns the hold, their grip shaking on her back as they cry, and thinking of how vulnerable and sad they are almost makes  _ her  _ want to cry. They thought of  _ her  _ when they were dying, even before the events of Gedal. 

“Of course you should have survived,” she starts with, pressing their head into her shoulder, “You are strong, and good-willed, and compassionate, and you have done so much since then and helped so many others. If it had been someone else you would not tell them what you are telling yourself: that they should have been glad.” There’s a pause as she lets them take that in, and then she strokes the hand down their hair. “There is no shame in fearing solitude.” She would know, after all.

“I.. I always thought that if anyone had to die for the safety of others, it had to be me,” they say, “Everyone else is important, and has people relying on them. I don’t even… No one really relies on me in that way so I always thought it would be for the best. I’m not a leader, I don’t have a family. Not many would miss me if I died.”

Vicouryn’s grip tightens. If they had died, she never would have seen them again. Never would have found them in Gedal and pressed a regretful kiss to their lips and learned just how much they seem to like her. Never would have heard them confess their love.

“ _ I  _ was waiting for your return,” she says, in a low tone. She’s taken aback at this level of lack of self-confidence; don’t they know how much  _ she  _ likes them? How much she appreciates their touch and their love? How much she wants to have them all to herself? Certainly they seemed to be more confident upon their return after the war but deep down they still harbor these dark and negative thoughts.

“I, yes, I needed to give the quill-” Weiren’s saying, and she’s shaking her head.

“I was waiting for  _ you,”  _ she repeats, more forcefully, “My partner, my  _ companion _ . Were I there I would not have let you fall.”

There’s a brief silence.

“And even though you may fear solitude, you are not alone now. You are here, with me, and I am with you. That man cannot hurt you anymore,” she says, gentler now as she realizes her aggression is leaking out again. “Anyone would wish for company when in their last breaths, Weiren. You are not unkind for wanting something like that.”

“I… I always thought I was meant to be alone,” Weiren finally whispers, “but being beside you has made me so happy.”

Weiren buries their face into her neck as their breaths slow.

“I know I need to be kinder to myself but it’s so hard. You’re right.” Weiren lets out an exhale against her. “I know I’m not alone anymore… but I might always be scared of that.”

So they are aware that they’re being too hard on themself. They're wiser than she thought.

“You will always have me,” Vicouryn says, decisively, “Every night, I will make certain you are not alone. As long as you are here I will be with you.”

As much as she wishes she could say anytime, her damn day is taken up with meetings and business and work and there is no guarantee she’ll be available during the day. She’s caught up in maintaining her kingdom, what her father left to her. But at least she can give them her nights, those precious hours past midnight and before dawn, when she can bask in their warmth until it is time to retire, and they can wrap themselves in each other while they rest.

“I… I love you so much,” Weiren murmurs, “You’re so considerate and wonderful and nice. Thank you so much.”

They thank  _ her _ ? Unfathomable. She is the one who is thankful to them for showering her with their love when she cannot even give it back. Maybe if she wasn’t a queen it wouldn’t be so unthinkable to fall in love. But she must carry on her family’s legacy.

“This is the minimum level of treatment you deserve,” she returns, “but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“You’ve said that before,” Weiren says, a little amused, which is nice to hear, “but you're the only one who has treated me so well.”

“Then everyone else is a fool,” she returns, “Fools who do not recognize your worth. But I know, and I will make certain you know, too.” They’re like the damn sun, a rare beacon of goodwill and warmth that thinks of everyone else before themself. A sun that has fallen in love with  _ her _ . Vicouryn will take good care of them. She must. She is sure there will never be someone like them ever again.

Weiren laughs, now, and it is a delight to hear. She wants them to be happy.

“Thank you,” they say, squeezing her close, and she does, too. She will never let them go, for as long as they want to be with her. “And it did help, to talk about it. I feel lighter somehow.”

“Good,” she says, “You may share anything with me. You should not be weighed down with the past, and I will eagerly listen to anything you want to say.”

Weiren should only look to the future, the one where they stay with her and are happy to be with her. A selfish part of her hopes they have no one else they may want to visit for the time being; she would rather they stay here and spend all their time with her, instead.

“That goes for you, too,” Weiren returns, “I will listen if you ever want to talk about anything.” Ah, again, they offer this, though she is certain she will not take them up on that. 

“How kind of you,” she says, “Thank you.”

“Thank  _ you _ ,” they say back, pulling away so they can see her face. Their eyes are red and there’s the remnants of their tears but there’s a smile on their face. Vicouryn feels something twist inside her chest but she ignores it and instead looks at them, tilting her head just a bit. “Can I have a kiss?”

_ Always _ .

She doesn’t care that their face is a little swollen from weeping. They just opened up about so many feelings that they keep locked away.

Vicouryn tilts her head further and leans in, not even verbally replying because she will always kiss them whenever they want, and she pushes their head towards her with the gentle hand in their hair. Cool against warm, their lips touch, soft and wonderful. She isn’t about to pin them down and kiss them to breathlessness but this kiss seems to be somehow a powerful one. It deepens a bit, their tongues coming into brief contact but she does not reach into them, merely showing care to each of their lips. It’s more sensual this time, slow and delicate as she takes care of them. She leans down to recline, still holding them in her arms though and the two lie like this, Weiren firmly in her solid grasp as they kiss on the chaise lounge where she touched their scars back in the past.

Eventually their lips part from each other and she finds them content to lie beside her, their bodies facing each other and their head against her chest, her chin fitting on top of their hair. She’s holding them still, thankfully.

“Is there anything you normally do after such an emotional moment?” Vicouryn asks, running her fingers down through their hair, “Something to lift your spirits?”

“Hmm,” Weiren hums, thinking, “Sometimes a friend would split something from the bakery with me. She’s a street performer, and sometimes she had extra to spare.”

“So you did have friends, before the Concord,” Vicouryn says, both a slight sense of relief and disappointment in her, “What would you get?”

“I had some,” Weiren agrees, but not elaborating, “We’d get bread, or a pastry, or something. Whatever she could afford, I guess. She wasn’t well-off, either.”

That will not do. Vicouryn will request an array of desserts from the chef after this meeting and bring them to Weiren later tonight.

Her thoughts on that matter come to a stop as Weiren sighs against her.

“The nightmare I had this morning… it was one I’ve had before,” they confess. The one in which they lost her?

“Really?” She asks, urging them to say more.

“This was also a while ago… but it was part of what I saw when I wore the cursed necklace back in Kandor. Us not being able to save you.” Weiren presses their face more against her, but they seem to be done crying for now, “I saw a lot of terrible things and it was so long ago, but sometimes I see those things again.”

“How unfortunate that you experienced such horrible visions,” she says, brushing her fingernails down their scalp, “But I am not so easily killed, and you took care of that threat. Not only do I have my personal guard, but I have a powerful paladin beside me, now.” 

“Oh,” they say, shyly, “I suppose you’re right.” Not that she needs their protection but surely it helps them be at ease, knowing what they’ve been through and how much they’ve overcome, that they can physically be near and see that she is alright.

“Indeed,” she returns, sighing softly. She feels like she could lie here forever, but she only has a brief window of time before duty will call upon her again. She wonders what it might be like if there wasn’t a longstanding legacy left to her, if she didn’t have to shoulder Mevaden as her father did before, and as his mother did before him. However long her family extends back.

Of course Mevaden is her pride and her family’s pride, though it isn’t as if she had a choice in taking it; that decision was made for her already.

If she didn’t have to spend so much time devoted to ruling Mevaden, life would be very different for her.

But that feels unthinkable. Mevaden is all she was and is, and all she will be until her reign ends. When will it end? It is uncertain, but her life will continue for quite some time, surely she will live past her reign? Surely there will be a part of her life beyond this kingdom to which she has been sequestered for so long? A life in which both she and they could go elsewhere, perhaps so she could finally give them that relationship they deserve, the kind where they could walk outside and hold hands because they deserve to experience a simple love like that, even if she does not love them back?

Would they even want to wait that long? Would they not eventually tire of this life in which she does not reciprocate their feelings and want to seek someone else?

She does not know.

For now, all she can do is hold them and listen as they share their troubles, stroking their hair and hoping they will want to stay with her for the foreseeable future.

***

It is incredibly uncommon for Vicouryn to find herself walking the halls alone with a tray in her hands, but yet here she is, a few minutes after midnight, standing before the door to Weiren’s room. It’s one of the larger trays, too, and filled with a variety of covered small cakes, pastries, and pies. She thinks quantity will be better so that Weiren can try many things and find out what they like the most, and then she can have the chef make more of that specifically.

The scent of fruit and sugar is so strange for her, especially so close. She rarely consumes actual food, let alone desserts like this. The cook definitely had to have been surprised by this request, but no matter. Hopefully they will enjoy this and find something they quite like.

Vicouryn balances the tray in one arm and nearly goes to open the door, but she stops herself. 

She should knock, shouldn’t she? Before entering someone else’s bedchambers, that is. The previous night she just waltzed in as she’d simply been planning to just come in and take them, but now she’s here with a tray of desserts, and they’ve had an emotional day, so shouldn’t she show a bit more courtesy? And perhaps they might be in the middle of something. Well, Weiren didn’t seem to mind yesterday, but...

She presses her lips together, and gently raps her knuckles on the door. Normally if she is entering a room in which other people already reside, her attendants or guards open the door first, but with Weiren she comes alone. It is a strange thought to realize that something as common as  _ knocking  _ on a door is so unfamiliar to her. Why is she thinking so hard about this?

The door opens, revealing none other than the paladin she wants to see, who has a slightly surprised expression on their face. Obviously seeing the Queen of Mevaden like this, alone and bearing a tray, is an uncommon sight.

“Vicouryn, hello!” They greet, looking up at her and then down at the tray in her hands, their brows drawing together, “Um, come on in...”

She narrows her eyes a bit and steps past, feeling strangely awkward as she does so, and sets the tray down on the low table by the fireplace.

“Good evening, Weiren,” she returns as they shut the door, “Come here.” She sits on one of the armchairs and then gestures for them to sit across from her.

Hmm. Was that too cold and commanding? But wait, Weiren likes her commanding nature, right? Are they doing better since their last meeting?

It is uncharacteristic to harbor so many second guessing thoughts for her. She shakes the thoughts away.

The paladin comes over, still with faint curiosity but mostly with a fond smile on their face. Unexpectedly they come first to  _ her _ and then press a short kiss to her cheek before going to the other side of the table, sitting down on the chaise lounge. Vicouryn lets a short breath escape her; the paladin has been more forward in touching her with these chaste kisses since reuniting and she isn’t sure how to feel about it. Of course the sensation is warm and pleasant, but it is just strange for them to do so when they aren’t about to be truly intimate. She really only expects their touch when she is about to get much more physical. 

“You’ve been more forward than I’ve been expecting,” she finally says, crossing a leg over the other.

“Oh, um, is that okay?” They ask, eyes widening as if they’re worried it might be upsetting her, “I can stop, if you want.”

She matches their warm, dark hazel gaze. The paladin simply wants to express their… “love,” she is certain, with these gentle kisses. There is no harm in allowing such a thing, she supposes. It makes her a bit restless for some reason but otherwise it poses no trouble? She can handle that. Besides, it is just another reaffirmation of how strongly they feel for her, another reminder of her power over them.

“It is fine,” she says, “I simply did not expect it from you. It is…” she trails off, trying to find a good word, “endearing, I suppose.”

“Alright,” Weiren says, nodding and with a slight blush, “but if I ever step too far or you don’t like anything, just say the word.”

Hm, as if they could do anything to  _ bother  _ her, to  _ fluster  _ her. It’s the other way around; she is the one who does all the things to them, making them react and blush. Certainly there is nothing they can really do to affect her in that way.

“Of course, I will inform you if it ever comes up,” she returns.

“Also, um,” Weiren adds, glancing away towards the door for a moment, “You don’t need to knock if you don’t want to. You can just come in whenever you want.”

Oh? Vicouryn raises a brow. 

“Are you certain? Perhaps this is my manor but the room is yours, and should you ever wish to be without any company you are allowed to have this space to yourself,” she says, carefully, though she feels a spark of pleasure at their words. Giving themself up so much that they want even the personal room they have to themself to be under  _ her  _ jurisdiction.

“I mean, well… the room may be mine, but  _ I _ am yours,” Weiren says, a small smile on their lips, “You’re busy, and I already don’t get to see you as much as I’d like. I want to see you, so feel free to come in whenever. If I ever feel otherwise, I’ll tell you then.”

They really are all hers. She doesn’t quite want to say she  _ owns  _ them - they are not an object - but they have given so much of themself to her, willingly stepping into her arms and her lair, opening up all of their own space to her, wanting her to take them, all of them. She wonders what they would think if she said that, that they  _ belong  _ to her, that she  _ owns  _ them, but certainly she will not say such a thing. There are things she can do and claim but there are lines she will not cross, because no matter how much she wants to have them they are still their own person and there is always still the chance that they will depart. No matter how much she wants to make sure that they never leave her behind, she cannot enact that kind of control over them, tying them down to Mevaden in the way that she is. 

“I see,” Vicouryn says, “Then I shall.”

Weiren ducks their head as their smile grows. It’s always interesting how they seem to delight whenever they do something that gives her a little more agency over them. So unfathomable to her, but at the very least incredibly compatible with her. Almost too compatible, honestly. Sometimes she wonders how they managed to find her, how she managed to find them, because they are practically a perfect companion in every respect, and it’s so clear that their trust in her is basically absolute.

“So, um, what’s all this?” Weiren asks, calling her attention back.

“Right, yes,” Vicouryn says, gesturing down to the tray, “Please, enjoy these. I would like to know which you like most.” With a gentle hand she uncovers some of the dishes, revealing the different pastries.

Their eyes widen as they lean closer, mouth parting in surprise.

“Woah,” they say, wonder in their expression, looking between her and down at the tray, and Vicouryn smirks internally, satisfied with that reaction, “They look so fancy! But- but what’s the occasion?”

“There is no occasion; you may simply enjoy,” she returns, “Hopefully it is a welcome surprise after the previous events of today.”

Weiren looks up at her, earnest and thoughtful and with wide eyes, and then their expression softens to the point of making Vicouryn feel something akin to embarrassment. 

“It is,” Weiren says, a bit quieter as they gaze fondly at her, gratitude apparent in their expression, “Thank you.”

She manages to stay mostly impassive, matching their eyes with a pleased expression despite feeling the urge to look away, and inclines her head coolly.

“This is a lot though, I’m not sure I can eat it all,” they admit, looking back down at the table and the queen’s shoulders settle in relief. “I never really get to have this kind of food.”

“You do not need to finish it all; but you should try a bit of everything,” she responds, because she wants to find out their favorite so that she can bequeath it upon them whenever they want.

“Well, uh, okay. I know you don’t really eat food like this but would you want any? It feels kind of weird to be the only one eating.” Weiren picks up a plate curiously, gazing down at what she guesses is some shortcake, adorned with a sliced red strawberry and curls of white chocolate.

Vicouryn presses her lips together as she looks across the array of pastries. She only eats at public banquets so as to follow etiquette and appear like a normal elf, and perhaps she can taste food but it doesn’t fulfill her in the way that blood does, and it means she’ll have to let it pass through her body or just not swallow and spit it back out. It’s all a bit of a hassle, and her taste buds are dulled to anything that isn’t blood, anyway.

_ But _ , she does not normally have any dessert, which is certainly a very different set of flavors from the entrees she has to force down, and perhaps it might be nice to feel as if she was a normal person, sharing something sweet with the person who loves her?

As if she needs to feel like a normal person; no matter her nature she is an effective and powerful queen! She may be a vampire and an undead monster but she is still Queen Vicouryn.

But perhaps it will make Weiren happy, because it will be an experience more akin to a normal relationship, the kind of relationship they must desire and deserve as opposed to a secret one-sided agreement in which their feelings are technically unrequited, even if they somehow don’t mind.

“I suppose I can try a bit,” she says, wondering which she should brave a taste of. If she’s going to be honest she would rather make her way to them and pull them against her so she could have a taste of what  _ she  _ likes most, the sweet blood of a warm-hearted and powerful paladin that somehow feels pleasure from her fangs sinking into their flesh. But she already took some the previous night, small a sip as it may be, and she doesn’t want to fall into the habit of drinking blood so frequently lest they do end up leaving sometime in the future. If she is to drink more blood she must wait until tomorrow at the bare minimum, but even then she isn’t sure if perhaps she should wait even longer. Hmm, though, when she took their blood the previous night, it felt as if their blood was more potent than before, perhaps due to having become stronger? 

Back in Gedal, though, despite taking their blood three times over the week or so spent there, they seemed to be fine. The only time in which she took enough to truly affect them was after she called them to an audience during the Nights of Rebirth, when she was only meaning to intimidate them into giving her another taste and then be done with them, for surely there was nothing else that could come of their relationship. Unfortunately, being in such a state as hers, she had trouble hanging onto her control. Since then she has been more careful, controlling every draining so as to drink less but to take longer, with more frequent but smaller, slower gulps. 

Sometimes she has images in which she takes more, not enough to be lethal but enough to make them dizzy, like the first time she drank from them but more, their body sinking in her grasp as she holds them tight and has what must be a very satisfying drink, their blood in her mouth as she’s tied to them with her sharp fangs. The whole time they would be sighing, content with the sensation despite the fact that she is literally taking their vitality. Then, fatigued and drained, they’d profess their love again, the words falling loose and mumbled from their lips, now even more at her mercy than ever before, in a weakened state and unable to resist not because she’s tied them down but because she took so much that they no longer could move, and they would have  _ wanted  _ to become this weak before her.

Not that there would be much to resist; Vicouryn would simply hold them and tend to them carefully. She’d ignore her queenly duties and instead spend the next days with them, replenishing them with hearty meals and plenty of water, stroking their hair fondly as she selects books for them to read and then sits beside them on their bed as they recover. She’d hold them close and press kisses to their neck, giving them gentle pleasure. She’d help them bathe and then dress them in something she finds appealing, and then she would not take from them again until they were fully recovered.

Ugh. It’s the prospect of having them rely on her so much that they will not leave, she knows. Vicouryn has had this dance in her thoughts enough times. The scenario is enticing because it means she will practically be their everything, the one who takes and then gives, weakening and then strengthening them so that she could weaken them again. If that became their life, their being centered on her, then  _ surely  _ they would not leave Mevaden.

But she would not do this to them. She  _ will  _ not do this to them. It’s a stupid image spawned by the darkest corners of her mind, the parts that simply harbor dangerous desires with no regards for consequences. The same parts that created the idea of turning Weiren into a vampire so that they’d be locked to Mevaden and the Blood Vow, for surely they would not want to hurt anyone by taking blood. In that scenario they’d be dependent on drinking  _ her  _ blood, as she is the one who is properly replenished and with control and restraint. 

Vicouryn can think of a hundred reasons why this is a horrible and malevolent idea, and she does not even want to have that idea in her mind, but again it’s the stupid, thoughtless part of her that wants to come up with ways to confine Weiren to her, because for some reason the prospect of them leaving is apparently too hard for her brain to deal with. Does she really like having someone to touch this much? So much that her mind is desperately tossing out different ways to make sure that they stay with her? How illogical. How  _ stupid _ . How unseemly. They are overwhelmingly in love with her so it is unlikely they will be leaving anytime soon.

“Oh, wow, this one is  _ really  _ sweet.”

The queen is brought back to the present by the sound of Weiren’s voice. Shit, somehow she got lost in thought over them despite literally sitting in front of them. What is  _ wrong  _ with her head?

“Do you not like sweet?” She inquires, as if she’s been paying attention this whole time. Weiren’s holding a dish with a small white cake, covered in whorls of frosting and the glint of what must be sugar. Glancing down it looks as if they put the strawberry cake back down and instead opted to try this one first, so she did not miss much. She needs to watch, carefully, and see their reactions to each dessert.

“I do,” Weiren says, setting the dish back down, “But this one is overly so. I’m more used to, um, plain and less sweet flavors. But it’s still good! I just couldn't have more than a bit.”

Hmm, that makes sense, she supposes, if they came from poverty and had limited access to things such as these.

“Would you like to try it?” They ask, holding the dish and the solitary fork out. She did not bring more than one utensil because she was expecting them to be the only one eating these pastries. 

“Certainly,” she returns. Sharing utensils must be something they’re used to, she guesses as she takes them into her own hands, except she’s never done that before, and for some reason that seems to spark some kind of a jittering feeling inside her.

Which is stupid, why would that even happen? It is merely a piece of metal, a  _ tool _ , and it does not mean anything.

She cuts a small piece off with the fork, squinting down at the cake in disapproval, but she will try it at least once. When she glances back up, Weiren's watching her, head slightly tilted in curiosity. Supposedly they’re intrigued by the prospect of her, the vampire, consuming actual food up close. Part of her wants to narrow her eyes and make them look away, but she does not want to be mean to them, specifically. It is fine for Weiren to watch, so she does not react and casts her eyes back down to the cake as she raises it to her mouth, ready to be disappointed yet again by her dulled sense of taste.

_ Oh. _

There’s a soft sweetness that fills her mouth, certainly not overly sweet but no doubt it is due to her vampiric taste buds that she isn’t overwhelmed in the way Weiren is. It’s a subtle but pleasant amount of that honeyed taste, gentle on her tongue and surprising her because it actually tastes like something tolerable as opposed to the chalky flavor of most foods. 

She stares down at the plate as she holds the bite in her mouth, savoring the sugar, and honestly she’s stunned. She’s consumed many foods but only in the presence of other people, only to mask her vampiric nature, and oftentimes she would eat the bare minimum in these moments: the entrees, the wine, and nothing more. She’s forgone the frosted cakes and berry pies because she expected they would be just as bland and tasteless as everything else. Perhaps this whole time she just needed to find something so strongly flavored that she could actually taste it, like this simple, white cake. Even wine she only drinks because it actually  _ has  _ a taste.

“How is it?” Weiren asks, and Vicouryn looks up at them, still surprised, her brows drawn in confusion as she somehow  _ enjoys  _ swallowing this forkful of sweetness, and their face falls, “Oh, no, is something wrong?”

She shakes her head suddenly, schooling her face as she realizes she’s made such a strange expression before the paladin, and despite her attempts she feels a slight warmth on her face. How unseemly. She looked so bewildered that Weiren became concerned.

“No, nothing is wrong,” she says, putting a hand to her temple briefly, “I was simply… surprised.” Gods, how embarrassing. Taken aback by the taste of a  _ cake _ . She presses her lips together and glances down, already cutting off another piece because  _ holy shit _ that tasted so damn good. When she raises it to her mouth she sees Weiren wearing a warm smile as they watch her, and she feels her cheeks heat more. They most likely can tell she quite enjoyed that. She exhales through her nose and tries to force the red away. 

“You can have all of that one,” Weiren says as she averts her gaze and continues to eat, choosing not to comment on her reaction.

Vicouryn surprises herself because she eats this little cake so damn quickly, and it’s gone in just a short minute, and she’s so thrown by enjoying  _ food _ that she forgets to watch Weiren and see what they like. When she sets the plate down she realizes that Weiren actually has stopped eating, and it’s because she’s the one who has the fork. 

“Was it good?” They ask curiously, even though the answer must be quite obvious.

“It was adequate,” Vicouryn returns, putting her face back to impassive.

“We should split all of them,” they suggest, looking back down at the other cakes, “Let’s try this one, next.” Weiren picks up another plate, this one with that strawberry shortcake they’d looked at first. 

“These are for you,” Vicouryn says, a little resistant except she can feel her mouth water at the prospect of other delicious tastes, because for so long the only taste she really liked was the taste of blood, and even  _ that  _ was infrequent because she normally absorbed blood via the Blood Vow, “you should enjoy the rest.”

“Oh,” Weiren says, a small frown on their face, “but this is too much for me, and I don’t like wasting food.”

Vicouryn looks down at her lap, wondering how this situation came to be. She does not like to see their despondent expression.

“I suppose it is fine, then,” she says, “if you are unable to finish them on your own.”

“Come sit here, then,” Weiren returns, patting the cushion beside them, “It’ll be easier to share, that way.” 

Vicouryn raises an eyebrow. She would always rather they come to her, and perhaps she can turn the situation so that she isn’t so thrown from her usual control.

“I believe this is a more comfortable seat,” she says slyly, uncrossing her legs; this is a good way to get them back in her grasp. Weiren blinks, looking from the chaise lounge to her, and simply stands. They push the tray on the table a little closer to her side, and then make their way towards her, a little smile on their face all the way. Somehow they’ve become more used to her antics, flustering less and simply happy whenever she suggests something. Perhaps she can kiss them halfway to breathless just to make them blush, and then they can get back to trying out these various desserts. 

Weiren climbs into her lap and she pulls them in, their position approximating that of a bridal carry with the armrests of the chair supporting their knees and back with their butt settled between her legs.  _ Perfect _ . 

Vicouryn slides her arm around their shoulders, dragging up the side of their neck to their face and pulls them into a kiss, ready to make them blush. There’s the faint taste of sugar in this kiss, and she very quickly deepens it, eager to make Weiren react by licking her way into their mouth and claiming them in the way that makes them flushed and breathless. As she likes, they allow her inside with no resistance, opening up their mouth because they’re hers and their body is hers, so she can touch them whenever she desires as they’ve established. Physically she is always the one in control, she can always control them physically, that’s the dynamic that they have.

Because she doesn’t need to breathe as much as Weiren does, she is intent on kissing them until they’re a little lightheaded, her hand wrapped firmly around their head as she explores their mouth - her domain, that is - tongue reaching deep and sliding along theirs. The paladin reciprocates, their own hand finding purchase on her shoulder, warm and gentle as she takes, with them yielding and giving as they always do. 

It’s a long one, just as she planned, and Weiren’s grasp on her tightens as their breath gets low, their face reddening more as they gasp into the kiss, trying to breathe but also trying to kiss back, because they love kissing her just that much. She smirks against them, not letting them pull away just yet but allowing them to pant against her as she nibbles on their lower lip. Then she allows them respite, trailing her lips down their chin to their neck, leaning in to kiss at their soft skin as their chest heaves. She should mark them, shouldn’t she? Yes, she should.

Vicouryn pulls their shirt aside and scrapes her teeth across their neck, gently though, before sealing her lips around an unmarked area and sucking. She’s left so many on them before and she never gets tired of it, and she can hear Weiren’s deep breaths as they catch up on lost air, their throat moving underneath her mouth. No doubt they must be thinking of her claiming them now, thinking of her going further and touching them even more intimately. As it should be, the thought of their mind being so fully occupied by her is such a pleasing one.

“I-I thought we were supposed to be eating desserts,” Weiren gasps as she kisses their new mark, “Didn’t know I was included in that.”

Vicouryn laughs, delighted, because they’re so warm and funny, and it’s so clear that they’re enjoying her touch quite a lot, and they amuse her so much. Witty words at such a time, and it makes her want to touch them until they're unable to string together anymore. But they are right, she supposes, they are supposed to taste all the different sweets until she can find their favorite. 

“You always are,” Vicouryn says, withdrawing from their neck, “And I deserve a taste whenever I want.”

“I guess I did say anything anytime,” they laugh back, and then they’re hugging her, pressing their face into the crook of her neck, “thank you.”

“For what?” she asks, because they don’t need to thank her for a kiss; she enjoys giving them touch whenever.

“For everything,” Weiren says, voice softer as they hold her tightly, and her own arms press them closer at that. There’s something, sparks of adrenaline, sparks of  _ something  _ flicking up in her chest, for some reason she doesn’t know what to say or do. She called Weiren to sit with her to reaffirm her confidence in how much she influences them but she feels like her breath is stuck in her throat.

“I see,” she returns after a pause. There should be nothing new. Weiren is in love with her and desires her physical touch. Vicouryn is not in love with them but can very easily give them the touch they want, and enjoy it herself because she has been deprived of it for some time, before they came along. They give her their love and in exchange she gives them intimacy and care in her very own manor. They gave up the chance to have a normal relationship with someone else and are now in this strange arrangement with her, one that is secret and unrequited but not in a bad way.

Perhaps Weiren is just so open with their affection that they’re just making her embarrassed. Who would not react from the overwhelming amounts of love this paladin shows with their gestures and expressions? Perhaps she enjoys touching them but the idea of them having gotten so close to her that they can influence her feelings is dangerous. The queen is not influenced by others, she is the one who influences. She is the one who reigns over a kingdom and maintains her rule; she would not do something as foolish as fall in _love_ , she is above the whims of ambiguous emotions. She would not, _will_ _not_ let herself fall in love. She has other things to worry about. 

Were she ever to choose a real partner it would be to create a new heir, that is if Mevaden doesn’t do away with the longstanding monarchy that has ruled it for so long before then. The only other time she could even consider having an actual partner would be in that distant future where she is no longer tied to her kingdom.

Would she consider taking Weiren as a true romantic partner if she was freed from Mevaden?

Vicouryn draws her brows together as she holds Weiren, who is currently snuggling closer to her, breathing softly against her neck. Her hand automatically rises to stroke down their hair. 

Even now she does not have feelings of that kind for them, right now she is just returning the favor, taking care of them and respecting them with the treatment they deserve for being so good a person and a hero to Doluum. Perhaps unorthodox but her treating them this way is simply a fair trade for their attachment to her, not that she is attached to them. Though she supposes she is attached in a way that makes her want to be the only one they have, because she does not like to share. She is only attached because they give her many benefits that she could not easily get anywhere else.

Even if she was freed of Mevaden, the idea of a romantic partner seems so  _ foreign  _ to her. Her relationships of the past were fleeting and physical and simply to satisfy specific desires. Even the few relationships that went beyond just physicality ended quickly because she is locked to Mevaden while the others were not. Normally royal spouses are selected for mutual benefits and suitability to rule, not for love. Certainly it would be easiest to take Weiren because it would automatically come with their love and intimacy, but only if she was no longer of such a high standing. There would be controversy if it came to light that a queen consorted with a paladin not even from Doluum let alone Mevaden, a paladin from Vangath of all places, despite also being a sworn Waywatcher.

But if she was to cut ties with Mevaden in the distant future, perhaps it wouldn’t matter. The distant future where Mevaden no longer needed her, where the weight of her family's history no longer burdened her shoulders.

Vicouryn can logically imagine a time in which perhaps she might be able to give Weiren a proper relationship but that time is not now. They simply will have to wait for her to allow herself to possibly consider developing feelings. Perhaps she does not even need to do such a thing. She can simply keep up  _ this  _ arrangement for however long, no romantic feelings required on her part because still the idea of such a thing is too weird for her. She just wants them with her and to be available to her, she doesn’t need to  _ love  _ them for that.

That’s right, Vicouryn realizes, she can just keep holding them. Things don’t need to change, not yet, and she can ignore these strange feelings and reactions. She can simply press her face against their skin and pull them closer, taking in their warmth against her cool temperature. They are hers, after all. They belong to her not because she owns them but because they love her; their heart and their thoughts are filled with her, aren’t they?

“This is nice,” Weiren says, and Vicouryn cannot believe how much her mind has been swirling with all these thoughts of them, “But I think we should finish the food. Don’t want to let them go to waste.”

“I suppose,” she returns, and there’s a part of her that dislikes how they pull away, but thankfully they only lean out to take another dish in hand and then return, still pressed up against her. 

“Do you want the first bite?” They ask, slicing off a forkful of the strawberry shortcake, and somehow they always think of her before themself. She watches as they struggle to cut off a piece of the berry itself and include it with the bite of cake, and her face softens. How wonderful of them. Such a small gesture and yet so thoughtful.

“Yes,” she says, wanting to accept that from them, but instead of handing her the fork they raise it to her mouth, blushing as they do so. Oh, so they want to give her that forkful themself? Perhaps she will indulge them, then, and she slowly opens her mouth while maintaining eye contact, and she takes the bite.

Her desire to be sly and playful is obstructed by another pleasant taste, this one of a different kind of sweetness, not just normal sugar but the sweetness of a juicy berry. It’s not as strong as the previous cake but it is still subtly good, still nice for her to taste, and she simply swallows it down, maintaining her expression. Tasting these foods has been far more enjoyable then she was ever expecting.

“It is good,” she says, and Weiren nods to take a bite of their own, and she likes to see how their eyes close and how their hand touches their cheek in a display of contentedness.

“It is,” they agree, “Still just a little too sweet but still nice.”

“Tell me the kinds of dessert you normally prefer, then, if these are too sweet,” She says as they scoop another bite up.

“Oh, you know,” Weiren says, “These are really good but I was never able to get anything like this. I had things that were a lot simpler.”

Vicouryn casts her gaze on the tray and the variety of small desserts remaining. They don’t seem that extravagant but she supposes she doesn’t know what things are like for those unfortunately impoverished.

“Such as?” She wants to know, perhaps she can get the chef to make something more akin to what Weiren is used to.

“Well my friend and I got pastries sometimes, but I think my favorite was when my mother would bake cookies,” Weiren answers thoughtfully, setting the fork back down, “Homemade, you know, I really liked when we could make things ourselves. Sugar is expensive so we didn’t have a lot of it, but we had a small garden of fruits and vegetables. I liked her lemon cookies the best.”

Vicouryn narrows her eyes. Weiren had said that they had no family, that they were gone or dead, so this must have been before their mother met whatever fate she did.

Weiren’s smile fades as they glance down at the plate, but they do not cry.

“It would have been nice if you were able to meet her,” they say.

There’s a pause. 

“I would have been honored,” Vicouryn returns, carefully, unsure of what is best to say in this situation. 

Lemon cookies… She supposes she can ask Nahlia to find a recipe for something like that.

Weiren gives her a smile. Perhaps this loss is an old enough one that it does not cause them much pain. She matches their gaze and slides her arm more firmly around their shoulders, because all she really knows is that the touch helps comfort them.

“Have you ever baked anything before?” Weiren asks, steering the conversation away from their loss, and she draws her brows together.

“Of course not,” she answers, “I do not have the time for such a thing, and I do not even consume real food most of the time.” Weiren laughs, low and warm.

“That’s about what I expected,” they say, and they lift the fork back up to her mouth. Almost begrudgingly she accepts the bite, shaking her head at their amusement but she does like to hear them happy. “Maybe someday we can make something together, maybe get the recipe for one of these cakes.”

Vicouryn savors and swallows the cake, looking back to them.

“I’m sure the chef could do a far better job than I,” she says, unconvinced.

“Maybe,” Weiren says, “But there’s something about making things from scratch with your own hands. I think it would be fun, and I like homemade better, anyway.”

Homemade… but the cook is still crafting it by hand in her home? Perhaps they simply mean made by those untrained in the ways of cooking, by those who are not professionals. But what is even the point if there is someone who can do it better?

“Perhaps,” she says, still unconvinced, but it is not the first time she’s disagreed on things with them, like  _ gardening.  _ Somehow they find joy in getting dirty on the ground.

“I wonder what something made by you would taste like,” they muse, and she immediately presses her lips together, feeling a little indignant.

“I’m sure I would be capable of making something decent,” she says. Perhaps she should find and master the recipe of this…  _ ‘lemon cookie.’ _

“I’d love to try whatever you make,” Weiren says with a smile, spooning another bite into their own mouth. What a sentiment… she doesn’t even have a proper sense of taste and yet they would want something created by her? “But I know you’re busy; you don’t need to take time to do that if you don’t want.”

Her eyes narrow again. Fool. It’s too late. Certainly if she can craft these cookies from their childhood they will fall even harder in love…

“At the very least we can enjoy the rest of these,” Vicouryn intones, and when she glances back at them there’s a bit of cream left on the corner of their mouth.

She pulls them in for another kiss, licking away the sugar so that it flavors their mouths, soft and sweet though she finds the taste of Weiren more enticing than the cream, but it is good nevertheless. It is nice to share such a mundane experience with them, one more akin to those of a normal relationship she guesses, tasting sweets with each other as she holds them close. 

Together the two of them finish the desserts, Vicouryn finding that she really does quite like them, somehow, though Weiren maintains that most are still overly sweet or too strong for them. They do still enjoy them, however, which is the most important part. 

She does like when they are happy, after all.


	5. Soak & Dry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiren and Vicouryn share a hot bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAGS: mild & consensual somnophilia, cunnilingus, more blood drinking, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> i am probably just gonna say i upload sundays cuz mondays are gross anyway amirite. and i am impatient and this is a good chappy ter. :S

The nightmares aren’t gone; it isn’t that easy to let go of the events. But everytime that they gasp awake, a cold sweat on their forehead, they find themself in the cool embrace of the one that they love so much. They wake to feel arms around them and a soothing hand running down their hair, carding through locks and stroking their back. She reaffirms that she’s here, that they’re here, that they’re both safe, and that she will take good care of them, and they trust those words. They are hers, after all.

They tell her, quietly, what they dreamed of, what they fear, and she holds them while they do, listening attentively even if Weiren doesn’t think she should have to deal with these troubles, but she does, because she is kind and wonderful and values them as a trusted companion.

But the nightmares aren’t a guarantee. They do not always come, and sometimes Weiren has quiet nights, blissfully entangled with Vicouryn, basking in her touch and wishing they would never get up.

Sometimes they have other nights, though.

They’re meditating, this time, focusing on their time when they first came to Mevaden, on how they first came to be so close to Vicouryn. They’re focusing, but something else is pervading the memories. A cool touch, a spark of pleasure, but dulled under their vision. It’s a strange sensation.

Weiren’s following the queen and two attendants down the hall when the images shift, and their focus is fracturing, and instead there’s something else, their breath is quicker than it should be, hitching at a flare of heat inside of them.

“Weiren,” a voice whispers beside their ear, making them shiver, “Come, wake,” it says, cool and soft, and they gasp as they curl in on themself, a pressure inside their body, “I want you to be awake when you come.”

They’re coming back to the present now, the images fading and they realize that they are quite literally on the precipice of a climax. They’re lying on their side, their body spooned by the vampire touching them, and there’s fingers curling from their backside underneath their shorts up inside them, deep and grazing their most sensitive spots. It’s so strange; they’re a little drowsy from not being fully awake but the pleasure is so real and so  _ there _ and yes, they remember telling her that she can do this, her telling them that she wanted to do this, wanted to start their days off with something wonderful because she likes when she can make them feel this way.

They’d been very interested in that suggestion but they didn't think it would be coming so soon, not that they’re complaining. Weiren basically gave her permission to do practically anything to them, because they trust her.

“Vicouryn,” Weiren manages to say, mind clouded but gods it feels so good. There’s lips pressed to their skin, mouthing along their shoulder as she works them leisurely. They take a trembling breath.

“Good morning,” she hums against them, her voice pleased as they gasp again, their back arching against her as she reaches deeper inside, pressing in different directions.

“Oh, gods,” they say, biting their lip because it’s so weird to be so close so suddenly, the burning inside to be so much already, “M-morning- ah!”

There’s a low chuckle near their ear as the fingers withdraw and then come back, faster this time. They don’t even know how many are in there, and they exhale sharply as she hits deep again.

“Such a wonderful sight,” she murmurs, “I will never tire of seeing you like this.” 

What a fortunate sentiment, because Weiren thinks they’ll be looking like this quite a lot in their time with her.

“G-good to know,” they tiredly banter back, and then she’s thrusting her digits again, though she’s doing her thing where she goes slow on purpose to work them up. Even if they’re so close, though, it feels very nice, the friction of the motion as she strokes them on the inside.

“Indeed,” she returns, “You are quite the treasure. But I will not make you wait long; this is a gift from me to you.”

Weiren’s cheeks warm even more from the sentiment; she called them a treasure! It makes them giddy, and then all at once she’s picking up her speed, curling her fingers to hit that spot and it’s sending jolts of pleasure through their body. So strange that they can experience this kind of contact now regularly, when they’ve spent most of their life deprived of even the most common of touches unless it was by their own hand. But now Vicouryn bequeaths so much of it upon them, in embraces and kisses and touches more intimate than that, and it is so wonderful and brings them so much joy.

It’s when they’re thinking of how much they love and appreciate her that it comes, pleasure pulsing in their core and spreading throughout their body, muscles trembling with the release and the whole while Vicouryn is humming softly against them, reassuring and comforting. They think they are quite literally the luckiest person on the planet, and then they’re breathing hard, feeling limp and loose. Vicouryn’s hand leaves and returns with a soft cloth, always so considerate, and they take it, cleaning up what came from them and leaving it on the side for now. They turn their body, as drowsy as they’re feeling they’re also full of affection and they pull Vicouryn into an embrace, their face against her bare chest and collarbone, their own chest against her stomach. She laughs again, low and pleased above them, and they love to hear her laugh.

“Thanks,” Weiren mumbles, pressing against her.

“Of course,” she returns, “I hope that is a pleasant start to your day. Unfortunately it is almost time for me to go, but I have some minutes before then.”

It’s always a disappointment when she has to go but Weiren knows she has other duties. She is a queen, after all, and they are not her priority.

“Awe,” Weiren says in return, “But thank you for spending time with me. I know you’re busy.”

Sometimes they wonder what her work is like. They’ve grown so accustomed to her kindness and patience though they know she is professional and cold when among others performing her queenly duties. They do still remember her behavior towards Kainen so long ago, and it’s such a huge difference to how she treats them now. They can recall her demeanor back when they first met, completely stoic, exuding power and control, though unafraid to fill her words with threat when necessary, like at the Banquet of the Full Moon.

But to them, when they’re alone, her words are gentle and teasing, relaxed and playful. Sometimes she’s even a little awkward. She still exudes power and can command them but it’s with their consent and her knowledge that they enjoy it. She’s never hurting them, and she is always careful to make sure they are okay, even when they like so much to be under her control. She knows they will never do anything against her, too, because they are just that much in love with her. 

Being in love is certainly an interesting thing but what else can you feel when someone is so overwhelmingly kind and considerate to you? Weiren does not have much experience in love beyond her, but the emotion is real, and they wish they could spend more time with her. She isn’t what they would have expected, when they were younger and thinking about the kinds of people they might like, but she is wonderful nonetheless.

“It is no trouble,” she says, stroking their face, at which their eyes close in satisfaction. There’s a brief pause as the two sit in a comfortable quiet, wrapped in each other. “Tonight I wonder if you may be interested in a bath. Since I believe your clothes will be finished by tomorrow night, perhaps it may be good for you to relax and clean up in advance.”

“A bath…” Weiren echoes, imagining the scene, “I haven’t gone to a bathhouse is some time.”

“Oh, no,” Vicouryn says, shaking her head, “There is a room for bathing in the manor. I will have it prepared for you.”

Weiren blinks in surprise, pulling back to look at her.

“Are you sure?” They ask. They may live in the manor for the time being but they aren’t sure about using the other rooms inside. By now they’re more familiar with the staff and the attendants but they’re hardly a noble that deserves to use the manor’s bath. They have a washroom already, small it may be.

“Yes,” she says, and Weiren notices how she says that instead of what she might have previously, how she will not repeat herself, “I am sure. It is just another extension of my gratitude, and what you deserve. I enjoy giving you all these things.”

Just another sign of how much more considerate she is of them now, how much gentler her words are.

“Will you be there, too?” They inquire next, wanting it to be with her.

“Certainly,” she says, “It will be during our usual hours, after all.”

Weiren lets out an exhale of relief. 

“I’m glad,” they say, and they press a soft kiss to her jaw. When they withdraw she’s watching them intently, and they simply smile back. They wonder if she will bathe, too, if they will be in the bath together, or if she will be on the side. They suppose they’ll find out.

“I wonder just how much you like me,” she says, tilting her head, her face more impassive now. Weiren feels a faint warmth on their cheeks.

“A lot,” they answer, and it’s true, they like her so much, they  _ love  _ her so much, it’s like their heart is overflowing and they want to tell her everyday. “I love you.”

Not only does she indulge them in their desires to touch but she truly takes care of them, comforting them and giving them everything they need. And she is so strong, so confident, and they wish they could be more like her in that respect.

“Good,” Vicouryn says, “That is good.” Her eyes flick away as she speaks and Weiren snuggles back into the embrace again. She’s so much warmer than her usual temperature after she spends the night with them, with their bodies pressed together under a blanket, though certainly she is still chillier than they are. It’s a relief to feel it, because it means it is definitely Vicouryn, the queen, the vampire, the one that reached out to them in a sea of solitude.

They wonder if she could love them back were she not a queen, if she could reciprocate their feelings, but it is not painful to think how she cannot. Perhaps she cannot return the sentiment of love but she still is with them, she still allows them beside her, and she still touches them. She accepts their love, and she accepts them, and that is all they can ask for.

But in another world, where she is not queen, they could spend more time with her and learn more about her beyond them sharing physical intimacy. They want to know more but she has her secrets and they understand that even if she is close enough to touch she is not close enough to truly  _ know _ . She is a queen but she is a target to many in the cutthroat political sphere of Mevaden, and there are some things she most likely cannot say.

At least they’ve learned that she likes to eat sweet cakes, something no one could ever have guessed. It feels good to know something as simple as that; it’s another thing that they’re privy to that no one else is. Hopefully they can learn more.

“I must go now, Weiren,” she says, softly. They shake their head and hug her tighter, not that they think it will actually stop her from leaving, and she lets out an exhale, amusement apparent. A cold hand pats the top of their head, and they loosen their arms, allowing Vicouryn to get up. Now standing, Weiren watches her. She’s mostly nude but not fully, due to the time she spent with Weiren earlier that night. That’s kind of how they’ve both been for most of the week, and it’s just been so nice and intimate to be against one another without fabric in the way. Even just lying beside her has been wonderful. Some nights they simply hold one another, though Vicouryn is definitely the one who initiates any further intimacy.

They can see her full silhouette, tall and slender yet strong all the same, her hair falling down to her lower back, mostly straight but a little messy from resting. She brushes a lock behind her ear as she finds her chemise and puts it back on, the black fabric hanging off her in an elegant fashion. Next is the dress, one that leaves the shoulders bare but with sleeves that hang from beneath her deltoids. As is the rest of her wardrobe, it is black though there are a few gray and dark red accents. They wonder what she might look like if she wore the colors that they normally do, when they’re not dressed in Mevaden clothing, that is.

“I will see you tonight,” she says, stepping into a pair of dark slippers by the door, “I believe I will have a short break at around the seventh hour, as well.”

“I’ll make sure to be available,” Weiren says, but  _ gods  _ that’s like, eight whole hours from now. They’re used to it, though. They can go take care of the planters and finish some books in the meantime, and perhaps take a trip to the Waywatcher’s Hall so they can train.

They’re also interested in getting a few cookbooks; they want to learn how to make a few of these sweet desserts that she might like.

Maybe they can also decide where to go, next. They want to stay in Mevaden for a bit longer but now that the war is over they finally have the opportunity to go back to the Druids of the Fargrove and study and learn with them, though of course after that they would want to return to Vicouryn.

“Good,” the queen says, sending them a subtle smile, warming their heart, “Then, goodbye, for now.”

“Bye.” Weiren watches her go, the door shutting quietly behind her, and they sigh softly. They cannot wait to see her again.

***

Vicouryn presses her lips together when she feels the warmth of the steam on her face. The bathing room has been prepared, but it is almost a stifling level of heat that she is unused to. For Weiren the bath has been heated properly to suit the temperature of most mortals, but unfortunately it means it’s a little uncomfortable for her.

It is a fairly nice room, with some stone benches on the side, a few tables that could perhaps carry some refreshments, and towels folded neatly on a shelf. There’s a raised platform beside the actual bath, with a bowl of various soaps. A small stream pours from the wall and into the water, drawing up more steam.

“Oh, wow,” Weiren breathes, looking around. As always it is satisfying for her to witness their awe.

“Everything is prepared,” Vicouryn says, stepping past them and gesturing to the bath, “Enjoy yourself.”

“Are you going to bathe, too?” They ask, and she turns her head to look at their slightly bashful expression, “It uh, it just seems like it’d be a little strange for me to be the only one.”

She hadn’t been planning on getting in the water, too, due to the high temperature, but she supposes it  _ would  _ be a little awkward for her to sit on the side in the humidity as Weiren bathes alone. Even if it is overly hot it’s not as if it will  _ burn  _ her or anything, it shouldn’t be anything she can’t handle as a vampire. If Weiren wants to bathe with her then she surely can at least give them that experience.

Besides, perhaps she can offer to wash their hair…

“Of course,” she says, as if she was planning on bathing all along, and Weiren seems to be happy with that response. She glances away and begins the process of disrobing, and the paladin follows suit. 

Vicouryn can’t seem to help but sneak a few glances as they do. She’s seen them completely nude before but it almost always is from her undressing them while she’s right up against them, not like this. Here, she has a much fuller picture of their entire body, and she can see their broad shoulders and muscled arms. Though strong, there’s a comfortable layer of fat that softens their body, reducing any intense valleys that may have formed with muscle alone. And though she cannot see any individual abdominals behind their soft stomach, it is clear that they are sturdy, and when they stretch their arms up, their back flexes and emphasizes the muscles stretching across their torso in a very appealing way. There’s a light layer of hair across their front and legs as well as the backs of their arms, though it is only a few shades darker than their brown skin. And, of course, there are a myriad of battle scars all across their body, interrupting the patches of hair and the smooth contours of their flesh.

It is so different from her. Any scars she may have once had have faded over time coupled with incredibly rapid healing. They have so much history visible to the naked eye, but she is unmarked and uniform all across her skin. Not that she has that much history to show; most of her time has blurred together in a fairly stagnant lifestyle. All of her past is contained in Mevaden, unlike them. 

She finds their body so incredibly appealing. Storied with scars and religious tattoos, they are so different from her. They physically appear to be much stronger than her, and they have scars showing off their combat prowess, and yet this strong body bends so easily to her touch. They are so sturdy, so warm, so full of  _ life  _ and yet it is from  _ her _ touch, one of chill and undeath, that they find themself the most affected by.

There’s proof of that, after all. Beyond the scars of battle there are the scabs of unhealed bites and the darkened bruises of her marks. It is satisfying to see her influence on them in that way, a reaffirmation of how much they love to be in her possession.

Her eyes drift south.

_ Oh _ , Vicouryn notes,  _ they changed themself again _ .

Another interesting ability, though not unheard of. There are plenty of elves out in the world with that blessing, able to shift their bodies to fit different gender expressions. Weiren seems to be very at peace with the way their general body looks, only changing the parts of their core without adjusting anything else. She wonders if they ever will shift the rest of their body, but certainly if they ever do she will find it just as appealing as they are now. 

Subtle as she is with her wandering stares, Weiren is more perceptive than most, and there's a moment when their eyes meet hers, interrupting her brief admiration of the way their hair falls over their shoulders. For a moment she feels embarrassment at being caught, but quickly that thought is pushed aside and she does not show it. Rather, if Weiren is all hers, physically, then doesn’t she have every right to regard them whenever she wants? She should not be ashamed of looking at the person who is under  _ her  _ jurisdiction. It is natural for her to find these parts of them - their soft hair, their strong jaw, their storied body - appealing if they are her companion; it doesn’t mean anything more on her part. It simply means she has a very,  _ very  _ good, compatible, and physically attractive companion.

So, instead of averting her gaze, she holds theirs, keeping her face impassive as she takes in the sight of their face, their body, their physique. They make a bashful expression, a flush coming to color their cheeks as they glance away, which is good because the heat of the room seems to be getting to Vicouryn; there’s the sense of a warmth of her own on her face, and she also glances to the side for a moment. The steam is so stifling.

Weiren steps into the bath first, their shy smile still visible as they lower their body into the water, and she can see the way their shoulders relax as they do so, their eyes closing as they let out a sigh of relief. Her own expression softens; she is pleased to see them able to relax as they deserve. Maybe the water won’t be too hot; perhaps she can join them and the temperature won’t bother her.

As she approaches, Weiren holds out a helping hand, but she knows it isn’t because they think she needs help or that they need to be chivalrous; she knows they simply always want to assist her, not because she is weak but because they love her, and so it does not wound her pride to accept that offer; there is something pleasant about holding that hand in hers, after all.

“It’s really nice,” Weiren says as Vicouryn steps in, and she hides a wince because the water feels like a furnace, almost, in contrast to her undead chill, but it does not quite burn. Her eyes narrow but she forces herself to continue, unwilling to show Weiren that she can be defeated by a little  _ hot water _ . She is strong and courageous; that is what Weiren professed to like about her. Even if it is uncomfortable, it is not actively harming her or her body, and she can deal with this. 

She can deal with this. 

Vicouryn sits across from them as they unfortunately let go of her hand, and she notices the way their face is flushed even a little more.

“It is very warm,” she simply comments in return, waiting painfully for her body to adjust so that she can relax more properly. Weiren sinks farther on their stone ledge, very clearly enjoying it. She must admit that despite her own reservations about the situation there is something quite appealing about them like this, partially submerged in the steaming water and with their guard completely down. It is always…  _ good _ … to see how they let themself be so vulnerable around her. Yet another reminder of how much they trust her.

It’s reassuring.

“I haven’t had a bath like this in a long time,” Weiren says, running a wet hand through their hair, and they scoot forward to sink their head completely under the water. Vicouryn squints, not expecting that as bubbles rise and pop where they were, and then not a second later they resurface, hair slicked back and appearing darker than usual with the water. A few drops splash Vicouryn but she’s too distracted by the image of them rising up with a satisfied smile on their face, their cheeks reddened from the warmth. What a beautiful sight…

“Then I am glad I can provide it to you,” she returns as they resume their previous seated position, the muscles of their neck highlighted by the shine of the water.

“I appreciate it.” The paladin turns to her with a grin and she can feel another unfortunate jittering inside of her. “Would… would you mind if I could help you wash your hair?”

_ Oh _ . That’s exactly what she’d been planning on offering for them. But perhaps this makes it easier; they can do it for each other. Despite disliking other people touching her, she did quite enjoy the few times Weiren ran their warm hands through her hair. 

“I would not,” she says, “though I want to do the same for you. Perhaps with the rest of your body, too.”

Yes, perhaps she can clean them entirely herself, touching them in every possible spot. Besides, she will need to take them again soon, because with the way they’ve changed themself, they’ve given her a new place that she hasn’t touched yet. Back in Gedal perhaps she did touch their core - this one, that is - but she did not reach inside. That is uncharted territory, and she is eager to see how she can make them fall apart again with this anatomy. She wonders if perhaps she can find a way to alter the harness...

“Sure,” Weiren says, “I’d like that.”

They’re not too flustered by her assertive request beyond a darkening of the red on their face; she supposes they are used to it by now. Weiren moves forward through the water, coming to her side. Tentatively they raise a hand to her face, and she nods when they pause before making contact, giving them permission, and they trace their fingers along her hairline down to her ear. Their touch is warmer than usual with the hot water, and it sends a shiver down her back. Interesting how they like to give her kisses more freely though they seek explicit permission with touches like this one. Still, so endearing to her.

She wonders how they might react if she ever told them that she felt things for them, too.

Of course, not that she harbors love or anything. She can’t, she simply can’t, not in her current state. She doesn’t have a choice.

But in another world, another time, what if she could tell them that she loved them? What if she could be allowed to properly develop those feelings and then offer them to Weiren? How would they react? Would they be happy? Or do they only like the current her, the one who is cold and bold and cannot reciprocate love? How different would life be if she could offer them the love they truly deserve?

Her head feels heavier with these thoughts as they press a kiss to her cheek, their hand still touching the side of her face so gently. Before they pull away she brings up her own hand, taking a hold of their face and turning hers to kiss them properly. She makes it deep as she likes to, though not reaching in, and she nibbles on their lips instead. Then they break apart as they look at each other, their eyes so affectionate in a way that feels as if her heart, her  _ core _ , her very  _ soul  _ warms. 

“I’ll need you to get your hair wet,” they say softly as they reach past her to take a soap in hand, “so I can wash it properly.” 

Right, yes, her hair is still dry. But she has a better idea. 

She shifts forward from her seat, her hands on their shoulders, and of course they do not resist. With her gentle force she backs them under the stream spilling into the bath, and then with another step she’s underneath it too, hot water pouring over her head, dousing her quite adequately in a way that actually makes her dizzy. The heat of the room has been intense but it seems doubled by the water on her scalp. In the moment she gives them a kiss because it feels right, both of them underneath this stream as water runs down their faces, and then it’s over.

Another step and she’s out of the stream, and she’s so,  _ so _ hot. It’s almost overwhelming, but without the water directly in contact with her head it’s a bit of a relief. 

When she opens her eyes, Weiren’s gazing at her, and she realizes this must be the first time either of them have seen each other like this, completely soaked. Vicouryn breaks the gaze, feeling warm, and turns around so that she’s facing away, giving them access to her hair. She feels weird in this situation. Of course Weiren and Vicouryn have seen each other nude and in other varying states of undress but being like, in the bath with another person makes her feel strange. Only her attendants have seen her like  _ this _ . Perhaps It's because they are equally exposed, and the water is too hot for her, and so she is stuck in an uncomfortable state.

“Thank you,” they say, hands coming up to touch her again, “for letting me do this for you.”

Then there’s the sensation of their fingers working on her scalp, soapy bubbles forming as they wash her hair. She closes her eyes, trying to focus on the sensation but thinking seems to be getting harder as the time goes on. Everything is so damn hot, Weiren’s hands included even if they aren’t as hot as the water she’s submerged in, but they feel so nice on her head.

“You are welcome,” she says, except it’s clearly been a longer pause than it should have taken, but whatever.

The moments pass quietly after that, Weiren focusing on washing her hair and working the products down her locks. She has to duck under the stream to rinse the soap away before she directs them to the conditioner, and then there’s another long process of Weiren tending to her.

Her thoughts are sluggish but they’re moving, and the whole time she’s wondering how they can be so considerate and tender in this when she can’t even do them the courtesy of falling back in love. They’ve told her so many times that they love her and that they don’t  _ need  _ reciprocation, that they are content to simply be beside her, but that is so unfathomable to her. She would never accept that, were she Weiren.

“Are you okay?” The paladin’s voice filters through her thoughts, “You’ve been quieter than usual.”

One of their hands settles gently on her shoulder as she looks down at the water, mind feeling clouded. See, even now they look out for her, when she is supposed to be the one taking care of then.

“I am fine,” she returns, mustering enough control to say it properly.

There’s a pause, and she glances back to see them weighing her words. Somehow they don’t look convinced, and she turns her head forward again, not liking that pensive expression. She  _ is  _ fine. Nothing is  _ wrong _ .

“If… there is anything bothering you, then I’m available to listen,” they say carefully, “But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay, too.”

Both shame and indignation strike her, somehow. She has already decided she will not put her troubles on them. How are they so damn kind when she can’t even treat them the way they truly deserve? She would never sacrifice her pride to be satisfied with loving without being loved in return.

“I am  _ fine _ ,” she repeats, sharper this time, “It is my turn, anyway.” She turns to see Weiren with a small frown, and she doesn’t like that expression, either, because for some reason now she feels  _ guilt _ . 

“Alright.” They pass her the soap and they turn away, and she’s left to stare at their back as she remembers she’s supposed to wash their hair. And the rest of her body but at this point she isn’t sure she is capable of it. The image of a scarred pegasus faces her, reminding her yet again how unsuitable she really is for them.

Already she killed the mood, because she can’t handle the idea of Weiren knowing how things trouble her and weigh on her mind. No one is supposed to know those things. She hopes they are not hurt by her words. But it would not be the first time she’s hurt them, would it? Not when she’s been taking their blood so freely. Not when she’s made them cry over and over.

Wordlessly she lathers the soap and begins the process, but she’s doing it while her thoughts distract her. Before, she knew Weiren deserved better because she’s a vampire and a queen but now she knows they deserve better because she is cold, and closed-off, and unable to reciprocate their love when they  _ deserve  _ that kind of love so much. She forcefully pushed her way into their heart by exposing their vulnerabilities back when they first met and now they’re in love with her and it’s all her damn fault that they’re stuck in this one sided relationship where they will never truly get what they desire and deserve, because deep down they must wish for her love in return.

It’s hard to tell but she wonders if the warmth at her eyes is just the bathwater or tears. No, it can’t be tears. Vicouryn does not cry.

“Vicouryn?” Weiren’s voice, their sweet, gentle voice comes, and she realizes she’s dropped the soap and is just hanging onto their shoulders. It’s so hot and for some reason her emotions feel amplified, not that she should be having those because they aren’t fit for a queen to harbor. Then their head is turning and she grips them harder.

“ _ Don’t  _ look at me,” she says, pressing her forehead into their back, because if Weiren sees her and thinks she’s crying that must be the end of everything, because to them she is strong and fearless and in control of everything. Not that she is crying, that is simply not something she does, she is not allowed such a privilege.

“Okay,” they say, “I won’t.”

She doesn’t understand how they can act so gently while she is like this. They simply cease moving and she lets out a shuddering exhale as the heat of the room curls around her even more, dragging her down. Why did she get into this bath?

“Could I touch your hand?” They ask, voice so soft and she’s thrown for a moment. Now they ask for such a thing? But she likes to indulge their desires, and she supposes if they aren’t seeing her still then maybe it is fine.

“Yes,” she says, and she has to choke it out because talking got hard all of a sudden, and then there’s the welcome sensation of warm fingers settling atop one of hers, and she threads her fingers through theirs, taking hold of them because she needs something to hang onto. It feels comforting somehow.

“Thank you,” Weiren says, and the fact that they’re the one thanking her in this situation is horribly ironic. This must be the extent of what Vicouryn can show Weiren, because anything else might be too much, but there are things she wants to tell them. “I like holding hands.”

A broken laugh escapes her, because of course they say such a thing at a time like this, and she presses her face harder against them. It’s only a few seconds before her chuckles turn to quiet sobs, and then she’s taken aback, because she shouldn’t be doing that, that’s not something she’s supposed to do. Why is she doing this?

Weiren doesn’t say anything and she can’t intuit what they’re thinking like this, them facing away as she cries into their back for some unforsaken reason. It’s the stupid heat of the water, that’s all it is. Their fingers tighten on hers as she tries to calm herself, to force whatever unseemly outburst this is away, but she’s having a lot of difficulty doing that. When was the last time she did this? When was the last time that this happened? She can’t remember.

She curls her other arm more around their shoulders, finding their presence to be comforting somehow but her tears aren’t stopping, which is stupid.

“You aren’t supposed to see this,” she manages to say, “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t mind,” Weiren returns, “there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

They are so nice, and she is so horrible, how are they so kind to someone like her?

“I’m  _ sorry _ ,” she repeats, her grip getting tighter, “for being unable to properly reciprocate your feelings.”

She wishes she could, she wishes she would, because that’s what they deserve, and it feels like a dream she can never have, because those feelings aren’t fit to harbor for a queen, especially towards someone like Weiren. If they could love each other properly - because really who else is as open as Weiren and would find someone like her appealing in this way - would she be allowed to cry like this? Would she be able to express the emotions she keeps locked down inside? That’s too much. It’s too much. They shouldn’t have to shoulder her burdens, anyway. They aren’t like her, and they deserve to live freely; she can’t lock them down to Mevaden. 

She should stop entertaining these notions. She cannot love them properly, because the truth of the matter is that most likely she will outlive them, and most likely they will leave her behind, because she  _ knows  _ there are people out there more deserving of them, the  _ world  _ is more deserving of them, and she has no right to keep them to herself like this. She should stop this all now, because if she truly falls in love then she will be at the whim of those dangerous emotions, making stupid decisions that will ultimately destroy her and them.

Normally she would never be worried about the prospect of falling in love but in Weiren’s case, who would not?

“It’s okay,” Weiren says as she forces herself to take another shuddering breath, “You don’t have to. You’re not obligated to do that.”

But their love is so pure, so whole, so wonderful that it  _ should  _ be reciprocated, shouldn’t it **?**

“Can I turn around? I can keep my eyes closed,” they offer, and again she’s struck by that level of consideration, that level of kindness, and she’s terrified of them seeing her like this but doesn’t she trust them? Doesn’t she trust them enough to be in her manor, to lie beside her while she rests?

She feels so overwhelmed and exposed, surrounded by the cloying heat that makes her dizzy.

“Okay,” Vicouryn whispers, feeling weak. She  _ is  _ weak, letting these emotions loose in front of the one person she wants to protect from herself and her dangerous desires. The paladin before her shifts but she keeps looking down, not even wanting to see if they’re sticking to their word or not for fear they might see the tears brimming in her eyes, but then there’s arms coming around her, gathering her close against them, and her breath escapes her.

She should hate this, she should hate being vulnerable, being held. She should hate them for doing this to her. She presses her forehead down into their shoulder, but even if she should hate this she wants them to never let go because for the first time in her life she feels safe and taken care of.

She feels loved.

“You’re too good,” she says softly, past a painful lump in her throat, “too kind.”

“You are equally so, to me,” Weiren returns, their chest thrumming with the motions, and her tears come anew, because how can they call her so kind when she is just a cold monster? When she has been harboring thoughts of taking them and keeping them from everyone else by draining them to immobility, when she wants to keep them all to herself? If they keep saying these things she might really develop feelings, because no one has ever been this warm to her and she wants to hang onto that warmth for as long as she can.

But a queen like her shouldn’t need that. She shouldn’t need that kind of warmth. She should be strong on her own, proud and fearless, like her father.

She wraps her arms around their waist, gripping them tightly as they run soft hands down her hair and back, taking care of her for some reason, because for some reason they love  _ her  _ and not anyone else, when she is the least deserving of it.

_ I wish I could love you back _ .

She feels so tired now, drugged on the sheer heat of the water and the paladin holding her, her body somehow exhausted from the effort of fighting against her tears, and her grips loosens. 

“It’s so hot,” she says, sighing against them, wondering if she might just pass out, and then the paladin moves with a start. Their arms shift and then all at once they’re lifting her out of the furnace of a bath and at any other moment she would be furious, indignant, but right now she is just limp and  _ oh  _ the air, humid as it is, is a welcome relief on her tingling skin. 

“Gods,” Weiren says, worry in their voice, “I didn’t realize it might be bad for you.” They’re setting her down on a bench where she slumps forward, holding her head in her hands as the heat begins to fade, and then there’s a soft towel on her shoulders. It takes her a moment but she realizes Weiren is actually drying her off entirely, though frantically, and a laugh escapes her dazed mind. 

“It’s just water,” she replies, now amused, because isn’t that funny?

Then she hears Weiren say something, and all at once the bath…  _ freezes _ . She has to squint to make sure she isn’t hallucinating but the bath is mostly a solid chunk of ice now, excepting the stream that pours into it. What…?

Then they’re returning to drying her hair, rubbing the towel across her head and down her back. Nahlia is a lot better than them at this, she thinks.

It only takes a bit of time but the temperature of the room begins to lower, the frozen water giving off a chill that slowly begins to reach her. It feels so weird.

“Let’s get dressed,” Weiren says, “It’ll be cooler in my room.”

Oh, yes, she would rather be in their room with them. Doing things… fun things?

She’s not a hundred percent sure how she gets dressed but it probably included Weiren trying to pull the clothes on her, which was kind of fun. Then they whisper another thing, another spell, she guesses, as they support her on their way back to their room. The shadows seem to move with them, clinging to the both of them and she thinks that’s pretty cool and probably good because she would rather die than have anyone else see her like this. The journey is fuzzy in her mind.

Back in the room Weiren sits her down on the bed and they shuffle around, opening windows to the night sky to allow in a cool breeze though drawing the heavy curtains. Now there’s a throbbing in her head, a leftover of the heat from the bath and gods it hurts and it makes thinking  _ hard _ .

“Is there anything you need?” Weiren asks, coming back to the bed where she’s rubbing her temples to no avail, and her eyes flick up to see their concerned expression, and then drift down to their neck. Maybe some blood will help… It’s been a few days since the last time so this should be fine, right? 

“Sit down,” she says, patting the bed slyly, feeling strangely playful despite the pounding in her head. But Weiren obeys, as always, and they take a seat beside her, their hair still damp from the bath. Some of their clothes are a little damp, too, because they were hasty in drying themself. “I want your blood.”

Normally she would never be the one to ask in such a direct fashion, but she knows how delicious it is and she wants to taste them  _ now. _

Weiren nods, reaching up to undo the buttons of their clothes and shrugging off the shoulders of their tunic to bare their neck. She giggles softly, how quick and obedient they are, and then as her head sways left and right she plants her hands on their shoulders to steady herself. They give her a guiding hand on the back of her head, somehow they realize she’s a little delirious, and then their skin is coming closer.

Vicouryn sinks her teeth into the soft flesh of their neck, wrapping her arms around their shoulders in an embrace, keeping them from moving. She doesn't want them to move.

Then, she drinks, in a strange and loose fashion. Her gulps are inconsistent and she isn’t really keeping track but she knows in her head that she wants them here, wants them with her, and she won’t let them leave her. Warm arms come around her waist, hands clasping on her back as they reciprocate, and that only serves to embolden her because it’s a reminder that they  _ want  _ to be here, with her, under her control. What if she did take so much that they could no longer move? What if she took so much that they were forced to stay here, with her, forever?

The blood in her mouth is so strong, so potent, even more than when she first drank from them, and even though she’s thinking of taking so much she finds that she’s already had her fill just a few minutes in. Weiren continues to be steady throughout the whole thing, unmoving, sturdy and strong, and there’s a relief in her head because this means that she  _ can’t  _ enact her dangerous desires on them, that they’re stronger than that, that they’re safe from her dark wants. Their blood is so strong, now, somehow, that even when she does a normal draining they seem to be unaffected still. Thank the gods.

With the blood her headache seems to recede a bit, her thoughts calming down but still not quite in her usual state of mind. Then she withdraws, sighing deeply in satisfaction with the taste of Weiren on her tongue. She would drink their blood for the rest of her life, and no one else’s if she had the choice. A second later and Weiren is guiding her to recline, and her body quite likes the idea of being prone, actually.

“Weiren,” she says, tiredly, “I didn’t finish washing your hair.”

The paladin looks down at her, a small smile forming on their face.

“It’s fine,” they say, “You washed it enough.”

“Are you certain?” She returns, squinting at them but she really can’t tell.

“Yes,” Weiren says, nodding, “Thank you.”

Then they’re getting up from the bed, standing, and she’s struck with fear.

“Wait,” she says, nervous, “Don’t go.”

“I won’t, I’m just closing the windows now. I’ll be right back.” The paladin places a palm on her hand for a second, and then goes to the aforementioned windows. The breeze has cooled the room considerably already, but she guesses they don’t want the curtains to flutter in the morning and let in sunlight. How nice… how kind…

She presses her lips in a line as she watches them, waiting for them to somehow vanish, to leave, because isn’t that what always happens, in the end? The people who are interested in her lose their interest because she is locked to this place, and they are free to go.

But no, Weiren returns to her like they said, and she exhales in relief. Of course they return, because they love her, and she trusts them.

“Come on,” she says, gesturing to the bed, because she wants to lie beside them, and they do, climbing on the other side. She rolls to be on her side, facing them, and they mirror her position as they get under the comforter. Then she finds their hand and clasps it in both of hers, holding it close, because she doesn’t want to let them go.

Weiren puts their free hand atop hers, and now both of their hands are with her, together, and it is wonderful.

“Thank you,” she says, softly, looking down at their warm hands. Even now they still do this for her. It makes her heart ache, both in pain and in something else, something positive, she thinks, because she wants to hold their hand forever.

“Of course,” Weiren returns.

“Do you still… harbor feelings of love for me?” She asks, this time plaintively; she feels so pathetic asking this but she needs the affirmation that despite them seeing her in this sorry state, they still like her. It’s because she’s all delirious from the heat, that’s all. That’s all it is. 

“Yes, of course,” they say, this time more forcefully, scooting closer. The hand laying atop hers shifts up her arm to her face and they cup it so gently. Normally she is the one who does that to them but for once it feels so soothing for it to be done to her, like they’re looking out for her, taking care of her. “I love you, Vicouryn.”

Another breath escapes her, one full of relief as her eyes close. If they still love her, then they won’t leave, not yet. She still has time with them, before their feelings inevitably change, before they leave her behind. Their love cannot be everlasting. It is too good to last.

“Good,” she says, quietly, “then stay with me, tonight.”

She says this though they’ve been together every single night since their return.

“I will,” they say, “always. Whenever you want.”

Their words are so soft, so gentle, so kind, and it almost makes her want to cry again. Tomorrow will be quite a time, she knows, somehow beyond her weakened mind. No one else can see her like this, no one besides them. She’ll need to apologize, properly, that is, for leaving herself in such a state and forcing them to deal with her weakness. But that will be tomorrow.

For now, for tonight, she can simply hang on as Weiren traces their warm fingers along her face. 

She can simply hold onto their hand.

***

When Vicouryn awakes, she feels comfortably warm. Not overwhelmingly hot, but the kind of warmth she’s gotten used to from lying beside Weiren. The gentle warmth of one who cares for her, for  _ her  _ and not for her crown.

Blinking her eyes open and glancing around reveals that she’s somehow loosely in Weiren’s arms, her head against their chest as they breathe softly. Her legs are entangled with theirs and there’s a brown arm draped across her shoulder.

Most of the time it’s the other way around, she knows.

But it isn’t so bad to be held, she admits. She feels so relaxed that she doesn’t want to move, lest she wake Weiren and the two of them must rise.

And, well, she isn’t eager to address what happened the previous night. It was shameful on her part, and incredibly embarrassing. She blames it entirely on the influence of the bath, that cursed bath of  _ too _ much heat.

Weiren was very doting, if she remembers correctly. She closes her eyes to think, recalling vaguely that they’d gotten her out of the water, redressed her as best they could, brought them back to their room where they gave her blood and let her rest. She was not in her right state of mind and more vulnerable than she’s ever been beyond being unconscious from an assassination attempt, and they handled her with so much care.

She took so much blood, she thinks, so much and yet they seemed to be fine, but her perceptions were altered. Vicouryn will need to make sure they aren’t too drained; she hopes they are feeling okay. At least now, they are breathing steadily and seem to be alright. 

And they have been so kind and considerate to her. They took her vulnerability in stride, and hopefully they won’t make too much of a deal of it when they wake. Even so, it’s still embarrassing, but ah well. She must deal with the consequences.

Vicouryn turns her head to press more against that warm chest, feeling content to just lie here. There’s so much appreciation inside of her for how Weiren dealt with the situation, for how they deal with her. Beyond a physically compatible companion they are calm and adequately concerned for her, and they did well.

They always do so well.

A warm hand drags up her arm to brush against the side of her head, before tracing down the length of her hair, and she sighs. The fingers card through her hair, but then catch gently in a knot, and gods they both went to rest with wet hair, didn’t they?

“Vicouryn,” Weiren murmurs softly above her as they easily adjust their hand, sliding away from the tangles to just stroke down her head. They sound tired, still not quite awake as they do this, but even so they are incredibly affectionate. She supposes this whole situation is okay. They’ve touched her hair before and they’ve held her before, and damn if it isn’t so pleasant for her right now. “Morning… are you feeling okay?”

“Good morning,” she says, and even if her pride feels wounded she continues, “Yes, I am alright.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Weiren returns slowly, their arms holding her closer, “I’m glad. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Yea, same for her. Feeling like that was fucking awful. Never again. Those thoughts and all the ones like it just need to go back into the box. She does not deal with irrational thoughts like that. No more hot baths.

Even if there might have been some truth… 

No, she will not deal with those. She will simply forget them.

“Unfortunately it seems as if the temperature difference was too high for one such as myself,” she says, a little stiffly, “That is why I acted so strangely; I apologize.”

“There's nothing to apologize for,” Weiren returns, a bit more awake now, “It happens to everyone. I’m just sorry you felt bad at all; I know it’s not a good time. I wish I noticed the effect of the heat earlier.”

Her mouth thins into a line, feeling conflicted. They’re so compassionate but gods it feels demeaning but she  _ knows  _ they aren’t meaning any harm.

“You could not have known,” she says, “Either way, thank you for dealing with everything that happened. I… regret that it occurred.”

And then Weiren’s shifting. Before she can react there’s the sensation of lips against her forehead, gentle and soft. 

“It’s no problem, I love you,” they say against her, hugging her tighter, and gods she feels so thrown because how can they say it so casually after witnessing her in that state? She was so shamelessly clingy last night for some reason; she was disgusted in her behavior, but Weiren didn’t seem to mind. Even now they don’t mind, this strange reversal of roles that they’ve settled into. But the words warm her even more, something in her chest and on her face, a gentle warmth that makes her turn her head even more, not wanting to look at them. “Thank you for letting me be beside you.”

It’s so unfathomable. Why do they keep saying this, never asking for her love in return? It’s so painfully earnest and  _ good  _ and what must be  _ foolish _ . They still deserve better but she is giving them everything else that she can.

“Oh, um, if you want me to stop, also…” they say next before she can reply, “I like to hold you but I know sometimes you don’t-”

“No,” she says, quickly, “this is fine. I do not mind.” Honestly she was probably the one who put herself in this position last night. First she took their hand and then most likely she came closer, pulling them towards her, wanting them to hold her.

Can she say she actively likes it and desires it? Not aloud, certainly not. But she doesn’t want them to let go, not yet.

“Okay,” Weiren answers simply, and their chin comes atop her head, and she lets out an exhale, because gods this must be how they feel so frequently, and it feels so nice.

There’s a bit of a silence for a few moments, Weiren gently touching her hair despite how messy it must be, and she honestly feels like going back into her meditation.

Maybe she should take the day off. She hasn’t done that in so long. But she’s ahead of her work, like always.

But no, she is a responsible queen. She will not shirk her duties. She has meetings planned, paperwork to fill out. 

She realizes that somehow she’s looped her arms under Weiren’s, pulling them closer to her, so that they’re holding each other, and it is so, so wonderful. 

But doesn’t  _ Weiren _ deserve to have at least one full day with her? Would that not make them so overwhelmingly happy? 

She will have to check with Nahlia and see about rearranging her schedule. Maybe she can do this. For them, not for her.

“Weiren, please, tell me how much I drained you.” This is something she needs to hear, too.

“Oh, I’m not sure. The normal amount? I didn’t really feel it that much, but I guess to be fair I just went to bed right after. I think it was fine.” Weiren sounds thoughtful but ultimately not affected by what she took, and that is a relief.

“I see,” she says, “Good.” That means they are just that much stronger than before, strong enough to not be hurt by the things she does, and that is the biggest relief of them all.

“Um,” Weiren says next, “Before you have to go, today… I was wondering if there might be time for me to, um, give you some… pleasure?”

Vicouryn blinks, completely unexpecting the direct question, and she actually pulls away to look at their face, which is adequately red as they glance away. Weiren almost never is the one to initiate pleasure, that kind of intimacy.

“What?” she says, actually not certain if she heard them correctly.

“Oh, um… I just… I thought it’d be nice if you could start the day with something nice, like you did for me,” Weiren says hastily, their blush growing, “But if you don’t want to, that’s alright.”

“Weiren,” she says, bringing up her hand to touch their cheek, “You want to do that? I am… merely surprised since usually I am the one who initiates such things.” She’s doubly thrown, now, by this right after what happened before. She knows they like what she does to them, sexual pleasure is just something that feels objectively good and she is quite adept at giving them that, but do they actively want to return the favor? She won’t lie, they were quite good at pleasuring her on their second night together, but she wasn’t sure if they were just doing it because they felt obligated after she gave them so many climaxes.

“Of course I do!” Weiren returns, “I know you usually start it because I’m… inexperienced compared to you but I would love to make you uh… feel good. It makes me happy.”

Vicouryn can’t help her own blush except she immediately looks down to obscure it from Weiren, and she pretends to appear pensive instead. How are they like this so often? So generous and earnest it kills her every time.

So what if she did accept pleasure from them? If it makes them happy, well, then… she has no qualms, she thinks? She doesn’t allow herself that much self-pleasure, quite honestly, preferring to see how she can affect Weiren with her touches, and, well, a climax sounds nice because she  _ does  _ normally feel better after one… 

It’s just so unusual for it to be them doing things to her, but they’ve been more assertive, more forward since returning to Mevaden, and she guesses she should get used to it because they will only continue to want to do so. It’s strange and unfamiliar but… it is also nice. Of course she still prefers to be the one in control in most situations but letting them stand on more ground makes her feel better about their dynamic, their relationship. Even if they’ve consented to everything she’s done, she still sometimes feels as if she is taking advantage of them, that they are getting the lesser end of the deal. But this helps...

“How do you plan to do this?” She inquires, seeing the opportunity to make them fluster and giving them a small smirk. “Tell me, Weiren. How do you want to do this for me? How do you want to please me?”

They look at her, eyes wide as their blush intensifies, and then they look away, most likely steeling themself, but with her hand on their face she simply turns their head back to look at her. They bite their lip for a second, and then they lean closer to her suddenly, their forehead coming against hers in a surprisingly assertive fashion. They have trouble matching her gaze but this is something else and she’s a little stunned.

“I’d kiss you,” they say, their breath coming against her lips, “For however long you wanted.” The hand on her hair returns to her face, along her cheek, and then slides up the rim of her ear, and her breath stops for a moment because she’s still surprised, still not expecting this, but she wants to see what they’ll do. And, well, yes, her ears are a little sensitive. Their fingers then run down the side of her neck, but she keeps her cool. “Then I’d touch here for some time, and work my way down.” Weiren’s hand becomes more reticent as it drifts south, and they’ve hit the neckline of her dress when they stop moving, uncertain.

She will help them. 

She takes a hold of their wrist and guides it further down, trailing their touch down her chest, past her unbeating heart.

“And?” She says, urging them to continue speaking.

“I’d… follow your guidance again, like before,” Weiren whispers, “I’d give you enough pleasure to release. Hopefully more than once.”

Oh, and they’re wanting to give her  _ multiple  _ climaxes?

“And you want to do this for me?” She repeats, holding their hand at her stomach. Even if they’d be the one pleasuring her, she will still be in control of the situation, but she wants to make certain it’s because they  _ want  _ to do this.

“I do,” Weiren affirms, and they lock eyes, their faces so close together, their noses brushing against one another, and she wonders again how fortunate she is to have found them.

“Then,” Vicouryn breathes, “You may proceed.”

Weiren hesitantly shifts, because this means they’ll be moving over her, and that is unfamiliar, but she helps them along, rolling onto her back as they follow to be above her, their tangled legs adjusting so that Weiren is between hers, her gown rucked from being pushed up to her thighs.

“I just want you to relax,” the paladin says nervously, “You deserve to rest. I’ll do everything.” How sweet, how kind of them. She doesn’t know if she can keep entirely still during it, because the desire to do things to them is so strong, but for once perhaps she can just let them be the one to take action. Perhaps she can simply… relax.

There’s a moment as they look down at her, their eyes moving down her torso nervously before flicking to the side. 

“Um,” Weiren says, even redder than before, “Also, I, uh, I had to redress you but, um, time was of the essence! And, uh, well, it was a little hard to put everything back on, so, well…”

Vicouryn follows their gaze and realizes her undergarments have been messily folded on the nightstand beside her, and she’s struck both with mortification and extreme amusement. She’s quiet for a moment, taking in this information, that she was so unable to handle herself that Weiren had to struggle to put her undergarments on, failed, and then just had to settle with only the dress, and that they somehow dragged her back to their room  _ like  _ that. It’s embarrassing, but the image of Weiren frantically trying to figure out how her elaborate chemise works is enough to prompt laughter, which she is trying to stifle, but is also having a hard time doing that.

Weiren presses an embarrassed hand to their face, hiding their eyes as she tries to stop laughing.

“I’m, um, sorry about that,” they apologize, now with another hand to their face, and it’s even funnier somehow, and even if laughing feels weird it also feels nice and she feels like her body is lighter. She gives up on stopping them, but she feels bad laughing so hard, and instead she turns away and brings up a hand of her own to conceal her face, because she must look weird like this; Vicouryn doesn’t  _ laugh  _ like this. She simply doesn’t. It’s the hardest she’s laughed in a long time.

“At least-” she says, and she has to cut herself off because she can’t stop her chuckles, “At least it makes the next part easier.”

There’s a gasp that catches her attention, and when she lowers her hand to get a look at Weiren they’re staring at her.

“W-what?” Now she’s concerned, what is wrong? Does she really look that strange?

“I just- you made a joke,” they say, blinking, and her cheeks warm more and she has to look down again, because joking isn’t something she does, laughing isn’t something she does, she isn’t  _ funny _ , it must not be right for her-

There’s arms thrown around her neck and she feels Weiren against her, and they’re hugging her, and  _ laughing  _ too, and she’s so  _ confused _ .

“I’m sorry,” Weiren says between their own laughs, and she’s frozen, so confused, “I’ve just never seen you like this before, but it’s wonderful, and you’re wonderful, and I love your laughter.”

Her cheeks burn hotter, because this is so strange, but Weiren sounds so genuinely happy, somehow to have witnessed her mirth, but laughing is so embarrassing, but they’re  _ happy  _ because of it, and she doesn’t know how to feel. 

Beyond all the embarrassment, though, her chest feels lighter, her  _ heart  _ feels lighter, like she’s having fun, which is also weird, because she doesn’t have fun. The only fun she has is when she’s tormenting Weiren with her touch, but this is different from that, and they’re both laughing, and it feels so strange and freeing. They’re hugging her so close and she loves how that feels and she loves that they’re happy, and so after a long pause she hugs them back, holding them close because that way they don’t have to see how flushed her face is with embarrassment, and because she likes to hold them back.

She’s never had a morning like this. Never woken up with something to spark laughter and joy, not like this, and it’s weird but it’s wonderful, and she wonders if she’ll be able to have this again. How can they make her feel like this? Beyond wanting to  _ have  _ them, somehow they’ve made her so joyful in such a strange and unfamiliar way.

As if that isn’t enough when the laughter subsides they do what they said were going to do: they kiss her, long and passionately, with affection in their eyes. She doesn’t take control, not this time, but she reciprocates, and it’s strange but interesting, and then they’re at her ear, trailing a tongue along the rim as she gasps. They move down to her neck, mouthing at her skin in the way they learned from her, and it feels so nice, like they’re just happy to give her pleasure. The sleeves and neckline of the dress are pulled down to reveal her chest, and they tend to it carefully, their lips on her flesh so gently, laving her breasts and then focusing on her nipples, building that pleasure inside her and then they trail even farther down, pushing the gown up higher where she feels embarrassed that she isn’t wearing her undergarments but she’s right, it makes it so much easier for them to keep going, and they do.

They take their time in the way that she does but not as extreme, running hands along her legs and then using their lips, trailing kisses from knee to core. Then they shift back to lie down and place their head adequately, where they hook their arms under her thighs to get a better angle, and she allows them to just do exactly what they were planning. 

With her hands in their hair and gasps falling from her lips, Weiren pleasures her for a long time, longer than she expected, and they are content to just keep going, pulling climax after climax from her like she does for them, and it’s so strange for her that they do this, but it feels so good, and they love her so much that they’re  _ happy  _ to do this for her.

Vicouryn’s heart has never felt so full, and perhaps when they’re done she’ll tell Nahlia that she needs to take some time off, because beyond anything else she wants to take a day to spend entirely with them, and feel that kind of fullness in her heart for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol dis one i cried da most while writing it OOPS


	6. In the Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiren's new wardrobe is complete, and Vicouryn takes the day to spend entirely with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RELATED TAGS: consensual use of vampiric influence (4 bondage reasons ok), vaginal sex w/ strapon, cunnilingus, bondage, multiple orgasms, probably overstimulation, consensual delirious sex?? idk how to label it but like weiren gives enuff blood 2 get a lil dizzy if yanno what i mean ;)
> 
> ALSO for the forseeable future i will be reverting back to updating once per week (Fridays) since these chapters are taking longer to write and i wanna do em well. i still have the next 2 finished but i wanna do more on the rest of em while i figure out the deets of whats going on

Well, she must admit…

Vicouryn raises a thoughtful hand to her chin as Freya ties the ribbon of the garment, Weiren obediently standing still as the tailor assesses the fit.

Freya has done quite a stellar job, as always. But this time, Vicouryn is even more pleased than usual.

Beyond just tailoring the existing clothes to Weiren’s broader frame, she has crafted a very wonderful assortment of other types of clothes, all in the taste Vicouryn described to her, and it looks  _ very  _ good. Fine clothes are one thing, but style is another, and Weiren really is something else in these garments. 

Of course, these clothes are more similar to Vicouryn's own wardrobe, mostly black but with elegant patterns or feathery motifs, but they are not the same. For Weiren she has requested subtle embroidery and imagery of plantlife, because they like things of that nature for some reason, and Freya has done it in a way that makes it still look gothic.

Many of the clothes emphasize their upper chest, neck and shoulders with straps and patterns and sheer fabric, but in a very elegant and tasteful way, and many have collars that make their skin very easily accessible. Not to mention there’s a few pieces that leave parts of the back exposed as well as the chest, though of course there are coats and capelets to hide those parts. Those windows to their flesh are for  _ her,  _ not for anyone else.

There’s some dresses, too, which she  _ really  _ likes how Weiren looks when wearing those, similar to her dresses in some ways but again slightly tailored more to their preferences, but only slightly. They haven’t really worn dresses that frequently, she knows, but they previously said that they wouldn’t mind trying some on. The dresses come with extra layers like the other clothes, some fine dark cloaks that give them quite a noble silhouette, and the skirts are folded over each other so that it would be easy for her to pull the layers apart and access their legs.

Her influence on the clothes are quite clear. Really, they look exactly as if she has claimed them, which is what she wants. In another world she wishes she could sit atop her throne and have Weiren perched on her lap, because then everyone could see and know that they belong to her, but of course that can never happen.

“As always, you have done very well, Freya,” she says as the tailor steps back and Weiren turns around to face Vicouryn, currently wearing one such dress. This is a particularly exquisite one. The top mimics an elegant button down of a sheer fabric, but the chest is left open and the collar is instead fastened with a ribbon. The sleeves are long and loose with cuffs at the wrist, also in that sheer material and each with a single button. Framing their collarbone, there is a black corset embroidered with subtle vines that covers the lower part of their chest, cupping their pectorals. Moving down the corset narrows but only a bit, just to the natural width of their waist, and from that, black fabric falls in a long skirt.

And that is just one out of several. There are more, in differing styles but the important part is that all of them make Weiren look somehow even more ravishing than before, and they’re crafted so that she knows exactly how to access the body behind the fabric. 

“Thank you, my queen,” Freya returns, dipping her head, “No further adjustments need to be made; everything fits as it should.”

“Good.” Vicouryn is very,  _ very  _ happy with that. This means she can have them wear the clothes starting today, which is perfect, because the rest of her day is  _ off _ . She’s done the unthinkable and is going to take this day for herself and for Weiren, and she’s far enough ahead that her work should not be impeded. Nahlia appeared to be subtly glad when she requested her assistance in rescheduling meetings; Vicouryn has not taken a day off in… well, for long enough that she can’t remember the last one. After all, her entire life has been about making sure Mevaden is thriving.

But now she has something else she wants to dedicate some time to.

“Nahlia will give you the rest of your payment; you shall find that there is more than previously agreed upon. You have outdone yourself with this, and so you will be rewarded appropriately.” Vicouryn turns her attention back to Freya, who simply nods with a calm expression of her own, very businesslike but clearly pleased. There’s a moment where the tailor exchanges a small smile with Weiren, which the queen isn’t expecting, and then she departs with a bow and a goodbye. 

She supposes they are getting along well with the other staff of the castle due to their friendly nature. Even Nahlia has mentioned how they’ve gotten to know the others: the attendants, the royal guard, the cook, the gardener, practically everyone. Though Vicouryn arranged for meals to be brought for them, they’ve instead opted to eat with others, which she supposes makes sense because otherwise they may have gotten lonely. Because the queen is so busy during the day, she never gets to see what Weiren is up to while she is working, but it sounds like they’ve made many friends across the manor, which is all as well because it solidifies the fact that they  _ belong  _ here with her, in her own home. 

Now sufficiently alone, Vicouryn looks Weiren up and down with a pleased smirk, taking in the sight of them in this dress, but there’s something that she wants to adjust. She steps closer towards them as they look shyly down at themself, their hands holding the skirt curiously. In the way she likes to intimidate people, she passes them and circles behind, and with careful hands she finds the loose golden tie holding their hair back in a low ponytail and pulls it free. Then with her hand gently gliding on their shoulder, she returns to their front, completing the circle. She trails those fingers up their neck to tilt their head up to look properly at her; they should not be embarrassed. With her other hand she pockets the hair tie, for the time being.

“You really like when my hair is down,” Weiren comments with a small smile.

“I do,” she returns, unfazed, “Though I quite  _ especially  _ like how you look in this.” 

Before they have the chance to look down again bashfully, Vicouryn lets out just a little bit of her power, gently holding them in place, keeping their eyes locked together. Of course, they must be even more adept at resisting it now, but their cheeks simply darken and they allow her to do this.

They allow so much from her...

“I hope you will wear these clothes often,” she says, her other hand reaching to touch their neck and then trail down to their exposed collarbone, “ _ but  _ only for  _ me _ . No one else can see you looking this wonderful unless I am there as well.”

There’s a shift in Weiren’s expression but their eyes remain directed at her, and the corner of their lips go up just the slightest bit even though their blush intensifies. Gods, she loves how she can make them flush so easily.

“Of course,” they say, “I’m yours, after all.”

So wonderful, so  _ perfect _ . 

And them allowing this mild influence to stay, the one where instead of using her hand she simply applies her vampiric power to keep them looking at her, unresisting and content to let it be there… there’s something quite delightful about that. She wonders how much influence they would allow her to enact… nothing to alter their thoughts, of course, but just a bit to restrain them, with magic instead of physical bonds. 

Hmm, well. They did say anything at any time. She reduces the distance between their faces, watching them closely as she maintains her power. Of course, they are unable to look away—well, they could very easily break out of the charm, but they aren’t doing that—and they simply look at her as she comes closer.

“You are,” she says softly, the hand on their chin moving up to cup their cheek as the one on their chest dips teasingly underneath the sheer fabric at their shoulder. A small part of her is expecting them to struggle, to be upset, but they’ve reassured her over and over how they trust her and what she does.

She kisses them, closing her eyes and severing the connection of influence, but the only movement Weiren does is to tilt their head to deepen the kiss and reciprocate, completely unbothered by what she did. Just a few moments later, and she pulls back to see Weiren’s expression.

“Can I touch back, or do you want me to not move?” They inquire earnestly.

Literally,  _ so  _ perfect. 

“I won’t lie; I do like when you are unable to move,” she returns, cocking her head in a pleased fashion.

“Good thing we have lots of things to help with that in particular,” Weiren jokes slyly, and she loves it. She loves how much they want to indulge her. 

“So you are not averse to my influence,” she murmurs, tracing up their cheekbone with her thumb. Although she has much control, she just wants to make sure, make certain they want everything she does. The thought of stepping too far and hurting them with her carelessness is a horrible one. The only pain she can inflict on them is the kind they desire: the bite, the marks, her grip on them, but nothing more. She must be careful, lest they decide they want to leave, lest their love fades.

“No,” Weiren affirms, “You can use it when you want. If you want.” 

Though, both of them know that they have strength enough to resist and break free if they really need to. They are stronger than before, too. 

“You make yourself more desirable with every passing minute,” Vicouryn sighs, gazing down at them, looking at their reddened face and small grin, their hair falling around their shoulders, her fingers underneath the cloth on their shoulder. So desirable, but with her claim on them; through that fabric she can see the faint marks on their neck, the marks left behind by her fangs and her lips.

“You too,” Weiren says, “I’m falling a little harder everyday.”

_ Oh _ .

Those words actually give pause to Vicouryn and she thinks there might be a blush ready to form on her own face but she immediately locks her expression down, holding that reaction back with everything she can. 

A beat passes as she finds a proper response despite a thumping in her ears.

She can handle this.

“Good,” she says, “That is good to hear.”

Weiren’s smile gets a bit bigger; it’s such an earnest expression that her barely-held-back reaction is struggling to surface, but she tamps it down still.

“Thank you for having me,” Weiren says, resting a warm hand atop the one on their face and leaning into it, doing that thing they always do that she loves to see, but the pounding gets stronger for some reason, and she tries to ignore it.

Stupid feelings she can’t always control, but she can control this paladin, because they want to be controlled, and that will distract her from these strange emotions.

“Always,” she says, firmly, looking back into their eyes and reaching with her influence, harder this time, hard enough that it will hold when she looks away, so that she can put her efforts to kissing them down to breathlessness and that they will simply accept it. Their body becomes limp but she catches them and carries them to the chaise lounge, laying them down across the cushions so she can straddle their thighs in that nice, familiar position. Perhaps their touch on her is pleasant, but sometimes she does quite enjoy when she is the one with all the control, when they cannot touch her and surprise her heart. She just needs to affirm her own control over herself and over them.

Weiren gazes up at her, still with that smile on their face because somehow they’re happy with this, which is good. She takes their wrists and places them on either side of their head and then brushes their hair out of their face, clearing the way for her lips.

“Can I kiss back?” Weiren asks, and they’re always so considerate.

“ _ Yes, _ ” Vicouryn returns, though even if they kiss back she is sure to be the one overwhelming them because she knows what they like, and she knows how long they can go without a breath. She reduces her influence appropriately, knowing that they will obediently lie there without her magic holding them down, but it’s nice to feel that they just simply have it on them, like a mark or a bite but this is a magical trace, another symbol of belonging to her.

“And, um, could you hold my hands?” They ask again, this time a little quieter.

A breath escapes Vicouryn at that request; they have mentioned that they like that.

It’s so endearing...

“In a bit,” she says, instead busying her hands with undoing the fastenings of the corset on their front, because perhaps she should really get down to business and mark them properly down here too. Then, after she’s opened that part up and exposed their chest properly, her hands find theirs where she threads her fingers with theirs, and they sigh in satisfaction when she does that. 

“Thank you,” the paladin says with a smile that sends another weird racing feeling through her, and she simply responds by claiming those lips with hers in the way that she always does. Today, they can start their day together off like this, with her giving them pleasure in the kisses that they love and desire, and she can do this for a nice, long time.

***

Who could have thought Vicouryn would have the chance to do something as mundane as read alongside the one who loves her? In her past she almost always read books in solitude, though those books were ones of history and knowledge, not of fun stories. But now she is sitting with Weiren on their bed, the pillows rearranged to support their backs, as both of them quietly and peacefully read through books. They sit in such a way so that their shoulders and sides are in constant contact, which is something of a nice relief.

Out of curiosity she asked Weiren for their recommendations and they selected one of the books from the shelf; apparently they’d already read a couple of the ones she’d provided for them, but too late she remembered Lynne’s words from so long ago that they like to read  _ romantic  _ books. So not only is this a new experience in reading with someone other than her father but also now she is reading something…  _ strange. _ To be fair she intentionally stocked one of the shelves with books of that type for them, but she hasn’t really read books like that herself.

She’s only a few pages into  _ The Siren & the Hare  _ but finds it hard to concentrate for some reason. This is a far cry from the kind of literature she normally reads, after all. She read a page and realized she didn’t even take in the words and had to turn back and try again multiple times. 

When she glances down to the side, Weiren is reading intently with a content expression, their body relaxed and warm against her. They’re already part of the way through with this book, maybe by about half, but they were already in the middle of it before today. A second later and they notice her gaze somehow, and she’s for some reason embarrassed but she doesn’t show it, instead opting to keep her face impassive as always, because she has the  _ right  _ to look at them when she wants.

Weiren gives her a soft smile and leans more against her, and again it’s… it’s so strange that these delicate and chaste actions seem to give her some kind of anxiety despite the fact she’s done far more than this. She’s noticing these reactions more and more and they’re so intensely present all of the damn time. 

Vicouryn has a suspicion but she doesn’t want to entertain that thought.

“You know, I got this book in Gedal,” Weiren says, breaking the silence as they lift the book to show her the cover, “Back when we were able to meet again.”

It’s a green dyed leather book titled  _ Blooming Into Your Love  _ in gold ink, and it looks… well frankly it looks kind of silly. Certainly the craftsmanship of the book is nice though it appears worn, which makes sense for having been in their possession since Gedal, but the title sounds so corny. Still, she hides her unimpressed reaction because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.

“How interesting,” she returns.

“I’ve read it several times already but it reminds me of those times I had with you.” Weiren looks down at the cover and traces the engraved image of a flower with a fond expression. “I think those were some of the best days of my life.”

_ Shit _ .

The jittering turns into a thrumming, more fiercely this time.

“Surely there will be better ones,” she says after a pause, “Now that you are here with me. Besides, you’ve had the chance for far more touch and pleasure since then.”

“That’s true,” Weiren agrees, “But I treasure every single day I get to see you.”

_ Fuck _ .

The thrumming turns into a pounding, and her heart is jumping so aggressively. She has to take a moment to compose herself, forcing the reaction down, forcing the red from tingeing her cheeks. Surely if it was literally any other person she wouldn’t be reacting this way, right? It’s only because Weiren has come so close to her, and because they’re so overwhelmingly earnest that anyone would be thrown by their words.

But any other person wouldn’t treat her like this. Only they would. Sweet, foolish Weiren who chose her and not anyone else, despite the fact that she can’t tell them that she loves them back.

Vicouryn sets her book down on the side as Weiren returns to reading.

“If you want, you can read this one too,” they’re saying, “it doesn’t have that much action but it is very sweet. The main characters take a long time to fall in love, but they’re on a journey together and they grow closer over the course of it.”

Vicouryn wraps her arm around their shoulder, pulling them closer to her. They blink and look back at her, and then fluster just a bit.

“Only if you want to, though. Not everyone likes romance books, I know,” they hurry to append, most likely reacting to her impassive expression, thinking she doesn’t care about their books, but she does find it endearing to see them so wrapped up in something.

“Why read books when you can instead-” Vicouryn cuts herself off, because hold on a damn moment. She was  _ going  _ to say: why read books when you can instead have it in real life? Why doesn’t Weiren just satisfy themself with her companionship?

But she can’t say that, because that’s not what they’re doing. Sure she is holding them, and touching them, and spending time with them, but she isn’t telling them that she loves them, and though they desire touch, they must also desire the other things that come with…  _ romance _ . They must desire going on dates and meeting each other’s family and silly little things like that. Of course, they must be reading these books because Vicouryn can’t give them what they truly want. She can’t even spend that much time with them; she can only give them her hours of rest and meager free time.

What else can she give them? Is there anything else she can do to satisfy their wants?

“Instead what?” Weiren asks, brows creased as they look up at her in curiosity.

“Nothing,” she says quickly, “there is nothing wrong with reading books.”

There’s a pause as the paladin gazes at her, and her other arm comes around them to squeeze them tighter as she averts her gaze, now a different kind of a racing in her heart, an unsettled one. What is she supposed to say?

“Well,” they say, “books are fun and all but it doesn’t compare to being able to spend time with you.”

She looks at them, eyes widening slightly before she even notices she’s doing it.

“This  _ is  _ your day off, so maybe we should spend it doing things you want,” they suggest, setting their own book down on the side, too, “I can read another time, anyway.”

She  _ thought  _ that sitting quietly by them reading would be fine, but her brain is being uncooperative.

She doesn’t even know what else to do; she takes days off so infrequently that she doesn’t really have any other… hobbies. She was planning on having Weiren do whatever they wanted and she would simply be there, too. Otherwise the only other things she had planned were fine meals to be brought to their room, and that when night fell she would take them on a walk through the gardens, to fulfill their request in their letter. Maybe they could have some wine again, and then perhaps another night of pleasure until they were tired and satisfied.

In an alternate universe where she wasn’t a queen and the two of them could go out together in daylight, there would be so many other options…

There’s still several hours of daylight left, but she can’t spend it all just touching them, can she? Wouldn’t Weiren want more than just physical intimacy?

“Tell me what you did after leaving Gedal,” she says, finally, pulling Weiren more firmly into her arms, “We were apart for a long time, and I am curious to know what happened with you and your Concord.”

“Oh gods,” the paladin says, “ _ so  _ much. I can hardly believe everything that happened.”

Meaning the topic can last for a long time, and she would be learning more about them.

“Tell me everything,” Vicouryn returns, “I want to know everything.”

“I mean, I spent a lot of time missing you,” Weiren admits, and Vicouryn is glad that this position means they aren’t looking directly at her, because her stupid body reacts by sending heat to her face. She is pleased with those words, though. Very pleased.

She missed them, too. She missed their warm smiles and flustered expressions and gentle voice. She missed how they tasted on her lips and how their breaths quickened under her touch. 

Touching Weiren was the only respite she had from being queen and dealing with war in those times. Without them she was doing nothing but work. She felt their absence so prominently and painfully, like a hole in her heart; the days stretched on longer without something to look forward to in the night. She felt colder without the heat of their touch, and she did not have access to that extra blood, that exquisite blood that they want to give to her so freely. 

She missed them so, so fucking much.

Of course she dealt with it, as she deals with everything. It was nothing she could not handle; Vicouryn does not  _ need  _ them, but she can’t deny the relief she feels now that they are in her grasp once again. Safely with her in Mevaden where she can see them, touch them, and make sure they are happy. Where she can hold them in her arms every night because that’s where they belong.

Where they can profess their love over and over even if she doesn’t deserve it, because she wants to hear those words from them until the end of time.

“Life surely was duller without you,” she says, “but I know you were doing important things for Doluum.”

“You, too,” Weiren responds, “we both were doing a lot. I’m just glad I can be with you again.”

“I, as well.” She is glad, very glad. She inhales deeply as she leans closer to them, taking in their comforting scent, their presence, and she feels so content. Weiren leans against her, too, one of their hands settling on hers in that soothing way.

“I guess I can start with, um, Kohson then,” they muse, “We traveled back west with King Rundahl and Princess Cecilia.”

Ah, yes, that she knows. The old king and the assertive princess. Cecilia will most likely be a fine queen when she succeeds her father. She is strong and willful and unafraid to say what needs to be said, but also behaves appropriately when necessary, exacting the right amount of etiquette. She’s smarter, too, which will be good, because then she and Vicouryn will outnumber the brash and overconfident King Yahsan for any future big decisions.

Vicouryn contents herself with holding Weiren in her arms, leaning her head against theirs as they talk, recounting their adventures for her in that voice she loves to hear.

She could really sit here and listen to them forever, and they talk for a long, long time.

***

The time passes languidly, Vicouryn and Weiren spending it to talk and to touch over the hours. As planned, food comes and goes for Weiren’s meals, but they are accompanied with small desserts that Weiren insists on splitting with her. The paladin talks of their travels and what they recorded in their journal, mentioning how they’ve been exclusively using the quill she bequeathed to them. That made her quite pleased, indeed, and then they’re holding up a forkful of pie for her.

She asks them to play the lyre, and though they are rusty, they can play a few simple songs, and watching their fingers dance across the strings is mesmerizing. A paladin of many talents, and they are all hers.

Finally, though, night begins to fall.

“Come,” Vicouryn says, rising from the bed and extending a hand to Weiren, “Tonight I have something in mind.” Weiren blinks up at her and then takes her hand, letting her help them up.

“Like what?” They ask curiously as they let go, using their hands to readjust the skirt of the dress to hang properly after having been rumpled from sitting.

Vicouryn makes a small smile. This should make them happy.

“I want you to see the gardens,” she says, “Perhaps we can find you a place to have one of your own.”

Their eyes widen as they look up at her, surprised.

“Oh! Really?” They exclaim, standing straight up, and she nods.

“Yes,” Vicouryn affirms, “Come.”

She leads them over to the balcony and opens the door and then gazes out. This particular room faces the back of the castle to the more private gardens that are walled in, where there are less guards. A sweep of her gaze across the environment confirms no one to be around currently, and she turns back to Weiren, who appears to be hiding a confused look, and she laughs. Then she lifts them up in her arms, double checks the surroundings, and simply leaps with her supernatural vampiric strength. 

She doesn’t want to have any of the guards, attendants, or guests seeing Weiren, after all, not like this when they are with her. 

There’s a surprised gasp that escapes Weiren before they clamp a hand on their mouth as the two of them briefly soar, and then she’s falling quickly to the ground where she lands easily and quietly on the grass beside the cobbled path. Glancing back down with a smirk, Weiren’s got a slightly frazzled expression, but their smile is big behind their hand. She sets them down, gently, and then smooths her hair back, very pleased.

“Wow,” they finally say, shaking their head, “that was fun. How strong are you really?”

“Strong enough,” she returns, and then her gaze falls down where their hands are patting down their skirt again. 

She can fulfill their request, now, by walking through the gardens, but she can do even more, she thinks. She was reticent of the idea of holding their hand, but it seems to give them so much joy that perhaps she should allow that for them.

“You’re just amazing,” Weiren is saying as they smile up at her, and then she looks back to their face, thinking. Yes, she should do this. Perhaps they will fall in love harder if she can give them this. 

The vampire reaches her hand out and finds Weiren’s, and she threads her fingers intimately with theirs while maintaining a stoic expression despite the sudden mounting adrenaline in her chest. Not to worry, she can ignore that, too. Besides, it’s nothing compared to Weiren’s eyes widening again as they look between her and their entwined hands.

“I am,” she replies, giving them a firm squeeze as they blush, their smile turning shy and affectionate. The racing grows stronger.

“You are. Thank you,” Weiren says, softly, squeezing back, “I appreciate it.”

“You are welcome.” See, it was the right decision. They’re so joyful about it. Before she can look at their reddened face any more, she steps forward and begins to lead them once again, giving her body some time to calm down from these unwanted reactions. Their palm is so warm in hers, so warm with their life and their gentleness. She wonders how she ever even got the opportunity to experience a blessing such as this. “It has been a long while, but I am hoping I can properly fulfill your request, from your letter.”

“Oh gods,” Weiren says, “I’m a little embarrassed of that letter.”

“Do not be,” Vicouryn returns, giving them a brief glance, “You should not be embarrassed. I… appreciate that you wrote it.”

Appreciated it enough to read it over and over again while they were gone, longing for their return, fearing that they’d never come back, but taking in the joy of Weiren expressing how important she is to them.

Their blush only increases as they avert their gaze.

“Um,” they say, “I can write more, if you want.”

She continues walking, fighting the racing in her heart. More letters? More reminders of their love and their affection for her?

“Anytime I need to leave for a bit, I can write another one,” they append, and her heart, for some reason, drops like a rock, thudding at the soles of her feet as her thoughts freeze in place.

Right, yes, of course they will not be staying here eternally.

“Do so,” she says, maintaining impassivity as she looks forward and not at them, not wanting to give away anything, “Your letter was... good… to receive.”

“Then I will!” Weiren responds with determination, “I’ll write as many as you want.”

Lots of letters means that they are planning to leave multiple times, but that also means they will return after each departure, right? Her grip on their fingers tighten just a bit. Their return isn’t guaranteed. Their feelings may change and even if it isn’t them, there are outside influences that could obstruct their return.

“Good,” she says, even though her mind is telling her to trap them in her grasp, grab them in her arms and sink her teeth in their flesh and force them to stay, to never leave, and she hates that she is thinking these thoughts. “Tell me about these moonflowers you talked of.”

This question is to distract her from her traitorous, illogical brain.

“Oh, yes. I need to start planting them soon, once we’re out of the wintry season. They grow on vines, so I’ll need a trellis or something for them to grow around,” Weiren says thoughtfully, “They only bloom at night, so I hope I can show them to you when they’re fully grown.

They continue to talk about gardening, a topic in which Vicouryn personally isn’t very interested, but they seem to be so fond of the practice that she finds she likes hearing them talk about it. She’s leading them through a winding path surrounded by shrubs and bushes, but much plantlife is scarce because they’re at the tail-end of winter. There are a few blooms, probably some kind of year-long plant but she doesn’t know enough to say.

“A gazebo!” Weiren exclaims quietly, pulling her from her thoughts, and they’re pointing at the corner of the garden, where there’s a structure tucked behind some hedges. Then they’re the one walking ahead, now their pace a little faster as she trails behind just a bit, still holding onto their hand. “Oh, it would be so nice to grow them here!”

Why is a gazebo so exciting to them?

Weiren comes to a stop in front of it, looking up and around before glancing back at her with a blushing face.

“Um,” they begin, “well. Gods,” they say, a little flustered. She gives them a look as she steps inside the gazebo, gently pulling them to sit down on the seats inside.

“Hm?” She prompts as they sit beside her, and they’re laughing quietly to themselves.

“I… I had a daydream about this before,” Weiren confesses, and she blinks. When? “It feels so long ago. Back in Gedal, I think, though I’ve definitely had more since then.”

Back then? They were daydreaming about her then?

“It was right after I uh… I think the second night,” Weiren says, shooting her a smile, “When you first marked me. The day after that. I didn’t know what to think of everything.”

“Tell me about this dream,” she says, curious. A dream about a gazebo? After the night of when she first kissed them to breathlessness?

“I was falling in love even then, I’m sure,” they say, leaning against her and placing their other hand atop their held ones, “Maybe even before Gedal.”

Vicouryn looks at them incredulously. Falling in love with her before they even reunited again in Gedal? That’s unfathomable. All she did was touch their hair and their scars in a few brief meetings. That couldn’t have been enough to make them fall in love so soon?

But she knows that before her, they had nothing. She was their first experience with intimacy and vulnerability.

“Did you know?” She inquires, drawing her brows together. 

“I mean, sort of?” Weiren shrugs. “In the moment I knew that romance wasn’t a possibility, so I kept telling myself there was no use in developing feelings. But you were so kind to me, and I thought of you so often, and I wanted to spend more and more time with you, so in hindsight it feels like it should have been obvious. Even now I just want to make you happy. Just being around you makes me happier.”

Weiren has been kind to her. She thinks of them very frequently. She wants to spend more time with them; being around them does improve her mood.

_ She  _ wants them to be happy. Certainly she holds Weiren at a very high value; after all, providing touch in her sea of solitude was quite a huge boon to her. Not to mention they do so many things specifically to please her. Doesn’t it just make logical sense that she wants them to be happy? If they are happy around her, then they will stay around her, they will stay  _ with  _ her and continue to benefit her, so obviously she should want them to be happy. She doesn’t have to be in love to want someone to benefit her.

Their smile is so warm and bright, she thinks, as they talk joyfully. It was painful when they were in tears and suffering before her. Weiren deserves to experience nothing but happiness for all the good they have brought her.

“The daydream was a pretty big indicator, I think,” they laugh, and she cocks her head, urging them to continue.

“Tell me more. What occurred?”

“I don’t know, I’m kind of a romantic so I was thinking of a lot of things,” Weiren sighs, “Oh, it’s embarrassing.”

“Tell me,” she repeats, bringing her free hand to their face to make them look at her, “I want to know.”

She holds their gaze and they glance down, their smile widening.

“I will. I shouldn’t be embarrassed, we’ve already done so much more than it,” they say, leaning into her hand, prompting the racing in her heart, “In the daydream, we were at a party or something, but the two of us, we left and went to the gardens. Here, I guess.” They gesture briefly to the scene around them.

“A party,” she echoes, drawing her brows together. What a scenario.

“The party isn’t important,” Weiren says, “It was the fact that everyone was somewhere else, and it was just us two out here. I… dreamed that we were holding hands like this.” They squeeze her hand again. “I think you took some blood, and then you put my hair down, and then... we kissed.” They smile up at her.

Even the description is a little embarrassing to hear. They were thinking this before they even gave themself to her? They were thinking this after spending the night with her when she kissed them until they fell victim to a vision?

She’s quiet as she takes this in, the thrumming in her chest still going. How does she feel knowing that Weiren was feeling these things long before Gedal? How long did she dominate their thoughts? She knew she affected them a lot but she didn’t know the extent. 

She is both quite ecstatic to hear this and disturbed by the energy in her heart.

Weiren sits back upright and gazes at her, the red still on their cheeks as she keeps them facing her. Vicouryn gives them a stoic look as she thinks, and then she comes closer.

Her emotions are roiling more than they should and she needs to regain some control over the situation.

“I can make that dream come true,” she says, “the last part, at least.”

“I’d like that,” Weiren whispers softly, leaning towards her, too, and she draws them into a kiss.

Of course, she is not doing this because she loves them. She is simply indulging in their wants so that they will stay with her, even if their lips feel so good and warm against hers, even if she wants to maintain this kiss forever, it is for them, not for her.

Hmm, though.

If they’ve been that much in love with her for that long then she needs to claim them even more.

Vicouryn deepens the kiss, holding them against her and reaching inside with her tongue. They allow her inside, because she is always allowed in any part of them, and she takes, and takes, and takes. She pulls her hand out of theirs so she can place it on the side of their neck and hold them even more firmly in place, not letting them escape as she kisses them, painting across the inside of their mouth with her touch, biting on their lips gently and overwhelming them as their breath gets low. 

Weiren’s hands make it to her waist and she can tell they’re beginning to struggle by the tension in their fingers and the gasps slipping from their lips. Did they dream of this kind of kiss? The kind where she takes control and they have no choice but to follow her motions? What kind of a kiss did they long for? Regardless, she knows they enjoy this kind.

She does not put them in danger, of course, and she pulls away and drags her lips down their jaw to their neck as they suck in a breath. She pulls the ribbon at their neck free, opening up their flesh to her.

“I have my own fantasies,” she whispers against their skin, pulling the fabric away from them as they pant, feeling emboldened. If they love her and love being at her mercy so much perhaps they will  _ like  _ her dark thoughts. If she can get these thoughts across then she’ll have properly gained a bit more control. 

A lot more control, actually, if it goes along well.

“O-oh?” Weiren barely says as she mouths at the side of their neck and then breathes against their ear, prompting shivers.

“Tell me how much you like to be under my control,” she says in a low tone, gripping them harder, “How far does that go?”

Far enough to allow her influence, though they can break out of it. But far enough to allow her to drain them enough to weaken them? Enough to make them delirious underneath her?

“P-pretty far,” the paladin returns as she kisses their ear, her body coming closer to theirs.

“You’re stronger now,” she says, “But what if I took  _ more  _ of you? I can take even further control, even more blood. What if you were  _ weakened  _ before me?”

This is the dangerous part. This may be something too much for them. But of course, that is why she is  _ asking  _ first. 

There’s silence as she licks up the rim of their ear, but they’re gently shaking under her touch, still in that pleasured way they do when she does this. Their trembling breaths are a delight for her to hear.

“Oh,” they breathe, finally, quietly, and she pulls back to look at their flushed face directly as she holds their gaze, influencing them so they cannot look away from her. Their eyes are wide but they don’t look scared. They both know that they are strong enough to withstand much of what she does, so they would not be in any real danger...

She’s terrified, all of a sudden, that what if what she asked was so far that they’re disgusted and fearful and want to run? But they are so submissive, so desiring of her control, so it is possible they may  _ want  _ this. She suspects they do, but she doesn’t want to hurt them. She would never want to step too far, never make them uncomfortable. No one will ever love her in the way they do, no one will ever look at her with their eyes. They are a wonderful treasure and she must take good care of them so that she can bask in their love as long as possible. So that they can be there for her when she falls.

“Of course,” she adds, still in that low tone, “I would be very careful, and I would take very good care of you.”

“I know,” the paladin returns, “I trust you. I know you wouldn’t really hurt me.”

“I said I would make sure no harm would ever come to you,” Vicouryn reminds them. The only harm that should befall them is the kind they  _ desire  _ from  _ her _ , and she would make sure they recover. “But if this is too much, then I will not do it.”

Weiren makes a smile despite being locked in her gaze. 

“No, it’s alright. I wonder how you always know what I like,” they say, laughing lightly with that red dusted on their cheeks, “Sure.”

A breath of relief and disbelief escapes her but she schools her face. So her suspicions are confirmed, and there’s adrenaline now, excitement at the possibilities.

“I honestly don’t understand why you like it,” she says, “but I very much appreciate that you do; it is  _ very  _ compatible with me.”

“I mean, um, I can’t say I didn’t daydream about it already, either.” Their blush intensifies but they laugh again goodnaturedly. So good natured about everything. They are always so calm and relaxed and it makes her want to relax until her heart is reacting strangely, of course. And gods, they daydreamed about her weakening them, her taking that much control over them? How utterly  _ delicious. _

_ “ _ Interesting,” she intones, delighted.

“I don’t know,” they say, “Being helpless before you is just… really nice. Honestly I’ve liked everything you’ve ever done to me, and, well, your control is very… appealing?”

An energy alights within her when they say that so earnestly and she tilts her head, smirking. Even if they leave and return every so often, they like her so much that they want this from her? Certainly they can never get this from anyone else. Certainly they will never leave her, then. They will always return to her, because they love her, and no one else can make them feel this way. No one else will take their blood in the way they like and touch them and control them like her. No one else can shower them with the love they deserve but  _ her _ .

Wait.

“Tell me about  _ those  _ dreams later, but for  _ now,  _ I can make you helpless  _ quite  _ easily,” Vicouryn says, brushing past that thought, still keeping them in place.

“Then go ahead,” Weiren says, exhaling as they relax their body, “I’m all yours.”

_ So fucking wonderful _ . She loves that.

“Then,” she says, now dangerously, “You will hold your wrists behind your back, you will  _ not  _ move, and you will  _ tell  _ me if you ever find yourself close to a release. Since you are  _ mine _ , your pleasure is mine, too, and  _ I  _ will determine when you have it.” She reaches with her influence strongly this time, placing the compulsion inside them, and they stare at her as they shift, their arms moving appropriately as a breath escapes them.

With the hand on their neck she can feel their heart race faster, and they swallow.

“I thought you said that finding the pleasure is what’s most important,” they say with a small smile, a teasing tone in their voice, “Not how long we can hold it off.”

She smirks as they settle into their new position, now even more submissive than before, a beautiful sight to her eyes. Even in this situation they have their humor and gentle words, and it makes her feel better about the things she wants to do to them. The things she wants to do  _ for  _ them, because they want those things just as much.

“I was holding myself back for your sake, Weiren,” she says, leaning back in, “But now that I know you want  _ this _ , I will not hold back anymore.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” Weiren says, “Yes, please.”

She… she  _ loves  _ that. That eager consent, the knowledge they want her and her dark thoughts and her control though surely only to a reasonable amount, of course she will not be turning them into a vampire or draining them to immobility. But drinking just a bit more, enough to make them dizzy perhaps, and making them feel good at the same time? She can do that. She can do more aggressive things and know that they want it, and know that if they ever feel uncomfortable they will tell her because they love and trust her and tell her everything.

She wants to be their everything.

Is that love?

Vicouryn gazes at them, their body silhouetted with just a faint rim of moonlight slipping in underneath the gazebo. They’re sitting upright, their arms tucked behind them as they regard her with warm eyes. Although they’re in this position, their body language is relaxed, because they trust her. The ribbon at their throat is open meaning the fabric at their neck has been pushed aside, baring more of their skin and her marks upon them. Dark hair tumbles down their shoulders and back, light glinting off a few locks. 

Is it love she is feeling when she looks at them? Is that thrumming in her heart love when she takes in the sight of this paladin who is so attached to her? When they hold her hand and press gentle, chaste kisses to her cheek?

Does it matter? Will anything change even if it is? It is not as if she can even openly cherish them. No matter what happens, as long as she is queen, whatever relationship she has with them must remain secret. She could not bear the thought of them being targeted for being important to her.

Weiren’s description of their feelings for her feel dangerously similar to hers, but it isn’t the same, is it? The situation is so precarious. Maybe it is love, maybe it isn’t. It doesn’t matter because she cannot even do anything with that emotion. Whatever is causing her to react in these ways will simply have to sit and fester or depart, because she cannot do anything with that. Maybe they affect her enough to cause feelings but as long as she can keep her actions in control, everything will be okay.

The only thing she can do is touch Weiren and take care of them. 

She can’t love them in the way they deserve, so this is all she can do. She will not insult them by giving them a half-assed version of love. Their love is so strong, potent and pure that if anyone were to love them back it  _ must  _ be of the same caliber.

Vicouryn leans back into their neck, holding them with gentle fingers as she brushes lips across them. She will not give them a weak love, but she can give them her strong desire, her desire to claim them as hers.

It’s silent save for Weiren’s slowing breaths as she tends to their neck with soft kisses, torn between wanting to treat them as if they were fragile versus using a firmer grip. Why are they making her question everything she does? She was ready to be more aggressive but she’s also nervous, because what if they only  _ think  _ they want this and actually find that it isn’t for them?

Unsure with these thoughts she cuts the build-up off and simply bites down, prompting a hitched breath from the paladin as she pierces their skin. It is the least she can do to influence the bite to be gentler, to numb the pain of her fangs down to a pleasurable ache though it does alter their perceptions a bit, but it is for the better because she doesn’t want to hurt them. She doesn’t want them to be in any real pain, just the small amounts that seem to excite them.

“Thank you,” Weiren lets out as their body relaxes after tensing from the intrusion, and a breath escapes her in a laugh. Of course they thank her for this while she is doing it. Though she finds power in them not moving she does find she also misses when they are grasping at her desperately, wanting her against them. They will simply have to change it up every so often.

But the gratitude is reassuring. They like this, of course. So she tightens her hold on them and drinks, careful to keep an eye on their reactions and the temperature of their body, making sure she does not put them in any real danger.

When she’s taken the appropriate amount she withdraws and tends to the wound but more aggressively than she would before, licking and kissing at it and the space around it until it suddenly turns into her marking them again, just an inch or so away from the punctures, and Weiren’s body stiffens as she does, a quiet moan falling from their lips. A sound of pleasure, meaning they are enjoying it.

She loves that they enjoy this.

A cool breeze sweeps across the gardens, gusting across them and Weiren shivers, and  _ shit _ what if it is too cold for them? Though they are used to her touch, their shoulders are out in the chill and wind, and now they’ve just lost some of their blood. They sway, just the slightest bit.

But perhaps before they return to the manor she can warm them up another way…

“How are you feeling?” She asks, needing to confirm that they’re still okay, that they still want this.

“A little tired,” they admit, blinking, “but good. Kind of like when I first got a little drunk.”

“Good.”

Backing away she instead drags a hand up their front to their face, with more force than usual so that it is more than feather light, and she presses her fingers against their lips. It’s been quite a while since she has done this but if she is to touch them perhaps it will help, and she cannot deny how appealing it is to see their subservience in this way. 

Weiren parts their lips and her fingers quest forward into that wet warmth, slipping against their tongue but the whole while their eyes are locked to hers, theirs a little more lidded than before. Here she stares, keeping her face impassive save for the slightest smirk and she moves the fingers in and out, a fun little preview for what she is planning, and Weiren lets out a little sound as she strokes their tongue.

To her surprise they purse their lips around her touch, almost sucking, and when she pulls her fingers free they shift forward as if they don’t want her to go, but that is the extent of their movement, remaining still otherwise like she said.

“Cute,” she comments, and they smile shyly, “You make it seem like you always want me to occupy that mouth of yours.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind,” Weiren jokes back as their head tilts just a bit, the influence of their loss of blood a bit more apparent with their loose motion.

“But then how could I hear your wonderful voice?” Vicouryn slides her wet fingers down now, from face down to their hips where she needs to glance down and find where the skirt layers over itself. “I want to hear all of your sounds.”

“I suppose that’s a good point,” the paladin returns, looking down to follow her hand. Her fingers slip underneath a dark fold at their knee, and then glides up, opening up the skirt at the slit to expose their leg . Weiren shivers again; they must be getting cold out here like this. But not for too long. Her hand dips down the inside of their thigh as they inhale.

“Give me more space,” she commands, and automatically their legs part further, “Perhaps you had your daydream about a kiss in a place like this, but I will give you more than that. After tonight you’ll remember this gazebo as one full of my control over you, and my giving of pleasure to you.”

“Either way,” Weiren breathes as her fingers graze them through the cloth of their undergarments, “I’ll remember it as a place full of my love for you.”

Vicouryn lets out a soft sigh. No matter how she tries to spin the situation into her control, Weiren remains so sturdily affectionate, making her heart jump. She will never be able to escape that, never be able to escape the way they make her feel, because they’re so overwhelmingly in love with her that she will feel like this regardless. 

She may be unable to do much with the emotion of love, if it is that, but perhaps she can’t ignore it anymore, because it will never go away. She can try her best to take control and force the situation to become more physical than emotional but Weiren will just say something else adorable to negate that.

The queen shifts closer, her heart thrumming but she just lets it be, and continues to touch them as she planned. Things don’t have to change even if she does have feelings, right? She can keep those feelings inside but accept them for now, they don’t have to go anywhere. She lets her fingers stroke them slowly, drifting up and down against their core to begin the buildup of pleasure. 

“Can we kiss again?” Weiren whispers softly, and she feels her heart warm.

_ I wonder if I like you _ .

“You may reciprocate.” Vicouryn leans in to kiss them again, at first gently but then quickly turning it more forceful, remembering that the both of them are fine with it being more aggressive. Would anyone else desire her control like this? Her free hand plants firmly on the back of their head, fingers tangling in their hair as she kisses them, reaching and taking again, biting on their lips and stroking their tongue. All the while, her other slips underneath the thin cloth of their new undergarments to touch them directly, prompting a gasp against her lips. 

Does wanting to pleasure Weiren without caring much for her own satisfaction mean she loves them?

The paladin trembles in her grasp, still unmoving except for their own lips and tongue, returning the favor but of course as always they are submitting to her touch, letting her take control. How do their loose gasps and warm lips feel so good against hers? Even more than before she finds they taste and feel so damn exquisite.

_ I wonder if I love you _ .

Vicouryn strokes them and finds they’re already aroused, no doubt due to her dark words and forceful touches, and Weiren moans lightly into the kiss. She gives them a break to breathe as she focuses on dipping inside them to gather some arousal and then spread it further around them, gliding through soft folds of warm flesh. She can reach inside this area now and claim this unexplored territory; how  _ wonderful _ .

Weiren bites their lip as their shoulders rise and fall, their eyes falling shut as she touches them so carefully. She remembers when she was so easily able to bring them to release back in Gedal, not once but twice with just her hand, but this time once they come she will bring them back to the room and continue further; she will bequeath pleasure upon them until they’re exhausted and satisfied and unable to think of anything but her.

“Already so wet,” she comments as she continues to let her fingers run along the outside, and Weiren lets out a breath.

“T-that’s what you do to me,” they return, managing a short glance at her and she’s struck by that needy expression in their eyes, “Ah, gods, I  _ love  _ you.”

_ I might love you too _ .

“Yes,” she says, “This is what I do to you. You love me so much, and no one else will touch you like I do.”

She draws a shaky gasp from them as her finger enters them, and her grip on the back of their neck draws them close to resume her forceful kissing.

“And-” they say before their lips meet, and she pauses to let them speak, “No one else will be as wonderful, and kind, and strong as you,” they say breathily, gazing so longingly at her, halting Vicouryn in her motions as she feels a heat come to her face but hopefully it’s dark enough that it isn’t noticeable. She presses her lips together and can’t think of a response so she claims their mouth again.

Of course, it is not just her touch that they like. They’ve said so before, too, that it is not just the physical companionship. There’s more that they like about her, for some reason. Even when she was weak and vulnerable they liked her and did what they could to ease her pain. 

She eased their pain, too, didn’t she? Did they not help each other when struggling? Her illogical thoughts and their broken nightmares?

Is it love to do that for one another?

Her mind is racing through so many different thoughts and she tries to push them aside for now just so she can focus on Weiren. She just wants them to feel good, feel nice, feel taken care of, and so she continues to touch, reaching into them and stroking along them as she kisses them, waiting for their breath to run low again. One digit turns into two, and she’s increasing her speed as they try to return the kiss.

Vicouryn has always held back her vampiric speed and strength in every situation, but what if perhaps she let just a bit slip to increase their pleasure? They’re loose and just a single step into delirium so already their sensations should be enhanced, but they deserve  _ more  _ pleasure. She strokes at the nub at the top of their core and then returns to their interior and Weiren lets out a cry as she does, their tongue falling lax as she controls them, controls their body because they are in her possession. 

Then she channels that supernatural speed, just a little, to allow her fingers to glide across both their outside and inside, alternating between touching those sensitive spots over and over, at a pace that no one else can really do for them. What she loves is that despite this pleasure she’s bestowing upon them, they are barely moving in return, unable to escape or to press harder in her touch, just gasping and shaking as she undoes them in the night air, completely and entirely underneath her control. What is even more delicious is that they want all of that, all of her and her control over them.

Just the way it should be. 

“Oh, gods, wait-” Weiren tries to say, pulling back from the kiss, “I’m- ha-  _ close!” _

Right, she told them to let her know. She had forgotten, lost in wanting to make them feel good, but they did not forget. So good of them. She is tempted to make them come now, though, because she loves how they look when they do, but she wants to put them on the edge so that she can carry their flushed body back to the room and make them wait for the next one.

There is a compromise she can make, though. She can take them through a climax now, and then build them up to another one, and keep them hanging on  _ that  _ cliff.

Vicouryn smiles down at them and simply increases her speed as Weiren trembles.

“You may have  _ this  _ one,” she says, continuing her stimulation, and then their mouth is open as their head tosses back, their body shaking underneath her grasp, and she knows she’s successfully given them a release. She continues to touch as they tremble, leaning in to kiss at their neck. “Breathe, Weiren. There is  _ more  _ to come.”

More, indeed.

She will give them so much more. With them weak in her arms she sticks to the shadows until she’s close enough to their balcony and leaps back up, the wind cold in her hair and Weiren warm against her. 

No one trusts her like they do.

Once they’ve returned she sits them on the bed and pulls the clothes off of their body, carefully because she does not want to ruin them, though she imagines tearing them off. Weiren looks at her this whole time, their eyes half-lidded and cheeks red as they sway, clearly a little dizzy but in a way that seems relaxed. She will not make them this delirious that frequently, just every once in a while when they want to, when they are comfortable with it, when they want to rest and be tended to. 

Part of her thinks she just likes to have this control, but another part of her is just… enthralled by the way they trust her enough to be like this before her. The way they love her so much and put all their trust in her, knowing she won’t really hurt them. They let her so close in a way she’s never felt before. 

Is it love to want to bask in this intimacy?

“You’re so pretty,” Weiren says with a loose grin as she sets their dress on the side, “I love seeing you.”

“You are exquisite as well,” Vicouryn returns as her heart leaps, brushing a hand down the side of their face, and then she’s pushing them to recline, directing them so that she can properly tie them down. Has anyone ever really called her pretty? With practiced hands she undresses them entirely, leaving their clothes in a small pile beside the bed. How should she pleasure them? Vicouryn makes her way to the dresser to retrieve the rope and a few other items. The blindfold?  _ Yes _ . 

Weiren is lying patiently on the bed waiting for her when she returns, completely nude and in a relaxed position. Their smile widens when they see her again, and she laughs lightly. The sight is so wonderful on her eyes, and with their help she secures their wrists to the two bedposts at the head, separately so that their neck is still accessible. For ease she leaves their legs loose in their bindings, but the thought of tying down all their limbs to the point of immobility certainly is a delicious one. Perhaps later…

“I will blindfold you,” she says after securing the knot, and she holds up the silky strip of fabric to show them.

“That sounds fun,” Weiren returns with a grin.

If she blindfolds them, she won’t have to try so hard to hide her reactions to their affection.

“Yes,” she agrees, “Very fun.”

They obediently lift their head so she can tie it properly, and gods this is just another level of vulnerability and trust they are giving to her right now. How did they come so close?

“How do I look?” They ask, tilting their head left and right, and gods they look so wonderful right now. Their skin is still a bit flushed but their scars and her love marks are sprinkled across their body in such a pleasing way, and the way their cheeks are red underneath the cloth of the blindfold is just perfect.

“No one compares to you,” she says in a low tone, “you are so beautiful, so ravishing right now. This sight is for my eyes alone.”

Their cheeks darken further, their body shifting in their bonds but only a bit.

“I can be like this whenever you want, then, if you want to keep seeing it,” Weiren offers, and  _ gods  _ how do they do this? Saying all the right words, all the ones that please her so much?

“I’m certain we will be revisiting this in the future,” she says as she begins to disrobe, now ready to take her time and just let their desire build and build. Does she want to just make them come relentlessly, over and over with no respite? Or does she want to drag each one out, making them more intense by holding them back until she deems it time?

Perhaps she will spend hours, many hours, doing both. Gods know Weiren deserves to experience pleasure for a long time, especially after being deprived of it for most of their life, and after how they tended to her after the bath. That is something she will make up for with much eagerness.

“Good to hear,” Weiren says, “I love doing this with you.”

She loves doing this with them, too.

“Wonderful,” she returns as she rests a hand on their shin. How should she start? She will tend to lots of their body, giving attention to all of them. Climbing onto the bed she runs her hands up their legs, trailing her fingernails gently across their skin. For now she bypasses their core and just glides all the way up to their neck and arms, because she wants to give them a few more marks. She swings a leg over to straddle their hips so she can lean over them properly, and with a palm she braces herself so she can give them a mark on their chest. With her free hand she simply lets it drift, stroking their arm languidly.

It’s a very familiar process, the way she touches them, taking care of them in every way she can, letting them lie there and rest and just languish in her caresses. One by one she adds more marks, sucking at their skin across their torso and legs, dancing dangerously close to their core, but she does not touch there, not yet. She has already given them a release and now she must properly work up their arousal to make the next ones more intense. The minutes pass easily as she takes her time, and she can see the way Weiren’s restlessness grows, the way their breaths grow shallower. She gives them a kiss on the cheek and their face turns to let their lips meet but she withdraws and instead pushes her thumb into their mouth, delighting in  _ that  _ sight. She keeps it there as she continues to touch, giving their lips something to hold as she works them up further.

“I wonder how you may feel about being tied down even further,” she muses aloud, “Perhaps next time I’ll make it so you can't even move an inch.” Weiren lets out a shuddering gasp at that, her thumb slipping further inside.

They say a few words but it’s altered by the thumb so instead they just nod, their cheeks darkening.

So good, so perfect.

“Next time, then. Tonight, though, I wonder if I can fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk?” She lets her free hand drift lower, but still not where they want, and their hips shift up just a bit as a low sound escapes their mouth, their proper words still obstructed by her thumb. “I can give you so many releases that you’ll be unable to think of the pleasure I give you for a long time.”

Another moan, another nod, Weiren so clearly desiring of her touch.

“I am very excited, after all,” Vicouryn muses, letting her fingers dance just beneath their hips, “you’ve made another space for me to claim, another place for me to take.” Her index finger trails down the outside of their still-wet folds, gliding so easily through the wetness of their prior and still mounting arousal. “Another hole for me to  _ fuck _ .”

Weiren’s body stiffens as they let out another soft moan.

“Your body is mine, of course. Therefore, this is mine, too, and I intend to take all of it to make sure,” she murmurs, and her finger dips inside just a bit, only a little. “All of your body is under  _ my  _ name.”

They’re nodding again and their hips are barely restrained from trying to push back against her. Her hand leaves their mouth and presses down on their pelvis, holding them down.

“Keep still,” she says, putting more command in her voice, lacing her influence into the words, “You will only move when I deem that you are allowed to.”

“O-okay,” Weiren whispers, their fingers clenching in their fists as their body relaxes, due to both their efforts and her magic. A few moments pass as their form finds stillness save for the rise and fall of their chest.

“How obedient,” the queen muses, pleased with this, “good.”

“For you,” they return hotly, their cheeks so red against the black silk of the blindfold.

“Yes,” she says, “obeying  _ only  _ me. You will never do this for anyone else, not while you are mine, not while you love me so. I very much enjoy your obedience.”

“I’m… glad that you like it,” they say, a small smile on their face even if they can’t look at her properly. “I- ah! I don’t plan on stopping being yours anytime soon. I’m all yours, all of me, anything you want.” She grazes their clitoris while they speak, drawing their gasp as she does so, and she smiles at their words.

Those thoughts of draining them to immobility seem so silly now, because they are so full of love and desire for her alone that she thinks it is impossible they will leave her. They are so reluctant to get close to people and she gives them  _ exactly  _ the domination they want, so why would they ever leave? They’ve never felt this much pleasure in their life, surely. She is already so much to them.

“Anything I want? I  _ want  _ you to never stop having those  _ feelings  _ of yours,” she says darkly, “Look only at me with that love.”

“H- ah,  _ that’s,  _ that’s already done,” they gasp as she trails patient circles around them. “You're the only one.”

“I want you to  _ tell  _ me those feelings every night.” Vicouryn gazes fondly down at their face as they try to hold back their pleasured writhing, although she is pretty sure they already do this, multiple times a day.

She never tires of hearing those words.

“I love you,” they breathe, “so much, and I’m so gratef-  _ hng _ \- so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, and you’re the most amazing- ah- the most amazing person I’ve ever  _ met _ ! I’ve never been so happy to be around someone else; you make me so  _ happy _ .”

_ I wonder what you would think if I said that I loved you too? _

The paladin’s words are interspersed with moans as she touches them, not venturing inside, not yet, of course not. She must build their need higher still.

“Good,” she returns, so deliciously pleased with this sentiment. There is no need to spin them further into her grasp because they already want to be here of their own volition. Those words warm her body and the fluttering in her chest grows but now in a more sure way. “I like you quite a lot, as well. You are so  _ kind _ and gentle and with a delightful humor; I find myself enjoying your company very much.” There’s a brief pause, and then, “That is rare for me.” Surely they must know they are quite special to have their favor.

Somehow Weiren’s blush darkens further and she actually can feel their arousal increase as she speaks, her words only serving to excite them further.

“I’m glad,” they say with a big smile, affection clear in their voice, “I’m glad.”

“Hmm,” she hums, “what else do I want? I want to fuck you more often, yes. I want to take your body every night, whether it be with my lips or hands or with penetration, whenever I desire.”

“ _ Yes _ ,” They affirm, voice strained with their want, “Whenever you want, as much as you want, I appreciate it so much, I love when you touch me,  _ please _ .”

Vicouryn laughs in a low tone, her glee growing even more. Of course she will need to reaffirm this all when they’ve recovered from the minor blood loss and are in their usual mind, but knowing that they’re saying these things is very good indeed.

“Though of course I would rather you stay here… I  _ do  _ want you to write letters whenever you depart,” she admits, “If you are gone for long, perhaps send some during your trip along with what you leave behind.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Weiren nods vigorously, “I will! Gods- ah-, if only Lynne was  _ here _ , she could let us, hng, speak over distance.”

For a moment she’s confused when Weiren brings up the name of another person, and then she understands. A spellcaster like Lynne… perhaps she has magical communication.

What if she obtained some items for this purpose for Weiren and herself?

She must keep this idea in mind for later. Now that the war is over, there are wizards studying Arkova’s ships and their ability to communicate.

“Letters will suffice for now,” she says, “but that would be useful. Do you truly desire to hear from me that much?”

“Gods, yes, haa-” Weiren returns as she slides her finger inside them, so deliberately slowly, “I always want to hear you.”

“Wonderful,” she says, smirking even if they can’t see it. She’s so pleased with everything they're saying that perhaps it is time to continue forward and prepare them properly so that she may fuck them until being fucked by her is the only thing they can think about. A fun reward, in her opinion.

Adding the second finger is very easy, because she already got them this ready when outside, for their first climax, and she pistons that pair of fingers in and out so languidly, Weiren’s breath getting shallower again as she does so. She is quite pleased that they’ve gotten so wet from their natural arousal alone, meaning she really worked them up very effectively. Yet another reminder of how she affects this delightful elf of hers.

“You must love having me touch you like this, touching your most intimate places,” she muses, using her free hand to brush some hair from their face, wanting to hear their desire even more as she crooks the fingers inside them, and a strained moan falls from their lips. “Though as we’ve established, those places  _ are  _ mine, now. I am the only one to touch them.”

“Y-yes,” they answer, trying so desperately to remain still despite their rising restlessness, and it’s such a wonderful look for them, “only you.”

“I will do so for a long time, tonight,” she says, leisurely stretching them with care as they tremble, “For hours, you will be tied down, and I will continue to touch you, to fuck you, and you will endure the pleasure until I deem it is time to stop.”

Weiren lets out another breath, her words having such a clear effect on them, and then she’s adding a third finger, pressing into that wet warmth as they cry out. There is not much resistance but there is a bit, and Vicouryn clicks her tongue before retrieving the lubrication. She has patience, and so she will take as long as necessary, and though they are already so wet, more lubrication cannot hurt. She wants them to feel  _ good _ .

“S-sounds good,” the paladin says, trying to control their breathing, “Sounds like… lots… of fun.”

“I may reclaim your  _ other  _ space, as well, and take you in both ways, perhaps,” she continues, “but I will finish the preparation here, first.”

“Oh, gods,” they say, biting their lip as their brows draw together.

“Yes,” she says with a smile, “Many things will be done to you, and you will feel so much pleasure, pleasure that  _ I _ give to you. Enjoy it.”

She is glad that they have these parts, for it means it will be easier to control their climaxes, by leaving that precious nub of nerves untouched while she reaches inside of them, building their pleasure but not releasing it. 

“I will,” Weiren says, gasping, “Gods, thank you.”

They  _ thank  _ her for taking their blood and tying them down and telling them she will fuck them through the night. They  _ thank _ her for her control and domination and teasing touch. 

“For what?” She asks. “For what are you thankful? Tell me exactly.”

Weiren presses their lips together.

“Thank you… for… touching me,” they say, words unsure if that is the correct response. It is adequate, so she accepts that answer.

“Yes, you are welcome,” she returns, and then keeping those three fingers moving in and out of them, she leans over to take their lips, to kiss them to breathlessness while she’s thrusting those digits. They have trouble reciprocating but they try their best, though it is clear they’re distracted by the stimulation at their core. It doesn’t matter to her, because she loves to just overwhelm them and swallow down their moans and cries as she pleasures them so relentlessly, and she’s put them in this wanton state and kept them there for so long already, and they will be staying there for much, much longer. Even if they climax again, she will drag them to the precipice of another and keep them dancing on that line until it is time for them to fall. Completely at the mercy of her touch, she controls them perfectly, and they will never want for the touch of someone other than her. 

Perhaps after an hour she may swap tactics to instead just pulling as many climaxes from them as possible, forcing those sweet cries from their throat as she touches them so masterfully, stimulating them more than they ever thought was possible. If she could duplicate herself she would fuck them every way possible at once, consuming them with pleasure and control.

Hmm… there are some magics that could perhaps help her with this. Maybe unable to make another self, but there are illusions that can feel real.

She is thinking too far ahead; she will store those thoughts for another time. She has so much time with them now, and she will be fucking them over and over in the future, and so there will be many opportunities to try out new things.

Vicouryn controls the kiss as always, counting down and watching their reactions to see when their breath is low, and she just loves when they’re gasping against her lips like this. When it is time to give them respite she pulls away, sliding her fingers from their warmth as they suck in air, recovering from the kiss.

She wants to fuck them, now. Fuck them until they’re unable to string together any words, until they’re only able to moan and clench around her as she claims them so deeply, until she is the only thing in their head.

They are  _ hers  _ and she intends to show them just how far that goes.

Vicouryn equips the harness and slicks the length hanging from it, smiling deviously down at the nude Weiren, the paladin with bonds on their wrists and ankles and a blindfold covering their eyes. She could do  _ anything  _ to them and they would love her for it. They would be unable to resist her, but they would never want to do that, because they want everything she does to them. She tucks her knees underneath their legs so she can get close and lines that length up with their entrance.

“Prepare yourself,” she warns, gently touching the tip to their exterior, and Weiren’s nodding, their hands curled into fists as they breathe hard.

Slowly and surely she enters them, watching their reactions eagerly and giving them plenty of time to adjust.

“Relax,” she murmurs, tracing gentle paths down their chest with her hands, “relax.”

Obediently their body loosens, tension leaving their muscles as she enters them fully, her hips right against theirs.

She stays there, unmoving, both giving them more time to get accommodated to this and making them wait for the pleasure.

“Gods,” they finally say, exhaling deeply.

“Good?” She asks, setting her hands on their sides and leaning over them just a bit, and they nod.

“Yes, gods, oh gods.” They’re so clearly aroused, their mind clouded with desire, and that is so wonderful for her to see and hear. Imagine if she could have them set up like this in her study while she worked? “Thank you.”

“Good.” She runs those hands up to their arms, stroking their sensitive skin but not moving otherwise. She wonders if Weiren will be impatient enough to ask her to start moving, so she takes her time to kiss at their neck and chest, seeing just how long is too long for them.

“W-when are you going to- uh, move?” They ask in a small voice after some minutes, and she chuckles.

“When you ask for it,” she returns, “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

She loves her control but she loves making them say their words just as much. 

“Oh,” they sigh, and then with a darkening of their cheeks, “Please… keep going?”

“You need to be more specific,” she says, amused, “I need to hear  _ exactly  _ what you mean or else I won’t know what you want.”

Obviously she knows what they want but making them ask for it fills her with so much glee.

“ _ Vicouryn _ , gods,” they say, tensing as she shifts her weight.

“Yes?” She returns innocently, still unmoving.

“ _ Please _ ,” they gasp, so clearly worked up, “please… please f- _ fuck  _ me.”

Yes, that is the word she is looking for.

“Hmm, are you sure?” Vicouryn pulls back and then sinks inside again, slowly, as if testing out their suggestion.

“Oh gods, please, yes,  _ Vicouryn _ !” They try, more desperate this time, so pent up and probably very close to a release. They’re shaking and sweating and so flushed from head to toe, so worked up and unable to do anything about it themself.

“Alright,” she says, “was that so hard?” She asks, teasing, and then she falls into a rhythm. Weiren is unable to reply, losing themself to her thrusts, moaning as she takes them, and it’s  _ beautiful _ .

They’re too full of lust to respond but she continues to talk as she fucks them, with a slow pace at first and then gradually speeding up. Even if they can’t say much back she wants them to hear her words.

“You’re perfect,” she says, “so wonderful, so beautiful. I would have no one other than you underneath me like this.”

It’s true, she thinks, they are so special to her, so valuable, she might even love them but she can't say for sure, all she knows is that she wants them here with her, and she wants to make them feel ecstasy under her control. It’s what they deserve for being so good to her, so  _ wonderfully _ good.

She leans forward and wraps her arms around them as she fucks them, so glad, so fortunate to have them, because no one is as perfect as they are, and then she claims their lips hungrily as she snaps her hips forward, picking up speed, knowing she has all night to just do this to them over and over. The vampiric speed slips in and the fucking gets rougher, their hips colliding against one another as they gasp and moan, but she knows the probability is that they won’t come from just this, not without clitoral stimulation, but it also means she can just do this for even longer, keeping them worked up and building up that pleasure until she perhaps slips out and touches them with her hand or mouth.

Even if they won’t climax from just this, it is so clear that they’re enjoying it, their sounds spilling from them easily and loosely, and she is glad they enjoy this penetration because she loves to do it to them. She loves it so much because all of their reactions stem from her entering them, all of  _ them  _ is from  _ her _ and she will do this for them for eternity, claiming their interior because that place is for her alone, it is all hers and no one else’s, not even theirs because they gave it to her, too, and so it is  _ hers _ . 

But perhaps what she should do next time is use another toy, one that includes a piece specifically to touch the clitoris, and then it will be more likely that they’ll come from this, and she will fuck this hole of theirs until they come from it alone.

Oh, their moans are so delightful, but perhaps they deserve another climax now, and she pulls from them and lifts their hips, shifting herself forward so the backs of their thighs are braced against her torso, the loose bindings pulling taut as she throws their legs over her shoulders and puts them in this new position. Her head is between their thighs and she can look down past their core, down their stomach and chest where their head and upper back are still braced against the bed, where their lips are open from their moans, and she devours them and this sight eagerly. 

Weiren lets out another gasp at this, her cold tongue coming against them and she licks up, flicking against that bundle of nerves and they cry out, their body tensing with that pleasure; they must be so sensitive now. Vicouryn runs that tongue up and down them, reaching inside and sliding along their warm folds, they are so hot against her and she delights in pleasuring them like they did her. Even like this she can put some of that supernatural speed to use, licking faster as their legs tense against her. She lets her hands grip those thighs firmly, pulling them against her with her iron grasp and she does not stop her motions until Weiren shakes violently, their limbs spasming as they moan, their body and mind overtaken by such an intense orgasm that they fall completely limp in her grasp.

But that was only the second one, and she will give them more, and it is only a few seconds before she dives back in, somehow her own patience fraying because the idea of making them come over and over is more appealing. Tormenting them with relentless climaxes rather than with pent up unreleased pleasure sounds so delicious right now, and she reaches her tongue back inside them, tasting them intimately, and they gasp. She’s almost expecting them to tell her to stop, to wait, but they don't say anything and just take it, their flushed cheeks darkening as they heave their breaths, so clearly overwhelmed but she  _ knows  _ she can take it farther. She does let their clitoris have respite, because she knows too much too consistently can turn to numbness or pain, and she slows her pace, but she does not stop stroking them. She finds every single way her tongue can drag across them and uses them all, tracing patterns and paths all around them and their interior, tasting all of them, all of her claim.

Vicouryn easily builds them to another climax, and then another, and then another, and then she decides she wants to fuck them again, and they simply take what she gives for however long it lasts. She fucks them slow and then fast, with both hand and length, and then she tastes them again, and she can see how tired they become but they tell her to keep going for however long she wants, so she continues, so happy to do this to them, for them, as they become lost in endless pleasure, and all the while she knows this is still just the beginning of their nights of intimacy. She wonders how they feel, unable to see or move but being touched so constantly for so long. She hopes they are in bliss, eternal bliss.

At least another hour passes, perhaps even two, leaving Weiren reduced to practically nothing, just a mewling mess of sensation. They’re a ball of nerves that Vicouryn knows exactly how to stimulate, knows all of the right buttons to make them sing underneath her, and she plays them for a long time.

Finally, when it's all over, Weiren is clearly about to fall asleep, but she carries them to the washroom and she tends to them so gently with damp cloths, wiping away sweat and arousal for the both of them. After she has adequately cleaned them up she brings them back to the bed and pulls the comforter back so they can get under. They lie there, quite literally fucked to sheer exhaustion but in a way where they’re smiling loosely and blissfully, warm and happy, and she knows it was worth it to spend so much time for them. She is tired, but not nearly as much as they are for her vampiric stamina means she has far more energy than they do, and she gathers the paladin in her arms and whispers soothingly to them as they drift off, content to be against her. It’s a peaceful feeling, one she only experiences when Weiren is with her, that settles into her body as she strokes their side lovingly.

“Love you,” they murmur softly, barely audible, but she hears it. She hears it like she feels their soft locks under her hands, like she feels the burning heat of their living body, like the pressure of their form against her.

_ You too _ , she imagines saying,  _ I love you too, maybe _ .

“Thank you,” she whispers back, and she holds them close to her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those who didnt see in the beginning notes:  
> for the forseeable future i will be reverting back to updating ONCE per week (Fridays) since these chapters are taking longer to write and i wanna do em well. i still have the next 2 finished but i wanna do more on the rest of em while i figure out the deets of whats going on  
> anyway thanks for reading! if ya liked it pls leave a comment bc they make me cry of joy T_T


	7. Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicouryn has too much to think about, and she distracts herself with Weiren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER TAGS: rough sex, pegging, light bondage, hair pulling, oral sex, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, also emotions and feelings Lol
> 
> i have a twitter for weicouryn art @lemonweiwen  
> [twitter link](https://twitter.com/lemonweiwen)
> 
> and also a playlist following this story:  
> [playlist link](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3opDD1WqxJJ5XLAFGSaHpm?si=k3bdoHCzSay_MLs0Np7GCg)

Winter turns to spring rather quickly, and Weiren has planted the moonflowers dutifully with the assistance of the manor gardener, though they say that they will not bloom for a long time. The days turn to weeks, with Weiren and Vicouryn spending their nights wrapped in each other. The schedule is consistent, and she is content with this, and she hopes they are, too. She still runs her kingdom as she did before, handling paperwork and meetings and organizing her people and nobles, but beyond that she has respite to look forward to when midnight hits. Respite where she is with a particular elf paladin who loves her wholeheartedly and tells her so everyday. Sometimes they simply sit by one another, sometimes they kiss and touch, sometimes even more, but no matter what they are doing she finds she is just content to be near them. She is content to rest with them, read with them, talk with them, anything with them. 

She might be in love with them, but it is unconfirmed, and she lets those words sit inside, not wanting to speak them aloud, not daring, because what would be the point if she doesn’t even know for sure? They already know she values them quite a lot, anyway.

Admitting that she’s fallen in love is too much.

Weiren likes to talk to her, telling her about the books they read and the songs they play. Sometimes they confide about their troubles and seek her comfort, and she always gives it to them in the form of an embrace and soothing words. Vicouryn imagines confiding in them, telling them about her worries for Mevaden, for her and for them, but she never does, because she would never want to put those on them, because they have been through so much, and they should never have to bear the burdens of a queen like her; she can _handle_ it herself. She _does not_ confide.

It doesn’t stop her from sometimes thinking about it, though.

Thinking about getting closer like that, by opening up to them in an unfamiliar way, by returning their words of love… she can’t. That’s not something she does. She is so close with them physically but she still has a few walls up, to protect herself and them. No one is supposed to breach those barriers, and the thought of anyone finding a way past is terrifying. The closest was when she became delirious from the heat of a bath, and she was lucky that it wasn’t as disastrous as it could have been, but it was horrible, _she_ was horrible, and Weiren didn’t deserve to see that. It only ended so well out of the goodness of Weiren’s heart; surely if she shows weakness like that again, their admiration of her will dissipate. She is supposed to be the one to take care of them, not the other way around.

She distracts herself from those thoughts with intimacy, finding their taste on her lips to be something much better to think about. Every so often she drains them, every so often she takes and controls them, every so often they pleasure one another. By now Weiren is more used to sex, an activity in which the two engage quite often though it is changed up everytime. Sometimes they are tied down, sometimes they have different parts, sometimes she fucks them, sometimes she rides them, sometimes they pleasure her with their mouth and vice versa. Sometimes she drains them to the point of mild dizziness. Sometimes it doesn’t even go that far, and sometimes they are content to just kiss and hold one another. If she is being honest she feels strange when it doesn’t escalate all the way to intercourse or to a climax for them, because it is a clear goal for her to reach, and it feels more ambiguous without that goal. 

Somehow she has to remind herself that Weiren just likes to be near her, that they aren’t seeking her touch alone.

That sometimes Weiren just wants to sit next to her and relax in her company and tell her that they love her. They don’t go to her with the intent of finding a climax, they go to her simply because they like to be near her.

But giving them pleasure… it’s just one of the best ways she has of showing them how much she values them. It is really the only thing from a relationship she can do for them. She can’t tell them she loves them back, she can’t go out on dates, she can’t cherish them openly, she can’t do any of that but she _can_ shower them with pleasure and indulge in their desires. They are less inclined to her spending any more money on them; she already has given them a new wardrobe and has them served fine meals, and she does not know what else to do for them. Sometimes they go on secret walks at night, always in her manor gardens, but it must be a sad substitution for a _date_ and she knows it surely must not be enough for them. Her time is taken up with being a queen, and there is not much else she can do for them.

She wishes she could do more for them. What is the point of opening up and telling them she might love them if she can’t give them a proper relationship, a proper love that would truly satisfy them? She is lucky that they like her physical touch so much; it feels like it is the only thing she can offer of value to them.

Weiren never expresses any dissatisfaction with the arrangement though, which is still unfathomable to her. She is sure they must secretly want a different relationship, a real and proper one. She accepts that they love her and what she does for them and that they want to stay with her, but she knows she could do better if not for being chained down in her own way by her status. She would make her love perfect and flawless before she gave it to them if she could. She cannot give them something flawed like her uncertain, incomplete and lackluster ‘love.’ Compared to their love, that radiant beacon of warmth and goodness, whatever the hell she is feeling is cold and weak and _flawed_. They deserve nothing less than perfection, but she cannot give them that, and so there is nothing more she can do for them. Mevaden must come first, for her father and her family’s legacy.

But un-fucking-fortunately, both them and Mevaden are in a situation.

Yesterday Weiren informed her they were planning on heading out, now that spring is here and travel is easier in this weather, for a few _months_ . Days would be tolerable as they’ve gone out on short trips like that already, but they said _months_ , for they would be training apparently with some druids they met during their journeys. They did tell her this a couple weeks in advance, but knowing that they’ll be departing within the month looms over her like a thick cloud. 

Not only that, but for the past week, her court has been full of _talk_.

It is not the first time the nobles have discussed Mevaden’s evolution as a kingdom, of progressing past the need for a monarchy. Now that the war is over, those talks have resumed.

Of course, Vicouryn understands why this is happening, and she understands why there are issues with monarchies, and why the nobles want things to change. Logically, it all makes sense.

But Vicouryn was raised _specifically_ to carry on her family’s rule. All her years she trained to maintain their power and their kingdom, doing everything her father wanted so that she would be the perfect queen. Mevaden is _hers_ , and she is supposed to care for it, for that was all her father ever desired before the end of his reign. Mevaden is hers, and she does not trust the noble families to handle it in her stead. She is a powerful and dangerous queen and she has ruled Mevaden very well for these few years of her own reign. It has only been about four years since she took the throne; she is expected to rule for at least a decade more. Her father wanted her to rule for several. She’s supposed to rule until she has an heir of her own, and then they are to receive the torch and carry it on.

Mevaden is her entire purpose, everything she is, and now it seems it may be slipping from her grasp.

What will she be without Mevaden? She is nothing without it, nothing at all.

***

Working with these two unfortunate issues swirling in her thoughts puts her in a poor mood. Logically she knows that she will be able to handle Weiren’s absence; she was able to be apart from them for far longer already.

But she has become so used to their presence now. She expects to be with them every night if they did not already meet once or twice during the day. They’ve kept her spirits up during the slog of dealing with petty nobles.

She doesn’t want to admit it but she has come to rely on them quite a lot, which is unbefitting for a queen like her. She shouldn’t need to rely on anyone beside herself.

Is she relying on them or is she just being generous, because they are the one that wants to be beside her so much?

She scoffs. She is fooling no one; she enjoys their presence just as much as they do hers.

Nevertheless, she requests for Weiren to come to her study during a break, because surely that will put her in better spirits and make this work more bearable. 

She has plans, after all.

Vicouryn pulls open the drawer and glances down at the black treated leather inside and smirks.

Plans, indeed. She won’t need to think about these bad things if she can focus on dominating her paladin until they have trouble walking for the rest of the night. Perhaps she doesn’t have absolute control over what will become of the state of Mevaden, but what she can control is _them,_ and that is a wonderful reminder for her. Even if her kingdom slips from her grasp the one thing that won’t change is how she claims Weiren.

Until they leave her, of course.

She sits back in her chair, frowning at that thought. They may leave, but only for a time, and then they will return. They _must_ return to her, because they gave themself to her, they are _hers._ What will she do if they ever leave her for good?

The door creaks as it opens and Weiren enters, clad in a concealing coat over one of those wonderful dresses she’s had made for them. Their hair is drawn back in a low bun but almost immediately they pull it free for her as they step inside, because they know she likes it when their hair is down. Another one of the many considerate things they do for her.

_Ah, the one that I might foolishly love._

Yes, she is painfully aware of them and what she might feel, every single time she sees them. Her brain does not miss the chance to throw those thoughts in her face. It is thanks to her centuries of experience in controlling her expressions that she does not let it show.

“Hello, Vicouryn!” they greet cheerfully, removing the coat so she can see the way the dress bares their shoulders, though there are long sleeves that hang just beneath their deltoids. She likes this dress quite a lot, for there is a very open back that exposes so much of their skin, and the skirt has a split in both the back and front once you move apart the layers. It looks normal most of the time, but she knows exactly where she can simply pull the sides apart and access their body so intimately.

“Weiren,” she returns stoically, both happier to see them but it’s tainted with the reminder that they’ll be leaving in the future, “Come.”

The paladin makes their way over to her and she shifts her chair back to make space between her and the desk. They hang their coat and scarf on the back of one of the other chairs nearby.

“I am not in the best of moods,” she admits, “and I am in need of some… stress relief.”

“Oh, of course,” Weiren says, “do you want me to um, give you some pleasure?”

They do that for her quite frequently nowadays. They’ve become quite good at it over time, and the thought is enticing, but she would rather focus on what she does to them. Perhaps she’ll one day have them sit secretly underneath her desk, hands bound behind their back as they pleasure her with their mouth while she works.

“Not now,” she says, standing from the chair as they come close, and she rests a hand on her desk as she shoots them a dark look, “Bend over.”

She’s cleared it of her inks and parchments, so the surface is left perfectly clear for her to fuck them on it. What’s dangerous is that the desk is perfectly in view of the door, but she has made it clear to Nahlia that she is not to be disturbed by _anything._

“Sure.” Weiren nods, understanding and they give her a shy smile as they turn away from her and brace themself on the desk and lean forward. The muscles of their back shift as they do so, so very appealing, and she wants so badly to run her mouth all over them. The queen takes their scarf from the chair and hums assessingly.

“Put your hands behind your back. I will bind them,” she commands, something they are very used to, and with no objection they do exactly that. 

“Did anything happen, or is it just one of those days?” they ask as she wraps the cloth around their wrists. “Or if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, too.”

“I appreciate you asking, but I would like to focus on _fucking_ you. It’s a shame I haven’t taken you on this desk yet, so I must rectify that,” Vicouryn returns, despite feeling both warmth and indignation at their words. Glad that they feel concern for her, and also a little pissed off. It’s weird, emotions are stupid, which is why she ignores them.

“Oh, yea, I understand,” they say, nodding as best they can with their face pressed to the table, “That sounds nice.”

Sounds _nice_ . She laughs to herself. They are _so_ …. like that. They’re about to get fucked over a desk until they can’t even speak and they just say that sounds _nice_ . That’s how they’ve been about everything, honestly, so eager and open. The first time she talked of stress relief they were so happy to oblige her, happy to do whatever she wanted. _I’m yours, and my body is yours,_ they said, _you can do whatever you want to me whenever you want_ , and _I’ll enjoy it. I love everything you do to me_ . Turns out that along with normal touch deprivation they really _quite_ enjoy sex with her, happy to be fucked under her control every single day, happy to have Vicouryn be inside them as frequently as possible. Who could have known they would want to fuck so much? It is not just that they want to please her, she suspects, but that simply the act of sex is so wonderful to them, especially since they hadn't had any until coming to Mevaden to stay with her. Either way, it is beneficial for her, because _she_ quite enjoys sex and has been so deprived of it for so long, and so she is happy to indulge in her desires with them and make them happy as well.

“I will be forceful,” she warns, as she always does beforehand whenever she is in this mood.

“Sounds good to me,” Weiren says, sending her a little smile, “Go ahead, whatever you want.”

There we go, the proper consent. She is delighted to hear such a thing.

“I will,” she says, “you will be _helpless_ underneath me. Do _not_ move.” As she does every so often, she lets the influence out, threading her magical desire, letting them know how much she wants them to remain still, but not forcing them. Somehow Weiren relaxes as she does so, as if content to have that magic on them, that strange connection with her though they could break away from it at any time. 

“I won’t,” they affirm as she finds the split in their skirt and parts the fabric, pushing it to their sides and bunching it up to reveal their ass. She grabs the top hem of their undergarment and pulls it down, impatient, and she can see that today they have just one entrance.

Which is all well and good, because it means she can make them come from penetration alone once she finds that prostate inside them. She pauses, though, to take in this sight of Weiren like this, so deliciously submissive and bent over her desk. With her foot she nudges their legs further apart and then grips each side of their butt with firm hands, prompting a gasp and a twitch from the paladin. She takes the moment to knead their flesh aggressively, thumbs stretching out their hole just a bit, that hole that she intends to fill so completely, and they let out a soft moan.

Yes, they are ready for her to take them. 

She steps back and finds a cloth to lay on the ground under them, then hoists her own skirt up to properly equip the harness from her desk drawer, now with one of the larger lengths since Weiren has become more accustomed to this penetration with her. What can she say? She loves to fuck them, and she does it so frequently. 

Before she gets the lubricant she has a wonderful idea looking at their round ass, and she leans down to the side to sink her fangs right into that flesh, just at the bottom of their back, with no build up. She hasn’t bit here before, but she thinks it is a very good thing to do. If it aches when they sit or walk, they’ll remember her doing this to them.

Weiren tenses but doesn’t move otherwise, and she takes a small sip of blood. It is not the best location from which to take, so she does not take much, but she delights in knowing she’s left a mark there.

“That’s a fun place to bite,” they say, amused after she pulls back and wipes her mouth.

“Indeed,” she agrees, now drawing out the container of lubricant. She pours a bit onto them, letting it dribble across the crease of their ass and then coats her thumb in it and simply presses it inside, taking less care than usual. Since Weiren is more accustomed to it, though, she does not need to take the same amount of time and preparation. Their body _knows_ she is to occupy it at any time, and over the weeks she’s trained it to accept her penetration quite well. The paladin exhales, more adept at staying relaxed during this, and it is not too hard to push that thumb all the way inside and begin stretching them. 

She is rougher, this time, quickly speeding up to thrust that thumb in and out for a short while until she deems it is time to move on and swaps to a pair of fingers, reaching a bit deeper into her territory to brush against their prostate. Weiren lets out a few soft sighs and groans as she works them, but stays quiet otherwise, letting her do what she wants to them, which is exactly what they want, and it is only a short period of time before she’s at three fingers as they clench around her, getting used to the familiar size. Then, a fourth, since this _is_ a bit of a larger toy. She fucks them with those fingers fast and rough, forcing a few more sounds from them, and then she’s slicking the length she’s got ready and resting it between their cheeks, a nonverbal warning that she’s about to take them. 

But that isn’t all.

She reaches to gather their hair up in a loose ponytail and fits it into one of her hands and then pulls gently, forcing their head to lean back towards her, and with her other hand she lines herself up and begins to press in. 

“Oh, y-yes,” Weiren breathes, clearly pleased by the way she grips their hair in such a domineering fashion, and it makes her smirk even though they can't see it. So perfectly submissive.

Rough or not, she will always start the real penetration slowly, she will enter with care, but once she is inside she drops that concern. Vicouryn sheaths herself in one slow unyielding motion, both pushing inside and pulling them towards her as she fists their hair, and they let out a drawn out moan as her hips come toward them, their body quivering as they take this inside them fully, that slightly larger size that must be hitting them even deeper than usual. It is a size they have taken before, though, just not as much as the smaller ones.

They don’t have the power to adjust their hips to react to the intrusion; they are simply held completely in place, helpless to do anything but accept it as it stretches their interior, filling up their space entirely, relentlessly reaching into their body until finally her hips are flush against them. How deeply do they feel it inside them? They’re trembling, their body doing its best to relax though it must be difficult. She wishes she could feel how much they’re clenching down around her, but unfortunately she has no way of knowing.

“Gods,” they say in that brief moment of stillness, “haa-, so _full_ -” But that is all they have time to say before she begins to move, her free hand now finding purchase on their hips, fingers ready to dig in as she drags them on and off this length.

So perfectly in her grasp.

Not only will she fuck them roughly, but she will do it faster than any mortal can, channeling her vampiric speed. Not from the get go, and of course she will vary her speeds and angles, but she is excited to show them her power, show them how helpless they will be under her, as always. Mevaden may be falling out of her control but she can always, _always_ reaffirm her claim on them.

She starts at a decent pace, keeping her grip on their hair but not tugging too much until she picks up speed. She will not touch them in their front; she will simply hit that sweet spot inside of them until they come, but she will do it over and over again, fucking them through any releases until they find another, all throughout her break. Then she will lower their skirt and return their scarf and coat and they will simply have to make their way back to their chambers like that, with shaky legs and a sore ass. And, perhaps, something else.

Of course, she will take good care of them at night once she has finished her work.

But for now…

She pulls harder, forcing their back to arch towards her a bit, and they gasp as she snaps her hips particularly sharply, their bodies colliding with a sound. Her hand moves from their side to grip the scarf, and she pulls them to meet every one of her thrusts, impaling them so deeply with her force and momentum. The desk shakes with each motion, her paladin stuck between that solid wood and _her_ , the queen who owns them, their body, and their pleasure in so many ways. Weiren has no way to return the favor in this position, nothing to find any leverage not that they could use their hands to brace themself on it anyway. She quite likes that.

Then she pushes them back down so that they’re flush against the desk, holding them down with her vampiric strength as she continues to fuck them, pressing their face to the wood as they gasp and take her aggression. Here she increases her speed, her hips blurring as she takes them ruthlessly, her hands anchoring them down so there is nothing they can do in response, only simply accept her inside them. That’s exactly how helpless they enjoy being, she knows, as she claims their interior over and over as she has done so many times in the past. Eventually she will need to find some kind of enchanted toy, one that will allow her to properly fill them and paint their inside like they can for her part of the time. She wants to mark them from within and make them feel her even more intimately. If only she, too, had the blessing that they do, this would be easier, but unfortunately she has no such blessings, only the curse of rule and vampirism.

The only blessing she has is _them_ , and she will give them pleasure until they know nothing but the sensation of her touching them.

“I’m- _ah!_ ” Weiren cries out, their warning words interrupted as she stimulates them so quickly, quicker than anyone else can, and they’re shaking in her grasp but unable to move, their come spilling onto the covered ground as they tense, but she does not stop. Instead she grabs their hair again and returns to the slower but deeper intercourse, her body pushing them against the desk but her hands dragging them onto her length, reaching so far, and she’s thrusted into them several times before that orgasm ends.

“Keep your voice down,” she says, though they are never really too loud to really be noticed beyond the walls. They make some kind of noise in response, but they’re overwhelmed by her force and unable to form any proper words at the moment.

Now there is a refractory period, but she can take them all through that time. She narrows her eyes and pulls harder, until they’re arching against her, their bound hands trapped between their bodies as their head comes closer to her, their face tilted back as she pulls their hair to her chest. This way they’re almost standing, almost, but not quite. If she were to let go, they would fall back forward, but she will not do that. Even if she is acting aggressively she will always support them, she will never let them fall, only drag them closer to her and take good care of them.

Their eyes are shut and their mouth open, a blush on their cheeks as she controls them, and she simply continues the onslaught of thrusting, punctuating each one as powerfully as she can at the cost of speed, but this means they moan with every single one, the leather finding their sensitive prostate quite easily. This is a pleasant position because she can _see_ their face, their pleasured expression as she moves, enjoying every bit of what she does. She is so glad they like her like this along with her more gentle demeanor, that they like her in all of her versions. As always, they are perfect, and that is why she doesn’t want them to leave.

What is also delicious, though, with this pose, is that her grip on their hair puts their exposed skin so close to her face. This way the back of their head is tucked into her shoulder. She reaches an arm around their neck and grabs their jaw, keeping it tilted up and then bites into their flesh, prompting another hitched breath, and as she begins to _really_ drink their blood she resumes the fucking, though at a much slower pace, not wanting to hurt them by jostling their body while her fangs are in them. 

Several weeks ago she would have asked before biting, but along with so many other things, Weiren has given her permission to simply _act_ without asking before. Of course, anything _new_ or possibly uncomfortable requires her to ask, but nowadays she is free to just drain them at her pleasure; their blood is so much more potent now that they are less affected, and they enjoy the implications of her simply acting without requesting, the implication that she knows what they love, that she knows them so well and just knows what to do to them to make them happy. It’s that overwhelmingly deep sense of trust they have for her. 

And well, she being free to do whatever to them is just another indicator of her owning their body, which they somehow find so wonderful. Them and their body, all _hers._ Sure, she controls them in so many ways, but it is _only_ because they willingly give themself to her. It is not that she has taken their control herself, but that _they_ allow her to control them, to take care of them, because they want that from her, and it is so wonderful that she wants that from them, too.

Her hips roll leisurely and while her hand is near their face she pushes her clean fingers into their mouth, stifling their moans and now she’s inside them in three different ways. With that grasp on their face she tilts their head more to the side, giving her more space to properly drain them, and they’re trembling in her iron hold, soft sounds spilling from their mouth as she takes their vitality but gives them the pleasure and control they like so much. Even the bite is a source of pleasure for them, which is wonderful. This must be ecstasy for them.

When she’s had her fill she pulls her fangs free but keeps holding their body against her, keeps her fingers in their mouth and pauses her motions. A bit of blood trickles from the new wound, and she licks it up and takes a second to tend to it. Gods, it tastes so divine. _They_ are divine.

“Look at this,” she murmurs darkly, right against their ear, “Look at _you._ Look how much you’re at my mercy.”

She emphasizes this with a thrust, drawing a muffled moan that comes around her fingers.

“Look how much you _love_ having me inside of you.” Another thrust, another gasp. “Taking your mouth, taking you from the inside, draining you, _fucking_ you. You _love_ all of these things.”

Weiren can’t reply, but she knows their answer. They’ve clearly expressed their desires so many times in the past.

“No one else can give you this,” she muses, running her fingers along their tongue, “isn’t that right?”

As best they can, Weiren shakes their head, their blush so intense on their cheeks.

“Correct,” she says, “I am the only one who can do this for you, and you love it, you love _me_. You love to be controlled by me, dominated by me. You want to be at the mercy of my whims, unable to resist what I do.”

Vicouryn pulls her fingers from their mouth but continues to hold their jaw, forcing them to stay in this position, and they breathe, gasping wetly, their throat shifting under her hand.

“Yes,” they finally say, worn, “gods, yes. I love you, and everything you do to me.” They are so receptive to her dark words, gods, and she loves that.

“You want me to do _anything_ to you, at _any time,”_ she says next, lowering her tone and breathing against the side of their face. She loves to hear them reaffirm this. Those words from them during that second night of pleasure in Mevaden gave and continues to give her so much delight. Willingly putting themself under so much of her control.

“ _Yes_ ,” they answer in a strained voice, “Whatever you want, whenever you want.”

The queen presses a kiss to their flushed cheek. What a wonderful person they are. She is lucky to have them, and she will never take them for granted.

“So good,” she says, “you are perfect, and you are mine, and I will fuck you to the ends of this world.”

“ _Please,”_ Weiren says, so desperate for her to move again, so desperate for her to take them and fuck them as they always are whenever intimacy occurs. They are reluctant to initiate intimacy of this level, but whenever she suggests it or starts it, their desire builds so quickly.

She does what she wants to them, and not only does she control what happens, but they _plead_ for her to do it, wanting her so badly to touch them, and them wanting it so much makes it that much more wonderful. So symbiotic and wonderful. 

That doesn’t even include the non-sexual intimacy they share, those moments where they sit beside one another, where they share a sweet dessert, where they cheer her up simply by talking about whatever, where she cheers them up simply by being near them. She loves that, she loves _them_.

 _Fuck_.

Vicouryn pulls them from the desk and pushes them against the curtained window behind them, where she loops an arm under their leg and lifts it up and enters them again, no time for them to react, unable to do anything in return. Now their face and chest is pressed against the cloth and glass, their leg up in an obscene way, and she fucks them _hard_ , still with their arms tied behind them.

Did she really think that sentiment just now? Did her mind say she loves them? Without the maybes or the mights?

She increases her speed, frazzled by that thought and needing to not think about it, and that’s how the next few minutes go until Weiren is shaking fiercely again, their arousal staining the inside of their skirt as she thrusts into them throughout _that_ orgasm as she did the last, as she will do through the next, and the next, and however many they have before she must let them go. 

It’s after their fourth climax that she decides to take them up on their previous offer, but she has her _other_ idea she planned for. This harness is special, and as she holds them against the window she unbuckles the straps while the length is still inside them and turns it inside out, reaching around Weiren to rebuckle it around their waist. 

“What… are you doing?” they ask, voice a little ragged as she fastens the straps around each of their thighs, making sure their length is unobstructed by the harness. 

“You will keep this on,” she returns, “You will keep this inside you until later tonight, when I see you again.” The harness conforms to their shape easily, the leather flexible and wrapping around their pelvis. She tightens it, pushing that length deeper into them, and then pulls their undergarments back up over it all.

After the break there is only an hour before she is done with her work, so it won’t be for long. Longer than that might be too much for them, but this is a perfect amount of time.

“Oh, gods,” they say, surprised, “Okay. That’s interesting.”

She narrows her eyes.

“Weiren, if you are uncomfortable with that, then we don’t have to do it. There is no obligation,” she says carefully, supporting them as she lets them step back from the window. She loves enacting control and surprising them with her assertive ideas but she doesn’t want to step past their comfort.

“Oh, it’s fine,” they say, turning to face her, “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“This break is so close to midnight, so I thought it would be convenient that you would already be prepared for then,” she says deviously, and their blush darkens.

“That makes sense,” they say, laughing and a little embarrassed, “Yea, this should be fine.”

The last week has been full of rather gentle and sparse intimacy due to increased work, so in addition to needing stress relief and a distraction from illogical feelings she wants a much more intense session tonight.

And, well, the idea of Weiren having to walk down the hall and up the stairs while full to the brim is certainly a wonderful one. Controlled by her even when she is not physically present…

She thinks it should be surprising that they are totally fine with the idea, that anyone else would have more to say about it, but they are always so incredibly receptive to her desires. Something else she loves about them.

“We have a bit more time before this break is over. Come,” she commands. Her previous idea comes to mind, and she seats herself in her chair. Leaning down she grabs the cloth marked with Weiren’s come and puts it to the side, clearing that space on the floor for them before turning to gaze. “Kneel,” she says, gesturing in front of her, “I will accept your offer from before. You will pleasure me with your mouth before you leave.”

Vicouryn draws her undergarments off underneath her dress and watches the enticing sight of Weiren lowering themself to their knees in front of her, subservient and submissive. Their face is interesting to watch as they move, no doubt the toy inside of them is pressing against their interior as they kneel. But this way their form is obstructed by the desk, so if anyone does open the door they would be unable to see anything is amiss.

“I’d love to,” Weiren says with a smile as they get settled as best they can, though she can tell they feel quite prominently how they’re filled up, their mouth pressing in a line and their brows drawing together as they shift, but they don’t say anything about it. Instead, they watch eagerly as she pulls her dress to her waist and perches on the edge of her chair, spreading her legs enough for them. Another shift and she brings her core close to their face, and they do not need any prompting to simply lean forward and do exactly what they said they would.

Vicouryn sinks a bit into her chair as she rests her head on a languid hand, gazing down at this beautiful elf of hers as they run their lips along her thigh, starting this pleasure by starting far and working their way to her core. Without their hands they can’t stroke her as much as they might be able to otherwise, but they make do, pleased to be bound before her. Everytime they indulge in her desires or actively pleasure her like this, she thinks of her fortune in finding them, her fortune that they love her and that they want to please her. She wonders if they ever would have found someone if they never came this close to her. Everything she’s done to them has been their first; would anyone else have broken down _their_ walls and discovered their deprivation of touch like her?

Their entire relationship, their companionship with her stemmed from one fateful encounter. Had they not offered themself when she was weak, had she not desired their blood so much she would not have realized how they are similar to her in their solitude, and the two would never have created their “agreement” of mutual touch. It is all thanks to them and their kindness that she finds herself so much more… _happy_ these days. 

Doesn’t she love them if they make her feel that way?

Weiren’s reached her core by now and is tracing paths through her labia, and she controls her breaths as she watches them.

This past month she has been toying with the idea of love in her head, but never for too long for it irks her somehow, but _enough_ to make it a recurring and familiar thought. What would they expect if she told them she loves them? Would their expectations change, even if she could not change her behavior?

Her hand curls into a fist as a pressure builds inside her, Weiren now so much more skilled at this before. Is it love to appreciate that they’ve been learning how best to make her feel good? That they’ve been doing so many things to care for her and to please her?

She wonders what would happen. She suspects Weiren would be happy with her confession, but admitting something like that aloud is… unthinkable. It means admitting she cares more than she wants, it means they’ve come so close that they affect her dangerously, it means being _vulnerable_ and she hates that. 

She has fought vulnerability for so long, keeping up her walls and guard to protect herself. What would it mean to let them through? They would be nice and kind as always, but again they like her for her fearlessness, her stoic demeanor, her _power_ . What if they came close enough to see her when she is weak, even more than before? They already have seen more of her than most others, but _still_. There is no guarantee that they’ll like what they find beyond her barriers. Can she tell them she loves them and keep her walls up? That’s what she has been doing so far.

Vicouryn gasps as a spark of pleasure flares inside her.

Gods, but how cathartic would it be if she could let loose all her emotions and _say_ it? Those stupid thoughts have been dancing in her head for so long.

She shouldn’t say it to them, but what if she did? Would they not be ecstatic to know their love is reciprocated? Would they not be more likely to stay by her side knowing she loves them? _If_ she loves them, that is.

When they were there for her after the bath incident, they made her feel better so easily. They stayed with her and made her smile, made her _laugh._ She let loose some of her feelings and they took it in stride, so why would it be different if she became vulnerable now?

But the bath incident was an _incident._ It wasn’t supposed to happen. It was unforeseen. Actively choosing to show them herself in a more vulnerable state is something else entirely. 

_But_ it is not as if she is planning to cling to them and weep. If she is to discuss her issues with them it will be with a level head and a controlled demeanor.

Vicouryn leans her head back so she can obscure her face from Weiren’s view and stare up at the ceiling instead. Why do they wreak so much havoc in her brain? The fact that she is thinking so much and so hard on it is proof enough of dangerous affection, proof enough that she must harbor… _love._

She doesn’t want to be at the whims of emotion she cannot control but gods, they are so wonderful and beyond her denial she knows she’s falling victim to _feelings_. She just needs to figure out how to deal with it, find out how to not let them consume her.

Just this morning she was adamant she should say nothing, and now she’s considering otherwise, her opinion swapping with every day. Tell them, don’t tell them, tell them…

She isn’t afraid of rejection because they love her so much, but she is terrified of what may come as consequence. Of course they deserve to have someone love them back, but again she can’t do it properly, so does she even have the right to give them these feelings? Does _she_ deserve to be in a relationship like that with them?

Her hips shift as more pleasure flares again, Weiren grazing her clitoris with their hot tongue. A low breath escapes her and she closes her eyes.

What should she do?

It is such a simple decision, and yet she feels paralyzed by it, wanting so badly to let these roiling words slip but knowing she should not. Logically it isn’t smart; she needs to maintain at least a little distance, but the idea of holding them close and returning their love seems so warm and appealing and gods they would be so _happy_ she thinks, but if they come too close and see her for what she really is they may not like her anymore.

She should trust in their love for how steadfast it is, but still she worries. She can’t help it, and she has never worried so much about things before. What have they done to her?

Weiren presses forward, their nose coming against her as they reach their tongue into her, and she sucks in another breath, that fire they’ve lit growing stronger inside. They taste her so deeply and then they’re dragging that wet warmth up and down, stimulating her and she’s gripping the armrests as her thoughts fray, clouded by pleasure.

They love her so much, more than anyone else ever has, and their love is so bright and warm that she can’t help but be drawn to it, cold and dead and unfeeling as she is, and it’s burning down her barriers and there is nothing she can do about it. She should be furious, she should be _livid_ that their love is doing this to her, _ruining_ her and her sense of self and her centuries-long solitude and false independence, but she finds she doesn’t want to back away from their flame. It hurts and it destroys but at the same time it _gives_ and it _comforts_ and she has never felt this before. She foolishly basked in their generous warmth for too long and now she’s ensnared, addicted to them and their kindness. Their heat has given her a flicker of her own light, both physically and emotionally, and it’s grown despite her protests, despite her trying so desperately to keep that fire at bay. Somehow they’ve lit something inside that dark cave of herself and she’s been falling in love with them for longer than she knows, the embers growing to flames and then to a bonfire, illuminating her like never before. With their warmth she has felt more alive, more joy, more _everything_ , and it’s no wonder they have come this close with that unyielding burning of love.

It hurts, but in a way that feels cathartic, and gods there are so many words that want to spill from her mouth, words of love, of pain, of worry. She has never wanted to say these things to anyone before but they are always so considerate and gentle, and even if she is still so fearful of letting her feelings free she knows they will welcome them with care. They are so wonderful and perfect and deserving of someone better than her and yet among all the people in this plane, they crossed into a world of shadow and darkness to find _her_. They saw her power and cruelty and control and reached a gentle hand towards her to offer their blood and warmth and love, and she feels so overwhelmingly fortunate and lucky but at the same time undeserving and unworthy. 

Gods, she loves them, doesn’t she? She loves them, and it’s so much, it’s too much, and she doesn't know what to do.

A few more motions of Weiren’s tongue and there’s sensation sparking in her body, a pleasure racing through her limbs, radiating out from her center to the tips of her fingers, that physical release colliding and then combining with her climactic thoughts, and she’s briefly overwhelmed by it all. An elf paladin from an entirely different world makes her feel like this, and she knows that she’s fallen so completely for them, more than she thought possible, and in a way she supposes it is a relief to know her unbeating heart has the capacity to feel like this.

When she returns from the high of that climax, Weiren is still stimulating her because that’s what they learned from her and she sighs, gazing down at them fondly, and perhaps she can allow them to pleasure her further because she gave them so many climaxes already. They are content to just kneel there and tend to her, stoking another fire, giving her more pleasure, so selfless and giving, and perhaps she should just continue basking in that kindness.

She should continue to bask, because she has already fallen in love.

***

Vicouryn walks down the hall silently, staring at the carpet beneath her feet.

So she loves them, apparently.

Weiren returned to their room while she finished up the last of her work, and now she’s heading up to join them as well. The hour passed in a very weird way, Vicouryn pondering this revelation she’s had as she fiddles with a quill in her hands.

Somehow things turned out this way, but in hindsight what other outcome would there even be? What other outcome could there be for her and them, both of whom are so deprived of touch and love, after engaging in intimacy like this, nonsexual and sexual alike? What other outcome could there be for her, allowing Weiren’s love into her manor, into her life? She let them come so dangerously close, and now she has fallen in love.

But she can’t commit to that love, not yet. She can’t say it aloud. She is not yet good enough for them, and she wants to become better for them, because they deserve nothing but perfection for being so perfect themself.

She opens the door and enters to see Weiren reclining on the chaise lounge with a book. They’ve lit the fireplace, and there’s a warm orange glow lighting up their side, the room fading into darkness beyond. They’re still wearing the same dress, and they’ve brushed out their hair, and they look as if nothing had even happened to them, as if she hadn’t tied their hands and bent them against the desk and fucked them through four climaxes.

“Weiren,” she says, and she’s taken aback because her voice has the slightest waver, which is frightening, “how are you?” She schools her tone for that question, and it comes out sounding normal, thank the gods. She shuts the door behind her and steps towards them, lips pressed together. 

There’s a strange mix of nervousness, resignation, and peace inside of her chest when she sees them, because even if she loves them so, somehow their presence is always a calming one. It’s weird, and she sighs softly as she approaches.

“Good,” they return with a smile, setting the book down, “what about you? How was the rest of the work?” They extend their arms out towards her, an invitation to lay beside them.

“Fine.” She sits down, gingerly, and then lies across their body, accepting their embrace and tucking her face into the crook of their shoulder, obscuring it from their view as warm arms come around her. Them holding her has occurred more often over time, and though it feels out of character she can’t deny how wonderful the sensation is. It feels weird, but it also feels so nice, and they are so happy to hold her, so she allows it. She stays there, tied so intimately with them. She can feel Weiren’s chest shift as they sigh happily and contentedly, their arms squeezing her so gently.

Now she’s put herself close, and she's adequately hidden her face for when she says dangerous and embarrassing things. She feels defensive but she wants to fight it, she wants to _try_ . She wants to try confiding in them of her own volition, because beyond her worries she _knows_ they will react with love and warmth. It can’t hurt, but making herself vulnerable like this is so, so hard.

How does she even start confiding in them? How does that conversation even start? If she is planning to love them properly in the future, however distant it is, she has to prove to herself that she can have these kinds of conversations with them. Oh, but should she really do this? Now that she’s here with them again it seems more daunting than before. Weiren doesn’t want to hear about these things, do they?

A warm touch strokes down her hair in this brief silence, Vicouryn not knowing how to approach this strange conversation she feels she needs to have but also doesn’t want to have.

“Oh, uh, before I forget, there’s a strawberry shortcake for you, by the way,” Weiren says, breaking the silence.

Vicouryn pulls back, not expecting those words, and she follows their gesture to see a covered dish on the table beside them.

“Where did this come from?” She asks, sitting back to uncover the dish and reveal exactly what Weiren described: a slice of white cake with a strawberry adorning it.

“Oh, Marion had extra after serving dinner,” they answer. That makes sense, she supposes. The cook often makes quite a lot for the castle staff that stays overnight.

But… she laughs softly. She just accepted the fact she loves them and then yet here they are, performing another small bit of kindness that lifts her heart almost effortlessly. Their love for her is so amazingly gentle and sweet, and _gods_ … gods she is already falling even harder.

“Thank you,” she says, taking the dish and fork in hand.

“Of course! I know it’s one of your favorites,” Weiren returns, prompting a slight heat to her face as she takes a bite. Vicouryn chooses not to reply to that in particular though it makes her happy, and there's a moment of calm as she eats this silly little cake while Weiren fills the silence with mundane talk. Some minutes later, the dish is returned to the table, and her paladin beckons for her to return to their arms, wanting to be against her. She obliges that, wanting to be in their arms just as much, and the two settle back into their previous positions.

There’s a bit of a peaceful quiet for a few minutes as they relax, but then Weiren’s hands pause briefly in their motions to stroke her hair.

“Hey,” they say softly, “If there’s anything worrying you, anything you want to talk about, I’m here. Only if you want to, though.”

Oh, thank gods, she thinks, and also _fuck_. It’s easier if they start it but she actually is terrified, now. She’s never confided in anyone besides her father, and Nahlia if the worry is related to her queendom so that she may hear her input on how to proceed, and even so it was still very infrequent. Weiren is so much more perceptive than others give them credit for, so much more insightful, and them beginning this conversation is helpful but also...

Fingers find a loose lock of black hair and tuck it behind her ear, sending shivers down her back.

“It’s been really helpful for me to talk to you about my own things,” they say, “and I’d want to do the same for you if you’re having any issues. I don’t want to pry if you really don’t want me to know, but it really does help to just talk about it with someone.”

Gods, she loves them. That kindness is unparalleled, and she is so undeserving.

_Well, Weiren, believe it or not it looks like I love you too. Isn’t that interesting?_

_Hmm, Weiren, did you know that your love isn’t unrequited? Yes, it actually goes both ways, who could have known? Also, you should stay in the manor for the rest of your life._

_So, perhaps I do benefit from your love with all the touching and fucking, but it turns it out I also actually love you. Yes, romantically. Accept my love; you are still mine. Just more than before, I suppose._

_Please don’t leave. I’m about to lose Mevaden, I can’t lose you too._

Perhaps that conversation is not one to be had for now. She needs time to figure out whatever the hell kind of talk that will be. She needs time to prepare, to find a suitable location, to find suitable gifts.

Vicouryn turns her head to press even more against their neck, putting her face to their skin, feeling that warmth on her forehead.

“Yes,” she finally says, “I am… figuring out the best way to say it.” 

She hates sounding so uncertain like this, hates being the one to seek aid from someone else, but she wants so badly to have Weiren’s soft words and touch to maybe help her deal with her stupid brain. The only one who can deal with her Weiren-specific thoughts is them, she thinks. Maybe there’s something they will say to alleviate her worries.

More than anything she just wants to be here with them, together. She wants to be here, holding them while they hold her.

She can’t believe herself; she’s so stupidly in love. It’s so unbecoming, it’s so _bad_ but she doesn’t care because she’s so happy with them. Everyone else left her so she will hang onto them with everything she can and bask in that happiness because they actually care about her. They care about her so much that they’ve stayed with her, physically, for so long already.

“I noticed you seemed to be… concerned since yesterday, when I told you I’d be leaving in a couple weeks,” they say, carefully after the silence, “Does it have to do with that?”

She lets out a breath against them as they accurately hit one of her worries. They are so damn insightful and gods it makes this easier. She reaches her own arm around their neck to tangle her hand in their hair. All this while they are stroking hers, too, running fingers through her locks and then down her back only to rise back up and repeat the action.

“Partly,” she returns, and the hands briefly pause in their motions.

“Pardon if I am wrong, but… are you worried I won’t come back?”

Vicouryn freezes for a second. Someone they know exactly what is troubling her. She should be furious at the insinuation that she relies on them to the point of fearing their abandonment, if she were her usual self. But she has changed since then and she is aware of her feelings, these wonderful and horrible feelings of love that affect her thoughts so deeply, and she knows Weiren won’t judge her. Probably.

Besides, they are right.

“I do not want to stop you from pursuing what you need, but you have no obligation to return to Mevaden,” she says, quietly, “It is not even your home, but this is where I must stay.”

Even those who once called Mevaden home left her, too. There’s a reason why she’s the queen without the rest of her family here. She wishes Weiren would stay with her forever, but she doesn’t want to chain them like her. They deserve better than that. They deserve to live untethered, but gods she wants so badly to hold onto them, wants so badly to wrap her arms around them and keep them with her, keep them in her grasp.

But she cannot do this to them. She _won’t_.

“But you’re here,” Weiren says, “this is where you are, and I love you so much. I _always_ want to see you, I doubt I could bear to stay away for too long.” There’s a short pause, and then, “I don’t really have a home at all, anyway.”

“Time changes our thoughts,” Vicouryn says, “those few months away may change those feelings of yours.”

They may find someone else, someone better than her. But even so, she has no right to tie them down to Mevaden. She needs to let them be free.

But gods, her heart sinks when they say what they do. No real home? She wants to be their home for they will always be welcome with her.

“I loved you for the rest of the war,” Weiren reminds her, “I still love you now. I’ve never felt happier than when I’m with you.”

 _Me, too. I love you, too_.

 _But still_ , she wants to say, stubbornly, _still, you might leave me. You are too close to me now and if you leave it will be_ excruciating _, so you can’t._

“The future is not set in stone,” she says. Even people who claimed to love her, to value her, have left her behind. Weiren is different in how fierce and warm their love is, but that doesn’t mean that fire can’t dwindle away. She should be prepared when they finally decide they’ve had enough, or when their time comes before her, because she is immortal, and they are not. “Already we have limited time together, because my life is eternal.” Them leaving means she’ll have less time with them, before they pass on be it from battle or illness or old age.

“Mine, too,” Weiren says, and she blinks in surprise, and then pulls back to look at them, but Weiren wears an expression of determination and complete seriousness.

“You’re mortal,” she says, drawing her brows together. Weiren will die in the distant future and she will continue to live without them, she is sure. She will suffer the pain of their loss and have to live with it.

“I have a duty to this world,” they say with a small smile, “An oath to fulfill. I’ve become strong enough that Celaste Moren has blessed me with more life. I am to stay on this plane to protect the light and life of everyone on it, including yours, to protect what is _good_ , and I will not pass unless it is through injury. Even then, though, it is unlikely. And, well, I haven’t even finished my first century as an elf.”

She stares, her heart quickening. Vicouryn can imagine a world in which they live on alongside her?

“And so I’ll swear on it.” Arms tighten around her, fingers twined in her hair. “Like I’ve sworn to Doluum, I’ll swear to return to you, and we will have more time together. I’m yours,” they say, bringing up one of their hands to brush against her cheek. That hand slips down to take one of hers, and they press it to their heart, gazing up at her with such an expression that kills the words in her throat. “I’m yours, all of me, it’s all yours, and I _love_ you. I swear that I’ll come back, that I’ll return to you. I have my oath, and I must leave every so often to uphold it, but I will return.”

There’s the stinging of tears, that unfamiliar sensation, as she stares at them and hears their earnest oath. Did they really just…? Did they say that and swear it?

“You are right that things can change over time, but I know that right now I want nothing more than to be with you,” they say, “Some things I can’t guarantee, but I _can_ guarantee my return. I will make certain of it; I _swear_ it.”

Their heart is so warm under her hand, so warm and unyielding. She pulls her hand away so she can hurriedly dip back into the embrace, hiding her face in their shoulder as she grasps them, something flickering inside her. She doesn’t have words, only an overwhelming feeling inside her chest that threatens to burst. This kindness to her, this undying loyalty, is so much. Not only are they so full of love but they are… _immortal_ like her? Not quite like her, but enough to stay beside her even through the relentless passage of time? She won’t have to think of centuries of solitude to come after they perish? How strong are _they_ , really? Strong enough to be blessed with a kind of immortality? She’s heard of some paladins being that powerful, but never met one herself.

“I love you,” Weiren says, softer now, hugging her back as she feels tears in her eyes, tears she’s fighting so desperately, not wanting to cry because that’s weakness, that’s vulnerability, but has she ever begrudged Weiren for crying before her?

She should say something back, but she can’t, because surely her voice will crack and the tears will spill, and she will sob at how kind they are, how wonderful they are, and Weiren will witness her weakness, and she can’t erase the worry that they’ll be disgusted by that display even if that thought makes no sense whatsoever.

Their hands return to touching her hair and back in a soothing motion, and she lets out a shuddering breath. Tears fall, silently, absorbing into the fabric of Weiren’s dress. 

“Vicouryn?” They say hesitantly, “I… should I keep holding you?”

“ _Yes_ ,” she manages to say, hanging onto them so tightly. _Don’t let go, don’t let me go_ . _Don’t look at me like this_.

As much as they’re hers she feels like she has fallen into their grasp, like her heart has fallen into their hands to be nourished and loved, and it’s so kind it hurts. She’s never felt this before. It’s terrifying but she wants it, she wants them to love her like this. She didn’t think anyone _could_ love her like this and yet here they are, pouring their affection on her like a waterfall of care. They have her heart and they could so easily crush it but they are giving it so much _care_.

She controls her outburst to an extent, allowing those tears to fall but stifling her sobs, unable to handle the idea of Weiren hearing her weep because that must be a horrible thing. Either way, her shoulders shake and they simply continue to hold her, pressing their warmth against her, allowing her to cry without showing her face, and it is so considerate. Her throat aches from wrestling against sobbing but over time she begins to calm, her body settling down in Weiren’s embrace, their hands simply drifting down her back, taking care of her in a way she is sure no one else ever has or ever will. This tender affection is such a simple motion and _yet_ it is so powerful, and she is theirs, she thinks, she is theirs just as much as they are hers.

_I love you, too. I love you, too._

“How are you feeling?” Weiren asks quietly, holding her so gently still.

“Mm,” she returns, not sure she’s up to forming words, and simply tightens her grasp on them, “I am fine. I... thank you.”

There’s a shift as Weiren lets out a little laugh.

“Of course. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” They ask next, and _ugh_ she is reminded of the incoming peril of Mevaden, but she doesn’t want to think about it anymore tonight. She doesn’t want to think about anything bad, only how much Weiren loves her, and how much she loves them, and how she will lie with them and find comfort in their presence. 

“Later,” she answers, “Tonight, let us just think of us.”

“Okay,” Weiren agrees, “If you want, I can do most of it tonight. You must be tired.”

Gods, she is tired. So emotionally tired, because crying just does that, apparently, which is why she normally opts not to do that, not to feel foolish emotions. Back in the study she was ready to relentlessly fuck Weiren in a myriad of positions until they could barely move, but now she wants to just simply relax in their care. Instead of distracting herself from thinking about how she might have feelings for them by choosing to physically overwhelm then, she can distract herself from thoughts of losing Mevaden by thinking instead how much she must love them. She can just think of them, because they are everything _good_ , and they chase all the bad away. She wants to wrap herself in a sea of their love and never surface; she wants to stay there for all eternity.

“Let us just rest together,” she murmurs, not wanting to let go. Sex is fun and all but perhaps that’s enough for today. Both of them had much pleasure already, and while she enjoys sexual activities right now she is enjoying their embrace even more.

“Oh, alright,” Weiren says above her, a strange tone in their voice.

“Were you expecting more?” she asks, amused, and they shift underneath her.

“You uh, you told me to keep it inside,” they say, and she blinks.

_Oh._

Gods, she was so thrown by her realization of her love that she quite literally forgot she had Weiren stay prepared for _further_ intimacy tonight. 

“I mean, I got used to it but I’m not sure it’s the smartest thing to _sleep_ with it in,” they add sheepishly.

Vicouryn realizes that she was crying on them _while_ they had a leather dildo strapped deep inside them, and she wants to smack her forehead for her carelessness and for how ridiculous the situation is. They were probably worked up and waiting for her to return to continue fucking them and instead it turned into an emotional moment of her being vulnerable and the _whole time_ they were… _like that_. They had that inside of them and they just petted her hair and swore an oath to return to her.

“Gods,” she says, “I forgot. My apologies.”

There’s a shaking, and then Weiren’s laughing out loud, and then she’s chuckling, too, and gods again she feels such a strange sense of mirth. It’s the kind of joy she has only ever really felt around _them._ It’s embarrassing, but it’s fun, and it’s freeing. 

“It’s fine,” they laugh, “it was fun? I think?”

“Hm, did you pleasure yourself?” She asks, pulling back to look at them, and their blush darkens as they shake their head. She wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

“N-no, I just waited. I mean, you said that my… _pleasure_ is yours so I don’t really… do anything without you.” Weiren glances to the side, their cheeks reddening further. 

Vicouryn stares. 

“I only want to do it with you,” they append, shrugging shyly.

How… how delightful!

“So that’s how you took it,” she muses, remembering those words, “You only find pleasure with _me_.”

They nod, turning back to face her.

“Well, I suppose that should be true while you are with me. You _should_ only come by my hands. But, when you depart, you have my permission to take care of yourself if you find yourself in a wanting mood,” she says slyly, “otherwise, when in my manor, if you are ever desiring of intimacy, _tell_ me. If I am unavailable until later that day, you will just have to wait until I can take care of it.”

Weiren shifts again and there’s something hardening against her as their blush intensifies.

“I… you saying that isn’t helping right now.” They glance down to where her body presses against theirs. Fancy that, even just her _words_ of control are stimulating them. She smirks; she supposes she can just finish this for them before they rest, since she _is_ the one that caused their desire.

“Do not worry,” she says, pulling back, “I will take care of you. It is my fault you’re like this now, after all.”

“Are you sure? I can just take it out and we can get to rest,” they say, but she nods as she reaches a hand down to touch the tenting fabric.

“I’m sure,” she returns, “You did very well earlier today, after all. I can’t believe it took me so long to bend you over that desk.”

Weiren presses their lips together and she can feel their length stiffen further. 

“It was pretty fun,” they admit, “The wall was nice, too.”

She laughs as she gets up to pull the fabric out from under her, finding the split in their skirt and opening it up to expose their legs.

“Then there will be more of that in the future. For now, help me get these off you.” Vicouryn plucks at the hem of their underwear and Weiren lifts their body to help shimmy them off, revealing the leather straps and their erection. Gods, she can’t even imagine what it must be like to just be constantly penetrated over an entire hour, but they seem to be fine. She doesn't have a prostate, though, so she supposes it’d be less overwhelming.

The fact that they’ll only find a climax with her is so much, and she wonders how far that will go because now it’s making her want to tell them to wear that harness like that throughout the _day_ and see how on the edge they get, unable to find release until one of her breaks or until she is done with work. She takes great pleasure in being able to control them like that.

What if they had sex and then just went to bed with her inside them? Or vice versa; she would not be opposed to trying it all out.

She pats their thigh and then gets up to retrieve a soft cloth and lubrication, shaking the thoughts away. That’ll be for later. All these fun ideas are for another time.

Now armed, she returns and sits beside them and sets the cloth on their thigh, and then sends them a sly look. Without saying anything, she simply leans over and brushes her lips against their warm length, letting her hands stroke down their leg, and there’s a barely perceptible exhale from their lips.

“You will tell me when you’re close,” she says, breath gusting across them, and then she licks a grazing, wet stripe along them. She doesn't want to take too long, so she drags her hand to close around their base.

“I will,” they say, breath hitching as she takes them into her mouth, dragging her lips along them, “gods, um, probably not too long, since it’s been- ah, inside me for an _hour_ , gods.”

She chuckles around them, working quickly. As is the rest of their body, their length is hot, and she wonders how it feels for them to be inside her cold mouth. She applies pressure, sucking lightly as she bobs her head, her hand stroking them in tandem as she rises and falls, stimulating them as they gasp. Then she slows and pulls back, her hands moving to find the fastenings of the harness as her paladin trembles and blushes. They have to shift their leg and drape it off the edge of the chaise lounge to give her more space. She kneels on the ground beside them since it gives her the best angle and leverage to their pelvis without craning her neck.

It isn’t too hard to free them and then detach the length from the harness, and she drops the leather straps on the side, leaving them still full though the length is sliding out, no longer held in place. Vicouryn hums thoughtfully as she pours some oil on her hand and then pulls at the leather inside of them, dragging it carefully in case the lubrication from before has dried, but thankfully that is not the case. Weiren moans as it exits their body and she re-coats it, slicking it adequately, and then with one hand she pushes it back inside, and the other she takes a firm grip of them.

“Put the cloth on your stomach,” she says as they breathe shakily, “I’d rather not make a mess.”

That's all she says before she starts the motions, sliding her hand along their length and thrusting the leather into them at a languid pace. Weiren obediently places the fabric and then stares down at her hands with lidded eyes, no doubt full of some pent-up desire due to having been wearing that harness for a time.

It is sensual and leisurely until she speeds up, causing Weiren to moan and tremble.

“I’m close,” they gasp, “ah!”

She firms her grip at their base and stops her motions, looking up at them with a subtle smile, and they bite their lip, their body tensing as she holds off that climax physically.

“ _Fuck_ ,” they whisper, eyes closing as she stays still, but they do not move, preferring to let her be the one who causes their pleasure.

She waits for half a minute, letting their pleasure fade, and then resumes stimulating them. She isn’t feeling so cruel as to stave off their climax for that long, so the next time Weiren’s breaths get shallower and they warn her again, she intensifies her motions, pushing the leather inside them deeply as she drags her hand along their length even quicker. This will be when she allows their orgasm, and with precision she tilts their length towards their stomach. A few seconds and another moan later, Weiren hits their peak, come spilling from their length as she continues to stroke them, milking them of everything. The cloth catches all of it easily; Weiren already came so many times today that they produce less fluid, and they’re gasping softly as she slows down to a stop. 

There’s a few moments as Weiren breathes deeply, recovering from that climax, and she pulls away, sliding the leather out of them as they sigh.

“Good?” she asks, and they nod, blinking as they come down from their climax.

“Yea, thank you,” they say, running a hand through their hair. The two of them do a quick cleanup, tossing used cloths in a basket while Vicouryn cleans off the toy and harness and then puts them away.

There’s still a few hours before they usually go to sleep, though, and the two pass that free time wrapped in each other by the fire talking softly as Weiren strokes Vicouryn’s hair.

_I love you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oath of ancients paladin op? casually immortal at lvl 15


	8. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicouryn finds she wants to confide in Weiren even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> related tags: cunnilingus, vaginal sex, inebriation, uh, like, idk, nothing new :/, some blood slurpage, emotional support n talking abt shit

Days pass, both leisurely and painfully, Vicouryn worrying less about Weiren leaving her behind and more about just dealing with their absence coupled with the nonsense the nobles are doing.

She wakes up before they do, as usual. They’re tucked into her arms as they breathe softly, their body warm and comforting against her. 

Gods, she’d hold them forever if she could. How many times has she held them before realizing how much she cared, how much she _wanted_ and _loved_ them? Just the simple act of them being present when she wakes from her trance is so powerful; she feels so content and peaceful despite the other shit happening.

She wants them to feel content, too. Her thoughts are still putting themselves together but she knows in her heart she wants to touch them until they wake, like she has so many times before. Their mornings should be pleasant and relaxed, and their face when they blink to consciousness is such a wonderful one. She cannot get enough of the way they smile when she’s the first thing they see in the morning.

Vicouryn props herself up on an elbow and strokes her hand down their arm, and lets her fingers dip around the curve of their body to find a soft nipple, and then presses her lips to their shoulder. They should wake from whatever dream or meditation with a gentle touch and sleepy pleasure. She isn’t ready to tell them she loves them so in the meantime she will simply continue to take care of them in the ways she knows best.

She leans over them and breathes across their ear and then touches her lips to their cheek, and their body shifts just a bit in reaction. Carefully her hand trails down from their chest to the front of their hips and _oh_ , it seems as if Weiren’s unconsciously aroused already, something she knows occurs commonly for those with these parts.

Her fingers graze them and she makes up her mind. 

“Weiren,” she says softly, leaning closer as she drifts her touch across them, “I want you, now. Come, wake.”

There’s an inhale as the paladin turns their head, their eyes barely opening as they stir.

“Hm?” they say, not fully awake yet, and there’s something so sweet about them like this, adorably sleepy and in her arms.

“I want you,” she repeats, closing her hand around them underneath the comforters and they gasp slowly, still moving in that drowsy way. “I will take you until you rouse properly.”

Their eyelids flutter as they come closer to consciousness, a soft laugh coming from their lips.

“Morning. I want you, too,” they say, turning to press a slow kiss to her cheek, and she sighs as her heart jumps, “go ahead.”

Right now the harness is elsewhere, put away, so perhaps she’ll take them inside her instead. She pulls on their shoulder so that they roll onto their back and she can climb over them, hovering over them in that deliciously dominant position that she loves so much, and they simply smile up at her, eyes lidded and still sleepy. How can someone be this perfect? 

She leans over them and balances herself on one hand while she uses her other to touch herself so she can prepare to take them inside.

“I can do that part if you want,” Weiren offers, “You can come first.”

“Oh?” She cocks her head, and they gesture.

“If you come up here,” they say, a loose grin on their face, and she smirks. Yes, how much more experienced they are now, how delightful that tongue of theirs has become.

“Then,” she says, “I will.” Vicouryn shifts forward so that she hovers over their face, and they put warm hands on her thighs as she lowers herself to their mouth. Still a little slow due to just having awoken, they start pleasuring her, their tongue reaching out to stroke along her.

It’s interesting how things have changed since the beginning, back when it was all about Vicouryn giving them pleasure and not normally the other way around though Weiren was very insistent on returning the favor even if it was unusual for her. But now they pleasure her almost as much as she does them, so frequently and without asking for anything in return, though certainly she gives them more climaxes on average because she just wants them to writhe under her touch, wants them to be so completely under her influence and making them feel that good is a very clear way to see how she affects them. 

Not to mention that a lot of the time the two sleep entirely nude, now, both wanting to feel the other against their skin.

Glancing down their eyes have closed and they’re simply licking at her in a relaxed manner, stimulating her core slowly and gently. She exhales, relaxing as well, settling into this position as she sits on their face though she’s keeping a bit of tension in her knees to lessen the pressure on them, wanting to give them a bit of space.

Weiren runs their hands up and down her thighs as they stroke her, and after a few minutes their head is bobbing gently, their tongue moving in turn with those motions before they shift up to tend to her clitoris, prompting a gasp as sparks begin to light. Gods, they know exactly what she likes after having done this so often and they do it so well, and they are content to lie there and do it for however long it takes her to climax. 

Their hands on her legs push just a little bit, encouraging her to press more against them, and so she lets her legs relax and then bites her lip as it further increases the pressure of their mouth on her. A few minutes later and she leans forward and takes a hold of their head, and then she’s rocking her hips, slowly and carefully but _gods_ it really makes it feel even better. Her fingers tangle in their hair and she pulls them more against her, and they respond by increasing the motions of their tongue and lips, kissing her so deeply down at her core with care and love, and it is only another few minutes when the release hits, pleasure curling through her body as she gasps, her head tilting back as she comes. Their tongue keeps moving, dragging through her folds so wonderfully, and then she’s sliding back as she comes down from the high, returning to straddle their pelvis instead, where they are still erect and ready, now more than before since they’d tended to her.

“You did very well,” she says, pleased, as she passes them a cloth, “Now you may relax. I’ll be taking you for a good, long while.”

“Anything for you,” Weiren returns, still smiling as they wipe off their face, and then they sink back into the pillows, “Go as long as you want.”

“Yes, I will.” She sends them a dark smirk as she takes them in her hand, finding the slight arousal at the tip and spreading it along their length. She’s wet enough, she knows, to be able to take them without lubricant, though if it goes for longer perhaps she will add some.

She spends just a bit of time to reach inside herself, making sure she can take the size, and gods she can tell with the way her fingers slide through that she is so incredibly ready.

Then she cants her hips, guides their tip, and simply sinks down at a slow pace, taking them inside her where they belong. Weiren lets out a soft moan as she envelops them, their length so warm inside her chill and she exhales as she takes them entirely, her body settling down against their hips. 

“Mm,” Weiren hums, still a little sleepy, “I love you.”

 _I, too_.

“Good,” she says, “Thank you.” 

A second passes as she gazes down at their affectionate expression, and then she begins to move. When she rolls her hips their eyes fall closed and they simply relax to take the pleasure she offers, to bask in her touch as she takes them, as she fucks them, the one who is _hers_ and no one else’s. If there ever comes a time when she and they both die she will fight Celaste Moren tooth and nail to have them in the next plane, though she supposes she _is_ grateful to that deity for giving Weiren that strange divine immortality that she can still barely believe they have.

She moves slowly, and as she lets her hips rock she leans over them to press kisses to their neck, that beautiful neck that is always marked by her in some way, be it by love bites or vampiric ones, though there _is_ a bite scar from so long ago that still decorates their skin, a longer-lasting symbol of her claim. Selfish as it is, she likes that they still have it, though she’ll never scar them like that again, never lose control over her hunger like that again. 

Weiren is hers, their body is hers, their love is hers, and she is more fortunate than anyone else that ever existed to have them, and she wants the whole world to know that they are hers but alas this must be kept secret for now. A shame, but it is what must be done, though it means she can be the only one to look upon them, so she supposes it is fine.

Weiren’s arms come around her, holding her close as she pauses in her motions, them still so deep inside her, and the moment feels so amazingly intimate. Locked together physically with their intercourse, but also with the affection of their love as they hug her, as they are happy to be with her.

 _I love you_ , she thinks as she nibbles at their skin, wondering if perhaps she should leave a new mark, _Gods, I love you. How are you mine?_

“You must know that you are so incredibly wonderful,” she whispers against them, “You are _perfect_ in every conceivable way, and I am unimaginably grateful that you love me.”

One of Weiren's hands rises to her hair in a tender caress.

“No, you,” they say playfully, their voice light, “You're wonderful.”

“Accept my sentiment,” she says, rolling her hips once as they gasp, her lips trailing along an ear. “Accept it, for it is the truth.”

“Alright,” they exhale, hugging her closer, “thank you. But what I said is the truth, too.”

She scoffs inwardly, but doesn't show it. It is just like them to say that, but she is nothing compared to them. They are the sun, a life-giving force of good, and she is the darkness that drains them and clings to them as hard as she can. She is a shadow chained down by history and they are the generous warmth that keeps her company in her solitude.

Their lips touch against her shoulder as she kisses their skin, reciprocating her touch.

“I’ve never wanted someone as much as you before,” they muse, “I’ve never really been in love like this, before you.”

She pulls back to gaze at their soft expression, and they trail a hand along the frame of her face.

“I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” they continue, thumb tracing across the curve of her cheek.

 _I love you_.

“I…” she begins, sentiments swirling in her chest, but the dangerous words don’t make it far enough because she simply leans back to their neck, returning to the embrace, “thank you.”

“Anytime,” Weiren returns, nuzzling into her shoulder contentedly. Of course they make her feel like this yet again.

So, then, it is her turn to make them feel things. 

“I, too, have never desired to have someone as much as you,” she says, “To me, _you_ are the most wonderful person _I_ have met. You are endlessly kind and noble and patient, and again I am incredibly fortunate that you are here with me.” As her heart thrums in her chest, Vicouryn resumes her motions, intent on making Weiren moan, intent on filling them with so much pleasure that they can’t think of anything but how well she touches then, how they can’t imagine living without her stroking them. She loves them, and she will make them come and she will make them moan and she will make them experience ecstasy every single day.

Weiren’s face is full of both affection and desire as she looks down at them, her words _and_ her touch giving them so much pleasure.

“Thank you,” they gasp, “Ah! Th-thank you, gods, I love you!”

She fucks them, and they enjoy it, and she does so until they’re tensing, their breath hitching in their throat as they climax, their come spilling inside the queen who takes it, holding them inside her as they shake. A few seconds pass as they tremble, the orgasm rippling through their limbs, and then they relax, sighing deeply. Their gaze falls on her with a needy expression.

“Please,” Weiren says, “can you kiss me?”

_Yes, always._

She leans down and takes those lips immediately, fulfilling their request with vigor as they soften inside her, and gods their kisses are so good, so wonderful, and it warms her heart to run her lips across theirs. She reaches with her tongue and they welcome it inside them and they moan around her touch, melting beneath her. Vicouryn is a master of their body and she does everything they love, spoiling them with her caresses and aggressive kisses.

The hour passes with several more climaxes, Vicouryn arousing Weiren to hardness and then riding them many more times, to the point where they look as if they might just tuck back into bed for a little while longer while Vicouryn leaves to work. She likes that she has her vampiric stamina, because she likes to leave them so well-fucked and relaxed.

“Tonight,” she says, redressing, “Let us share some wine. It has been awhile since the last time, so I hope you will look forward to it.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Weiren says. 

“Good,” she returns with a pleased smile, “I will have a break at the tenth hour, so come by, then.”

“Of course.” They nod, though it is clear they’re tired enough to rest for a little while longer, and she departs.

In the month Weiren has been here, the two have had a sparse few nights of alcohol and passion. She’s hoping it will be another good distraction from dealing with the possibility of losing Mevaden, since that and her feelings of… _love_ have been consuming her mind so entirely. 

She’s ashamed to admit it but sometimes those two things have been mixing in distasteful ways. After all, ruling Mevaden is what is chaining her down; it is what is keeping her from openly claiming Weiren as her own, from finding a life beyond what she has now. If she did not have a status so high, she could very easily imagine Weiren on her arm at an event, though surely they might find themself uncomfortable at anything too fancy.

These thoughts are absurd, because she has only one purpose in life, and that is to serve her family and to maintain their control over Mevaden, and to shirk it would be _shameful_. Her father would be so disappointed, her whole family would be.

But… When was the last time they were even here? Do they still even care?

Of course they care. These are illogical thoughts. Her father is _proud_ of her, and he will continue to be proud of her.

Yes, he is proud, and he cares, and that is why he left her here to rule Mevaden.

Alone.

Besides, what else could she even do as a vampire? Traveling is a hassle as it is; she does not belong underneath the sun. This life is the only option for her.

Her fingers tighten but she exhales and calms herself, and heads to her chambers to get ready for the day.

***

As always, she has plans for Weiren. Her idea from a few days prior is ready to be executed, and she has a harness tucked away in her desk yet again. This time they will wear it for just a bit longer than before, and tonight they’ll drink with her and be _already_ prepared for penetration, except this time they’ll actually do it. For real.

Wine and intimacy with the paladin she loves will surely take her mind off the bad. As the date of Weiren’s departure approaches she knows she must use her time as wisely as possible. Despite dreading so deeply their absence she knows the months will pass. She has lived for far longer and a few measly months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just a few months, and then they'll be back, back in her manor where she can reclaim them over and over to make up for their time apart, and maybe perhaps tell them she might love them if it seems as if Mevaden will slip through her fingers.

Even if Mevaden stays under her control, telling them can’t do any harm, right? Surely she can’t give them a proper relationship but they love her so much, _she_ loves _them_ so much, shouldn’t she tell them and they will simply be secret lovers? Vicouryn has kept many secrets locked down, and Weiren will simply be another one until she is free of her rule. It is still not an ideal situation, but if they are happy with that, with her, then… she wants nothing more than to return their love, that wonderful love that has illuminated her in so many ways.

It is shameful to be affected so much by a person, but she doesn’t really care anymore, not that much. No one can judge her because no one really knows except Nahlia who knows her so well, and her desires are so strong that she is ecstatic when she can fulfill them, when she can hold Weiren close to her and know that they are hers. Fuck everyone else, fuck the nobles, fuck her absent family, Weiren has done more for her than anyone else, who does she care about disappointing her father if he isn’t even here? Of course, her attendants and guards are exempt from her contempt, for they are all dedicated and loyal and have also done much for her. Everyone else can simply fade away. If she could just take this manor and hide it away somewhere else, they could all live happily and without concern.

Childish thoughts, really.

She can only do her best and see what happens. Of course she will do her utmost to make sure she remains queen or at the very least a member of whatever council forms in lieu of ending the monarchy. If necessary she can use her vampiric influence though she’d prefer not to use those abilities in that way. Becoming a part of the council is the most likely scenario, though she is sure her father would much prefer she be the one in absolute power. Hm, if he cares so much then perhaps he should have stayed to rule with her like they were supposed to.

Her line of thought is interrupted by her paladin opening the door, that _beautiful_ fucking paladin of hers. Gods, they’re _resplendent._ Today they’re in a long coat over a fine shirt and vest patterned with subtle leaves, with a long black skirt that falls to their feet. Of course, the tunic has a button at the back of the neck that allows her to access their skin, and while the vest fastens at the front it can also be fastened at the back. Their long hair is pulled into a ponytail, and though she prefers their hair to be down she can tell it will be easier to grab it and pull like that. She wonders if that's what they were thinking when tying it up.

“Weiren,” she addresses, “Come.”

“Hello!” Weiren greets as they obey, shutting the door behind them. As usual they pull off the outer layers so they can drape it over one of the chairs in the room. “Hey, um, Vicouryn?”

“Hm?” She returns, curious.

“I was wondering… Would you mind if I… um… called you my love?”

Vicouryn freezes in her motions, her stone expression solidifying in reaction to the explosion of energy in her chest. _What?!_

“I just… I’ve always wanted to use names like that, you know, for the one I love,” they confess, glancing at the ground shyly, “but only if you would be okay with it. Of course it would only be when no one else is around.”

She stares, and she is briefly petrified as her mind just conjures the words in their voice. _My love. Good morning, my love. I love you, my love. I’ll miss you, my love. Thank you, my love._

Her heart thumps but she shows no sign of that, holding herself down with every ounce of learned control she has. Gods, would she survive? But _gods_ , even just imagining it sparks something that must be delight. 

“Vicouryn?” They repeat, concerned at her lack of response, and she steels herself, trying to reply.

“That is fine,” she says, “I would not mind.”

_Say it, say it, say it._

Weiren’s face alights with a huge grin as they approach, and then they’re taking her hands in theirs and holding them up.

“Then,” they say eagerly, “I’ve missed you, my love.” With those words they kiss her gently on the cheek, and she feels like she’s flying, which is so stupid because it’s just a few words, but _gods_ these words are so damn powerful; how can they make her feel like this?

In the past she’d be disgusted, but now she is simply amused at herself. 

“Then, what am I to call you?” She inquires as they pull back, calming her nerves. What if _she_ called Weiren her love? Not only her companion, but her lover, her _love_ , the one she loves with all her heart, all her heart that she thought was empty but now it is full to bursting, somehow, and she can’t do anything about it.

“Weiren is fine,” they say, “you don’t need to worry about that.” Right, because they don’t know that she loves them. She hasn’t said a word about it. What would she call them? Her sun? Her light? Her flower? Her bloom? Oh gods, she’s never thought about anything like this before.

“Hm,” she returns, narrowing her eyes, “Well, you _are_ my lover at this point, considering all the intimacy we’ve been doing, and all the ways in which you are personally _mine_ . Perhaps I am to call you _love_ , too.” _There_ , she thinks _, I can do it too_. Weiren’s blush intensifies, which is what she wanted, and then their head tilts as they regard her.

“Only if you want to,” they say, looking down at their entwined hands with a smile, and they look thoughtful in a way that kind of scares her. 

“Weiren, love,” she says, giving it a try, and then she wants to die on the spot because it sounds awful and ominous coming out of her mouth compared to the rich warm voice of Weiren, and _fuck,_ as much as she knows she loves them she is so unsuited to _love_ , considering her nature and her personality. They are so much more compatible with the idea of love with their kindness and tender affection.

“Yes?” Weiren answers, breaking her out of her brief self-disgust. They’ve got their warm smile on, their grasp on her fingers tightening, and they actually don’t look horrified by what she’s said, but she feels so self-conscious now, so terribly out of her element that she needs to move past this topic. She clears her throat, swallowing.

“Today we will prepare you for _tonight_ ,” she says, coughing, “I am going to fuck you here, and then you will be full until I am done with work, and then we will have wine, and I will fuck you again.”

“That sounds good to me,” they say, mostly unfazed by those words by now considering how frequently she says them, “thank you, my love.”

Gods be damned. 

But she can’t be mad about it. They’re so delightful, and she loves them, all of them. She sighs, shaking her head.

As nonchalant as they are about her vulgar words she knows that facade will fall away once she starts touching them, but for now she simply pulls them into her arms, wanting to just embrace them for the moment, because their hugs are a blessing in and of itself. 

_Hmm, I love you_ , she thinks, inhaling that scent of theirs, that wonderful scent flavored with fresh air and earth, _I love you_.

She wonders if they can intuit that, like they can intuit so many other things, if they can simply tell and know without her having to utter those words aloud, because the thought of doing so is overwhelming even if she thinks she wants to say them, but it is so embarrassing. She wishes they could just know without it being some big thing, but also she wants the moment to be wonderful if it ever comes. She wants to do it in the right place, with the right gift, with the right words, with the right everything. She needs it to be perfect, because they deserve nothing less than that. 

She needs to present it in the best light possible, to make up for it being her out of everyone else, to make up for her being cold and cruel. For even though they love her she still knows there are people far more suited to love than she is.

But they _do_ love her, and she touches them better than anyone, makes them happy better than anyone, takes care of them better than anyone. She may be a dark and controlling and cold woman but even so she knows them better than anyone else.

“Love hugging you,” Weiren murmurs, their arms tightening around her waist, but really she is the one who loves hugging them. They’re wider than her and so their warmth envelops her more easily, and they are so comforting to hold, but she supposes she is a bit taller so maybe that makes it better for them. 

“Embracing is quite enjoyable,” she returns, “you are quite good at it.”

“Well, you deserve the best ones,” they say, laughing lightly against her, “only the best for you.”

Strangely this almost brings tears to her eyes, because their affection is so overwhelmingly strong that it does that to her, but she holds them back. It’s strange, but in her mind she feels like the strength of their love is what normal families are supposed to have. Her family was atypical, and theirs was… well, they didn’t have much of one, but now they have each other, and she feels so much more comfortable around them, and it feels like they’re so close to her that they’re more of her family than her real family ever was. 

She feels at home with them.

The feeling is strange, but it is nice, and so she basks.

***

Surprisingly the break passes without anything going as far as she’d planned. The harness sits untouched in the drawer, and she instead relaxes with Weiren on the chaise lounge. She lays across their front and takes comfort in the sound of their beating heart and the rise and fall of their chest as they loosely braid her hair. 

She’d been ready to fill this time with intimacy, but more and more she finds she doesn’t _need_ sexual intimacy to make her time with Weiren enjoyable; it was just the thing she knew best that they also would like, but there’s something wonderful about sharing silence together like this, too. Sharing silence as she allows them to hold her because even if it’s out of character she has come to guiltily love the sensation of being wrapped up in their arms. As much as she has somehow comforted them in their hard times, they comfort her just as much. She won’t lie, it’s nice to be tended to in this way and maybe it makes her feel vulnerable but it’s a vulnerability she has become accustomed to. A vulnerability that she allows Weiren to see, and they are happy to be able to witness it.

 _I love you_ , she thinks as they hold her tight and press a kiss to her forehead, _I love you, and you love me, and we must love each other, like this_ . _Am I not the most fortunate person on this plane?_

She shifts forward, lifting her chin so she can brush her lips across theirs in a slow and tender touch, her heart full of contentment and love. Her hand slides up to cup their cheek and they smile into the kiss, warm fingers grazing her own face as they reciprocate. 

It’s so soft, so chaste, so pure, and yet her chest thrums with energy and love. She welcomes those butterflies, those symbols of her emotions, and continues to kiss, pressing them languidly across their skin. She shifts again, and with both of her hands she cradles their face so gently and leans forward, pressing her forehead against theirs and sighing softly. How have they made her feel so happy? She can barely understand how a single person can do this to her, but as always love is a powerful force.

 _I love you_ , she thinks, _but you must wait. Wait until I’m ready. I will tell you in the future._

She wants to do something for them when the time comes. She wants it to be wonderful, and it will be. But for now she will simply touch and cherish them and _know_ that she loves them. The kiss comes to a pause and she simply drifts her lips to their cheek and then down to their neck, gentle and careful. Weiren’s hand comes to the back of her head as she does so but without applying any pressure, and their chin tilts up to give her more space. A few minutes pass, Vicouryn taking her time to leisurely tend to the one she loves.

“Wanna do the same for you,” Weiren whispers, a soft gasp falling from their lips, “Can we roll over?”

Without replying she shifts, leading the motion and as the two roll, one of Weiren’s hands tucks under her back, the other still cushioning the back of her head. It’s a less familiar position for her, but they’re holding her so close and she feels so warm and comfortable. Now with them above her, they dip their head to kiss her again, their lips so wonderfully soft, so gentle. They always touch her with so much care, never pressing too much, and it’s another comforting sign of how they want her to be relaxed. 

Then they break away to kiss at _her_ neck, in that gentle way that almost tickles but overall feels nice and calming. She loves how their bodies are pressed so close to one another, no space between them so it is like an ongoing embrace, one she wishes would last forever. She can feel Weiren’s affection overflowing around them, and she wonders if they can feel hers, if they can feel her love in the way she holds them so tightly, the way she sinks into their touch so completely.

Their shoulder is positioned so close to her face but she doesn’t even feel the desire to drain them right now. Beyond anything she just wants to stay here with them as they trail kisses along her throat and back to her mouth where she reciprocates with ease. There’s no guidance or control for this, none of that dominance for this moment. Right now the two are giving and taking equally, sharing their love with one another in a balanced fashion. Of course she still loves her control, and surely in the bedroom she’ll return to that delicious dominance, but gods right now this feels like a dream. Everything is slow and languid and relaxed and _good_ , Weiren and her curled around each other almost like cats, content to just lie there and tend to each other with simple affection and touch.

Normally her kisses would build to something more intimate, but this doesn’t really escalate like that, not like usual. The kissing does get deeper but it is still just that: _kissing_ , and nothing more. It’s so strange, she’s kissed them so many times before but this is so different because of how her love thrums in her chest and how she and Weiren are acting on the same level of power, respecting and loving one another in a way that makes her want to just keep kissing them. She doesn’t even try to make Weiren breathless; the two break apart as often as necessary, and then simply return to the simple intimacy of their lips until Weiren decides to dip back down to Vicouryn’s neck.

 _We are each other’s,_ she thinks as she exhales, soft lips running along her collarbone, _I’m theirs, too, just as much as they’re mine._

“Mine,” she whispers softly, tangling her fingers into their hair which she’d pulled free earlier, running her hands through their locks.

“Yours,” they return against her, warm breath hitting her skin.

 _Yours, too_ , she thinks, hugging them even closer, _yours, too._

***

Usually, Vicouryn never discusses her problems with anyone.

Usually, she never _has_ problems to discuss. Anything that could be a problem is handled with her status and power and diplomacy, and any problems that can’t be handled in such a way are ignored. She needs direct control to solve plain and simple issues, and anything ambiguous like illogical feelings is too intangible to properly deal with. So, usually she solves them, and doesn’t have issues, or she has a stupid _feeling_ that festers for some reason, and she locks it away, never to be seen again. She knows silly things like emotion can only lead to weakness.

Above all, she _despises_ having to ask for help. Hiring people to do a job is fine, but having to express a _need_ for aid makes her look weak.

She is _not_ weak. 

All of this has been so true for so long, for _centuries,_ and yet with the way Weiren has crossed her barriers and come to embrace her at her center, her ability to lock away her emotions is… _failing_ . Her first thought is that she doesn’t want to burden them with insignificant problems, but there is something about this paladin that makes her want to spill everything, to lower her walls and speak freely about anything and everything. Already they’ve helped her deal with issues on her mind, not once but _twice_ , when she became delirious from a bath, and when they could tell she was perturbed by the idea of them leaving Mevaden. Their words and actions… _fixed_ those issues.

She was terrified of showing weakness and she was reduced to a stumbling crying mess. Weiren simply held her, took her out of the bath, brought her to their room, gave her their blood, and held her again through the night until the morning, where they brought her pleasure for at least an hour.

And the other time. She did not even say anything but they could _tell_ with their insight alone, and she did not have to suffer the indignity of bringing up the issue herself. They gently asked their questions to encourage her in a way that did not shame her, and though she was horrified and embarrassed, after everything Weiren had eased her concerns. She’d fallen a little harder in love with them.

Before those events she would have rather died than talk to them about her issues, and now knowing how caring and warm they are, she feels the urge to say more, to tell them _more_ , because she has feelings that have been caged away for years. She’s never had an outlet for those foolish things, but somehow Weiren deals with emotions in a way that feels wonderful.

It’s still embarrassing, and she still feels shame, but she _wants_ to talk to them, so badly, just as much as she wants to hide these problems from them. They have seen more of her than anyone else, seen her in these vulnerable states, and they welcomed it with open arms and took her lovingly into their embrace.

She hopes they will notice, again. She isn’t sure she can bring it up herself, and she hopes so foolishly that they will notice. It’s unbecoming to rely on their actions to talk about _her_ problems, but it is so hard for her, so damn hard. She can’t open up without their gentle encouragement, for some reason. Deep down she knows that their influence on her is so, so strong now, but she can’t find it in herself to resist, to tear herself away from them. She wants to stay tied to them forever, because she loves them in a way that sets her cold heart aflame.

She won’t admit it, but suggesting wine might possibly be a way to facilitate her worried words slipping out, because they won’t escape her filters unless she turns them off. Her emotions become bolder when inebriated, she knows, but she can also use the alcohol as an excuse, to preserve her honor if it comes to it.

Though, Vicouryn needs to make sure she _doesn’t_ let slip her love. Not yet, at least. It isn’t time, and she would want to give them her love with a clear mind, though she supposes it’ll be less embarrassing if she _is_ inebriated in the moment. 

No, they deserve to hear it in the best way possible. They deserve to hear it in a gazebo as she holds their hands and tucks a flower behind their ear, when she offers them a token of her affection and an eloquent promise of their future. She doesn’t have everything planned out yet, but she has her ideas. 

She opens the door quietly and strides in, a fresh bottle of wine tucked in her arms. Weiren’s seated at their desk, illuminated by a single candle as their quill scratches at their parchment in a focused manner. They don’t seem to notice her, and after she sets the wine on the table by the fireplace she makes her way over, feeling a little mischievous. As perceptive as Weiren is, she is also quite good at blending into the shadows, what with her attire and vampiric speed, and she manages to surprise them every so often. 

There’s a moment where they put the quill back down, shift their chair back and stretch, and this is a perfect moment for she doesn’t want to ruin whatever they’re writing.

Her arms come down around them from behind as they gasp and flinch, but quickly they settle down as her hold firms around them, her head pressing into their shoulder as she embraces them.

“Vicouryn!” they exclaim quietly, delight apparent in their surprise, “I didn’t notice you come in.”

“Weiren,” she returns, and then bravely, “ _love_.” She straightens and then steps around, swinging a leg around to sit on their lap and face them properly with a playful smile, looking down now that she has a higher vantage point than usual. 

Weiren grins and then leans forward, and she meets that motion with a kiss. Gods, every single time, their lips are impeccable. So warm and so gentle and _perfect_ , just like the rest of them. She simply will _never_ get tired of their touch. She deepens the kiss eagerly, leaning further in a quick motion, wanting to taste them even more when the chair tips back, and then the two are falling. Oops. 

Weiren gasps into her lips, their limbs beginning to flail. It is no issue for her to slide a hand behind their head to tuck into her neck and another around their back, cushioning them appropriately as she shifts to the side, pulling them away from the hard wood of the chair so that they land safely with her, rolling once so that now she’s on the ground while they lay upon her, and as stupid as the situation is, Vicouryn for some reason feels pleased with herself even if there is a slight pain in her back.

“Vicouryn! Are you okay?” Weiren lifts their head, blinking away the brief dizziness until they see her smug smile. “Oh, come on,” they laugh, “did you want to kiss me that badly?”

Vicouryn responds by pulling their lips to hers again, and then rolls over once more so she’s on top of them, pinning them down with her weight as she claims their mouth. A second later and there’s the taste of iron on her tongue and she backs away, brows drawn together in concern. Has she hurt them?

“You’re bleeding,” she says, scanning their face and finds there’s a cut on their lips. Weiren’s hand reaches up to touch their mouth and their finger comes away with a bit of red, and her heart sinks. She’s always been so careful to try not to hurt them accidentally but she was careless this time, with her fangs so close to them while they fell. 

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Weiren returns, shrugging as best they can in this position, “it’s just a small cut.”

Vicouryn frowns and draws them into a hug, averting her gaze.

“I am sorry,” she says, and it’s so strange that this small thing makes her so upset, but the idea of hurting them without meaning to is horrible, because she has already hurt them so much, by bringing them to tears and taking their blood over and over, and now that she knows she loves them, it’s even more painful. Their arms come around her, too, hugging back.

“It was just an accident,” they say, rocking side to side in a soothing manner, “Don’t worry about it. I’ve hurt myself worse by accidentally biting my tongue, and that is a true pain like no other.” 

She can’t help it, a short laugh escapes her as they joke, and again they make her feel better so damn easily with their humor.

“And are you sure you’re okay? You took most of the fall,” they continue, but she barely cares about herself at this moment. At most she has a light bruise that will be gone in the next two seconds. Already the ache is fading away.

“I am fine,” she says, pulling back to look at them fondly, “love.”

“Oh, really,” Weiren says, “that was supposed to be what I call you, but you’re already doing it more than me. _My love._ ”

“Shall I call you something else?” She asks in amusement, loving this little interaction that feels so mundane, like a real interaction that a _real_ couple might have.

“I don’t know,” Weiren answers, “I’m sure you could call me whatever you wanted.”

“Hmm,” she says, thinking, “My sunflower, Weiren.”

“Oh, gods,” Weiren breathes, a blush on their cheeks, “that’s… um…”

“Love, sun, flower, sunflower, bloom, there surely are many options, aren’t there?” She muses, pleased by their slight fluster.

“How about my sweet? Since you love cakes so much nowadays,” Weiren teases, prompting Vicouryn herself to barely blush. Okay, yea, maybe she has been indulging in that new delight more frequently.

“I will… think on all the options,” she says, “but you should keep calling me love, since it is the truth.”

“Of course, my sweet love,” Weiren returns with a playful smile, and she rolls her eyes as her heart jumps, and then she kisses them again. Sweet love… well, the love has felt so wonderfully sweet, she won’t lie. Not to mention the slight flavor of Weiren’s blood sweetens the kiss even further. They’re the sweetest person in the world, and that is no exaggeration. She loves them, after all.

They break apart after a bit, gazing at each other.

“I love you,” Weiren says happily, those wonderful words she seeks so frequently.

“I thank you,” Vicouryn returns, “love.” That’s as close as she can get without saying the phrase back.

 _I love you, too_. 

Weiren smiles and tightens their hug, squeezing her affectionately, somehow happy with the way her dark voice says that gentle word even though it must sound wrong coming from her. Finally, they let go and she stands, extending a helping hand down to them.

“I brought some wine,” she informs, “so that we may have a fun night.”

“Exciting,” Weiren agrees as she pulls them back to their feet, but she pulls them up with enough force to make them stumble into her arms. They fall willingly into that brief grasp, laughing against her in that wonderful, warm voice of theirs, and then suddenly they’re wrapping arms around her waist and her feet leave the ground in an unexpected motion, Weiren returning the favor of their playful motions and this is so stupid and silly but it’s so _fun_ , and she’s laughing as the paladin tries to keep balance. 

“How forward,” she comments as they take a step back, struggling to stay upright not because they’re weak but because the motions have them leaning too far in one direction. She knows so easily that this never would have happened before, but the two have grown so close over this month, Weiren becoming bolder and Vicouryn more affectionate in a way that makes their interactions so delightful and fun. She allows them to do so much more, and she feels she would have hated these things back then but there’s something about the back-and-forth exchange between them that sparks so much more joy. She has never let people hold her like this before, but in their arms it is a blessing. Who knew letting someone so close could be so _good?_

“You deserve to be carried, too,” They say as they shuffle towards the chaise lounge as best as they can, and then the two of them are falling onto the cushions, laughing as they tumble down, and gods her heart feels as light as a feather. This must be what it feels like to be around those who love you and care about you, she thinks, _truly_ care about her and show it, and they are so kind and warm and they are like family to her, like _home_ , more than anyone else ever in her entire life, in her centuries of cold solitude even when she had her vampiric family members alongside her.

Her family members that left her here, alone. Alone with the burden of a dark and cursed kingdom weighing heavily on her shoulders, while they all went elsewhere, somewhere far, far away.

“Vicouryn?” Weiren says hesitantly, a warm hand on her shoulder as her thoughts falter. “Are you alright?”

She’s fallen silent, she realizes, and she looks at them, her mouth pressed in a line as she wonders what to say, how to start a conversation like this as they lie in a messy heap on the chaise lounge. Her worries return, those worries of Mevaden slipping out of her hands, those worries of her family finding out, those worries of whatever will happen to Weiren during all of this. Gods, what if her father returned to check in and found out about _them?_ Found out that she’s fallen in love with a holy paladin among everyone else and would choose them over her kingdom?

“Are you hurt?” No, she shakes her head. “Is something on your mind?” Yes, they are getting closer, and she nods. “Do you want to talk about it?” They ask gently, brushing a hand along her hair, and she bites her lip as subtly as she can, and then inclines her head once. She searches for their other hand so she can hold it, threading their fingers together. There’s a moment as they look at her thoughtfully, no doubt trying to figure out what the issue might be despite her fearing saying it aloud herself. Asking is too much, asking for help is hard, she doesn’t know how to do it, and now she’s suddenly fearful and wants to step back.

“My apologies,” she says quickly, glancing away as she backpedals, “Forget that. We are supposed to share in drink.”

“Hey,” Weiren returns in a comforting tone, holding her cheek though not making her look at them unlike what she so frequently does to them, “no reason we can’t do both, right?”

“No, I- I… it is not necessary,” the queen says, adrenaline flicking through her veins even if she doesn’t want it to, gods why is it always so hard? She hates sounding like this, stammering like she doesn’t know what she is supposed to say.

“Are you sure?” Weiren presses, concern in their face, “If something’s bothering you, it always helps to talk about it.”

“Perhaps,” she returns uncomfortably, but she _should_ , she _knows_ that she should try to talk to them, should try to be open, because she _loves_ them and she should _trust_ them in the way they do her. “It… it is difficult.”

How embarrassing, how _shameful_ that she can’t even do this. She’s disappointed in herself.

“It is,” they agree, “I had so much trouble with it until you helped me.”

She looks back at them, eyes widening. It’s true, isn’t it? They opened up to her because she asked them to, because she encouraged them and took care of them. If what she is feeling is love, then no doubt Weiren is feeling similarly, feeling like they want to ease _her_ troubles, but that is such a strange thought to her. As good as Weiren is at dealing with their emotions they needed her help, too.

“I’ll always be grateful to you for that,” they say earnestly, “but I understand how hard it is to confide. If you want, I can try to help start.”

Always they talk in such a way that doesn’t shame her, in a way that is gentle and encouraging.

“I… would not mind,” she finally says, weighing those words, and they send her a small smile.

“And if you want we could have some wine first,” they suggest, “it might help.”

Hmm, true, that is kind of what her secret intention was, but on second thought she doesn’t want to have to rely on that to talk to them. She doesn’t want to tie alcohol together with emotional vulnerability in that way. Besides, it would require Weiren to get drunk first, and though it might be less embarrassing if they’re inebriated, it is more appropriate if they’re sober.

“No,” she says, firmly, “we can drink later.”

“Alright.” Weiren nods, squeezing her hand.

She regards them as they both fall silent for a second, hoping, praying.

“I… I heard about what the nobles are saying,” Weiren says, “It must be a lot to deal with.”

Her eyes close as she exhales. Yes, _yes,_ they’ve intuited another one of her problems. Reminded by that, her thoughts darken. But it’s true, though, those uncooperative nobles and their frivolous _talk_ is putting Mevaden at risk.

“Yes,” she says, finally, “it is unfortunate.”

“You’ve only been queen for a few years,” Weiren says, “Is this something the nobles have talked about before?”

“Yes. Even when my father was king there were those who thought we should progress past our monarchy,” she says, “He ruled for many decades and a few were upset with that lengthy reign.”

“How long are you expected to rule? As long as him?” They ask curiously, but the question makes her frown.

“Long enough,” she says, “Mevaden is _mine_ . I am to rule until I have an heir. My _family_ is to rule, for it is _our_ kingdom.”

“Oh, I see,” Weiren says, no doubt contemplating the implications of Vicouryn having an heir. There’s a brief pause, and then, “Pardon if this is an insensitive question… but, um, I don’t believe I’ve met anyone related to you. Where is the rest of your family?”

She narrows her eyes.

Where, indeed. Where are those from which the bloodline originated? Where are those who trained her, who trained alongside her? 

_Where_ is her family?

“I am the only one left in this city,” she says, voice devoid of any emotion. There’s something bitter, she thinks, something bitter inside. “Therefore, following the end of my father’s reign, I am the only one able to carry on my family’s legacy.”

Yes, everyone else left, and she has been alone since taking the throne. She is the only one able to wear the crown, and so she must reign. She must reign, and protect this city that her family for so long ruled.

It is all she has left of them.

“Oh, no,” Weiren says, their hand gently squeezing her arm, “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

They think they’ve all died, somehow. No, it is not like that.

“It is not as tragic as you are thinking. They, along with my father, left to spread our influence elsewhere,” she appends, “Mevaden is just one city, and though we may be in an alliance with Doluum, my family wanted to expand further. I was given the important task of upholding our name here, so it is imperative that I remain in power.”

“Ah,” Weiren says, “I understand.”

Yes, her father left her behind in order to find something else. He ended his reign earlier than expected but gave her the important job of continuing to rule in his stead. That was what she trained for her whole life, of course.

He left her, and he left her this kingdom. This dark kingdom of a dangerous history, and she is to bear its burden stoically and regally until it is time to pass it onto her heir. That is why she exists.

“This is why the nobles’ talk is so irritating. They do not understand how much I have done for this kingdom,” she says, curling her free hand into a loose fist. “They do not understand how much my _family_ has done. We have taken good care of it for years, for decades, _centuries._ ”

Yes, her family that ruled this place, and then abandoned it, leaving behind just one to take care of it. 

Alone.

Oh, maybe she should pour drinks now. She’s got enough out sober that she won’t feel so bad getting drunk.

“What will you do about it?” Weiren asks.

She will have to talk to them all, surely she will, but it will certainly wear her patience down to threads.

“I will handle it,” she says stiffly. She will handle it as she handles everything, as she handles Mevaden. Then she sighs. “Perhaps if my father was still here he would have his own ideas on what to do.”

“Do you miss him?”

Vicouryn turns to stare at Weiren incredulously. Does she miss her father? Does she miss that man? The man who trained her and taught her everything she knows, the man for whom she did everything perfectly in order to make him proud? The man who was supposed to help her rule but then turned tail and left? Queen Vicouryn _respects_ him and his power. She appreciates the knowledge he has passed on. He has done quite a lot of Mevaden; she cannot deny his contributions. But does she miss him? 

“Sorry, it’s just… the way you talked about him and the rest of your family, I don’t know...” the paladin appends, backtracking, “I guess it’s a stupid question.”

“It is not,” she returns, closing her eyes, “I did miss him at first, but no longer.” She hopes, because beyond missing him there is a bitterness when she thinks of him, but it isn’t right for her to feel that, is it?

“Are they going to come back?” Weiren asks carefully, and she fixes them with another look. For creatures like her who live for centuries, for eternity, who can say when they will ever come back, if they ever do such a thing? It hasn’t been that long but being left behind in solitude has a way with stretching the time.

She doesn’t answer. What will Weiren think of her if they learn she is someone who was forced to bear a burden no one else wanted, and then left behind? 

There’s a shift as the paladin sits up and places their other hand around their already entwined ones, and then a moment as they inhale deeply.

“I never knew my father,” they say, matching her impassive gaze, “It’s not quite the same, but he left, too.”

Vicouryn lets out a breath. She should be furious at the implication that she was abandoned, but it is an implication she already knows. It is something she has thought about enough to no longer be hurt by it, she thinks. Mostly.

“I thought your parents had passed,” she says, intrigued by this information.

“My mother did,” they reply, nodding, “but my father left her before I was born. He left her alone.”

She stares. Both of their fathers had just up and left them? Theirs to avoid dealing with a child, and hers to avoid dealing with a cursed kingdom? Their father left them with nothing and hers left her with a huge responsibility.

“I… see,” she finally says, squeezing their hand, “Thank you for telling me.” Somehow knowing this makes her feel… she isn’t sure how to describe it, but the relation of their two situations helps.

“No offense, but your dad seems uncool,” Weiren adds, and she snorts, not expecting that comment, “But I suppose that might just be a dad thing.”

“He was supposed to stay here,” she says, pulling away from Weiren to open the wine bottle, “But my family has been thinning over time. More and more they went elsewhere, and now I am all that is left.” A sigh, and then a swig, and she simply drinks from the bottle and passes it to Weiren. Unfortunately she will have to wait to get inebriated until Weiren is already there, but ah well. The paladin takes a hearty drink, too and then holds it in their lap as they lean against her shoulder.

“They left behind my favorite person,” Weiren says, “Pretty stupid move on their part.” She chuckles, reaching an arm around them.

“It isn’t all bad,” Vicouryn notes, “Had I left as well I would not have met you.”

She does know that Weiren is the silver lining.

“I suppose though, I was very jealous of my father. I don’t know how he subsists without the Blood Vow. I always thought I was chained to Mevaden, I always thought we all were, but somehow everyone else has gone. After he left I was the only one who could take the crown, so I took it. It’s what I spent my whole life training for.” Vicouryn looks down at her hand in her lap, frowning. Now that the conversation has been going, it’s been easier to talk, but the topic is… uncomfortable still. “Mevaden is my pride, but I fear… that I am locked to it in a way that is not easy to break.”

Mevaden is her pride, and her prison. Without her the kingdom will crumble, and her family’s legacy will end.

“I haven’t… I’ve never told this to anyone,” she says, glancing down at them. How curious that they can bring out these deep-seated thoughts of hers, and it hasn’t been as earth-shatteringly painful as she was thinking it might have been.

“Well… I appreciate that you’re telling me,” Weiren returns, pressing their head against her, “I will listen as long as you need. But why are you locked to it? You couldn’t just leave, too?” They take another drink.

She laughs. As if she could _leave_. Even if the monarchy ends she will still be here, still leading and partaking from the Blood Vow.

“I am a vampire,” she says, “And I subsist with the Blood Vow. This kingdom is all I have left of my family, and I must uphold it for them. Besides, I have never been anything other than an heir and a queen.”

“You don’t need the Blood Vow anymore.” There’s a firmness to Weiren’s tone as she sends them another curious glance, and then they’re looking at her in a way that surprises her. “I’m stronger now, my blood is stronger, and I offer my blood to you. You don’t need the Blood Vow anymore.”

It’s like the breath escapes her as she regards them, their words creating a crack in the chains that bind her, chains she isn’t sure she wants to break, because what else is she without them? Mevaden is her everything.

But gods, hasn’t Weiren become so incredibly important to her, too?

“I couldn’t leave Mevaden,” she says, “Mevaden is everything I am. I am its queen, and nothing more.” She’s resigned to that identity, because she has never had anything else. Her whole life has been spent _for_ Mevaden. She couldn’t _really_ leave. That's unthinkable. It’s impossible. 

“That’s not true.” Weiren shakes their head. “You’re Vicouryn, though no one knows your first name. You’re a woman with eloquence and elegance and an impressive taste. You’re intelligent and fearless and also wonderful and kind. You have the capability to be both gentle and firm. You don’t like food but you like sweets and drinking wine. And beyond that, you’re the one that I _love_ . You’re the one that holds me and kisses me and makes me _happy_. You are more than just the leader of this kingdom.”

She’s speechless.

These words are so _strange._ Her whole life she has been told her purpose was to become queen and rule Mevaden until her heir could then inherit the throne. She was told this, and then she was left alone to fulfill that role on her own, and that is all she has been doing.

And yet Mevaden is slipping from her grasp in this way, and they are offering their blood as an alternative to the Blood Vow, and that is so much, so _impossible_.

“I’ve spent my entire life preparing to rule Mevaden,” she says, “Hundreds of years. It is all I have ever done.”

Weiren grabs her hand, gazing up at her with those warm eyes.

“You still have so much time left,” they return, “You don’t have to dedicate it all to Mevaden.”

Gods, that’s true, isn’t it? She has centuries left in her life, she has an _eternity_ left, and yet she can barely imagine anything but her atop the throne in her manor castle of Mevaden. Weiren sips again, drinking down that red wine.

“No,” she says, shaking her head, feeling thrown, “No, I don’t… I don’t even know what else I would do.”

“We’ll figure that out,” Weiren says, holding her tightly, “The future is not set in stone; there is so much more out there for you, and we’ll find that out _together_.” Oh, those were her words, but in their voice, and _fuck_ it’s so true. She has so little knowledge of the world out there, so little beyond her history books and what she’s been told. “You won’t be tied down to the Blood Vow, because I _give_ you my blood, you can take it when you need.”

Oh, gods. And she cannot deny that either; their blood is strong and potent, so much more than before that it isn’t unfathomable that she could subsist off their blood and her control alone. They recover so quickly and she can last for quite awhile on a single sip, and really this is something she can imagine, and yet it’s so crazy.

Weiren hangs onto her, their arms wrapped around her so tightly as they give her this sentiment, their comfort and their love, and there’s a stinging in her eyes, a stinging that burns because this situation seems so impossible, and yet she can see the possibilities, and maybe it really is something that can happen, but gods does she even deserve it? 

The tears spill, and she cannot stop them as she imagines a life in which she can be with them and not be a queen, in which she is not burdened with a leadership she cannot decline, in which she can hold them and profess her love for them as they do for her, and it is overwhelming. It feels like more than she deserves, but also she has done her job so well for these years already, so doesn’t she deserve a break?

Isn’t it what Weiren deserves? A life with the one they love without the strings and secrets of queendom? Her arms return the embrace as she trembles, unsure how to accept this sentiment, because it is so much for her and yet she wants to accept it so bad; she wants to spend the rest of her life with _them_ and make them blissfully happy for as long as she lives.

Despite everything, she still… she still treasures Mevaden. Having been raised in it her whole life, it being all she has left of her family, she cannot help but want to hang onto these familiar chains. She is a very good leader and she has enjoyed reigning control over it and fostering its growth.

“I’ll… I will have to see what happens,” she says, finally, unable to commit to anything yet, because this is so much and she cannot handle it entirely on her own, but gods they are so warm against her, so kind and so considerate that the tears roll down her cheeks and she cannot stop them. Weiren holds her even closer, enveloping her in that unyielding warmth and love.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll help. As long as I’m here I want to help you,” Weiren professes, “I _love_ you, so much, beyond anything I’ve ever known, and I _know_ that there is more to you than this kingdom. There is so much more out there for you to experience, to see and to love, and I want you to experience it all.”

She doesn’t have words to return, only a squeeze. Her arms wrap around them so tightly, the salty tears spilling in a way she cannot stop, but it feels cathartic somehow, and she hangs onto her paladin, her paladin that loves her, her paladin that she loves.

“Thank you,” she finally says, voice quiet and worn from wrestling with emotion, and she wants nothing more to stay in their embrace, letting their words swirl in her head as she considers them, because those futures should be so unthinkable, and yet somehow she can think them up. With a sleeve she wipes at the remnants on the tears on her cheeks.

“Of course,” Weiren returns, their arms so warm around her, and it’s amazing.

She isn’t sure she believes their words, not yet, but gods she can sink into their embrace, sink into their hold of love, wrap herself in a sea of their affection and bask.

“You’re my love, my light in the dark, and I’ll do anything to help you,” they say, pressing drunken kisses to her cheek, “Gods, I _love_ you.”

They’re calling her their _light_ which makes no sense, for they are the sun and she a shadow, but for some reason she likes that even if it’s strange. She has never thought of herself like that but if Weiren wants to view her as such maybe she can entertain that thought a little more. 

“I would say _you_ are my light,” she returns, “My sunflower, perhaps.” Vicouryn takes the bottle of wine and sips it before setting it on the table so that she can kiss Weiren down until she’s on top of them. “If you want to do things for me, just write those letters you’ve promised. I will want to hear from you.”

“I will. I’ll write letters and bring things back for you,” they say, looping their arms under hers to settle on her back.

“Yes,” she agrees, “do so, for your letters are _gifts_ , and I will await each one eagerly.” Ah, right, gifts! She sits back, straddling their pelvis. “Speaking of which, I have something for you,” she says, “your hand, Weiren.”

Weiren reaches up to her with a curious expression, a slight red dusted on their cheeks from the wine, and she takes it into her hand, curling her fingers around theirs as she lifts it closer to her. Then, with her other she reaches into a pocket and draws out something metallic.

“No one can deny your strength,” she starts, tracing her finger around the trinket, “but there are many dangers out in the world, and I am certain you will face foes of great power.” Vicouryn holds up the ring so that Weiren can see it, the silver band with a myriad of gems embedded into the inner circle, leaving the outer surface plain and simple. She knows they don’t want to be wearing things too jewelled or too elaborate, but the gems are a necessity for the enchantment, and so she requested they be obscured, and they’ve been smoothed down to follow perfectly the curve of the ring, meaning Weiren won’t even be able to feel them. “This will offer a bit of protection, for I want to make sure you will be safe.” With her hand she slides it onto their ring finger and then holds their hand with both of hers. “You are very important to me, Weiren, but I cannot help you when you are out in the world, so _accept_ this gift from me. Please. Take it.”

She does not normally plead, but she knows Weiren is resistant to gifts, and this one they _must_ take, because that is all she can do to protect them when they are away. She’d offer them some of her blood to give them brief strength in a time of need, but such a thing could influence their feelings in a way they could not control because they are not a vampire like her, and she would never want to do that to them. The paladin gazes up at her, and then with their other hand they reach to her face, holding her cheek. For a second she wonders what they’re thinking, if they can tell this act is because of how much she loves them, because of how she can’t bear the thought of losing them while they are away from her.

“Alright,” they say, “I will, thank you.”

Vicouryn lets out a breath of relief.

“But you need to make sure you stay safe, too,” Weiren adds, and she smiles.

“Of course,” she returns, “I always do.”

There’s a second as Weiren pulls their hand away so they can take a closer look at the ring, flexing their fingers, before sitting up to meet her in another hug, their face pressed to her chest as she holds them.

“I love you,” they murmur against her, “and this wine won’t stay in my blood forever, so you may as well take a sip now.”

She laughs, delighted.

“Yes, of course,” she returns, squeezing them tightly before pulling away. With gentle fingers she undoes the buttons at their collar, all the while Weiren looking down to watch, a smile on their face, a smile she loves to see. Carefully she pulls the collar open, baring their skin, that wonderful skin of theirs. She wants to make this one feel as good as possible, she wants them to feel nothing but pleasure. In a way she wants to try to convey her love in the way she touches them, because she isn’t ready to say it aloud, but at least she can do this. 

She slides a hand to the back of their head and tilts it to the side, her fingers tangling in their hair as her other hand drags their shirt down their shoulder, exposing even more flesh. Vicouryn will take her time to ensure they feel wonderful, and she begins with trailing the softest touches across them, exhaling to let her breath come against them. There’s enough marks for now, so instead of leaving behind her claim on them she will simply tend to them with care. For a few minutes she kisses them, drifting her lips on their skin leisurely, thinking about how much she loves them. The kisses run up from shoulder to neck to their face, but not to their mouth, and then back down to the other side of their neck. She lets her hands drift, too, gliding down locks and caressing their body. 

Another minute, and then as carefully as she can she sinks her teeth into the side of their neck. Weiren lets out a small sound of pleasure as their body relaxes in her grasp, and she supports them tenderly. She drinks mindfully, and when she pulls her fangs free she presses them back down to a prone position, her hand tucking under their waist and her other gripping their neck, and then she begins to tend to the wound. Weiren gasps as she presses her tongue to their neck and licks up the trickling blood, and those sounds are so sweet to her ears, just as sweet as their blood on her tongue.

 _I love you,_ she thinks, licking up to their ear before pressing a kiss to their earlobe, _gods_ , _I love you_. Slowly the slight fog of alcohol encroaches on her senses, just a bit, so that the both of them are mildly inebriated, and it just makes her want to keep touching them like this, keep stroking them so sensually and gently because they deserve that from her. 

“Mm,” Weiren breathes as she continues to lick stripe after stripe up their neck, transitioning between each one with kisses that slowly become more forceful. Her arm around their waist pulls them closer to her, so that their back is arched further, increasing the angle of their neck, and she continues to run her mouth along them, pleasuring them in this wonderful way. A few minutes later and she undoes more of the buttons of this dress, opening up more of their chest, and she trails those kisses down to their pectorals, still not marking them but simply stroking them, and their breaths get shallower as her lips find their nipple. 

“You’re wonderful,” she murmurs, gusting her breath across their sensitive skin, and they arch further as she stimulates them, “I am fortunate to be able to do this for you.”

“Ah- thank you,” Weiren returns, “I think- I think you’re incredible, too. Thank you- ah! Thank you so much. I love you.”

The heat on her cheeks increases, and not just due to the alcohol. There’s a warmth in her chest, a wonderful warmth inside her because they love her, and she loves them too, and it’s unlike anything else she’s ever felt. 

“Weiren,” she says, rising from their chest to gaze at them, eyes lidded as her heart swells. Their hand rises to gently touch her cheek, and she relishes in that tender sensation, her eyes briefly closing, her shoulders sinking in relief. Gods, she loves them.

“Vicouryn,” they say back, their head tilted as they smile so loosely at her, and then the both of them are closing that distance to let their lips meet. There’s the faint taste of wine in this kiss, and it is a long one, but she doesn’t quite kiss them to breathlessness. It certainly is one of her favorite things to do but tonight she wants to treat them gently, she wants to shower them with more love and care than ever before. She’s dominated them quite a lot already and while it is fun there is something quite exquisite about this gentle touch as well, this kind of intimacy where there are no bindings or control, just her love swirling in her chest as she kisses them, as they kiss her back. 

With the deepening kisses, both her and their hands begin to move, running up and down each other’s body, the intimacy heating further with their motions and the added influence of alcohol. How is it that every single moment with Weiren feels this good? She finds joy in sitting with them, in reading with them, in being beside them, in touching them, gods, _anything_ with them somehow is so much more wonderful simply by the fact that they are there as well. 

Obstructed by the clothing, she undoes the rest of Weiren’s buttons and they shrug off the sleeves of their dress, the cloth bunching around their waist but that’s fine, their chest is out and that’s what matters to her, and then it’s her turn. Vicouryn sits up to pull her dress off, and Weiren’s there helping her all the way, their hands running up her thighs to find the bottom of her skirt and drag it up and off her arms. The paladin drapes it along the back of the chaise lounge, and then Vicouryn returns to kissing them, impatient with the interruption, and they sink into her kiss so easily.

“Ah-” they moan into the kiss as she settles down, straddling their hips in a way that must be stimulating them further. She reaches into their mouth with her tongue, the both of them kissing each other so deeply, and then she pulls back, her hand cupping their face.

“Weiren,” she says, breathing, “tell me what _you_ want tonight. What do you want us to do?”

“I want to keep kissing,” Weiren answers, seemingly a little downcast that she broke away and looking at her lips needily, and she smiles. 

“And?” She continues. “So frequently we end up doing what _I_ want, so tonight I want the intimacy to go however you want. But if you only want to kiss, we may keep with that.”

“Oh,” they say, blinking, their face reddening further as they glance down to where she sits atop them, “Um. I don’t know, I’m fine with anything.”

“Come, Weiren,” she returns, “I know you are open to much, but surely there is something you like more than others? Is there anything you want to do in particular?” Her hand drifts down their stomach to their hips. “I could take you from within, I could take you inside me, I could use my mouth, or you could use yours. We could go gentle or rough. If you wanted I could bind you again, but it is not necessary. And…” she pauses for a moment, thinking on her words, “If you were interested, you could be on top. I want to know what _you_ want.”

Their face only gets darker as she speaks, which she supposes makes sense. They aren’t as accustomed to being the one to make the decisions in this matter, but they seem to be thinking it over. 

“I… didn’t think that last one was an option,” Weiren finally says, “But if we ever did that I’d want to be sober and make sure everything was comfortable for you.”

“Of course,” she returns. She isn’t sure she would have offered that if she was sober, not yet at least, but it has been something she’s thought of, allowing Weiren a bit more control over the situation. Though she enjoys wielding her control, again there’s something about giving Weiren more agency that makes her feel like the relationship is more balanced in the intimacy, because again nearly all the time it is about her doing what she wants to them, and it would be nice to focus on their agency if there was anything they wanted to do. She wants to be more mindful of them and what they may desire beyond being receptive to hers.

They bite their lip again, leaning into her hand.

“I like when you take me,” they admit, blushing, “the most. Again, I just, really like your control. I do like being tied up… but I also like being able to touch back sometimes. Hmm… well… both gentle and rough is nice, I don’t know…”

It’s amusing to watch them ramble in their flustered fashion, though they are trying their best to answer her. 

“We have many hours ahead of us, Weiren,” Vicouryn says when they pause, their lips pressed together. “How about we move to the bed, and I will get the things from the dresser, and we will move on from there? If you aren’t sure perhaps we can start one way and end another.”

“Ok, yea, that sounds good,” Weiren agrees, nodding, and the two make their move. The paladin removes the rest of their clothes while Vicouryn heads over to the dresser, drawing out the harness. Yes, she has multiple, because why not? She grabs a couple of the lengths, some rope and the blindfold just in case they want to use them. Heading back to the bed Weiren is sitting on the edge pensively, looking a little thrown still by her question.

“You do not have to worry so much, Weiren. I know you do not usually like to make the decisions for our intimacy,” she assures as she sets the things down beside them. 

“I know,” they return, “I appreciate you asking though. i get what you mean, about it usually being what you want. It’s just, everything I’ve ever done has been with you, and I’ve liked all of it so much. I like making you happy, and it makes me happy, too.” Their face is still flush from alcohol as they speak, their hands clasped together. Vicouryn’s face softens as she sets a hand on their shoulder.

“How sweet,” she comments, gazing down at them as they look up at her.

“You just make me that happy so much,” they say, “I love you.”

“You… lift my spirits equally,” she returns carefully, her heart leaping in her chest, “Would you prefer if I dictate what happens then?”

“Oh, um, mostly, but I think I have a few requests,” they confess, and she watches, interested to hear them. “I changed myself since earlier and I was wondering if you could… take both places at the same time?” Their words get faster as they speak. “And I want you to hold me down but with your hands, not the rope this time.”

Oh, how delicious.

“Yes, of course, all of that will be arranged,” she says with a smile, “Anything else?”

They glance down for a second, still flustered.

“I really like when you keep going even when I’m too tired to do much back,” they say softly, blushing so furiously, “I know you’re always gentle by that point but I wouldn’t mind seeing how I feel if you’re still going rough by then.” She slides her hand up to cup their face.

“I quite enjoy that as well.” She strokes her thumb along their cheekbone, very pleased, “Yes, we may try that out. If you don’t enjoy it then tell me.”

“I also want to give you pleasure tonight. Maybe we can do it for each other at the same time? While you’re preparing me I could give you pleasure, too,” they suggest next, and she nods thoughtfully. They’ve always been adamant about pleasuring her as well. “And um… you can pull my hair and bite me some more. I guess there shouldn’t be any more draining but, um, I really like… your bites.”

Gods, she is enjoying hearing them saying all this so, so much.

“I am curious to know why you like them so,” she says, a little teasingly, “does it truly feel that pleasurable?”

“I mean, kind of? And, well… it’s your mark… you know… y-your _claim_ ,” they answer, a little nervously but still up to replying honestly.

“You already wear your hair down for me and those clothes I’ve had made for you, not to mention that scarf,” she notes, “those are _all_ my claim on you.”

Weiren smiles, looking down.

“I like all of that, a lot. They’re all reminders of you, and I want lots for when I have to go, but unfortunately it won’t be smart to bring those clothes with me. I don’t want to ruin them on the road,” they say, leaning into her hand.

“Oh,” Vicouryn muses, “you want more claims that you can take with you without fear of losing them.”

Weiren nods shyly against her hand.

“The bites won’t last that long,” she says, her hand drifting down to their neck, “A trinket would be better. Perhaps something like the ring. A bracelet? A necklace? An earring?”

Weiren coughs.

“Oh, I thought it could be nice if we, um, had something… matching?” They suggest, blushing so furiously she wonders if they might just up and faint. “Only if you would want to, of course. I’d understand if you wouldn’t want that.”

Oh, Weiren. Sweet, adorable Weiren. Of course they would suggest something like this, something that should fluster _her_ , this silly little idea that also seems so wonderful. What if they did have matching trinkets? A pair for the both of them, symbolizing their connection to one other?

“Certainly,” she returns, her face warm, “Before you leave, we will obtain something of that nature.”

Weiren looks a little surprised, but delighted by her response.

“I-if I’m your sunflower, maybe you could be a moonflower?” They suggest, “A sunflower for you, a moonflower for me?” The idea sounds so frivolous but so wonderful and oh gods she wants that, she wants this for them. A sunflower, one to represent them, for _her_. 

“That is perfect,” she agrees, “For you are indeed my sunflower, love.”

Weiren grins up at her, their eyes full of affection, and they tilt their head up to meet her in a kiss.

Gods, they are wonderful, and this night will be a blissful one, and she will love them throughout all of the hours in all the ways that they desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates might slow bc i ran out of backlog complete chapters and ive lost my feral writing energy that made me shit out 200k in like 2 months or whatever


	9. Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiren departs, and Vicouryn is left to figure out how to proceed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my og plan was for two more chapters and then an epilogue but idk how thats gonna change cuz DAMN this is caught up with all i have currently written. viccy actually originally was supposed 2 realize her feelings after weiren left but things changed as i wrote so who knows what will happpen next ....  
> ALSO  
> no sexy time tags sorry :(  
> i am considering writing a collection of short scenes after i finish this bc i am gay but idk for sure  
> (also check lemonweiwen twitter for spicy art ive put up more stuff just sayinggngngng)

She can’t rest. Not like this. Her bed is empty and cold, and she hasn’t slept here in over a month.

Vicouryn slides out of bed and pulls a shawl around her shoulders as she steps into a pair of slippers. Of course this would happen, she thinks, of course she would have trouble meditating here. Quietly she retrieves the folded parchment from her nightstand and exits the room. She does not travel far, only down the hall to Weiren’s chambers, but Weiren will not be inside, she knows. 

She shuts the door behind her and sighs, gazing around at the darkened room. Being here is nice, but it is empty, so it is equally saddening. 

With a careful hand she places the parchment down on the table and makes her way to the bed, the bed on which she and Weiren rested together almost every single night for the past month. She sits, slowly, on the side Weiren was usually on, and then lays her head down, pressing her face into the pillow. An inhale, and there they are, that scent of them embedded in these sheets, and her shoulders sink. 

Gods, it hasn’t even been a full day, and already she misses them so much. Nearly every night she spent with them, and now what is she to do without them? What is she supposed to do in these hours if not pull them into her arms and press kisses to their skin? She wraps her arms around the pillow, holding it close though it is a sad substitution for her paladin. It lacks their warmth and life, but at least it fills that space against her chest.

This must be what Weiren felt when they left Gedal, having confessed their love and then needing to depart right after. But they didn’t even have a date or time to know they would meet again. Weiren had come to terms with their feelings, gave them to her, and then spent the next _year_ and then some without her, not knowing if they would even see her again. Surely Vicouryn can handle these next few months, because she knows they are planning on returning, and she knows _when_. She has a clear idea of when Weiren will be back here in Mevaden.

And  _ yet  _ she is already struggling. She curls up on the bed, squeezing the pillow tighter in dissatisfaction. How silly that she was so stuck on the idea of her being the one to affect Weiren instead of the other way around, because she feels as if she can barely handle their absence right now. That’s what she gets for falling in love, she thinks. That’s the price to pay.

But now she has time. Now that she isn’t spending all her free time with Weiren, she does have the opportunity to figure out what to do, to figure out what to do with Mevaden and her feelings. How will she continue to stay in power? Will she become a member of a council, or will she still be a higher level than the nobles? She will need to talk to them all, to figure out a plan.

But more importantly, how will she prepare to return Weiren’s love? Where will she speak those words? What gifts will she prepare? Flowers? Chocolates? Trinkets? Is that what people do normally? She briefly recalls a few past experiences in which she was presented with bouquets and jewelry from a few, but she also remembers being unimpressed.

_ Well... _ Her hand reaches up to touch the silver sunflower at her throat. They’ve already gotten matching jewelry at their request. Would they want more?

Vicouryn is no romantic and she does not know what to do. Perhaps she’ll have to study some of these romance novels to figure it out. Gods, if Weiren was in her shoes they would know exactly what to do, because as far as she knows they  _ are  _ a romantic and maybe they don’t have that much real experience but they have read many, many books. They gifted her their love, a glass flower, and a touching letter that she will save for the rest of her life. On the other hand, Vicouryn does have her experience but usually it was other people courting her and doing things for  _ her _ , and so this is very unfamiliar to her, this desire of hers to do those “courting” things for  _ them _ .

Oh but flowers… they might be unhappy if they’re cut. Perhaps she could find exotic seeds somewhere? Oh, but don’t plants need to be in a suitable climate? Ugh, she doesn’t know enough. 

And Weiren said they didn’t like things that were too sweet. Maybe she could find some dark chocolates?

No, wait, she should obtain those lemon cookies! Hmm…

Gods, she has too much to think about.

***

Nahlia lays her hand against the door. Vicouryn is not her own room, so she is certain this must be where she is, where she has spent most of her nights in recent times. 

With a deep breath, she gently taps her knuckles on the door, though she assumes her queen is resting now. Or not. That’s why she’s here, after all.

She knows that Queen Vicouryn has come to treasure the paladin more than she can probably admit, and Nahlia is glad for that because the queen has kept her distance from  _ everyone  _ for as long as she knows. The aide has respected this choice, but she is so deeply relieved that Vicouryn now has someone closer to her, that she has someone to perhaps open up to. From what Weiren’s told her, she can infer that their relationship is quite intimate, though it is not as if they tell her that much. It was very interesting when the paladin took her aside after a meal and warned her to never let Vicouryn get into a hot bath; she can only imagine what happened.

Weiren becoming so close with Vicouryn is wonderful, but now the paladin is absent, and she does not know how the queen will cope, if she will cope at all. Nahlia doesn’t even know if the queen has come to terms with her feelings, and so it is possible she is forcing away all her emotions, or perhaps she may be…  _ wallowing _ . Nahlia wants to make sure that Vicouryn gets adequate rest and takes care of herself even while her companion is gone. 

No response, so with a gentle hand she opens the door as quietly as she can manage and steps inside. The room is dark, but she has a candle holder at the ready and so she is able to see well enough. There’s a shape on the bed, and stepping closer reveals it to be none other than Queen Vicouryn, curled up with her arms wrapped around a pillow as she rests. Nahlia’s expression softens at the sight of her queen with a peaceful face, and she sets the candle down on the nightstand. It is a sight that few get to see: the powerful, stoic, and fearsome Queen of Mevaden sound asleep, her face relaxed and with a pillow held in her arms. 

Alright, spare blanket… spare blanket… oh! There’s a blanket left on the chaise lounge in the center of the suite. She heads over when a parchment on the table catches her attention.

What is this? 

Nahlia picks it up and unfolds it curiously.

_ My sweet love- _

_ Oh _ . 

Nahlia folds it again even if she is suddenly full of an overwhelming desire to read the entire thing, a faint heat coming to her cheeks. It wasn’t the queen’s handwriting, so it can only be a letter from Weiren, and this provides a bit more information as to the nature of their relationship. So the paladin is calling her their love… does Vicouryn reciprocate that? Nahlia has inferred that Weiren is deeply in love with her queen already, but Vicouryn is more difficult to read. She is pretty sure the queen loves them to an extent because she has literally never seen  _ anyone _ be treated like this by her. Not only does she spend her free time with them but she invited them to live in her manor in the room closest to her chambers. The queen certainly treats them with more favor, but again Nahlia  _ knows  _ her and her repression of emotions, and so it is difficult to ascertain how Vicouryn is handling her feelings.

But she  _ did  _ get to rest, which is good. Nahlia takes the spare blanket from the chaise lounge and drapes it over the queen as gently as she can. It is interesting that she went to bed this early; dawn hasn’t even hit yet but perhaps she no longer knows what to do with the time. Or maybe she was… wallowing until sleep simply seemed like the better option. Or trance; she still can’t really tell the difference.

The attendant sighs, gazing down at the queen. Today she’d had to run several errands that required her to be out and about, unfortunately, so she was unable to be by her queen while she was suffering Weiren’s absence. She was hoping to see how the queen was doing once her work finished but it seems she’s just gone to sleep so soon. Tomorrow, then, she will have to make sure to pay adequate attention and see if she can do anything for her. 

Hopefully the other attendants will do the same. They all can tell that the relationship between Weiren and their queen is atypical, though the paladin has deflected questions out of respect for Vicouryn’s privacy, and when Weiren isn’t there, there is a solid amount of gossip that goes around. When the Waywatcher first returned to Mevaden everyone was certain they were either the queen’s lover or her stress relief companion, perhaps even her  _ pet _ ; there was a lot of speculation on the possibilities though of course it’s been kept on the down low. Nahlia gets the most questions as the most trusted attendant but she herself doesn’t gossip a lot. Though, there are plenty of servants who do and she can’t help it if she overhears it. Nearly all the trusted staff knows that the paladin has their own room semi-permanently and has glimpsed Weiren visiting the study, so it is easy to make assumptions. They equally know that Vicouryn hasn’t even been resting in her own room.

And, well, that doesn’t even include the fact that Weiren suddenly started wearing Vicouryn-esque clothes she’d never seen before. That meant she had  _ Freya  _ make them clothes, and…  _ yes _ , the tailor did quietly report that she saw a bruise or two on Weiren’s neck while taking their measurements. Nahlia knows that Weiren is another source of blood for her queen, but those marks sounded more like love bites than just the remnants of a draining. Freya also let slip to her that some of those clothes were crafted for more intimate reasons, too. And not to mention the queen requested Nahlia’s assistance in finding a jeweler to craft a set of flower-themed necklaces, which is incredibly uncharacteristic for her.

But that hopefully means that the attendants will realize the queen will be glum without Weiren and be more at the ready to assist. Well, honestly, it’s already been glummer in general. Marion had to make do without Weiren’s assistance in the kitchen and Issiel had to tend to the gardens alone today. The librarian, too, had grown used to Weiren’s presence every so often, that paladin apparently very fond of reading and so found themself in the library quite frequently. Even the general staff of servants and attendants enjoyed sharing food with this outsider who had plenty of stories to share. Nahlia herself found meals to be more pleasant when Weiren was there, too.

For now, she has confirmed Vicouryn to be resting quietly, which is all she can do at the moment. Tomorrow she will return, probably before dawn, and see how the queen is faring then. With careful hands she adjusts the blanket to cover all of the queen's form; it’s chilly here in early spring and without the fireplace lit.

Then, finally, with a wistful glance, she turns to leave.

***

_ Not quite a trance, but almost a dream, Vicouryn is surrounded by memories and possibilities.  _

_ She’s in the study again, blood staining the floor, but it is just her and another elf in the dark room.  _

_ “If… if it would help, I would give some blood. If you would be willing to partake,” the paladin says thoughtfully. She looks at them, her hand pressed to the wounds on her chest. _

_ Yes, it is all thanks to this offer they made so long ago. _

_ “You would be... feeding an undead monster, paladin. You make interesting choices with your life,” she returns, sending them a gaze. _

_ “No,” Weiren says, stepping closer, “I would be helping the one that I love.” _

_ What if she could revisit the past with her current feelings? With their current feelings? This scene is so strange to see knowing what comes after.  _

_ The paladin places their hand over hers and draws her into an embrace, their body warm and comforting. She wishes she could go back and give them the care they truly deserved back then. She wishes she could stop herself from draining them that second time, from hurting them with her hunger. _

_ “Yes,” she echoes as they lean into her shoulder, “you love me.” _

_ “I do,” Weiren agrees, “Just as you love me, too.” _

_ Gods, what if she could have taken them right there? If she could have pulled them free from the Crystal Concord and kept them in Mevaden, kept them safe from Kandor, from the clutches of Brauven, from the Blood Knight? She could have taken them along with her to Gedal and then back to Mevaden and filled all of their hours with love and pleasure. _

_ She knows that never could have happened. Without those experiences, they would not have become as strong and as confident as they are now. They would not have become the person they are today. _

_ The room around her falls away, and the two of them are sitting in a gazebo, Weiren in one of those beautiful dresses as their hair spills around their shoulders. _

_ “Yes,” she repeats, tucking a moonflower behind their ear, “I love you, too.” _

_ Relief courses through her as the words finally come. She did it, she finally confessed her feelings. Thank the gods. Now she doesn’t have to think about it anymore, she doesn’t have to worry. _

_ “That makes me so happy,” Weiren says, tears brimming in their eyes as they smile, “thank you.” _

_ “As much as you are mine, I am equally yours,” she continues, “You have made me so unimaginably happy, and I will love you for eternity.” _

_ Vicouryn pulls her love closer and kisses them, holding them against her. Their hands come against her as they sink into her arms. Yes, they would be so happy, and then she’s pulling their neckline down, brushing her lips against their skin. _

_ “Take me,” the paladin says, “Me and my blood, it is all yours.” An encouraging hand sets on the back of her head, pushing her to lean more into their shoulder, and if they like being bit so much she will happily oblige them. An exhale, and then she bares her fangs and bites down, Weiren gasping in delight as she does so, and she drinks that delicious blood, only a bit, and then their intimacy continues, the gazebo fading into her personal chambers, where she makes sweet love to her paladin, the one that she loves so much. _

_ “I love you,” she breathes, reaching inside them, “I love you.” _

_ The sentiment continues to fall from her lips. She wants to make up for the time she held it back, for the time Weiren so openly gave her their love without proper reciprocation, and she repeats it over and over as she tends to them, taking care of them as they hang onto her, breathless and blushing. Gods, she can imagine their new future. Without her queendom in the way she will have more time to spend with them, and she will take them on those dates, on those adventures, and they will share these experiences together as she loves them the whole way. She will do anything and everything for them and they will be so delighted, so happy, and she, too, will be happy.  _

_ The two of them fall to the bed, entwined so intimately, so wonderfully, and gods, she has never felt joy like this before. _

“Love you,” she murmurs, hugging them so close to her, and as her eyes slowly open she sees she is curled up on a bed holding a pillow. 

_ Shit _ . She sits up, looking around.

Right, she went to Weiren’s room to rest, except they aren’t  _ here _ , and she is alone, and she never properly confessed her love, and it was all a stupid dream. She’d been too distracted to meditate and instead  _ slept. _

Gods be damned.  _ Fuck _ !

She shoves her face into the pillow, her cheeks burning at such an embarrassing dream, and she screams.

Gods…

Vicouryn gives herself a few moments to compose herself, sighing heavily as she drops the cushion back down onto the bed. Maybe waiting to confess until their return was the wrong choice, because even more than before her mind is completely full of thoughts of her paladin and how she is planning to give them her feelings. But would she have even been capable of saying the words aloud before they left? She isn’t sure.

Feeling frazzled, she drags herself from the bed and shuffles to the center of their room, towards the seats and table in front of the unlit fireplace, where Weiren’s first letter is awaiting her. She sinks into a chair and takes the paper in hand.

_ My sweet love, _

_ Good morning! I hope your rest was good. _

_ By now I am on my journey. I already miss you terribly (I’m missing you while I’m writing this, and I haven’t even gone yet!), and eagerly await my return so that I can see you again. When I come back I hope we can find some time to bake something together since we never got the chance to do so before I left. _

_ I’ve asked Issiel to take care of the moonflowers while I’m gone, so when summer comes we should still be able to see them. I’m very excited for that; we should go on lots of walks together! Do you remember our first walk in the garden? I told you I’d write lots of letters. Unfortunately, it’ll be a little difficult to send letters from where I’ll be training, so I decided to write a few extra in advance! I’m still going to write some and send them to you, but they’ll be fewer and farther in between than I would like, so if it’s been too long just check the top drawer of my desk.  _

_ I wish I had the same capabilities as Lynne. That way I’d be able to contact you everyday, but unfortunately that kind of magic is outside of my skills, so letters will have to suffice for now, and I will write as many as I can. _

_ I wish you luck on dealing with the nobles; I know whatever happens you’ll figure out what to do, and however you decide to proceed I will support you.  _

_ I love you with all my heart, _

_ Weiren _

Vicouryn presses her lips together as a heat comes to her cheeks. They are so,  _ so  _ sweet, and she’s embarrassed at the implication that she needs pre-written letters, but gods she is thankful for them. She’d waited impatiently to read this letter until the night and morning passed, since Weiren requested that of her, but getting to rest was harder than usual. 

She will keep this letter along with the first one. She will keep every single one of them so she can read them over and over again.

“I love you, too,” she whispers, gazing down at their handwriting, and  _ gods  _ even if no one is around she feels flustered saying it. She will have to practice so that she can keep her cool when the time to confess actually comes, but  _ again  _ hearing that kind of tender sentiment sounds so wrong coming from her. She frowns; why must her voice be so dark and emotionless? Vicouryn wants so badly to be able to profess her love in an eloquent matter but for the first time in her life she’s self-conscious of the way she sounds. It’s so stupid for her to feel this way; Weiren  _ loves  _ her and most likely they won’t care, but she can’t help it. Having these feelings and being full of this love is completely obliterating her sense of logic and she’s just full of anxiety instead. Her profession of love should be elegant and efficient, because she has  _ standards,  _ but her experience in such a thing is practically nonexistent, and she now isn’t sure she  _ can  _ profess it in the way Weiren deserves to hear it.

There’s a knock on the door and she jumps, nearly dropping the letter but she smooths her composure and makes her way to the door. It can only be one person, she knows, the person who knows how much time Vicouryn spends with a certain paladin. She opens it.

“My queen, good morning,” Nahlia says, dipping her head, “I did not find you in your chambers, so I came here instead. How was your night?”

“Good morning; it was as you might expect. Let us return to my chambers,” Vicouryn returns stoically, “I must prepare for the day.” She steps past Nahlia, giving her a nod, and the two head towards her usual chambers. Nahlia does not comment further on the queen being in Weiren’s room, thankfully, but that woman probably knows more than anyone else. The attendant is with her during most of her work hours everyday, and she keeps Vicouryn’s relationship with Weiren discreet. 

The queen sneaks a few glances towards the attendant as they walk down the hall. Maybe  _ she  _ has experience in love...

***

“Nahlia, what is your experience in the realm of courting?”

What?

“Pardon, my queen?” Nahlia turns to Vicouryn, who is currently seated at her desk in the study with a pensive expression, which is more of an expression than she usually wears.

“Have you ever courted someone?” the queen repeats, a hand pressed to her forehead as if asking this is painful to her. 

“I… yes, I have,” the attendant returns, coming closer to sit across the queen. Has she perhaps finally decided she wants to properly pursue Weiren? Though, it isn’t much of a pursuit considering how Nahlia is pretty sure Weiren is quite literally already willingly  _ there _ for the queen to take. She’s also pretty sure they were getting incredibly intimate every single night they were here. “Why?”

“With…  _ Weiren’s  _ absence, I have more free time to plan my actions,” she says, looking up to match Nahlia’s gaze, “As you know, I am a busy woman and do not care much for frivolous matters, and thus I am… unfortunately  _ lacking  _ experience in the courting department. In my time it has always been others seeking my attention, and never the other way around.  _ So _ , I am looking to you for  _ advice _ .”

Nahlia’s shocked. Vicouryn has  _ never  _ asked for her input in matters beyond political and other work-related topics. Nahlia  _ has  _ seen more of Vicouryn beyond her mask due to being the most trusted attendant, but this is something else entirely. And, well, though the queen has not asked Nahlia for her input on much, she  _ has  _ confessed a few things to her knowing that the secrets would stay contained, but nothing quite like this, only her frustrations that come with being queen.

“I see. I assume you are intending to court Weiren?” Nahlia returns evenly. The other attendants would lose their minds if they were hearing this. The queen nods.

“You are fairly intelligent, and privy to more than others, so I am sure you must already have your assumptions on the situation. You know I have not been using my own chambers, and you know I have been using my leisure time with the paladin. You were the one to escort them to me so long ago.”

“Yes,” Nahlia says, nodding, “I am aware that there is a relationship between the two of you. Weiren seems to harbor an incredible amount of affection for you.” She can very easily recall the beginning of that letter. If Weiren is calling her their sweet love then haven’t they already been courted? She wonders exactly what the situation is.

Nahlia has been aware, and she has also been the one to fetch Weiren at the queen’s request very often, though she never spoke of it with the queen, simply carried out the order.

“Indeed. They are deeply in love with me,” Vicouryn says, “And so I wish to make them properly mine.”

Nahlia presses her lips together.

“Exactly what more courting needs to be done if they are already in love?” She inquires, “As far as I know you have already given them much, with what Freya’s done and allowing them to stay here.”

“I have not expressed my own feelings,” Vicouryn says, this time quieter as her gaze briefly falters, a tinge coming to her stoic face. 

“So not specifically courting, but you wish to confess your feelings to them?” Nahlia asks, a little thrown by the image of a bashful Vicouryn, but so very interested in this whole thing. The queen is right, she has little experience in the way of giving her feelings to others because she is so focused on her queendom, but somehow now Weiren has gotten her attention. 

“Weiren has been beneficial to me, but I may have developed some affection for them, and so I wish to give it to them properly,” she says, “It is only right, after all they have done.”

So she  _ does  _ love them.

Nahlia feels her heart lift. She thought she’d never see the day that her queen would find someone to love.

And the fact that Vicouryn is even telling her this… is a lot. Weiren is so openly friendly and warm that it seems they may have helped the queen open up. She severely doubts this situation would have occurred without their influence; the queen usually does not discuss matters like this.

“So, then, tell me about your experience. You courted someone; tell me what you did and how it went. I must know how you went about expressing your own… intentions,” the queen presses, looking at her more intensely. 

“Well, it was successful,” Nahlia starts, “I have been with Freya for several years.”

The queen stares at her, her eyes just barely wider than usual, completely taken aback by these words, and Nahlia wants to snort in amusement. Vicouryn raises a hand to her face again, fingers pressed to her temples as she maintains her expression of indifference as best she can.

“You have been in a relationship all this time?” She finally says. 

Nahlia is very good at keeping her personal matters separate from her work, so she supposes it makes sense the queen wouldn’t have noticed. Well, this will certainly be a fun conversation.

***

As she has so frequently found herself since Weiren’s departure, Vicouryn is in their room, and she is thinking many thoughts, especially since her talk with Nahlia some days ago. The attendant had quite a lot to say, and though it must be unexpected for her queen to come to her for love advice, Nahlia remained very professional as she always does, thank the gods. 

There is a new option for her confession; what if she gave Weiren a love letter? Being a romantic as they are, it actually sounds like something they might like, but to her it feels cowardly in comparison to verbally expressing her love.

The issue is that even though it feels cowardly she feels like it might be the best choice for her, because she can draft it in advance and plan every word instead of losing her voice when trying to utter that three-word phrase that Weiren apparently has absolutely no issue with saying. It would be easier on her heart and soul, but again it is the cowardly option, but  _ again  _ Weiren seems to be a fan of letters and apparently love letters are very romantic. 

The queen steps to the balcony and opens the balcony doors, gazing out into the night as the breeze sweeps across her. What will be the best way to tell Weiren she loves them? Why is this so hard? Did Weiren think this hard on confessing before they did it? Somehow they were able to let the sentiment slip just in the middle of their last night in Gedal; it hadn’t seemed incredibly planned. Somehow it worked out that way. After they returned to Mevaden, it just fell from their lips so naturally, like nothing, and yet the task seems so painfully overwhelming to  _ her _ . Weiren didn’t have experience in relationships and intimacy before her and they were so easily able to just say it. Vicouryn has more experience, though not in expressing her love and affection, but she finds it so difficult to even breach the topic. The paladin is so open and honest in a way she never has been.

With a sigh she looks down, and then her gaze falls on the planters set up along the iron railing. Ah, yes, she remembers having this prepared for them. There’s an assortment of plants along them, hardier ones that were able to start growing even in the cold of the end of winter, and there’s one that appears to not have anything in it yet; maybe they were planning on using those for summer plants? 

She narrows her eyes; she isn’t knowledgeable about plants but some of these look a little wilted.

How long has it been since Weiren left? Three days? Four days? How often are these supposed to be watered? They requested Issiel to take care of the moonflowers out in the garden but they might have forgotten these planters in the hassle of getting ready to leave. Oh, no. Underneath the overhang there is a watering can, but she has absolutely no idea how much water a plant needs let alone these specific plants, whatever the hell they are. She moves towards the can, but then frowns. What if she overwaters them and they die? She can’t risk ruining Weiren’s plants.

Well, she sighs, considering how she literally drains the life force of others to subsist, it wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary if she failed to cultivate natural life.

The queen returns inside and crosses the room to the bookshelves. Surely among all the informative books she stocked for them there’s one with the basics of gardening? One with enough guidance so that she doesn’t accidentally kill them with ineptitude, hopefully? With her lips pressed together she scans the titles, searching. Otherwise she’ll have to seek Nahlia or Issiel, but she would prefer for this room to stay hers and their space. If it comes to it, perhaps she can bring the planters elsewhere and meet Issiel for their guidance.

A title catches her attention:  _ The Care of Nature _ , which seems applicable, and she drags it out. Thankfully it does appear to be a gardening book, and she prays it has the information she requires inside. She spends a few more moments to see if there are any others; if not, she will have to head down to the manor’s library and check there. She’d rather deal with this issue herself, after all. Luckily there’s a couple more, and she takes them all over to the table to flip through and hopefully find a simple answer to the question of how much she should water these. If they’ve missed a few days of being watered does she need to compensate? Or are they even supposed to be watered daily? What if it is a weekly thing?

Gods be damned…

***

“My queen?” Nahlia calls as she knocks on the door. She’d just finished up dinner, but couldn’t find Vicouryn anywhere else. There’s no response, so she opens it quietly, wondering if perhaps she ended up falling asleep again.

But the bed is empty. Rather, to the side of the bed, Vicouryn is sitting at the small table beside the balcony doors, eyebrows furrowed as she appears to be poring over a pile of books in the light of a candle. Nahlia watches curiously as the queen pauses her reading to gaze to the other side of the table, where what appears to be a planter of some sort sits, and takes a leaf between two fingers, studying it closely. A second later, and she drops it and returns to looking at the book. 

Vicouryn normally notices when Nahlia, or anyone really, enters the room, so this is especially intriguing. The aide walks closer at a slow pace to give the queen time to notice her naturally, not wanting to startle her.

“My queen,” she addresses in a calm voice, and Vicouryn sits up, her head turning as she finally takes notice of her attendant.

“Nahlia,” she returns as she shakes her head briefly, sighing, “I did not realize you came in.”

“You seemed very focused,” the aide comments, coming closer, “May I inquire as to what you are working on?”

At this the queen looks away for a moment, her lips pressing together in a faint line.

“The Waywatcher left behind their balcony plants,” she says, “I am simply ascertaining the best way to give them adequate care until their return.”

Now beside the queen, Nahlia can see across the several books, in which there are several diagrams and images of plantlife of varying kinds. How long has Vicouryn been at this?

“I see,” Nahlia says. She’d advise to get Issiel, but she knows her queen. Most likely Vicouryn wants to figure out how to take care of Weiren’s things by herself. 

She thinks it’s sweet.

“Do you want any assistance? I can find more books from the library,” she offers instead. The queen gazes at her, and then back at the plants, before gesturing to the chair on the other side.

“You may assist. Identify this one,” she says, waving at a fern-like plant at the end of the planter, “Once we have identified them all we may find the most suitable care for each.” 

“Of course, my queen.” Nahlia seats herself and takes one of the books, which appears to be less about how to garden and more about just base information on the different species of plants. This isn’t the kind of work she normally does but she has good eyes and is adept at handling information, so she gets to it. 

“Thank you, Nahlia,” Vicouryn says, though she isn’t looking at her, “I appreciate your help with this matter. You… are very helpful and have been invaluable to me.”

The aide blinks, not expecting that sentiment. Certainly the queen offers her thanks often enough in a professional manner, but normally she just says the short phrase and is done. Perhaps opening her heart to a certain paladin has had some other effects. Nahlia makes a small smile and dips her head.

“It is my pleasure to assist you,” she returns, “thank you, as well.”

The two fall into a comfortable silence as they work. It is something of a welcome break from the political affairs she normally handles, and it is nice to simply assist her queen in something unrelated to her queendom. Weiren has affected Vicouryn quite a lot, more than she expected, and she hopes that their relationship is going alright. Though she doesn’t know the details, the queen has especially been in higher spirits since their reunion, and has been dismissing her attendants earlier than usual, perhaps to spend her free time with the paladin alone. Again, it is a relief for her to see it, because ever since Vicouryn took the throne she has been doing nothing  _ but  _ taking care of Mevaden. Even prior to her taking the crown she worked so tirelessly, without purpose to anything other than her family’s kingdom. Nahlia has always done her best to assist the queen and make the burden of rule easier, but the woman never really took any  _ real  _ breaks.

But now… now she has something beyond Mevaden, and Nahlia is glad for it.

“Nahlia,” Vicouryn says, breaking the silence, “Have you any experience in… baking?”

***

It’s been a bit of a while since Weiren was last in Gedal, but it's along the way to the druids. Head west to Gedal, and then basically straight south all the way to the bottom of Doluum. Thankfully travel was very easy, Weiren somehow the one still in possession of the flying carpet. Well, it makes sense, considering that among the party, they’re the one still so much on the move while everyone else focuses on their own business. They’re also hoping to return to Kandor eventually and see if there is anything they can do about the corrupted spirits. Their own power has grown so much in the year, and it would be wonderful to see Dejak again. 

Gods though, what if they stumbled upon Laine and Kaleel? Weiren shudders. They might be stronger now, but no doubt those two slayers have grown over time, though certainly they must have been paid enough to quite literally retire for the rest of their lives and then some, considering their short human lifespan. Maybe they’ll be lucky, and that pair will have done exactly that and it’ll be unlikely to come across them.

“Weiren!” A voice calls out, and the paladin blinks, turning around to see Lynne waving at them as she makes her way down the street. 

“Lynne!” Weiren returns, and the two of them meet in a hug. Gods, she is a welcome sight after all this time. She’s in clothes Weiren hasn’t seen before and her hair is a bit longer. It’s been so strange to be apart from the Crystal Concord after having been together with them so constantly. “How are you doing? How’s your family?”

“We’re doing good,” Lynne returns, “They finally upgraded to a bigger shop just last week, and it’s almost ready to open.” Back when the Concord had to go to Vangath, they met Lynne’s family. Though her brother is a diplomat, her parents ran a jeweller’s shop. After escaping back to Gedal, they had to leave behind their home and consequently their business, and have been in Doluum ever since.

Weiren can remember meeting her family. It’d been such a long time since they saw what it was like for a family to sit together around a warm dinner. Their heart had ached, thinking of that familial intimacy they never really were able to have. They’re glad that the Concord was able to get them all out of Vangath.

“That’s great!” Weiren exclaims, genuinely happy for her.

“Come on, let’s go get a table and you can tell me how things are going for you,” Lynne says, gesturing to the restaurant entrance. Thankfully it's a much simpler establishment than something like the White Pearl’s Rest, where they’d had multiple extravagant dinners upon returning to Gedal a year ago, thanks to Cecilia. This place feels much more cozy and comfortable, and the two head inside to grab a table.

“Anything new with Dormin?” Weiren inquires with a wink, and Lynne rolls her eyes. “Just asking since you guys were together for almost a year without  _ ever  _ breathing a word of it to me or Kainen the whole time.”

Yes, the party had had an internal relationship that half of the Concord did not notice for  _ months _ . The true humor of it all was that somehow everyone else learned about it before Kainen and Weiren did, it coming up in conversation with Cecilia at yet another dinner where the pair realized they were the only ones in the dark.

“Oh, yea? Well how’s it going with  _ Victoria?  _ Since you went back to Mevaden,” Lynne shoots back with a smirk.

Victoria has been the code word because Vicouryn is a very uncommon name and it would be  _ really  _ weird if people overheard them talking about this, because there quite literally is no other Vicouryn than the Queen of Mevaden.

“I asked first,” Weiren says innocently, glancing down at the menu to pick something, and the tiefling laughs.

“I mean, he’s been in Vangath since we parted ways,” Lynne says, “I’ve been messaging him, though. The order is growing quite steadily, thankfully. Vangath overall has been in much better shape. The corrupt council was disbanded and there’s a new set of head priests who are overseeing reconstruction and reform.”

Thank the  _ gods. _ Though Weiren has too many bad memories of that country and likely won’t return for a long, long time, it is wonderful to hear that something is being done about the corruption that ran so deep, so deep that it tied them to Brauven somehow.

“That’s good to hear,” they reply, nodding. A waiter comes by, and the both of them order some food.

“So… Victoria? Ole Vicky?” Lynne repeats, fixing them with a sly stare, and Weiren laughs as their cheeks redden. Gods if Vicouryn ever found out the tiefling was calling her  _ that  _ in her absence, there would be bloodshed.

“I’ve been staying in her manor,” the paladin answers, “It’s been really nice.”

“Oh, did you… confess your feelings?” Lynne asks surreptitiously, resting her head on her hand.

“Yes.” Weiren nods a little shyly, thinking fondly of how often they’re allowed to say the phrase, how much Vicouryn seems to delight when they utter those words. 

“And…?” Lynne looks at them, awaiting the continuation.

“And that’s how it’s been,” Weiren says simply, “It’s been kind of onesided in some ways, but I think she likes my company.”

“What? You’ve been staying with her for a  _ month _ and there hasn’t been any confession on her part? But aren’t you in love?” Lynne looks at them incredulously. “Haven’t you been in love for over a year?”

Weiren feels their face warm even more as they recall all of the things they’ve done with Vicouryn since their reunion, all the things she’s done for them. Her taking their preferences into account when giving them their room, her concern over their traumatic nightmares, her desire to cheer them up with cakes and sweets, her initiating holding their hand when they went on a walk, her verbally just  _ saying  _ how much she appreciates them. Her sadness upon realizing she’d accidentally cut their lip, such a small thing and yet she was so clearly upset that she’d hurt them.

After the bath, when she was weak and delirious, she was terrified that Weiren’s feelings might dissipate after seeing her like that, and she was so relieved when they said otherwise. She told them to never stop having their feelings of love, and to keep professing their love every day. And they’ve known, quite clearly, that she does not want them to  _ leave _ . That’s something they’ve been able to sense, something they’ve intuited since their return to Mevaden, and their suspicions were only confirmed when Vicouryn had her own worries and they talked about it out in the open.

And in that talk, she had already thought about how she might live beyond Weiren’s time, she had already been fearing losing  _ them.  _ She worried for their safety so much that she gifted them a ring of protection.

“Well,” the paladin says, glancing out the window, “I… I have a few suspicions. I know she cares for me quite a lot and she treats me very well.”  _ I’ve probably seen more of her than anyone else ever has _ . “She may like me as I like her, but I think she has difficulty in dealing with emotional things like that.”

In truth, Weiren is pretty sure that Vicouryn has feelings for them, because they’ve been privy to so much of her. The queen trusts them so much, not just to let them stay in the manor but to allow them to be so close intimately. Above all, she trusts them enough to  _ confide _ in them about her worries, worries she has never told anyone else. 

And there have been many times when they noticed her gaze upon them, her somehow content to look at them even when the two of them aren’t doing anything intimate. They have noticed the way her behavior has shifted over time, her words and her touches becoming gentler, her being that much more considerate of them. She has allowed them so close to her, enough to hold her and care for her.

The paladin can’t be completely sure that Vicouryn is experiencing  _ romantic  _ love, but it is likely she does love them, in some kind of way, and if she ever wants to tell them, it will be up to her to actually say the words. Weiren will wait however long she needs, and if she chooses not to reciprocate their feelings then it still is okay, because Weiren is honestly happy just by being allowed to be near her, by helping her however they can. Because she, too, likes to be near them, and she helps them with their issues. Whether or not she confesses her likely love, the two will still be respecting and supporting one another in  _ this  _ relationship. They are already so close to one another, and it is clear that the both of them are happier to be able to be this close.

Again, Weiren doesn’t  _ need  _ that romantic reciprocation because even without it, Vicouryn has been so incredibly wonderful to them, and she accepts them and their love regardless. Perhaps she hasn’t reciprocated that strange romantic “love” but she has reciprocated in another way, with her gentle touch, her kindness, her generosity. 

That may be her way of showing her love, though. She has said multiple times how fortunate she is to have them, how she enjoys their company and how she wants to make them feel good. She always spends so much time taking care of them in a myriad of ways, too. Weiren can sense so much affection behind those sentiments, and though they may suspect she loves them, they don’t want to assume anything, just in the off-chance that they’re wrong. 

Still, though, she does like them quite a lot. Weiren wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be love.

“I suppose that makes sense,” Lynne says, “I can hardly imagine that woman even saying the word ‘love.’ It’s always so difficult to read her. But to be honest,  _ I  _ was under the impression that she had feelings for you long ago. You know she asked  _ me  _ about you?”

Weiren stares.

“What? When? Really?” They’re surprised by this information; they had absolutely no idea that the two ever communicated beyond the official audiences with the Concord.

“When she was in Gedal, too,” Lynne says, folding her arms and cocking her head curiously. “By the way, did you  _ tell  _ her that I saw you in Mevaden? Because I’m pretty sure that’s why she called me to a meeting.”

Oh,  _ gods _ . Weiren’s mouth falls open.

“I.. w-what did she say to you?” Weiren asks, now a little frightened that they might have caused something horrible. Did the queen actually do something to Lynne?

“Honestly? She wanted to know what I thought you two were up to, and she asked me what I knew about  _ you _ . She wanted to know about your preferences.” Lynne raises an eyebrow. “It seemed pretty clear to me that she wanted to know more about you, without asking you directly, and it quite honestly sounded like she had a crush or something. That’s also when I realized I didn’t actually know  _ that  _ much about you, so she didn’t get much out of me. I just said it would be better to talk to you directly.”

“O-oh,” Weiren says, blinking as they take in that information, “I had no idea. She, um, she didn’t threaten you or anything? I know she’s a little, uh, you know…”

Weiren is accustomed to her being nice but that niceness only extends to her manor staff and to them, and that otherwise she is cold and calculating and only respectful by etiquette, not out of a genuine desire to treat people well. Otherwise, she can be particularly verbally forceful and intimidating.

“I mean, she did, but she just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t tell anyone about your… relationship,” Lynne says, “Otherwise she was fine.”

Oh, phew. 

“Well, I’m sorry you got involved,” Weiren sighs, “I hadn’t meant for that to happen, I just… felt bad I hadn’t kept it entirely discreet. I didn’t want to lie to her.”

“Yes, I can understand that. She seems like she’d know before you even got the words out, if you were lying,” Lynne agrees, “But no worries. It was kind of weird, but kind of entertaining. Never thought I’d see someone like Victoria be  _ bashful _ .”

The idea that Vicouryn was secretly seeking out Lynne to learn more about  _ them  _ is so much. They didn’t expect that in any capacity, but now it’s making them wonder what her feelings even were like back then, and how they’ve evolved since then. Because honestly she did want them in some ways; back then, Weiren mostly assumed it was mostly physically, but now they wonder if she had more of those ambiguous emotions then, too. Again, though, the queen seems to have difficulty with dealing with those kinds of feelings, those intangible emotions, so it’s hard to say.

Above all, it makes their heart jump a little, because Vicouryn doing that can only mean she wanted to get closer to Weiren somehow, even before they confessed their love. It’s atypical, but they’re sure it was what she thought was the best way to learn more about them, so that she might treat them better. Of course she picked the roundabout option by asking Lynne instead of them, probably not wanting to imply anything too much to Weiren. Thinking back, if Lynne told Vicouryn to ask Weiren directly, then it must have been before that night with wine, when Vicouryn was suddenly asking so many questions, wanting Weiren to tell her more about themself.

Oh, gods, that meant it was the night before Weiren gave themself to the queen.

_ I’m all yours. As long as you want, I’m only yours _ .

“I guess, thanks for telling me,” Weiren finally says, their face warm, “Um, what else have you been up to?”

***

Vicouryn is wearing an  _ apron _ .

“My queen,” Nahlia says from behind her, tying the strings of the apron dutifully, “I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, but I still think it would be best to have Marion’s guidance.”

From what Vicouryn knows, Marion is an excellent chef. Unfortunately because she does not care much for food, she does not see him much or know him that well and is consequently resistant to the idea of him bearing witness to the Queen of Mevaden struggling in the kitchen. Technically he is a part of the trusted staff and thus knows about her condition but even so, she would rather it only be Nahlia to witness her ineptitude.

“You learn and adapt quickly,” Vicouryn says, “I am sure we can handle this on our own.” Nahlia returns to her front to face her.

“Considering I have been your attendant for most of my life, I have only been eating what Marion provides; I have zero experience in cooking. I spend all my time assisting  _ you, _ ” she states factually, “I may be able to follow the instructions of a recipe but I do not know nearly enough to ensure that we’ll be doing everything right.”

Vicouryn looks to the side and makes a small frown. She only trusts Nahlia with this kind of thing.

A moment passes, and Nahlia heaves a sigh.

“Of course, I will do my best to help you,” the aide says, pressing a hand to the bridge of her nose, “but don’t get your hopes up.”

“I deeply appreciate your aid,” Vicouryn returns, “Thank you for your help.” 

Nahlia has dealt with much, including Vicouryn’s attempts to do things for Weiren, which surely are not part of the job description, and for that she is eternally grateful. Quite honestly there is no one else she would ever trust to talk to in the way she talks to Nahlia. Without her, Vicouryn would simply have to navigate these strange emotions all on her own.

“Of course, my queen. However, if it goes poorly, I highly suggest we revisit this with the assistance of someone who actually knows what they’re doing,” Nahlia says, briefly dipping her head.

“...Does Freya have any experience in this?” Vicouryn inquires as Nahlia flips through the cookbook she’d gotten. Even Freya she trusts more than this Marion, now moreso considering how Nahlia trusts her to the point of being in a relationship with her.

“She’s a tailor,” Nahlia says, glancing at her for a moment, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she knows as much as we do. Are you really so opposed to Marion?”

“I… I simply do not know him as well as I do you and Freya,” the queen says carefully. She has her attendants and her staff but again there are only a very select few that she would be alright with seeing her like  _ this. _ She has an  _ image _ . She cannot allow people to see her making a fool of herself by failing in her attempts to cook.

“Weiren has assisted Marion from time to time,” Nahlia mentions, “He seems to be a very good teacher.”

Hmm, Weiren  _ has  _ mentioned how they’ve been getting to know the other staff of the manor, and she can remember a few instances in which they talked of helping make dinner for everyone. 

The thought somehow depresses her in a way; if she ever finds the time to maybe bake with them, she will just be dragging them down with her inexperience. And, well, she’d been hoping that it would be an experience they’d share with only her, not someone else.

She knows these thoughts are stupid; of course Weiren has been helping out wherever they can because they like to do so. A warm-hearted paladin of light, of course they have talents in things like gardening and cooking, things that foster life and joy. Vicouryn sighs, it makes her feel like she stands so far beneath them. They are so warm, and she is so cold in comparison.

But she is taking care of their plants while they are away, and she is going to learn how to bake these gods-forsaken cookies, and they are going to be overwhelmingly happy about it when they come back. She  _ will  _ make them overjoyed, she will make certain of it. Vicouryn would not do these silly things for just anyone, but she is going to make sure she does them  _ perfectly _ , because she has her standards and it will make Weiren happy. 

“We will try this out by ourselves first,” she says in a steely tone as she shoots Nahlia a look, “should we find ourselves incapable of conquering these…  _ cookies _ , then we will turn to Marion.”

She is determined, but how hard can it be, really?

_ A few hours later. _

Suffice to say, there is more to baking than meets the eye, and flour does  _ not _ mix well with her dark wardrobe, and perhaps she may need to sacrifice her pride and ask for help. 

At least she has months to practice.

***

Vicouryn stares down at the blank paper. 

Who  _ fucking  _ knew that writing  _ love letters  _ was so fucking hard? She’s losing her gods-damned mind. She has  _ already _ degraded herself by picking the cowardly option and she can’t even put together words that sound even remotely romantic. She’s wasted so many sheets already on this.

Even just the first part is giving her trouble. How does she address them?

_ My Weiren; my dearest Weiren; my sunflower, Weiren; dear Weiren, my sweet; Waywatcher Weiren of the Crystal Concord; Paladin Weiren. _

The first ones are embarrassing, the last ones are too formal, and she might have broken a quill in her attempts to write this damn letter. What the hell did Weiren even write in their first letter? She pulls it out from her drawer; she hasn’t read it since they returned.

_ Vicouryn, _

_ Thank you again for everything. Words can’t really express how you’ve affected me, but I am infinitely happier after meeting you. _

_ I am eager to return after everything is over, but I must tell you that my story in Vangath is a dangerous one, and it is possible that things may go poorly. Brauven and Vangath are more connected than we know, and so it is that much more dangerous for me to venture to my ‘home.’ I don’t know what will happen, but I will never forget everything you have done for me. I believe I am stronger now, and though I have run from my past before, perhaps I will be able to face it this time. _

_ I have a request that I was a little too nervous to make in person, but I understand if it is not one you can fulfill. When I return, I would like to walk through the gardens with you under the night sky. Maybe by then I’ll have been able to grow the moonflowers that remind me so much of you, and you can see them, too. _

_ Again, if you cannot do this, then I understand. _

_ There are not many lights that I can look to when lost in the dark, but you’ve become one of them. I don’t know if this is too corny for you, in which case you can pretend you didn’t read that. I don’t have a lot of experience writing sentimental letters, and I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t include, but I want to make sure I properly convey how much I appreciate you, and how important our time together is to me. You are very important to me. _

_ Please, stay safe. I hope your journey back to Mevaden is good, and that you and your people triumph over any obstacles that may come in your way. _

_ Hopefully when we meet again I’ll be stronger, and more worthy of being your companion. I know I can be better, and I will do my utmost to ensure that I become as such. _

_ Yours, _

_ Weiren _

They addressed her just by name. They thanked for what she’s done, and said they’d never forget it. They warned her of their past, then mentioned their request of walking in the gardens. They called her a light in their dark, and then appended some humor. They said that she was very important to them, told her to stay safe, and included thoughts of reuniting in the future.

Even now this letter brings a smile to her face. So earnest and kind, and gods how far the two of them have come since then. No longer just meeting to touch, but now living together to share both touch and love, though she’s learned Weiren had already been thinking of love so much earlier in this whole relationship. How did they leave Mevaden that first time and think of her in such a positive way? Perhaps she’d had two gentle nights of holding them, but before that she’d  _ hurt  _ them. She’d manipulated them into giving her more blood after already having offered some, knowing they’d accept out of fear and also out of a desire for her contact, and yet somehow after that they developed such warm feelings towards her. She knows she is lucky, she is infinitely fortunate that Weiren looked past that first incident for if it had been her she would have cut ties immediately.

It is only thanks to them being so open that they decided to attend another audience, when she took their hand and the relationship grew from there. She’d viewed them as spineless and meek but in reality it was also just their  _ tolerance _ ,  _ their _ tolerance of  _ her _ behavior that had been so cold and cutting, their tolerance that led them to seek that audience where she’d made them cry by exposing their vulnerabilities, their fear of touch and intimacy.

She still regrets her actions, but she will make up for them for as long as she lives. She will do  _ everything _ for them; she will treat them with kindness and love, she will give them touch and intimacy, she will support them with her resources, she will make sure they are  _ happy  _ for it is what they deserve. 

And so even if this is so hard for her, she will fucking  _ make  _ it work. She will draft as many as she needs to express her love; she wants this letter to make Weiren  _ overjoyed _ . She will scent it with fragrance and put pressed petals from the balcony flowers she’d cared for in the envelope, she will write it in her best handwriting and fill it with her affection, she will put her everything into this letter and then she will give it to them and hold their hands and pull them into the deepest embrace she’s ever given. She will be open with them in the way they are open with her, and she will give them her love and hold them close and never let them go. Then they will spend the rest of the day together, when she can give them the cookies she’s learned to bake, and that night she will make love to them. If they are too tired from traveling then she will be content to take care of it all entirely. Perhaps she can have the bathing room prepared so that they can get cleaned up and relax after their travels, too, though if she attends she will have to stay out or the water will have to be cooled down.

It’d be nice to have another try at bathing with them, since the last one went so poorly, though.

But back to this letter. Maybe she should go back and talk of those past times, and express her feelings on how everything has evolved since then. She should express her regret for her failures, and her gratitude for all the things they have done for her. She should be honest, like they are, and simply write these feelings down. It is hard, but she will do it, because she loves them.

Vicouryn puts the quill to the parchment.

_ My dearest Weiren... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just want 2 add i have actyally dreamed abt asking someone out and was so relieved and then i woke up and was like 😶


	10. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some months, they return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all sorry for the delay in updating. because i went crazy last year and exhausted all my writing power it kinda dwindled away. and also december was really busy for me (roadtripped to NY w my bro bc he got new job) and also emotionally exhausting because i need therapy Lol anyway the end is in sight but i cant make any promises or estimates when the next chapter will come out other than im pretty sure ill finish it before 2021 is over lol. probably before july at most bc i wanna say i wrote everything in less than a year Lol.
> 
> also to those who wanna see it i have drawn tons of spicy weicouryn content @lemonweiwen on twitter just saying wee wooo

She rolls the quill in her fingers.

It should be any day now. Vicouryn has crawled her way through the months without her paladin, and though she has grown used to their absence, she is so desperately waiting for their return. She is waiting for them to step into her manor so that she can pull them into her arms and hold them tight and kiss them over and over and show them how much they mean to her. She wants to pick them up and run away from her duties and retreat to the haven of their room where she can shower them with gifts and love, and she wants them to be alone with her for  _ hours _ . Gods if they could be beside her during all her meetings, but no one else deserves to even look at them. Perhaps in her study, they could simply read while she works, while she draws up plans for the future. 

The future…

There has been progress made toward organizing the new leadership. For now, Vicouryn will finish her current reign as queen, ruling until a future Nights of Rebirth, after which Mevaden will be reborn under a new structure. The nobles already have considerable control over other parts, as tradition has held that the highest-ranking families each have a responsibility over different aspects of the kingdom, such as the Fairlights organizing the city guard, but in the future there will be more meetings among everyone, including representatives from the other classes, in a more official council over which Vicouryn will preside. After her reign fully ends, she will remain a part of the council, though it is possible she may become an advisor as opposed to an official member, but she will make sure to have influence.

Despite being queen only through family and blood, no one can deny her skill at leading. Perhaps she is cold and distant, but she is effective and thorough, and she has cared for Mevaden quite well, ever moreso than her father, the only real hiccup in her reign being that of Lord Varis making a mess in her city, after which she had to take control over the infrastructure. Otherwise, since she took the throne, Mevaden has flourished, and she has done her best to ensure that every single one of her citizens is living well, but it is difficult to keep an eye on every nook and cranny of her kingdom. The war certainly improved business though at the cost of lives, but now in reconstruction (again) there is room for other trade to grow.

There is a new path ahead, and she will walk along it confidently though cautiously, and she will tolerate the presence of the other representatives beside her, for in this future she will not shoulder Mevaden alone. Others will bear her kingdom’s weight alongside her, and it will be new and strange, but she will work with it.

The silver lining is that with some of the pressure of Mevaden taken off of her, she will have more  _ time _ . If she can tear herself away from looking over every bit of business to do with Mevaden, that is, then she will have more free time. Theoretically there will be less scrutiny on her, and she may even find it a good time to formally take Weiren so that she does not have to hide them away. No longer with her queendom hanging over her, it would not be as scandalous to find a partner in an adventurer, but more specifically an official  _ knight  _ of Doluum who very much did save the country alongside their party members, that is if Weiren would want their relationship to be more known. She will have to discuss it with them to see, but either way it would need to wait until she is no longer  _ queen _ .

They have waited so much for her, have been so incredibly patient, but unfortunately she will have to request they wait a bit longer. She is endlessly grateful for their patience, something so generously given to her, but time is something she cannot control. The future where Weiren can be even freer with their love, and perhaps venture outside alongside her beyond the walls, is a far one, but it is one she will wait for with baited breath.

***

Why is it that she must always wait to see them? Not because they have gone out to pursue their own goals, but because she has too much  _ fucking  _ shit to do. Because she has to suffer sitting through this horrendously long and stupid meeting of all the noble representatives,  _ right  _ after Nahlia informed her that Weiren returned just a scant hour ago. Were it any other meeting she would have cancelled it and feigned illness, but this one has been planned for quite some time and is very important to the development of Mevaden, and she is loath to try and schedule a new date after it took ages to schedule this one. Gods be damned.

She’s feeling horribly impatient but there is nothing she can do but make this meeting as efficient and quick as possible by leading the discussion, trying to stop herself from drumming her fingers by instead focusing on her words. An hour passes, and then another, but  _ finally  _ the nobles rise and begin to file out of the room, the discussion having finished, and she has to stop herself from leaping from her chair and sprinting down the hall, though she entertains the idea while watching the nobles with steely eyes. 

Gods, what is she to say to them? Is she to be the one to say she missed them? That she loves them? Though she became accustomed to the illogical jumping of her heart, now that she hasn’t seen them for a few months it feels like her chest might burst, like those sentimental words might just fall out of her mouth without her control, but at the same time she isn’t sure she can even say them. It isn’t like her to express her attachment in such a way. Weiren is the one with affectionate words and warm hugs; she feels strange doing those things. Rather, she prefers to simply surprise them with a touch, to give them a kiss, to hold them close and then to allow  _ them  _ to hold her close. 

Words are so strange, emotions so nebulous, but touch is so firm and solid, and she can clearly see and feel the effects of contact, but she knows she can’t convey all of her emotions like that. She needs to be clear, and that is why she has planned it all out. Tonight they’ll rest after a day of travel, perhaps take a bath, and then after if they are up to it she will give them pleasure. Then, tomorrow night, after they’re refreshed, she’ll lead them back to the gazebo, say a few eloquent words, present her letter and allow them to read it right there, and then they’ll finally know. They’ll cry from joy and fall into her arms and she will hold them tightly, letting them know how much they mean to her, and gods they’ll work around her queendom until it is over.

All of a sudden she is standing before their door, and swallowing, she pushes it open.

Somehow the flow of emotion upon seeing them is even more intense than when they first returned to Mevaden, and her words are completely gone, and they are simply standing by their wardrobe with an open bag when they notice her. There’s a second when they stare and then they’re coming closer, a smile alighting their face in a way that steals  _ her  _ breath. She barely remembers to hold out her arms.

“Vicouryn!” They’re saying, “I missed you so much- Vicouryn!”

In a motion she doesn’t expect they practically throw themself at her, and she swiftly wraps her arms around them but has to take a step or two back, their momentum throwing her off balance but she barely cares. Suddenly they’re  _ there,  _ against her where they belong, their arms around her neck and she tries to spin to do that stupid romantic reunion thing, but she isn’t quite prepared and she’s stumbling, and then both of them are on the ground again. Oh, gods.

“Oof, oh, sorry!” Weiren says between laughs, lying across her body as a heat comes to Vicouryn’s face, unexpecting of this assertion from them, but there’s so much  _ delight _ in her. They missed her, it seems, perhaps as much as she missed them, and it only serves to make her heart soar even higher. She tightens her hold on them, letting out a deep sigh of relief. They’re safe, and they’re here, and she loves them. “Are you alright?”

In response she rolls over, reversing their positions so she can be above them in her natural state, but perhaps that was a mistake because now she can see their face again, and it’s so warm and kind and full of affection and her control over her...  _ everything  _ is slipping. No words come from her as she opens their mouth, and she’s speechless for a second. Finally, a second later, and she nods, somehow having enough sense of self to do at least that. This wasn’t supposed to be how she acted upon their return, and she’s never had so much trouble saying anything before. She was supposed to lift them up her arms and give them sweet sentiments, not fall silent and passive like this. 

Now underneath her, Weiren’s smile softens further, and they reach up a hand to her face, but she has to avert her gaze, feeling overwhelmed in such a strange way. 

“Vicouryn?” They say, now quieter, concern in their tone, and  _ fuck  _ she just needs to say  _ something _ , her stupid voice hasn’t been working. 

“Weiren,” she finally says, but it takes a couple tries, and she hates how she sounds.  _ Come on _ .  _ At least say you missed them, too _ . “I-it is good to see you, too.”

Gods be damned. They grin again and pull her back into another tight embrace. Perhaps she should just go ahead and kiss them instead, forgoing difficult words for something she  _ knows  _ she can do. Another few seconds, and she pulls back from the hug, schools herself, and just presses her lips against theirs.  _ I love you, Weiren, I love you, thank you _ .  _ I missed you; so much so that I was in pain without you, gods, please, I love you _ .

These thoughts swirl in her mind as she kisses them, trying to convey these sentiments, her hands holding them against her, and their arms around her waist tighten as they deepen it. How did they learn to kiss so wonderfully? How are they everything she’s ever wanted, everything she never even knew that she wanted?

The kiss goes a bit long, and Weiren gasps into it, and she remembers that they need to breathe, and she breaks away, nervous and with a bursting chest and why are feelings like this?

“I love you.”

The words are out before she even realizes she’s saying them and Vicouryn freezes, a deep, deep terror rooting deep within her. No, no, this wasn’t supposed to be how she was going to give them her feelings, not when she’s weak and stumbling and on the floor. She sees Weiren’s eyes widen and immediately there’s regret, shame and sorrow, welling up inside her. She has never said this phrase to someone she truly loved and she did it so poorly; she feels horrible and awful and painfully vulnerable and Weiren must surely be disappointed with this side of her. 

“Oh, that’s good,” they say, gazing fondly at her, “I love you, too.”

There’s something welling in her eyes and she backs away. Of course Weiren reacts so gently, but she knows she doesn’t deserve it, and then there’s tears spilling out even though she’s desperately trying to hold them back.

“No,” she says, “no, that wasn’t- I didn’t-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” their warm voice says, and Weiren’s sitting up, too, a firm hand coming to rest on her shoulder, allowing her to keep staring down, unable to handle seeing their face because the tears won’t stop, and she doesn’t want them to see her like this. 

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that,” she whispers, “it was supposed to be perfect- I was supposed to…”

She was supposed to make them happy. She was supposed to do this perfectly, because she has messed up so many times with them before. She’s hurt them, she’s made them cry, she’s taken their blood, and now she can’t even give them a proper confession because she messed it up too. This was the thing she was going to do completely perfectly; she spent ages preparing for it, and it’s already ruined. She doesn’t know how to handle that because she does  _ everything  _ perfectly. She is a perfect queen and she rules Mevaden and her people with ease, but the world gifts her this warm elf paladin and suddenly everything she does is wrong. 

“Oh, well, you know,” Weiren returns, “the future isn’t set in stone. Honestly I can’t remember a single plan that ever fully went the way it was supposed to.”

Vicouryn lifts her head to stare at them, and they shrug, and then gently open their arms again, offering her another hug. She knows she doesn’t deserve it, but she takes it, closing her eyes because they’re so comforting. They hold her close, a hand gently stroking down the back of her head. She supposes that makes sense, especially since those words were originally hers. The world has a way with interfering in plans, except this time it was her own inability to control her emotions that ruined it. 

“I just- it was supposed to be perfect. I wanted it to be perfect for you. I know that-”  _ I know I don’t deserve you, “ _ I- I’m sorry. You deserve better.” Of all the people in the world who dream of a romantic confession of love, Weiren is the one who deserves it the most.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Weiren protests, “and what do you mean I deserve better? I already have everything I could possibly want; I have  _ you _ .”

Her tears only come faster for some reason. It’s so strange. Weiren backs away to look at her again, their hand gently holding her cheek and she barely manages to lift her gaze, looking at them through her emotional eyes. 

“I have someone so strong and courageous with me. Someone who cares for me, who holds me, who comforts me when I’m in pain. Someone who even wants to make everything perfect for me. Am I not lucky to have someone that? Someone that thinks so much of me and my feelings?” They say softly. 

She supposes… that makes sense…

“You don’t need to be perfect,” Weiren continues, holding her gaze, “Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect, though I guess you are pretty close.”

“You,” Vicouryn says quietly, “you’re perfect.” She would know. They are the sun, a beacon of goodness. They are everything she isn’t, everything that deep down she wishes she was.

Weiren blinks, tilting their head.

“I appreciate it,” they say with a small laugh, “but I’m just a person. I make mistakes all the time, and I cry a lot. Sometimes I’m careless, sometimes I fail. But so does everyone else.”

So… does everyone else. Even the person she  _ thought  _ was perfect, her father, turned tail and abandoned Mevaden. What does it matter if she, too, isn’t perfect?

And Weiren… Weiren cries, too. They show vulnerability, and she still sees them as perfect, yet these are the same things she views as flaws in herself. Their confession wasn’t eloquent, but did it matter? They conveyed the sentiment as best they could, and it was fine, wasn’t it? 

Not only that, but despite her failure in her planned confession, doesn’t she know deep down that she has done much for them, too? Doesn’t she know how she is the only one in whom they have confided? She is the one who takes care of them, not only emotionally but physically, too. And above all, doesn’t she know that she is the one they have fallen in love with, and that she has made them so incredibly happy?

“I… I suppose,” she says tentatively, “You… are certain that you’re okay with me? Even like this?”

One more affirmation. For some reason she needs it, so desperately. It’s so hard for her to really understand how and why they love her, how they fell in love with her before she even had her own feelings on everything. Gods if she was someone else and saw Queen Vicouryn from an outside perspective she is sure she would never have considered that cold character as a romantic option.

“I’m sure,” they say firmly, “Vicouryn, I love you,  _ so much _ , and you make me so happy. I only wish I could do the same for you. You are wonderful, and deserving of happiness, and I can’t imagine where I’d be without you.”

She lets out a breath as they gather her back into their arms. She’s supposed to be the one comforting them, but again she has allowed this to happen more frequently, because she wants it, so bad. 

“I…” Vicouryn starts, biting her lip as she buries her face into their neck, “You already do the same for me. Somehow I… I, too, have fallen… for  _ you _ . I have never known a happiness like the kind you give me. Y-you-” She’s cut off as her crying intensifies, and this time she’s unable to hold it entirely back, and those ugly sobs burst out of her, and she can’t stop them, and it hurts but at the same time she’s relieved. Hundreds of years she’s held everything back, locked every emotion away, and though Weiren has seen a few lapses in her control, now it is all rushing forth, and she has never wept like this, not since she was a child, because for so long she did not allow it. She knew she was not allowed it, but now it is here, and there is someone to hold her through it, all of it. 

Vicouryn clings to Weiren, and they hold her so steadily, humming softly as they run a gentle touch through her hair. Her fingers grip them so tightly, as if she was afraid they’d disappear, and they simply allow her to weep against them, and she does so for a good while.

***

Somehow Weiren is not bothered by the prospect of a lukewarm bath to freshen up after a long day of travel, and they are content to let her finally, properly wash their hair. She is so glad to have a second chance at it, after the last bath went so poorly. The water is a nice temperature for her, warm in the way Weiren is warm when they hold her, the way their lips are warm against hers. 

Gods they treat her so gently, so carefully, especially right after her outburst. She’s been quiet, quieter than usual since she finished crying as her throat is worn, but they have filled the silence with tales of their journey. With a bit of magic they make shapes in the water to accompany the story, and there’s liquid flowers and creatures dancing around her. They tell funny jokes, prompting smiles, gently lifting her spirits because the both of them love each other. How incredible that they bore witness to her in her most raw form, that child of herself that she has kept locked deep away, in the furthest recesses of her mind, that vulnerable child she forgot was ever there, and still they cared for her.

It was so strange to let loose like that, but it was also freeing, and now she is simply tired, but so grateful. So grateful to Weiren, the only blessing she has ever received, who is taking care of her in a way that makes her want to relax, and to accept their care not because she’s delirious but because she trusts them. When she’s finished washing their hair and body, it is their turn, and they touch her with a gentleness that lulls her into a sense of sleepiness. Those hands work the creams and soaps through her locks, lathering bubbles that float about them in a dreamy way. As the conditioner sits in her hair, they shift their attention to her body, their hands running along her skin, and she sighs contentedly. Then they shift under the little stream to rinse it all away, the two of them hugging each other as the water cascades down them. 

“Tomorrow,” Vicouryn says tiredly, “tomorrow, I will be the one to take care of you, love.”

“Sounds good,” Weiren answers, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “but for now, let  _ me  _ pamper  _ you _ .”

She is fine with that. Tomorrow she will still take them to the gazebo, and she will show them the letter and the cookies, but tonight she will just stay with them. Together they rise from the bath to dry off, redressing themselves in soft robes she’d prepared ahead of time.

There’s a moment as she looks at Weiren, at their sturdy body and warm arms. Should she…?

She shuffles closer to lean her head against them. They place a supporting hand on her back.

“Oh,” they say, somehow understanding, “do you want me to carry you?”

“Mhm,” she hums plaintively. Perhaps she is capable of walking herself but she is so tired and feeling very clingy, so this is a more appealing choice. Gods if only she could stay in their arms for eternity.

“Of course,” Weiren says with a smile, and carefully they lift her up in their arms, letting her rest her head on their shoulder. A few more words of a magical sort, and the darkness surrounds them further, obscuring them from view as they make their way back to their room.

“I love you,” Vicouryn whispers against their chest, her eyes falling closed.

“I love you, too.”

***

The queen wakes from gentle dreams of love and warmth to a reality that is equally sweet: Weiren is curled around her, their arm draped across her body, their breath coming against her back. They are back in Mevaden, with her, and she is in love with them, as much as they are in love with her.

She recounts the events, only vaguely embarrassed but mostly…  _ glad _ . She is glad to have let those emotions loose, glad to have been with Weiren when she did. Perhaps it was draining but it was good that it happened, because now she feels as if there is nothing left to hide. They saw her at her worst, and they received her sentiment of love albeit not in the way she planned, and there is nothing left swirling inside, wanting to break free because she has already let it all go.

Vicouryn shifts, turning to face them, wanting to hold them, too, though the motion seems to make Weiren stir. 

“Mm,” they breathe, “Morning, love.”

“Love,” she says in return, “I love you.” Her arms come around them, and it amazes her how it feels to be able to finally, properly, say the sentiment to them. It’s still a little embarrassing, but at the same time it makes her giddy and joyous. “ _ I love you _ .”

“I love you, too,” Weiren says against her, and she hugs them tighter still. How wonderful that the two of them can exchange these soft words. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Vicouryn answers truthfully, and then after a pause, “Thank you, Weiren, for being there. For being here.” Her voice is lower when she says that last part, but gods know she only survived because they were holding her throughout it all, taking care of her.

“Of course,” they say, “Anytime, love.”

“Now, though,” she continues, “It’s time for me to take care of  _ you _ , my dear sunflower. For me to love you in the way you deserve most.” After resting, after all those turbulent emotions, she is so much more at peace, and she wants so badly to give Weiren pleasure, now, to give them attention. She’d been deprived of them and their body for months and now she must make up for that time, and perhaps fuck them into sweet oblivion for how wonderful they are. “I am curious to know if you did anything of the sort while you were away?”

“Oh, uh, no, I didn’t,” they admit, “Again, I really only want to do it with you.”

Vicouryn is both pleased and a little conflicted.

“Weiren,” she says, “You aren’t indulging my desires just because I want to do these things, are you? I know that at times I am… controlling, and I am worried that you may be doing things you don’t really want to in order to please me.” How horrible would it be if it turned out that their time with her only occurred out of obliging her? “I understand I am the one to initiate most things, so…”

“No, of course not!” Weiren answers quickly, “Believe me, I love and enjoy everything we do together, honest. I guess I never really explored intimacy outside of our relationship, so I never really did anything on my own before this, either. I always had trouble getting anywhere by myself; I prefer it always to be with  _ you _ .”

Vicouryn sighs in relief, backing away to look at them properly. 

“And the other things? I… I know I always let your hair down, and I did have clothes made for you even knowing your distaste for finery. You do not need to do these things if you don’t want to. You can wear what you want.” She always assumed Weiren would enjoy doing things to please her, but now like this, she wants to make  _ certain _ . Now that she knows she loves them, now that  _ they  _ know, she must be careful. She’s been pushy and insistent about things before, not really thinking if Weiren might secretly dislike what she’s been suggesting.

“I like them,” they say, “I’ve never worn dresses before this, but it makes me feel like I’m the protagonist of a romance novel,” they admit shyly, laughing, “It’s true these things were unfamiliar but I’ve found myself liking them quite a lot. You’ve shown me so many new things! I swear that if I am ever uncomfortable, I will be clear about it. We’ll talk about it, I promise.”

“Good,” Vicouryn says, “I am glad to hear it.” She really, truly, is. She trusts them so much, and she trusts these words, and she is so glad that even though she has been controlling and introducing these strange things to them, that they ended up liking them. And that thought, that likening of their story to a romance novel, is  _ adorable _ . “Just as I will be glad to hear your sounds when I remind your body of what it has been missing for so long.”

There it is, that cute blush she loves to see as Weiren makes a bashful smile. She won’t have much time this morning, but in their time apart she has done a bit of collecting of enchanted objects, and so tonight she will be quite ready to show them lots of pleasure. For now, though...

“Alright,” Weiren says, “But I’d love to return the favor when you’re done, if you want.”

Gods, so generous, so considerate. She loves this elf, more than she’s ever loved anyone else.

“Perhaps,” she answers, “We’ll see if you’ll even be capable of it after this. I am quite taken with the idea of making you come enough to make up for the first month apart, and perhaps the rest will come later. After your days of travel, you deserve to rest for all of today.”

“Oh, gods,” Weiren laughs, their blush intensifying, “I suppose I don’t really have any other plans today other than seeing you. I guess that’s fine.”

Vicouryn lets one of her hands slip down beneath the comforters, to trail down their warm skin, clearly heading to their core, but perhaps she should, as she usually does, work them up for a while before actually letting any release happen. 

“Wonderful,” she says, shifting closer to kiss their cheek, “I do have a break, but it is not necessary for you to come visit me during it. If you must rest, then you may rest, and either way I will see you  _ tonight _ , and that is when the real fun will truly begin.”

“I think it’ll depend on- ah- how this goes,” Weiren gasps as she presses into their neck, “And, you know, if you want a sip-” Of course, she takes them up on that offer. Leaning over their body, one hand down between their legs and another bracing herself, she bites into that freshly-cleaned skin, and Weiren arches as she does, clearly feeling pleasure from the sensation. It’s been months since she tasted this blood, this divine blood that is so rich and delicious on her tongue, and she drinks slowly as she runs her fingers up and down Weiren’s core, finding soft folds. There’s already a bit of wetness, and she dips inside to find a bit more and spread it around. Their legs part on reflex, giving her a bit more access. Perhaps she should make them come while she’s biting them, like this, though it might take a while and honestly it’d be easier to use her mouth rather than her fingers.

What she is most excited for, of course, is being able to use the new toys, the enchanted ones that will allow her to come inside them, with a conjured substance that disappears after some time, and she hopes it will bring them endless pleasure. But that is all for later.

She finishes drinking, all the while fingering them languidly, slowly building that arousal, and she licks at their neck, cleaning up any spilling blood. She’ll need to mark them, too, because all of those have disappeared over the months, and obviously their body needs to be under her name.

“I thought of you—ah—every night, you know,” the paladin says softly, their throat thrumming under her tongue, “I missed you so much.” Her heart swells, knowing that they felt the pain of their separation just as much as her.

“I, as well,” she murmurs, rising to kiss their jaw, “I found myself unable to rest properly without you alongside me for quite awhile.”

“Hopefully now, though, you’ll be able to sleep soundly. Or trance, I guess,” Weiren says, “I know I will.”

“Indeed,” she returns, leaving behind their core to focus on mouthing along their skin, “Rest will come much easier, now. I’ll be able to rouse you with pleasure again.”

Weiren laughs at that, and she leans her forehead against theirs as they smile.

“Fun,” they say, “I can’t wait.”

“You won’t need to wait for much longer, however,” she continues, “You will spend the rest of this morning in the throes of pleasure.”

Whatever they are planning to say in response is interrupted by a moan as Vicouryn returns to touching them, her finger dipping further inside as her thumb slips over their clitoris. 

“Pleasure you will be unable to escape from,” she continues, whispering beside their ear, now feeling a bit devious. “You will be here, at the mercy of my touch for however long I deem necessary. I’ll touch you,  _ fuck _ you, and make you come over and over, relentessly. You are  _ mine _ , you are  _ my  _ Weiren,  _ my  _ sunflower, and I own your pleasure, I  _ control  _ it, your pleasure and your body, because  _ you  _ want me to.”

The paladin under her squirms as she speaks, their breaths coming as gasps, and she delights to hear it.

“After so long a time, now that you are back in my manor, I will make certain to take very, very good care of you. I will fill all of your hours with pleasure, playing with your body, filling  _ you  _ with  _ me,  _ because those parts of you are under  _ my  _ jurisdiction.” She thrusts her fingers in deeper, crooking them as they moan beside her. “Whenever I want, and whenever you want, too. In the day and the night, wherever we so choose. You gave it all to me, after all. You  _ love _ me.”

“Ha-,  _ yes _ , I did, Vi-Vicouryn! I’m—ng—all, all yours, I want to be yours,  _ thank you _ , I love you, so much-” They inhale sharply as she bites them again, not to drain but simply to mark, and their blush deepens as their sounds spill from them. A few moments later and she pulls away, kissing that spot.

“I am grateful, and I love you, too,” she says fondly, and she can only continue to touch them for the rest of the morning, happy to please them, happy to love them in the way she knows best.

***

Another break, and as she hoped, Weiren is there.

“I have a proposition, love,” Vicouryn says as they come together, their hands warm against her back.

“Hm?” Weiren tilts their head just a bit. She’s a little surprised they showed up, to be honest, because she really went ham this morning as a sort of welcome-back gift, and she thought they’d keep resting.

“While it is fortunate we obtained these trinkets, we did so in haste and without much thought,” she says, her eyes flicking down to Weiren’s throat, where a thin silver chain holds an elegant metallic moonflower. She lifts a hand to tap it indicatively. “I believe it would be beneficial if I had them enchanted.”

“Enchanted?” Weiren repeats, glancing down, and then they look to her, realization dawning, “Oh! You mean for communication?” There’s a certain note of excitement in their voice that relieves her, because she was worried they might not want to, though she wouldn’t know why.

“Yes,” she affirms, “Though I may put in some time to learn the spells myself in the future, it would be useful for the both of us to be able to contact the other. I would be more at peace when you leave knowing you are safe.” She didn’t have the time to study it before, and certainly not while she is queen during this period of reconstruction. 

Weiren pulls her into a tight hug that she doesn’t quite expect, but her heart swells as they press their head into her shoulder.

“You worry so much about me,” they say softly, “thank you.”

A flush comes to her face but she simply holds them closer.

“It is only natural,” she returns, “the world is dangerous.” 

They laugh lightly against her.

“True,” they say as they pull away, “I’d also rest easier being able to hear from you more often. I get worried even though I know you’re as well-protected as you can be.”

Worry for her? She is in no danger; they are the one venturing out beyond the walls, but she supposes it must come alongside their love for her, and her blush feels as if it intensifies.

“Then you are alright with this? Shall I have them enchanted?” Vicouryn asks, schooling her face as best she can.

“Of course,” Weiren agrees, “I’d love to.”

“Then I will,” the queen returns, pleased, and with delicate hands she reaches behind their neck, underneath the waving dark locks of their hair to find the clasp.

“You want me to get yours?” They offer softly, and with her nod they return the favor, pulling the sunflower free.

“Come,” she says next, both necklaces safely in her hand, “I did want to ask your opinion on another aspect of this.” With her other hand she holds theirs, leading them back to the desk of the study where a small box sits. 

“Oh?” Weiren follows with a smile, curious of this topic.

Well, this part is a bit more embarrassing. 

“The chain of the necklace is fine, but now that we are no longer in such a haste, I was wondering if you might prefer something else,” Vicouryn says, and opening the box reveals a cushioned interior and an assortment of other necklaces, though these do not bear any charm. There’s other chains, some ribbons, and, well…

“Oh, wow,” they said, leaning over to get a better look, “I’ve never really thought about that before.”

Of course Weiren, who never ornaments themself unless it is necessary or by Vicouryn’s request, has never thought about jewelry customization. The only accessory they wear is that chain that holds their holy symbol, which is required for them to be able to channel their divine powers.

“I don’t have much experience in these kinds of things,” they say after another moment, but then they pause while looking over them. “Do you think I could have multiple? One for when I’m here, and one for when I’m away?”

At Vicouryn’s inquisitive look, they blush and pick up one of the options, and she’s briefly frozen because they’re holding the delicate fabric choker with the slightest bit of lace, which she included because of her  _ own  _ desire borne from darker thoughts and didn’t think they would pick. Because, well, beyond it being a real accessory that some do wear, it  _ does  _ sort of call to mind the image of a… collar of some sorts. 

She coughs. 

“I was just thinking I’d like to have a nicer one while I’m here, but while I’m out I think I’d feel better if I could tuck it underneath my armor, so it’s safe. Even if it’s enchanted I’d want to make sure it wouldn’t be damaged,” they explain. 

Ah.

“So you would want to be able to switch between them,” she says, understanding while trying not to conjure images of Weiren with the top of their dress pulled down around their shoulders and that black silk gently wrapped around their neck with a moonflower at their throat, looking completely and utterly  _ hers _ in a way that is a little too distracting and quite frankly more than ever imagined. “I am sure we could have that done. Is that the one you would want for here?” She gestures to the lacey choker.

Weiren looks up with a little grin.

“It is, but I also thought that it’d be your favorite, too,” they say innocently, holding it up to their neck, “was I right?” 

Vicouryn holds the reaction down, only averting her gaze to the side just a bit as her face warms further. She shouldn’t be surprised that they can guess what she might like. Weiren laughs again, nothing but warmth in their voice, and she knows they aren’t judging her, just teasing her in a lighthearted fashion. She doesn’t reply; she knows her reaction is enough.

“Knowing that you like it makes  _ me  _ like it more,” they say, replacing the fabric down in the box with a careful hand and a fond smile. Vicouryn’s heart can’t take much more of this.

“You  _ must  _ be aware,” She says, drawing their attention again as she slides a hand to their face, “that whenever you say such things it makes  _ me  _ want to touch you until you can’t even speak anymore.” She gives them a raised eyebrow and a challenging look, answering to their banter.

“Then maybe it’s a good thing that I like to say them,” Weiren returns in a low tone, “You know there’s nothing stopping you.”

The paladin before her is so much more playful, so much more confident than the meek adventurer of years past. That Weiren, though they did joke a bit, is so much bolder now with her, unafraid of her,  _ wanting  _ her and her attention, so much so that they tease her. She loves this Weiren, so much. 

And so she will return the sentiment in kind.

“Alas,” she says, letting her hand fall from their face, “I am certain you must be tired, and I have other work to do. Perhaps you should rest for now; I will have the trinkets sent to the enchanter.” Gods she wants nothing more than to push them against the wall and kiss them until their lips are tired, to make them yearn for further intimacy that they will have to wait for. But she wants to save it all for tonight; she wants to take them to the gardens and give them her words and letter, and perhaps  _ then  _ spend the rest of the night making love to them.

“Oh,” Weiren says with a sigh, a little downcast, “Are you sure?”

_ Is  _ she sure?

“Hm,” she hums inquisitively, “If you desire it so much, perhaps I can give you a little taste.” Nothing beyond an exchange of lips, especially because this break is not a long one. 

Vicouryn is briefly startled by Weiren coming closer, their heels coming up as they gaze at her, and then they press a warm kiss to her cheek in a way she isn’t expecting. 

“Only if you want,” they say as they draw back, “I was away for months; I’d always love to spend more time with you.”

Hm, well, the chaise lounge  _ is  _ right there, isn’t it? Vicouryn pulls them closer, locking eyes. Even if they don’t get too intimate she is quite taken with holding them in her arms for the remnant of this break, at the very least.

“Of course I do.”


	11. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vicouryn can finally, properly, confess her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im alive and this is almost done

Vicouryn cannot stop smiling through the rest of her work day. It  _ is  _ subtle enough that most people don’t really notice it, but she knows she is doing it. There is even a brief moment where she surprises herself by  _ humming _ for a short few minutes. 

She  _ finally  _ told Weiren her feelings, and though perhaps she had an unseemly emotional outburst, she loves them, and they love her, and now the both of them  _ know _ . After so long, they can trust in their shared love, and soon she will find more time with them. Time when she leads them outside to present the remnants of her planned confession, and then take them back to the bedroom and spend the remainder of the night and perhaps even the next day with them, with the person she loves above anything else.

Her eyes fall briefly on the thin box at the corner of her desk, where a lace choker rests alongside a few other accessories, and she laughs under her breath as Weiren’s voice comes to mind.  _ I thought it’d be your favorite. Was I right?  _ How delightful, how wonderful! Among the many fun objects she obtained specifically for her time with Weiren perhaps she did include leather straps in the form of harnesses and a collar, just in case. Tying them to the bed is one thing but dressing them in these is another delicious improvement. Even some magic she learned in secret, just to perhaps find  _ more  _ ways to restrain and pleasure them, but only if they are interested in such a thing. She hopes they will want to explore all these new things with her, for she thinks they will quite enjoy them. As she is still queen, she is limited in the things she can do with them, but at very least she  _ can  _ make their sex even more interesting, even more enjoyable.

Beyond her queendom, what  _ would  _ a date even look like? The kind where they venture somewhere beyond her castle, perhaps even beyond Mevaden? She did read a few of Weiren’s romance novels for assistance in writing her love letter, and found out what seemed to be common for a date: window shopping, eating at restaurants, going to circuses or music shows… there are many options but she isn’t even sure what they would want to do. She’d still be limited to cloudy days or nighttime only, unless there was some other way she could protect herself from sunlight. Perhaps a parasol, though it’d be a hassle. Maybe enchanted, but she’s possibly splurged a bit too much on enchanted items recently. For good reason, of course, but still.

And not only is the possibility of actual future dates quite enticing, but her devious brain also wants to take Weiren somewhere after putting a toy in them. A party that they could leave early or a restaurant with sweet cakes, maybe simply a  _ walk _ about, and all the while she’d know of their little secret...

She coughs. Perhaps she should just call her work done for now and retire, because she is not doing a good job of focusing.

***

Vicouryn’s plan has been briefly delayed, but at the very least she is practically in heaven.

“By the way,” Weiren says above her, “Thank you for taking care of my plants while I was away.” Their hand runs along the side of her face and then drifts along the slope of her neck, and she sighs in satisfaction as she smiles, a faint heat rising to her cheeks. 

“Of course,” she murmurs in return, shifting her head so that it is better cushioned by Weiren’s legs, “I could not let them wither away.”

Weiren asked her to lay on their lap when she returned from work. They wanted her to relax after all her meetings, though she did not mention how unproductive she was.

“I appreciate it,” the paladin says, continuing to touch with their gentle, feather-light fingers, petting her. They go from face to neck, to shoulder and back, all the way down to her waist before tracing back up to her face. She’s never really been tended to like this before, but Weiren is so affectionate and open with their touch that Vicouryn is practically melting. “You did a really good job! I didn’t know that you knew about gardening at all.”

She smiles again, turning her face into their lap to conceal it. “It is only what you deserve.” It’s true, she thinks. It is the bare minimum for her to do these things for them. Weiren laughs lightly and they pet her again, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear. There’s a brief silence for a bit, the two relaxing in the firelight when Weiren’s hands pause in their motions. Vicouryn shifts again, unhappy with that, curling more against them in dissatisfaction and it prompts the paladin to resume, laughing again.

“Sorry, sorry,” they say, “I was just thinking… this reminds me of when we first started properly meeting. In the study, when you called me to the audience after the Blood Vow.”

Vicouryn remembers that time. It is a time she thinks of quite often. She’d boldly taken Weiren into her arms, and the conversation had faded away. Perhaps half an hour into it, Weiren’s head lolled and they slumped further against her, sliding down from chest until their head was cushioned by her lap. 

_ “Weiren,” she says in a low tone, but there is no response. Adrenaline flicks through her body as she stares down at them, only able to see the profile of the paladin’s head. They couldn’t have fallen asleep, could they? But their breaths are low and relaxed, their eyes closed, and their chest rises and falls in an even pattern. _

_ That makes no sense. She’s been scaring them since they first met. There is no way Weiren would have become comfortable enough to fall asleep before her, let alone on her. Any of her subjects would rather die than do such a thing. Surely Weiren didn’t do this intentionally, but somehow they’d been lulled into sleep by being against her.  _

_ She’s never really experienced this before. Perhaps she’s seen Nahlia fall asleep at her desk once or twice, but never on her lap. And here Weiren is, snoring softly, a mane of dark hair spilling over her legs. A few minutes pass with no change, and she cautiously leans forward to get a better view of the elf’s face. Though she’s seen them before, she hasn’t had the opportunity to truly get a good look. They have soft but defined cheekbones, thick eyebrows, and a curved, almost hooked nose. She can’t help but slow her trailing gaze when she reaches their lips, and beyond that is a sturdy chin and jaw. Her eyes flick back up, and with a delicate hand she turns their head to face upright, to see more than just the profile.  _

_ Exactly what kind of a person has she allowed to be this close? Weiren doesn’t stir, perhaps exhausted from the events of the last few days, and she holds their cheek carefully as she looks them over again, the main point of asymmetry on their face being from a particular lock of hair on the left side. With another hand she pushes it aside, but absently she twirls it around her finger as well.  _

_ She does not get the opportunity to touch someone else’s hair that frequently, after all.  _

_ Of course, Vicouryn can do nothing more. This relationship is new and fragile, but with this unexpected show of vulnerability she doesn’t know what to think. It means the paladin doesn’t fear her, at least not anymore. She has nothing to gain by hurting them, and she has the rare chance to explore touch with someone who would not harm her.  _

_ Touch has been scarce for her. It has been several decades since the last time she found someone she allowed this close. Shallow touches as well as intimate ones, she had forgotten what they felt like. There is no sense of thinking of intimate ones, not this early in this arrangement, but she can’t help but wonder, gazing down at this gentle elf. Her fingers brush across their lower lip as they exhale, warm air coming against her. Of course not just the temptation of touch but the temptation of  _ warmth _ taunts her, as it has in all her centuries.  _

_ Not them, she knows. It isn’t them in particular. They just happen to be the one before her right now, close enough to touch, close enough for more. Whenever the opportunity comes she is taken by the possibilities, not by the person. It could be anyone else and she’d be thinking of the same things. _

_ She traces the frame of their face, as gently as she can manage for she doesn’t want them to wake, but again they return to their lips. Foolish. Her hand retreats to the edges of their visage. After so many minutes now of staring down at them, she has to admit that they are quite pleasing to look at. A little rugged with bits of facial hair, but with a peaceful and kindly look to them overall.  _

_ Actually, quite beautiful in a way she doesn’t normally see in others. They aren’t wearing any makeup, nor are they trying to pretty themselves up, but she is quite taken by their face, by their strong body. She wonders about their experiences, about their adventures. There is nothing she can even do but continue to watch, and continue to touch, but in a more cautious manner. She reigns her thoughts in as best she can, because they can do nothing for her, but at the very least perhaps when they awake she will be the first thing they see, the first thing they feel. If she can make them feel comfortable and safe, then they will be amenable to another meeting. She must continue this strange relationship, and though she knows it could be any other person in the right circumstance, she is relieved it is them, because even though she is a vampire, even though she has already hurt them, Weiren is willing to help, to forgive. Somehow she feels as though she can trust them, and not just because she knows they understand the difference in their power. _

“You’d fallen asleep,” the queen notes after a pause, “on  _ my  _ lap.”

She hadn’t done it, of course, but she’d thought about it in a fleeting manner. What it would be like to perhaps venture beyond holding to kissing them, that is. She’d thought about it for the few hours that Weiren slept on her, but she doesn’t have to wonder, anymore. Did her feelings start back then? She’d called it intrigue at the time, but knowing how she feels now, she wonders when her emotions shifted. Whatever it was, they’d caught her interest.

“I don’t think I’ve ever slept on someone else like that,” they admit, caressing her shoulder, “I can’t believe I fell asleep.”

“Hm,” she returns, “I don’t blame you. It  _ is  _ a comfortable position.” Not that  _ she  _ would fall asleep like that. “I was very… intrigued. We’d only met a few times and yet you left yourself defenseless. After I’d drained you  _ twice _ . Were I you, I would not have even attended that meeting.”

There’s another brief pause as Weiren sits on those words.

“I mean, it was the first time I’d ever even been  _ held _ . I didn’t realize how comfortable it could be. I didn’t realize how comfortable  _ you  _ could be. And I don’t think you would have drained me again.”

She blushes, but as always it is subtle and she’s hiding it away.

“I still do not quite understand how you view me as  _ comforting _ , but I am glad that you were satisfied with my companionship back then.” She won’t ever understand, probably. How is it comfortable to be touched by someone as cold as her? “You hadn’t even been held before that?”

Again, just  _ how  _ many firsts has she taken from them?

“Well, I mean, I’ve hugged people,” they say, “sometimes. I think that was the first  _ hold _ . You were a lot of firsts for me, I guess. I never had the chance to explore anything physical with anyone.”

A lot of firsts, they say. Her shoulders sink.

“A lot of firsts… your first kiss,” she says flatly, and as the memory returns she closes her eyes, because that must surely have been the worst kind a person could have gotten. Powered by her pride and desire to display her control, that kiss had been…  _ bad _ .

“Well, technically I’d tried that once before,” Weiren corrects, “It just… didn’t go anywhere.”

“Still,” she says, “the first kiss someone gave  _ you _ .” She scoffs, disgusted. They’d already had a mediocre first one and she’d just given them another. “Were I able to revisit that time I’d have done it properly.” Back then she’d been unable to handle being held. She’d been unable to handle letting her guard down. And yet now here she is, her head pillowed by Weiren’s soft and strong legs, their hands stroking her gently as if she were a cat.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Weiren protests, “I think the one the morning after was pretty good.”

Oh, yes… That time, Weiren surprised  _ her  _ with their eagerness. She’d been meaning to show them what a kiss could be like when they’d done their best to reciprocate in a way she hadn’t expected. Vicouryn sits up, shaking her head.

“Perhaps,” she says, brushing the hair out of her face and gazing at Weiren, “But I didn’t do that first one right.” With a hand she reaches for their cheek. “Perhaps I should try again.” 

They smile.

She pulls their face towards hers and plants a soft kiss on their warm lips. Weiren’s hand finds her free one, entwining their fingers as their body relaxes, and she leans her forehead against theirs as she breaks the kiss.

“That one was nice,” Weiren whispers against her.

“I don’t think it was quite good enough,” Vicouryn answers, scooting closer, “Let me try again.” She lets go of their hand to find their waist, pulling them towards her, and their lips meet again, but she deepens it, biting gently on their lower lip as they gasp. Then again, she pulls away.

“What about that one?” Weiren asks with a little smile, their face a little red. The queen shakes her head again.

“I know I can do better,” she says, a playful hint to her tone, “That one wasn’t satisfactory.”

Weiren laughs, and then she pulls them in again to  _ really  _ kiss them, using all of her techniques, finding their tongue and playing alongside it with hers, making them breathless as she tries to make up for her past, to make up for all her mistakes, for handling them poorly for so long. She leans forward, pressing Weiren against the sloped back of the chaise lounge, and they hug her waist close as they kiss. A few more moments, and their lips part, Weiren now needing to catch up on air as she smiles down at them.

“That one was alright, I suppose,” she says, backing away, and Weiren rolls their eyes in a playful fashion, “What do you think, love?”

“I love  _ all  _ your kisses,” they shoot back, and they pull her down to a close embrace, “Just like I love  _ you _ , as well.”

Those tender words, that sentiment of love… it fills her heart with warmth as well as embarrassment as she returns the hug.

“That one will have to do for now,” she sighs, and then, glancing to the side as her face warms, “I love you, too.”

Ah, speaking of confessions.

“I do have something for you, Weiren,” Vicouryn says, “Though unfortunately we will have to get up.”

“But we’re all cozy right now,” they say, and she can hear their smile in their voice. She, too, is loath to get up, but she steels herself and pulls away from Weiren.

“I assure you, we may resume afterwards,” she tells them, extending a hand to help them out. They take it, rising alongside her.

“Well, I suppose that’s fine,” they answer with a light laugh, and she leads them towards the balcony. Already she feels flutters of anticipation. Her letter is already awaiting them at the gazebo; how will they feel about it? Now used to her method of reaching the gardens, they step forward and allow her to gather them up in her arms, a bundle of sunlight and bunched fabric against her. Another step, a quiet leap, and she lands in the shadowy patch beneath the balcony, Weiren’s arms around her neck as they hang on.

“Here we are,” she says, setting them down.

“You know what?” Weiren glances at her as they rearrange their skirt. “I can’t believe I never thought of this, but we should take the flying carpet out one of these nights.”

Now  _ that  _ thought gives her pause. That would be quite an easy way to leave Mevaden in a stealthy manner, and they’d be able to return quickly.

“I’ve only ever used it for utility, but now that I’m here with you…” they trail off, looking from her to the sky, “I think that could be very fun.”

Technically, flight is nothing new to Vicouryn. She has the capabilities to shift her form into a raven, and thus she has flown before, but it has been a long while, and it was never beyond the walls of her kingdom. And this time, she’d be with  _ Weiren _ .

“I am interested,” she says, “Perhaps later tonight, or another time. For now, come.” She takes their hand and begins to walk, navigating the familiar grounds alongside her paladin.

“Issiel’s been hard at work,” Weiren comments, gazing fondly across the various flowers that have bloomed in their absence. There’s much more color now, splashes of red and purple and yellow, though their hue is shifted in the blue of the night sky. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is more pleasing than before,” Vicouryn agrees, looking at them through the corner of her eye. She really thinks it’s Weiren standing among all these flowers that makes the scene so wonderful.

“I’m glad you like it, too.” Weiren gives her a smile, squeezing her hand, and she can’t help but return it with a subtle smile of her own. She wonders what they might look like adorned with the flowers around them, with more color beyond the dark wardrobe she had made for them. Perhaps she should talk to Freya again…

When the gazebo comes into view, Weiren audibly gasps. Large, white, moonflower blooms curl up the columns, reflecting the moonlight enough so that they practically glow. With a wave of Vicouryn’s free hand, a few orbs of soft, golden light form in the interior.

“Oh, wow,” the paladin breathes, quite taken in with the scene, “They grew so well!”

“They did,” she agrees, leading them closer. They keep looking about, head turning to take in all the sights, and she watches with her periphery, a satisfaction welling in her heart as she witnesses their joy. A few more steps, and the two of them enter the gazebo, Vicouryn praying internally the whole while. The basket is already there, and finally Weiren’s gaze falls on it, and they gasp again.

“Vicouryn, is this for me?” They say, eyes wide as they take in  _ that  _ sight, and she hopes they don’t notice how sweaty her hand is. 

“Yes,” she says, avoiding their gaze. The basket is full of gifts, such as more seeds, more flowers, a container of cookies and other less-sweet sweets, anything she could think of that they might like. It was so damn hard because they already have everything they could ever want, but gods as long as she could make them  _ smile _ -

“Thank you!” Weiren throws their arms around her as they laugh. “That’s so sweet of you!” Her cheeks burn; she is already full of adrenaline from this uncharacteristic display of affection but she hasn’t even given them the stupid letter yet, and she might just up and die when she gets to that point. Her discipline surfaces as she tries to get a handle on all these emotions, and she reciprocates the hug before pulling back.

Wait, how does she even say this?

“That is not all,” she says, and internally smacks her forehead. They look up at her curiously, expectantly, and her words fall away. Uh. Fuck. The silence drags on as she stares at them, but then she has to look away, their expression  _ too  _ earnest for her to handle. “A missive,” she finally appends, before remembering that she hid the letter behind the basket. With a quick motion of her fingers she conjures the paper in her hand behind Weiren, and then brings it in front of them.

_ Missive? _ Gods. Stupid. 

“A letter?” The paladin blinks, stepping back to take it in hand. On the back is  _ Weiren _ written out in her best script, and on the front there is a red wax seal. There’s a brief moment as they look at it quizzically, and realization dawns on her that it isn’t even clear she’s the one who wrote it because she’s never done such a thing before. And she referred to it as a  _ missive _ and sealed it with wax in an official-looking envelope, almost as if it were a formal message for business. Weiren’s notes to her were cute, informal, and a little messy. Good gods, what has she done?

Weiren sent her  _ multiple _ , pre-wrote her  _ multiple _ letters, and she has never sent a reply before?  _ This _ is her first damn letter to them? In retrospect she feels like an idiot. To be fair, whatever druids they went to train with didn’t  _ have  _ an address so it wasn’t like she could have done much, but still. At least with the necklaces they’ll be able to communicate in the future.

“Yes, a letter. Why don’t we take a seat so that you may read it?” She suggests, considering banging her head against the pillar beside her, and then she realizes that means she is going to have to sit there and  _ wait  _ while they read it, something so incredibly embarrassing she might just pass into the next life. 

“I’d love to.” Weiren’s smile turns into a knowing one as they sit down across from her. Vicouryn’s hand rises to her forehead, her thumb pressing into her temple and her palm obscuring one of her eyes as the paladin begins to open the envelope. She can’t  _ not  _ feel horribly self-conscious in this situation, and she turns her gaze away, trying to find something else to look at, but she can’t help but sneak glances back at them. A few petals fall from the envelope as they pull out the folded paper, prompting another soft smile from them. 

And then they unfold the letter and begin to read.

_ Fuck _ . Why did she do this again? Why did she not just leave it for them to find and then come find them afterwards?

_ Because,  _ she reminds herself,  _ they deserve the most direct and heartfelt confession _ . It’s right for her to be there; she’s literally confessing her own stupid feelings to them. 

So stupid that this is so embarrassing for her. Ninety-nine percent of the time she can manage anything. She can wear her stone expression and hide her reactions to practically anything in the damn world, and she’s been able to do that for literal centuries. But writing a letter full of feelings and watching the recipient read it is something of a whole other sort of torture. She’s anxious because she knows practically nothing about anything romantic and all her knowledge stems from  _ them  _ and the few novels of theirs she skimmed, and the bits of advice Nahlia gave her. What if her letter falls flat? What if it wasn’t perfectly romantic in the way they want most? She gave them her feelings early by accident so this isn’t a big surprise, but what if they find it so awkward and painful that they no longer are attracted to her?

Is this stupid self-doubt what Weiren experienced so frequently prior to their return to Mevaden? 

There’s an exhale that draws their attention and her eyes immediately flick back to them. There’s a hand pressed to their mouth, and then if she isn’t mistaken, there’s a shine in their eyes.

_ Fuck! _ Oh no. Oh gods.

The shine spills down in the form of a tear, and then another, and she’s frozen in fear. Are they good tears? Nearly all of their tears, from her experience, have been from pain or vulnerability.  _ Read their thoughts _ , something in her mind says, but she doesn’t want to intrude like that, not on them. The paladin reaches up a sleeve to absorb the tears, and then they’re laughing weakly.

“I’m sorry, I just-” they say, and then they hiccup, and finally Vicouryn regains control of her body and she rushes to their side, terrified, worried. Do they want her comfort? In this situation? Tentatively she reaches out, and immediately they lean into her, their arms coming around her as they gasp. Hot tears hit her neck as they press their face into her shoulder, “ _ Thank you _ , Vicouryn, thank you. I love you  _ so  _ much.”

She doesn’t know how to take that. They’re crying, and yet they’re thanking her, telling her that they love her, but they’re  _ crying!  _ What does she say, what does she do? She tightens her hold on them uncertainly.

“I… as well,” she says hesitantly, “Weiren, love, what… what is wrong?”

They laugh through their tears, swaying side to side as they hold her.

“Nothing, these are good tears, I promise,” they say, “I’m  _ happy _ .”

Happy?

“This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read,” Weiren sighs against her, hugging her tighter, “And I’m not even done. I just… I know you said this yesterday, but  _ seeing  _ it like this… I just never really thought… I never really thought someone would feel like this for me, would do this kind of thing for me.”

Vicouryn lets out a sigh and squeezes them back. Even with their growth they still harbored that fear deep down. In a way she can’t understand, but in others she can. Kind and warm as they are, they are also reserved and withdrawn. Like her, they had walls around their heart, similar but still different. After all, they are both familiar with solitude.

“It is what you deserve,” she says, and there aren’t even enough words for her to properly express it, “You foster life and hope in those around you, enrich the earth with your care, protect those who cannot protect themselves. You are kind, and funny, and wonderful. You are calm and gentle, and you have affected me more than I ever thought possible.”

Vicouryn pulls back to look at them, cupping their face with a gentle hand. With her thumb she brushes away a tear as Weiren manages a watery smile.

“I did not even think I was capable of it,” she confesses, “My heart does not beat, not like yours, and yet because of  _ you _ , I felt it. I wanted so desperately to love you, to reciprocate your love, and somewhere along the way I realized I had already done so. Do you realize how much I thought of you? How much I looked forward to every moment with you? How much lonelier I was when you were away?” The words spill out; she wants so badly to convey how strong her love is, how strong her love was all along, because Weiren above anyone else deserves to know. “ _ You  _ awakened this emotion in someone as cold as me, someone who has been cold and unfeeling for  _ centuries _ , and I want to hold onto this love for you. I  _ want  _ to love you as best as I can.” She can’t help but keep talking, her words becoming more forceful, more impassioned, and she’s never spoken like this before. 

Weiren’s smile grows as more tears run down their face, and a few moments pass as Vicouryn’s words slow down, now unsure of what else to add.

“That is to say… well, I… I do love you, Weiren,” she finishes awkwardly, except they clearly already know that by now. They already found out the prior night, after all. “I will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.”

“I love you, too,” they return, reaching up to touch the hand she has on their face. Another motion, and they lean forward to kiss her cheek. When they withdraw she has to cast her eyes down, adrenaline pulsing through her chest.  _ That  _ was a crazy torrent of emotion that is still going, overwhelming and unfamiliar.

“Perhaps you should finish the letter,” she quickly says, letting go of them so that she can sit back down and hopefully calm her body, but Weiren just leans against her.

“I will,” they say, “Fair warning: I might keep crying.”

“As long as they are all good tears,” Vicouryn returns, managing another glance down at their face. How is it that  _ she  _ has made them so happy that they cried? The both of them simply cannot see their own worth. She supposes that’s just how it is with the self; she simply cannot look at herself in the way they see her, and same for them. All she can do is trust that they love her, and to love them in kind.

“They are,” Weiren assures her, and continues to read. The minutes pass in a more calm fashion, Vicouryn a little less anxious now that she’d spilled her feelings, and content to feel the paladin warm against her side. Worries melt away to just pure affection, and she wishes she was alive so that she could give them warmth like they do her. At least in the summer it is not so cold out.

Finally, Weiren folds the letter back up, and they look up at her with a bright smile.

“Thank you, again,” they say happily, “It looks like you put a lot of work into it, and I’m going to keep it.” A lot of work, indeed. She’s a little embarrassed at how many drafts she went through, toiling through the night and even a bit into the sunrise, trying to make it perfect.

“Of course,” she says, “It was how I originally planned to… return my feelings. There are the other gifts, too.” Ah, they, too, would keep her letter. Just like how she has kept all of theirs, and how she will continue to keep every single one. She will treasure them all, for the rest of her years.

“Oh, right!” Weiren exclaims, standing up to take a closer look at the basket. She follows, now feeling a bit more pride well up inside her. After nights of endless practice, she became quite good at crafting lemon cookies. They’re a little bland on her tongue, but Nahlia assured her that they were delicious. “What’s this?”

“Why don’t you open it?” Vicouryn says as Weiren lifts the little package of cookies out of the basket with a curious grin. They pull the ribbon free and the cheesecloth falls open, and they gasp.

“Lemon cookies? Did you make these?” They pick one up, turning it in their hands.

“Yes,” she answers, pride welling inside of her, “Try it.” The paladin takes a bite, and their smile grows larger. Thank the  _ gods _ .

“It’s delicious,” they say happily, and Vicouryn sighs in relief. “I’m sad I missed out on you baking, but I really appreciate this! Maybe tomorrow we can make something together.”

“That can be done.” Vicouryn is a little nervous, however, because she mastered exactly  _ one  _ recipe, not the art of baking, so hopefully whatever it is will be similar enough to the cookies that she can manage it. Maybe.

“Oh! I’ve never seen these seeds before.” The cookies set aside, the paladin takes a look at the other gifts in the basket.

“They are exotic,” Vicouryn answers, “From Sheokar, and some from Rura, as well. A few from Brauven and Vangath, too. One even from the Isles of Val Kranz.”

“Vangath!” Weiren exclaims, “It’s been awhile. Thank you!”

“I figured you would need a place for these plants, as well,” the vampire adds, and with a hand taps on the basket handle and whispers a few words in elvish. The handle expands, roughly to the size of a doorframe, and Weiren gasps again, for in that frame is another space: the interior of a greenhouse, though it is dark inside. “There is a magical item to produce daylight as well. Unfortunately I am uncertain on what will happen with the gardens here, and it would be a shame if you had to move all your plants, so at the very least you may have this space.”

“This is amazing,” Weiren breathes, and then looks to her in confusion, “What do you mean? Is something going to happen?”

Vicouryn taps again on the basket, and it shrinks back to its normal state, dissipating the image of that magical pocket space, and sighs.

“There will be change in Mevaden,” she begins, matching their eyes seriously, “Though we have not figured out all of the details, there will not be a monarchy anymore, not for much longer. It is not decided on if the manor will remain mine, or if it will be turned entirely into a government building. While it is my family’s, I am not opposed to finding a new home elsewhere in the city.” In some ways, a bit of a fresh start sounds nice. In others, well, she doesn’t want anyone to happen upon the coffins in the hidden rooms of the castle. There is also the possibility that there will simply be a town hall to be constructed, instead.

“What about you?” Weiren asks, their eyebrows drawing together in concern.

“Most likely after my reign I will become an advisor to the council,” she says, glancing away, “Perhaps. Though I am interested in the prospect of having others to bear the burden of rule, I am reluctant to fully trust them to do their jobs properly. It is possible that there will be some other elected official to preside over the council, and I am considering that, as well.” Mevaden may have been her prison but she is loath to let it fall to ruin without her. She  _ has  _ been planning, already, ways that she may maintain some amount of control. Some of the nobles are more self-serving, and she will  _ not  _ let them hurt her people.

Honestly, she is already regretting agreeing to step down as queen. It will be a bit harder to hide her vampirism, but she thinks she can manage it. If she has to cloud a few memories, then she can do so.

“You’re okay with it?” Weiren continues, and she looks back at their earnest expression. She learned to rely on them, and perhaps she may learn to rely on the other council members, too.

“Perhaps. I do not know, yet,” she answers honestly, “I will figure out what happens. I always do.” She is confident that she will form the best plan of action, and hopefully lead Mevaden to a better place in the future.

“Let me know if you need anything. I want to help out,” Weiren says, squeezing her hand, “But I know you can do it.” She squeezes back, and then sighs again.

“Thank you. However, with how slow everything is going, I am going to have to ask for your patience. You have already been so incredibly patient with me, but until I am no longer queen, I am uncertain if I will be able to do anything more for you. You deserve more than this secrecy, but I fear for your safety if word got out.” She holds Weiren’s hand with both of hers, frowning down at it. “I am afraid you will need to wait more before I can give you a proper relationship. As I am right now, I cannot give you the proper treatment you deserve, and for that, I am deeply sorry.”

The paladin makes a small laugh.

“Don’t worry about that,” Weiren says, smiling up at her, “I’ve never viewed any of this as waiting; we’re just doing the best we can in our situation. I’m just happy to spend time with you whenever we can. We both have things we need to do, but as long as we can make time for each other, we’ll be alright. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

They truly have a heart of gold, and she pulls them into another hug.

***

“Oh, gods.” Vicouryn grips Weiren a little more firmly as the two of them ascend. Experience or not with flying, she simply hasn’t done it at all in a long time, and the sensation is unexpected.

“Hang on,” Weiren says, their own hands occupied with holding the edge of the carpet and steering it up. There’s a few thick clouds in the night sky, but the moon is large and bright. The wind rushes through her hair, though Weiren tied theirs back so as not to get it in her face. A small blessing, but a welcome one, and a few more seconds before they soar right into a cloud. It’s chillier with all the mist, and then another second, and they burst out on top. Vicouryn can’t help it; she laughs out loud. She’s having  _ fun! _

There’s a flock of birds to the side, and Weiren calls out to them with their natural magic. The birds come to their side, flying with them, and one is bold enough to land on Weiren’s head and look back at her.

“Weiren!” She says quickly, surprised, and the bird caws at her as she stares.

“They’re friendly!” Weiren calls back, having to be loud as they fly through the wind. She’s not sure if she can trust the bird, but thankfully it takes off after catching a brief ride. They soar even higher, and the birds peel away. The two of them fly through even more clouds, until finally they break through that layer. “Look up.”

Vicouryn glances upwards and then gasps, because she’s never seen stars this clearly before. Without the firelight of the windows and lanterns of Mevaden, the light of the stars shine even stronger. She’d become so used to the walls and ceilings of her manor castle that she’d forgotten what it felt like to venture beyond Mevaden. Suddenly she’s full of a desire to see more, to go farther, to lay her eyes on the rest of Fadan, because she’s never left her home before, aside from boring travel to meet the other High Kings. How much is out there that she has yet to see? What  _ is  _ Brauven like? What is Kandor like? What is the rest of the world like beyond the inked drawings of her books? She’d never entertained travel for leisure before for many reasons; it was simply never even a possibility.

But Weiren has shown her this, and can show her  _ more _ .

“How beautiful,” she says, and she means it, and she wonders again how lucky she is to have found her love. The carpet slows until it is drifting leisurely, and Weiren turns to be side by side with her, a bright smile on their face. She reaches for their hand until she can thread their fingers together and lean against them.

Vicouryn is no romantic, but even she can tell that this is a perfect time to give them a kiss.

***

In a hilarious show of impatience and delight, the two tumble off the carpet as they soar directly into the open balcony doors, nearly taking the drapery with them. Vicouryn waves a hand nonchalantly to shut the doors and draw the curtains with a wisp of magic before immediately turning back to Weiren, who is laughing while sprawled out on the carpet. She wastes no time in making her way towards them; she is eager to make this night one of the best and to do so she is going to kiss them with reckless abandon. 

The vampire plants another kiss on their lips before gathering them up in her arms; she wants them to be comfortable, after all. A few steps and she tosses them down on the bed and leans over them, absolutely delighting in the image of them underneath her with flushed cheeks and a bright grin.

“Imagine,” she says, finding their wrists to pin down in the pillows beside their head, “Imagine having someone as wonderful as  _ you  _ beside me all this time, and never realizing how much I really cared for them. You graced me with love for so long even when I was foolish and oblivious.” Vicouryn shakes her head. She was foolish, but now she has years ahead of her to make up for it. 

“You took care of me,” Weiren says, “You treated me well.”

“Yes, but I could have loved you properly earlier if I’d realized it sooner,” the queen returns, one of her hands sliding from their wrist to brush the frame of their face. “I’d have been able to end the whole issue of your… unrequited love.”

“It’s okay,” the paladin says, “I didn’t mind-”

“I did,” she cuts them off, “I still  _ do _ . You are worthy of love, and you are worthy of being loved back.” Even if Weiren doesn’t care, she knows they deserve to be loved with the same vigor that they gave her. “But I suppose in the end, it is not unrequited anymore.”

There’s a brief silence as she gazes down at them, and then she draws them into a hug.

“I did not mean to interrupt you,” she says quietly, berating herself, “I just…”

“I know.” Weiren squeezes her tightly, and she sighs against them. “Thank you. If… if you don’t mind me asking, when exactly did you start feeling this way?”

“I am uncertain,” she confesses, pressing into their neck, “it was slow, and gradual. I did not accept it until some months ago, even before you left for your training. But I imagine I was developing feelings for a long, long time.” Long time, indeed. Back in Gedal she knows she waited impatiently for night to fall to see them. Back in Mevaden her interest had been piqued simply by their offer of blood when she needed it. “It is hard to say when interest turned to…  _ love _ , but you were in my thoughts quite frequently. Even in your first visit to Mevaden, I daresay I wondered what something more intimate with you might look like.”

“That long ago?” Weiren exclaims in surprise, “That long ago, you were interested in  _ me? _ ”

Vicouryn backs away to look at them with a stern expression.

“ _ Yes _ ,” she challenges, “Several years ago I was interested by the holy paladin that offered their blood to a  _ vampire _ , the paladin that tolerated my missteps with regards to dealing with them even though I wrongfully demanded more of their blood. I was interested in the paladin that gave  _ me  _ another chance and found comfort in the arms of an undead. We formed our arrangement, and I simply thought ahead. We started out very tame, after all, but I was interested in where we might go.” Of course, back then she hadn’t been considering any of it to be romantic, but intimacy is intimacy, even if she tried and failed to not to think about it. As always, there is no sense of thinking too far, but who even  _ has  _ sense?

Weiren is silent, blinking as they take in that information.

“Besides,” she continues, “you said as much in Gedal. You said that I wanted you, and you were right. Perhaps I teased you many of those nights, but are you aware of how much I thought about you in the day? Still foolishly labeling it intrigue, I’d thought of you during the war council, during meetings with the other kings. Perhaps I’d thought of it only as physical control, but a _business_ _partner_ would not have lost their thoughts so easily. I must have been falling victim to love then, already.”

Their blush is deepening, their gaze shifting as she speaks, as if they’re having trouble accepting this information. 

“The  _ point _ is,” she says, turning their face back to her, “I am  _ madly  _ in love with you, and I have been falling in love with you for longer than I know. It just took an inordinate amount of time for me to realize. Love does not come easily for me, and I am not one to open up to outsiders. Honestly, I feared it. Now, though, I  _ choose _ to love you, too. My love is not simply in return for yours, but it is something built from our time together. All of our time, even those few years ago. It was only allowed to grow because you gave me that chance.” She tucks a lock of hair behind their ear with a fond look. “So, thank  _ you,  _ Weiren, for helping me find this  _ love _ . Were it not for you, I don’t believe I would have found it.”

“Oh, no,” they whisper, squeezing their eyes shut, “I might cry again.”

“A good one?” She asks carefully.

“A good cry,” they answer, nodding against her hand.

“Then do so,” she says, “As long as you realize how much I love you, too.” She reaches to the nightstand and pulls a cloth from the drawer and presses it to some of the welling tears, and Weiren lets out another laugh.

“Do you know how romantic that was?” They manage to say, taking the cloth to wipe at their other eyes, “I think anyone would fall in love with you if they heard that.”

“Hm, well, these words are for you alone,” she returns, “I learned from the best, after all.” They chuckle at that, setting the cloth down as she smiles at them. In physicality she’d been the teacher, but with  _ love _ and  _ romance  _ she’d been the student. She wonders what else she will learn from them, what else they might learn from her.

“Glad I could help,” they banter.

“Yes,” she agrees, and then drags a hand down to the neckline of their dress, “But perhaps now it is time for me to help myself.” Vicouryn pulls one end of the dark ribbon free, letting their chest peek out from the black fabric.

“Me, too,” Weiren says, and with a warm hand they cup her cheek, leaning towards her. She smiles again and meets them in a kiss, first soft and gentle but again she  _ is  _ a little impassioned, so it is not too long before she pushes them back down and reaches into their mouth, stroking them in every way she knows they love. Their hands reach around to her back and find the buttons of her dress and they manage to undo a helpful couple before she leans back and pulls it over her head, letting it fall in a pile on the side. Now it is their turn, but it is difficult with them being beneath her. Well, it’s a good thing this dress can be opened entirely from the front, thanks to Freya, and she carefully pulls the laces loose. Beneath the bodice the skirt simply has a button to layer over itself, and it is easy to undo that as well. 

Gods, she loves to see their body. Their strength, their warmth, their scars, their softness, it is all exquisite. As usual she can find some of her marks from the previous night, but as usual she wants to add more.

Until she has another thought.

“Love,” she says, sitting upright on their legs, “I… I want a mark.” She’s never really gotten one before, but Weiren is so happy to receive them from her, and now having fully accepted her love, the idea of having a reminder of their love for her on her skin is appealing. At least, she thinks it is. She’ll try it once, at least, to see if she likes it. “From you, that is.”

The paladin blinks in surprise.

“Are you sure?” They ask, sitting up as well, their face reddened.

“Yes,” she answers, “I would like to try it, if you are amenable.” 

“Of course! I just, uh, might need some guidance.” Weiren nods at her, which makes sense since they’ve never given one before. “Is there a specific place…?”

With a hand she taps at the side of her neck. Plenty of her wardrobe has high, elegant collars, so she has no fear of it being visible.

“Here is fine,” she says, “Come.” She gestures, pulling them closer, and they oblige. They settle hesitant hands on her sides as she moves the strap of her chemise out of the way.

“Well, uh, here goes,” they announce, and it makes her laugh, but of course they don’t go right to it. Like everything they’ve learned from her, they like to work up to it, using their lips to pleasure her by kissing her skin. The neckline of the chemise is low enough that they can start with the top of her chest and then drift up, gliding along her collarbone until they find the softer flesh. A few more kisses and a stroke of her ear, and she’s sighing softly with their touch. 

“You can use more force, love,” she says as Weiren begins to apply pressure, “Or else it won’t show.” There’s an awkward but fun few minutes as the paladin attempts to suck, them a little reticent of going too forcefully. They fumble around a little longer, but then they finally achieve what feels like enough, and she inhales sharply as they proceed with marking. Of course, if it needs to be enough to burst the vessels under the skin, then it is going to hurt a bit, but it is not too bad. A half minute passes, and finally they pull away nervously.

“Oh, wow,” they say, looking down where they marked, “I think I did it.” She reaches up to touch the spot, which tingles a bit.

“You did well,” she hums in satisfaction, twisting to get a quick glance at the mirror in the nearby corner. It is dark, but she can see in all levels of light, and there is indeed a darkened spot on her neck.

“Sorry it took so long.” Weiren wipes at their mouth, “Oh, wait.”

“Hm?”

Suddenly Weiren’s laughing again.

“It’s already fading,” they say, shoulders shaking in amusement, “I forgot you heal quickly.”

Oh! She forgot, too, and then she’s laughing with them. Weiren, too, heals from her marks quickly, but not quick  _ this  _ unnaturally fast.

“How unfortunate,” she comments, shaking her head, and a vague disappointment gnaws at her. Of course, another thing her vampirism prevents. The only thing of permanence is  _ her _ , but none of the reminders of her past can remain on her body. She guesses only a truly devastating wound would be enough to leave any semblance of a scar, something more expansive and destructive than the enchanted arrows used in her attempted assassination. Even Weiren’s presence beside her is not permanent, is it? Be immortal by divine blessing or not, who knows what the future will hold?

“I guess it means I can make them more frequently.” Weiren shrugs in a good natured fashion, “Whenever you want them, that is.”

Vicouryn looks back up to meet their soft gaze. She doesn’t have to worry about that far future, does she? Not when Weiren is right here, with her, in the present, not when they are loving each other so fiercely. For now, she can love them in the way they deserve, and instead of worrying about losing them, perhaps she might hope for their happiness, instead. There is so much change coming, and there is so much opportunity for the both of them, and she wants to look to the future with confidence. 

Like, for example, the prospect of baking something with Weiren tomorrow.

“Yes,” she answers fondly, “For now, then, love, let us spend the rest of this night together.”

Weiren presses their head against shoulder, giving her another squeeze.

“I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wee woo wee woo thank u all again, epilogue is in the works then im probably gonna do some Mass Editing and reupload shit and update the prequel too woop. hopefully can post the last part sometime in march.
> 
> again thanks to everyone who read, and especially thanks to those who commented cuz those really fuel me and my writing juice. i hope u enjoyed !!! endless fluff and sappy shit!


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